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Chapter 349

Chapter 349: Before the Grave

There was a quiet solemnity at Phecda Revolutionary Memorial Park . A few fresh flowers were placed before Xue Ba’s grave . Gu Jun placed the bouquet that he brought among them . He stared at the handsome face on the tombstone quietly .

“Captain Xue, thank you for everything that you have taught me . ” He began softly . He knew that Captain Xue’s soul perhaps had already been drawn to become the servant for the Son of Misfortune and he would live out the rest of his non-life in that strange church… These thoughts caused Gu Jun’s brain to throb and he had to stop . It was probably the blood rushing to his brain . Gu Jun wanted to come pay respect to Xue Ba alone and to say his goodbyes but he was still trailed by a few members from Phecda . They were worried that he would need emergency rescue . It was January 26th . One week ago, Elder Tong hurried back from Russia . He explained to Gu Jun the test results and Phecda’s decision .

“Ah Jun, I understand what you feel…” Elder Tong sighed, “But such is life . ”

Naturally Gu Jun had problems taking in this result . There was loss, depression and an anger that found no vent . When he woke up from the coma, he thought he’d jump right back into action . There were many things waiting to be done like the formation of GOA and the bridging of relationships with the Zoog tribes . He even contemplated a return to Dreamland . But now…

However, beneath the depression, there was also a sense of relief . He did not know what to think .

“Elder Tong, I’m fine . ” He said at the time, “I’ve done everything that I could… To be honest, I’ve been meaning to take a break . ” He laughed self-deprecatingly, “I was so busy that I didn’t have time for movies . I don’t think I can stomach that kind of hectic schedule anymore . Finally I am relieved from the heavy responsibilities! This is a good thing!”

“That’s true . ” Elder Tong laughed along with him . “You’re essentially taking a paid holiday so enjoy it to your fullest! Take good care of yourself . ”

“Of course… I’ll leave the rest to you…” Gu Jun did not know what to say next . There was only so much self-deprecating humor he could muster at the time .

Regardless, over the past week, he still attempted some unconventional treatment . After all, his state was undeniably unconventional . For example, the system in his mind disintegrated but it did not disappear . It remained in his mind as a ball of chaos . What kind of influence would it have on Gu Jun now? Was it an after-effect from him being once consumed by darkness? He had no answer .

Gu Jun’s first attempt was the spirit barrier technique provided by Deng Ximei . In essence, it was like a self-hypnosis method employed by the foreign civilization . A layer of conscious protective barrier was formed through technical meditation and self-imagination . Phecda valued this technique greatly because the spirit barrier had many uses . According to Deng Ximei, other than a shield, spirit barriers could help assist those suffering from mental corruption by transferring the corruption onto the barrier . The spirit barrier could take the form of a virtual self or a dreamed future or a valued past . This technique was extremely valuable to frontline fighters and it enabled Phecda to master yet another advanced psychological technology .

Phecda had already selected the first batch of members from the Spell and Ancient Seal Departments to train this technique . Lou Xiaoning and Uncle Dan were among the selected . None of the land’s travellers were picked for they already possessed a second persona . An additional layer of mental barrier would complicate too many things .

Gu Jun’s usage of the spirit barrier was for self-treatment . He used a dreamed future to construct a barrier to try to treat the avoidance symptoms . But before he could start, just from listening to the explanation from Deng Ximei, the headache returned . The first attempt thus failed . The second attempt the day after ended in failure as well . He could not reach the level of self-meditation needed for the construction of the barrier . His mind was too befuddled . It was like asking him to run 1000 km with leads tied to his ankles .

After the failure with the spirit barrier technique, Gu Jun turned to Ancient Seal technology, psychotherapy, Chinese and western medicine, and even prayers . None of them were effective . His hope was dashed one after another . In the end, Gu Jun had no choice but to accept this bitter result .

It was the 26th, there were not that many days left until the eve of lunar new year . Thanks to the recent peace, everyone was given a rare holiday to return home to their families but many were too worried about Gu Jun to abandon him at the headquarters . Knowing that, Gu Jun requested to start his holiday early . His intention was to leave before New Year so that everyone could enjoy their holidays without having him as a burden .

“Captain Xue, I’m going to leave this afternoon . ” Gu Jun whispered to the tombstone . “I don’t know when I’ll be able to return . ” He would return for his scheduled brain scans but his ‘official return’ was undated . He was barred from participation in both frontline and admin work . Even his request to transfer to the Recreational Department and Public Relations Department was denied . As long as it was within the scope of Phecda and GOA, he would be exposed to supernatural elements and information, and that went against his prescribed convalesce arrangement .

In terms of supernatural elements, he only showed a lack of intense reaction around Lucky . He still suffered from a minor headache but that was it . Perhaps it was due to the sweet dream connection he had formed with Lucky or the Zoogs themselves was a non-trigger for Gu Jun . Therefore it meant that Gu Jun would still sit in the meetings regarding the formation of an alliance with the Zoogs . But ultimately, the best arrangement for his situation was to remove him from Phecda and allow him to return to a normal life .

“Captain Xue, don’t be sad for me . ” Gu Jun continued, “Compared to many others, I am already very lucky . Captain Xue, if you ask me, a hero like yourself deserves a better way to go than to succumb to a sudden misfortune and perish without causing nary a ripple…” He took a deep breath . It was hard to tell whether he was referring to Xue Ba or himself . “But this world is nothing but a vessel of regrets . Anyway, that’s all . I have to return to the hostel to pack . I’ll come visit you next time . ”

Then Gu Jun gave a military salute at the tombstone before he turned to walk away .