I tried so hard to hold myself back from not doing anything. However, as time went on, his kisses became deeper and more passionate, leaving me unable to hold back any longer. Without being ordered, my body moved on its own, and in that instant, I was already pressing his body beneath mine.

I'm at my limit.

Kissing his lips, my hands began to move wildly on his body, feeling how smooth his skin was when I touched it. All I thought was "I want to become one with him".

Until he turned his face away to breathe, catching his gasping breath.

I stared intently at him in the dim light, staring at his slightly swollen lips. His cheeks were flushed and I loved to see them blossom like a plum. All of that drove me crazy and started to feel that I had lost the human side inside of me and became unconcerned about how he was right now.

Now, I was like a hungry beast who was waiting to eat his meat.

We didn't say a word in silence nor did I know what he was thinking about. However, I could feel something turbulent starting to enter my mind. This intimacy made me start thinking about doing vulgar things with him.

This is really bad.

My common sense was slowly starting to fade away, leaving behind a madness where I want to screw him right away and hear how he moaned.

It sounded fun in my fantasy.

I couldn't blame myself for this. Partly, it's because he tempted me continuously these days.

In fact, from the beginning, I had warned him, but he didn't want to listen to my words. Now, he was tempting me for the umpteenth time and I didn't want to miss this chance once again.

He didn't understand that beyond my quiet demeanor, there was a desire to rape him.

Feeling the emptiness on my lips, I was about to kiss his lips. However, before I could do it, he immediately restrained me as he said, "If you want to do it, then don't do it here. The floor—"

Without hearing the sentence completely, I could shortly understand what he meant. I immediately carried his body without saying anything and took him to the bedroom as if I was hypnotized by lust.

On the bed, I laid Chunghee's body carefully as if he was a precious stone that could break easily.

Hugging his body, I said in a hushed voice, "After this, the things will be different from now on. Never regret it."

There was a pause before he replied briefly, "I know."

On top of him, I kept looking at him, and the deeper I looked at him, the more I lost my sanity. I was about to take off his clothes, but he stopped me again, saying, "Turn off the lights first. I don't want you to see me."

Hearing his words, I grinned coldly and whispered in his ear intimately, "Why? Let me see your naked body. You started this, so don't be half-hearted to make me satisfied." With a pause, I continued in an instructing tone, "If you really want to do it with me, take off your clothes by yourself for me."

Chunghee suddenly fell silent. He looked at me with teary eyes and said, "Daehyun, you are really mean to me."

"I told you that I'm not a good person. So, now, do you want to do it or not?"

Turning his face away, he began to unbutton his pajamas one by one with trembling hands until his entire chest was exposed.

I immediately felt amazed, couldn't help but caress his body's skin, then slowly feeling a strong gardenia scent on his neck.

My mind started thinking of something crafty where I thought that I was supposed to become the owner of this man from the start, not someone else.

Exasperatedly, I gave a love bite on his neck, but suddenly he pushed me and said in a sulking tone, "I let you do it, but I didn't let you leave any marks on my body. Just do it and after that, go sleep."

Of course, with an empty head that was filled with the dirty thought, the words meant nothing to me.

Without thinking any longer, my messy brain immediately controlled my body so that I moved wildly over him, tasting the dish I had been waiting for for so long. There was nothing I wanted to miss from every part of his body as if everything was precious and it's a shame if I didn't leave any marks there.

After that, I began to press my hips between his two thighs, until we were fully together.

However, when I was inside him and starting to move slowly, he suddenly grimaced in pain, "Ah! It hurts ... it hurts ..."

I immediately stopped moving, looked at him with a chaotic look. Caressing his face, I said pitifully, "Chunghee, don't tell me that you're going to ask me to stop when I'm inside you already. I won't listen to you this time."

He stuttered back, "But ... it hurts ... it hurts so much ...."

Paused for a moment, I kissed his forehead and said, "I'll be gentle."

As soon as I finished my words, I started moving slowly. But, as I was so excited, I lost control of myself and became very aggressive.

I could hear how he grimaced in pain beneath me and I realized how he was. I shouldn't be able to do this, but my body was moving beyond my control.

Until I was almost reaching the climax. I hugged him tightly, whispering in his ear, "Chunghee, say my name ... say Brother Kim ... say it, I beg you ...."

However, in the end, he didn't say anything. He clammed up ​​when I asked him to say my name just once. At that moment, I realized that this was just hypocrisy of him.

I hated Chunghee's self like this ...

Instantly there was a feeling of anger, resentment, irritation, and disappointment, which almost exploded in my chest.

I had intended to do it only once, but my chaotic feelings made me feel that I needed to keep him from seducing me again.

As soon as I was about to do it, Chunghee hoarsely said, "Enough. I can't anymore. Stop it ... I beg you ...."

"No." I affirmed by the words, "I'll stop when I feel satisfied. Don't you want this? Now, I do it, and don't ask me to stop until I want to."

"Stop it ... I beg of you ...." Chunghee started to cry.

I felt that I had become someone else at this time. I became careless and cruel. Even though I only heard sobbing instead of moaning like I expected while we were doing it, I seemed to forget the rule of my life where I shouldn't hurt him.

But now, we made love not based on love but because of compulsion.

This was rape.

I just raped him.

When I saw his face filled with tears, the human side inside me that had been lost, now returned and immediately made me feel very guilty. I hugged him tightly and continued to apologize.

When we finished, Chunghee immediately fell asleep. His face looked so exhausted that I couldn't help but touch his face gently.

After that, I got out of the bed and smoked by the window, imagining how I had committed an act of decency. I was worried that Chunghee would get mad at me.

A few moments later, Chunghee was heard muttering. I immediately rubbed the tip of my cigarette against the frame, then approached him on the bed.

I held his hand, looking at his face in disappointment when I heard him say the same name as previous nights.

"Brother Lee ... don't go ...."

"Don't ... don't leave me ...."

"Brother Lee ...."

Grasping his hand tightly, I felt that I was pathetic. When I asked him to say my name, he didn't even want to do it. However, the person he thought that he hated the most, he even said his name subconsciously.

Loving someone who doesn't love you is so painful.

I could feel the pain living in my heart like a parasite that sticked to every cell.

Maybe Chunghee thought that he was suffering a lot right now, but did he ever think that how much I suffered for him without demanding anything?

Hearing him mention the same name every night and pretend to be his lover to calm him down, I was sure that it was rare to find someone who wanted to do such a stupid thing.

I said as if I was talking to myself, "Chunghee, if you still love him, why don't you come back to him? Don't torture your own feelings and don't torture me with these feelings."

"Heh, but, it's too late now."

As soon as I remembered about many things that I had been through just because I wanted to be with him, a crafty thought started creeping up my head. I said, "I told you that after we have sex, everything will change. I have sacrificed a lot of things, even my own family. I won't let you go that easily you know."

I kissed his forehead before laying down beside him, hugging his body tightly as if he was completely mine, and no one could take him away from me again.