Good lord, I thought I’d left Sal in the past… After what happened, I felt crushed. I moved on, but here he was to probably get me fired again!

Whoopty Doo!

Where was I? Oh, yes, Sal.

It wasn’t like he was always this way, but he has always been a bit full of himself. We were once friends, and he helped me like a mentor to a student. He showed me how to use my powers, which I’m often still confused about today, and he was often like the dad I never had. Or, didn’t at the time being.

But… Despite his best efforts, I procrastinated out of every mission I could, knowing I could die. He always thought I was too scared, too timid.

“Well?” Stocklord asked, dramatically raising his hands to lighten the mood. I started wondering if he didn’t see the EDGY DRAMA in front of him… and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

“You two gonna hug or do I have to blow your brains out with a luger?”

“Maybe tone down the dark jokes, boss. We’ll hug if you ask nicely.” I replied, trying to keep my cool with Sal. I felt I delivered that very well. I didn’t really want to offend Stocklord persay, but I really needed to tell him Sal and I had a history.

“I’m getting the feeling both of you don’t know each other…” he inhaled, tilting his golden skull.

“Oh, is that so?” I said with sarcasm. Stocklord never seemed to pick up on it though…

“Yeah, well, forget the hug. What’s the issue?” he leaned in.

“Look, sir, I am sure there has just been a misunderstanding or something. This young man here is clearly not Quincy.” Sal piped up.

“No, I’m one hundred percent sure this is our loveable little Quincy Whistlewood.”

You should have seen Sal’s face when Stocklord said that! It tensed up just a tiny bit, but I knew that deep down that he was pissed that Stocklord thought I’m adorable. Is that petty? Yeah, I think so…

“Now then, I see there seems to be issues between you, but, I can’t be bothered to hire someone new to be your superior, Quincy.” Stocklord sighed, pressing another button, turning the screen into a crying face, which is what I wanted to do right now!

“How… does that even make sense though? Shouldn’t I be Sal’s superior? He’s the new guy.”

“I make the rules around here Quincy! Logic is what I bend it to!” he gestured with dramatic hand movements. “Also, I need someone to assist with something immediately, so, you’ll stay Sal.”

“Of course boss!” Sal chimed in, smirking at me. I sensed he was trying to kiss up to Stocklord, like he did with… uh… my old ‘boss’... at TUHF.

“Well, whatever it is, I suppose I can tolerate Sal…” I thought, Sal walking up beside me. I’d noticed he’d let himself go, but I didn’t realize by how much. His old muscle was flabby and his six pack had turned into a tummy, it was large enough that I knew about it through his hoodie.

I wondered if his fire powers that he’d been renowned for were weaker too…

“Alright, glad to see you two are so raring to go!” Stocklord awkwardly said after a moment of checking his computer. I really just wanted to say I have the flu or something to get out of doing this, but I’m not that scummy, am I?

“You’ll be going to see our friends at the Arcana Lodge, I need the two of you and Selene to go outside, and Gale will pick you both up. Could you talk about this with your sister, Quincy?” Stocklord continued. “They have requested our assistance, and not really given a reason, so it seems perfectly safe and not at all like they are trying to swindle us! …Yes, Quincy!” he noticed as I raised my hand.

“Won’t The Patriarch just be able to contact us here?”

“He said he’d prefer to meet you, as he’s afraid of the line being tapped.”

“Sounds paranoid.” Sal chimed in. How disrespectful! The Patriarch is like basically a cult leader, and an extremely powerful psionic super. And if he’s feeling afraid, that’s really urgent news. Sal was just being extremely rude about it in my opinion.

“He is quite a strange one, but I’m sure he has his reasons!” Stocklord joked. I suppose he was just trying to make Sal comfortable, but if I’d made a jab at The Patriarch, he probably wouldn’t be so jokey about it.

“Now then, Sal, I’d like to just privately talk with Quincy about something, you go get changed, ask Blackout about where the changing room is, I don’t have the time.”

“Of course, Stockie!” he winked. As I said, absolutely a fucking kiss up. But then that airhead winked at me too with a devilish smile. I frowned. I was honestly suspicious even. What if he still worked with TUHF?

After Sal left the room, Stocklord pressed a button on his computer and his office doors slammed shut. He gave me a glare.

“Quincy, tell me, what’s going on?” he asked directly, I shrugged. “If this is an issue to you, you need to spit it out.”

