"Married?" He smiled, showing how the question made him feel amused. "You still want to ask me that even though you know that the one I love is right in front of me?"

"I'm just curious."

He chuckled. "Okay then, I'll answer you. My father has offered me lots of women, but I turned him down. I'm not interested in them."

"So you don't want to get married?"

He suddenly choked, holding back from laughing. He patted his chest, cleared his throat, then glanced at me with smiling eyes. "What the ... Chunghee, this is stupid. You ask me that like an innocent kid."

"I am an innocent kid."

He sighed. " Okay, alright." He took a sip of water before answering, "I said, I'm not interested in them. It's not that I don't want to get married."

"..."

Daehyun lifted his gaze. There was sincerity in his eyes. "I would get married if it is you."

"Are you so eager to marry me even though I haven't divorced the other one?"

"Didn't you two break up? You decided to leave, which means that you're no longer compatible with him. Haven't you thought about trying it with another man? What about me? I'm not that bad I think."

"You think?"

Smiling, he nodded quickly in response. "Yeah, I think."

Hearing his words, I couldn't help but laugh. After three years of living in a toxic relationship, this was the first time I felt happiness. I felt that we were two people who recently dated.

"You mean, after I tried it with you but if you don't comfort me, I can throw you away, is that so?" I asked.

Daehyun laughed. "Are you sure you won't be crazy about me? Don't let you be the one who is crazy about me."

Hearing those words, I shook my head, feeling he had just said a joke. So, I jokingly replied, "We're living together now. We're like husband and husband, aren't we?"

Eating his food, he replied indifferently, "Heh, this is illegal. I don't want to be accused of snatching someone's boyfriend again. But, forget it, you don't even want me to kiss you every day." He pretended to be sullen.

Hearing his sentence, I frowned. I seemed to find something odd, so I asked, "Hmm? What do you mean about 'to be accused'? Who?"

He grinned coldly. His expression turned different from how he had looked excited before. "Nothing. I just talked nonsense. But, about the marriage, I mean it. I want you to be my wife, not my husband. You're like a cute girl for me though."

I smiled bitterly. "You know, if your father heard about that, he wouldn't admit you as his son anymore."

Daehyun was silent all of a sudden. The look on his face had an expression full of unpredictable meaning.

I asked curiously, "Are you having a problem?"

"Why?"

"Nothing. I'm just guessing."

Daehyun laughed when he heard what I said. "Don't you feel that you have cared for me lately?"

"It's because there's no one else with me. I can't possibly do it to a ghost."

Daehyun immediately burst out laughing. "You're right. Too bad."

I didn't know what made him laugh at this trifle, yet I didn't think about it any longer. What I knew, when I was with him, he was indeed a fun guy even though his appearance was like an iceberg that stood firmly, no different from his old self.

He was very different from Donghwa, who was always serious in responding to anything, who couldn't distinguish seriousness from jokes.

I didn't mean to compare both of them, but it was a fact that heaven and earth agree with it that they had different personalities.

Our relationship was rigid, joking would only make us argue from time to time. But, even so, there was an intoxicating sweetness in it.

Strangely, Donghwa made me crazy about him for years and the madness became a sword that kept stuck in my heart, which would never be released even if the pain was truly inhuman.

After dinner and a shower, I leaned my back against the back of the bed, folding several pages from a book that I thought had an interesting quotes.

Then, before I laid down, Daehyun, who just came out of the bathroom by wearing a black shirt and gray shorts while drying his wet hair using a towel, caught my attention.

Daehyun frowned. "What's up?"

"You look weird wearing those clothes."

His appearance looked weird to my eyes. Why not? A man who always looked neat and elegant, like a boss with an aura of nobility, now looked like an ordinary man in the shirt and shorts he was wearing.

He chuckled for a moment before walking towards me, then took the pillow beside me.

I frowned and asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to sleep in the next room. Why?"

"What are you saying? Why don't you just sleep in the same bed with me? Are you shy?" I asked, teasing him a little.

He paused for a moment before replying, "Um, I can't. The bed is narrow."

I chuckled, then laid down. "See? The bed is really wide even. I'm thin and you—"

Before finishing my sentence, Daehyun's face turned serious. His gaze became sharp and I realized that I shouldn't tease him too far.

He walked towards me, still with the same expression. As soon as he was near me, he threw the pillow he was holding, then immediately got on top of me by pressing my hands beside my ears.

Daehyun looked completely different, but I tried to stay calm. "What are you doing?"

"This is why I can't sleep in the same bed with you. Because I want this — sex."

I was silent for a moment before saying, "Then, what are you waiting for? If you rape me now, I won't be able to fight you in my current condition though. You can do whatever you want because I won't be able to tell anyone about that either."

"Are you braving me? I can do it if I want to indulge my lust." He laughed hollowly. "You know, I've wanted to have sex with you since I met you for the first time, but I know that I might never do it. I could have raped you in my office if I wanted to, but I'm not that kind of person. I'll never hurt you."

Finishing his words, he also looked more relaxed. He let go of my hands, then slowly put his head on my chest. He knew that I was weak, so he didn't fully support his weight on me. He said in a low voice, "I'm sorry for saying this."

I was still surprised, but I was trying to relax. Patting his back gently, I said, "I can't do such an activity. I'm so weak. You won't be satisfied."

"Heh, but I'm sure you guys did it before you broke up, and you're in the same condition, right?"

"Daehyun, listen ..." I tried to explain, "Donghwa doesn't know my true condition, so he always forces me. Meanwhile, you, you are the only one who knows how I am right now."

"Heh, that doesn't comfort me at all."

Paused for a moment, I replied, "I can't do it with you. But, if you want it, I can do a blowjob for you. I'm not good at it, but I'll do my best."

Daehyun instantly raised his head, looking at me with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Chunghee, don't look at me like a horny dog. Don't take it seriously. What about hugging you?"

"Um, okay. Good idea."

Daehyun got rid of his body above me, then hugged me tightly while closing his eyes. He said jokingly, "You're naughty. Doesn't suit your stature. I didn't think you'd offer me such a thing."

I smiled stupidly. "Donghwa taught me to be like that. He taught me to watch porn and practiced it while having sex with him. How stupid, huh?"

"Heh, you turned out to be wilder than I thought." Paused for a moment, his voice sounded cold as soon as he said, "Chunghee, do you pity me? Don't pity me, okay?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I can see it in your eyes. You are doing this only because you feel sorry for me. I would rather be ignored than to be pitied by all your goodness."

"I don't get your point."

"Never mind. I'm sleepy. I'm going to sleep. Good night."

I gave no response other than fell silent, thinking about his words.

After this conversation, Daehyun immediately fell asleep beside me. I stared at him for a moment, seeing how his tired face looked very calm. I caressed his face gently and couldn't help but smile.

Daehyun was like Donghwa in the past. He was kind and considerate. That's why I couldn't ask Daehyun not to catch up with me at the airport. Now, I didn't have the heart to throw him out.

As soon as I wanted to release his hands from my body, the slightly movement suddenly made his move instinctively to hug me tighter, and muttered, saying my name.

Sadness suddenly appeared in my eyes. Then, I reflexively hugged his body which made me feel as if I was immersed in two strong and justice-filled arms. I buried my face and held back my tears from crying.

This feeling was the same when I was by Donghwa's side.

I never thought that trying to forget the person I loved would make the love inside of me swelled up.