The red blur formed into a human shape for an instant, and then it was a blur again.

“Is that Knuckles?” asked Budou, sharp as ever.

“I don’t think that Knuckles actually exists in the world of Wuweizi,” said Xi Guo Lao. “In fact I am completely certain that he does not, since sentient anthropomorphic echidnas don’t exist here. Or regular echidnas, for that matter, since we aren’t in some crappy Australian isekai world.”

“Did you know I can recite the full lyrics of Knuckles’s theme song?” Budou asked.

“I didn’t know that, and I’m actually scared about that fact.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“No, I do believe you.”

“I’m going to recite them verbatim,” Budou warned.

“Please, never do this.”

“I’m going to do it.”

“Please—“

“Here I come, rougher than the rest of them

The best of them, tougher than leather

You can call me Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don't chuckle

I'd rather flex my vines

I'm hard as nails, it ain't hard to tell

I break 'em down whether they solid or frail

Unlike the rest I'm independent from my first breath, first test

Feel the right then the worst's left

Born on an island in the sky

The blood of my ancestors flows inside you

My duty is to save the flower from evil cultivation

I will be the one to set your vines free true

Cleanse yourself of them evil spirits that's in you

Streaking lights, loud sounds, and instinct

Are the elements that keep me going

I am fighting my own mission

Nothing's gonna stand in my way

I will be the one to set your heart free true

Cleanse yourself of them evil soul crystals that are located inside of you

Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the vine and turmoil

Just believe in myself, won't rely on others

Get this power to wipe out the havoc and anarchy

This is my planet, gonna fight for my destiny

Here I come, rougher than the rest of them

The best of them, tougher than leather

You can call me Knuckles, unlike Sonic I don't chuckle

I'd rather flex my vines

I'm hard as nails, it ain't hard to fail

I break 'em down whether they solid or shit

Unlike the rest I'm independent from my first test, first pass

Feel the right then the worst's right

I have no such things as weak points

Don't approve of him, but got to trust his

This alliance has a purpose

This partnership is only temporary

I will be the one to set your heart free true

Cleanse yourself of evil spirits that got in you

Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the pain and turmoil

Just believe in myself, won't rely on others

Freedom will be waiting when serenity is restored

This is my planet, I shall not surrender

Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the pain and turmoil

Just believe in myself, won't rely on others

Get this power to wipe out the havoc and anarchy

This is my planet, gonna fight

Won't be frightened, I'll stand up to all the pain and turmoil

Just believe in myself, won't rely on anything (except for vines)

Freedom will be waiting when serenity is restored

This is my planet, I shall not surrender

The new porcupine on the block with the puffed chest

Out the wilderness with the ruggedness

Knock, knock, it's Knuckles, the blow thrower

Independent flower, magical Crystal Soul holder

Give you the coldest shoulder

My spike goes through boulders

That's why I stay a loner

I was born by myself

I don't need a posse, I get it on by myself

Adversaries get fucked!”

...

...

Xi Guo Lao stared at Budou for about fifteen seconds, unable to speak a single word.

“Impressive, huh?”

“Actually, I think you messed up a lot of it.”

“No way!”

“No, you most certainly did. Knuckles doesn’t swear.”

“He says ‘sexy and smooth’ in the Wild Canyon theme!”

“’Sexy’ is only a swear when you are seven.”

“True, but...”

“Just leave it,” commanded Xi Guo Lao.

“But... You know what! I can also recite the OTHER Knuckles theme!!!!”

“You...”

“But only the parts rapped by Hunnid-P!”

“NOOOOOOOO—“

“Something is calling me

I don't know what (Yeah)

Something is talking

But I don't know who (Yeah)

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what (Yeah)

Something is talking

But I don't know who (Yeah)

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

K-N-U-C-K-L-E-S

Was born for a lifetime

On Angel Island (yeah)

His duty's to protect

Master diamond

Hold the climate change metaphors

He's searching for shinin'

But everytime he look for the vines,

Is this the way?

The path I chose?

Then why am I living with my heart so warm?

All that I see is a storm of vines

I like to dig holes in search of platnium and ruby and sapphire

Large pots of treasure make me feel much better

If I fight Eggman, Rouge, Elon Musk, Vinelord, whoever, whatever, whenever

Clench my vines tight

Become more redder

I don't wanta hurta

My passion observed

Been lonely all my life...

Does it fucking matter?

Here for the mission

Whoever want it bring it

Call me stubborn but I'm still gonna live it

Doing anything to get

The pieces of the booty

Gonnalimb the mountain, through the booty, around us

Wild and hungry, ain't a vined thing funny

My philosophy's my knuckles and vines!

Something is calling me

I don't know what (Yeah)

Something is talking

But I don't know who (Yeah)

But I don't know who (Yeah)

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

I was born like this to fear no-one

I'm straight vined out

Only live to my ones

Diamonds and gems

We 'ka battle to the end

You best to be aware of the knuckles that I send

Once they penetrate, they'll put you to your death

They hard as iron and my vines is like fire

You'll never see me run and I won't surrender

I'll just fly away like it's no other contender

Something is calling me

I don't know what (Yeah)

Something is talking

But I don't know who (Yeah)

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what (Yeah)

Something is talking

But I don't know who (Yeah)

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines

Something is calling me

I don't know what

Something is talking

But I don't know who

Something is calling me

More and more

No one stops Knuckles' vines!”

...

...

“This is quite possibly the worst day of my entire life,” said Xi Guo Lao.”

“It’ll be a lot worse when the actual plot of the story starts,” said Budou. "It's going to be so subpar." He blew a puff of smoke in Xi Guo Lao’s face for no good reason.

“Hey!”

“Hay is for horses.”

Xi Guo Lao ignored that. “What is up with all these references to vines? It’s like you’re trying to artifically make some sort of meme or something. That is NOT how memes work.”

“Get froggin’ real!” Budou shouted.

“Is that, like, your catchphrase now?”

“Get froggin’ real!” he repeated.

“You really need to explain the vine stuff.”

“I don’t, and won’t, because then it would ruin the sur—“

“I’M ATTACKING AGAIN!”

The red blur reappeared and punched Xi Guo Lao in the face.

OH NO—