“Look, uh… Sal and I had a falling out back in TUHF… It was pretty bad, and he’s reeeeally full of himself.” I told him, but he didn’t seem to buy it.

“Hey, I’m a downright sociopath and you don’t have an issue with me! What’s the real problem?”

“Frankly, no offence, but I am just suspicious how he ended up here. What if he’s still in it with TUHF?”

“He asked to be here... with you. Like specifically to work with you. I simply jumped at the delicious opportunity to unite two old friends, Quincy my boy.”

“Yeah, well, that’s very nice… but I don’t talk about him for a reason… I mentioned him like... once.”

“Give him a chance Quincy. I’m not throwing him back out onto the street, he has nowhere to go, and he said he’d work for less than I offered as long as he can stay here. I call that a win win.”

“That’s called him stealing your utilities.”

“Quincy. Stop being so suspicious of him. Paranoia does nothing but hurt you.”

I would have argued further, as I knew paranoia is very helpful at the right times. So I decided to shut up and just suck it up.

“You should go talk to him about it. I think you can sort things out before your mission. Bury the proverbial hatchet, know what I’m sayin’?”

“Yeah, alright then Stocklord.”

I was gonna work with Sal, and I’d have to deal with it.

Sal came out of the room feeling quite pumped to begin his job. It had been a long time now since he’d been employed. Bouncing around between jobs after he’d quit TUHF out of shame and fear. He never admitted to either of those things though.

He would reform his life, from this very day. He’d get back into shape, eat right, finally get a girlfriend, and kick some ass. I mean, that’s at least what was running through his head. Although one thing certainly bugged him…

He was working for a villain now. And if villains were a race, Sal would be a racist.

And in that thought, his mood lessened. He then began to wonder if Quincy was even the same anymore…

“Yoooo, new dude!” Blackout interrupted Sal’s thoughts, sitting up.

“Hey, Stockie Stonks asked me to ask you about the changing room? Is he pulling a fast one on me?” he said in disbelief, in his defence, what kind of villain lair has a changing room?

“Oh, no dude. It’s real... the legendary changing room. Want me to lead you to it?”

“Uh… yeah.” Sal muttered, watching Blackout stand up.

“So, I’m Blackout, but you can call me Vigil. I’m a lover, not a fighter, and I’m the dude who designed this sexy mountain you roam through.”

They walked out past the pool and through one of the portals, going to one of the many hallways circling the main chasm in the center of Avernus.

“Are you blind?” Sal asked, looking at Vigil’s eyes.

“Oh! The eyes, yeah, they are my power. I see the world for what it can be!” Vigil said with a grand hand gesture and childlike enthusiasm.

“Neat.”

They went through another portal, some bathrooms were on the right, which they went into. “Not a big talker I take it! That’s alright. My mother told me I never shut up though, so I’m a bit of a chatterbox, hope that isn’t a bother.”

“No, I’m… just curious, you built this place?”

“Oh, yeah, sorta. As I said, I have the ability to see everything in it’s best possible state, and it makes me a bit of a compulsive perfectionist! I’m a complete psychopath!” Vigil said with a somewhat prideful tone.

“Well then, I’m Lethal Inferno, but you can call me Sal. I have-”

“Wait wait wait, lemme guess. You’re an anime dude with fire powers!”

“You got the last part right. What is everyone’s deal with anime? It’s not that good.”

Vigil stopped right as they were about to enter the changing rooms, he turned, looked Sal directly in the eyes as if he’d killed his whole family. “Excuse me?! Okay, dude, you need to watch something good. I’ll give you a DVD or something, I don’t use them anymore.”

Sal sighed and shrugged. “Yeah, whatever, little man. It’s not really my thing though, just warning you.” he said, going into the stall.

“Alright, well, whatever, but you’ll still watch it! I’ll force you!”

“I… have to change now.” Sal said, shutting the door uncomfortably.

“Okay, good luck, bye!” Vigil yelled, and Sal listened to his echoing footsteps disappear, down the hall, out of his mind.

He slung his backpack full of things over the back of the door, sat down on the bench, and sighed. He’d come here to work, get over his villain racism, and he told himself he’d make up with Quincy. But Quincy was now acting like an asshole to him, and the other villains here were acting so nice, it felt honestly strange.

But just then, he heard a knock at the stall.

“Sal, is that you? I… think we need to talk…”