Chapter 901: My Heart Hurts

She placed his hand above her heart…

Lu Jinwen suddenly paused. An astute man like him was able to infer a lot from that one move.

His eyes glinted like hardened steel. “What do you mean? What do you exactly mean?”

His voice was harsh, his eyes narrowed in disbelief.

Lin Xuanji’s eyelashes fluttered, two drops of tears came out from the corners of her eyes before it trickled down and disappeared into her hair.

She spoke feebly, “Lu Jinwen, I should have… told you earlier, I should have told you a long time ago. Actually… My heart… hurts so much…”

Lu Jinwen froze as her words burned into his mind—- My heart hurts so much.

She said, her heart hurts so much.

Boom. He fell on one knee, pulling her tight into his embrace with one hand while the other was clutching onto her shoulder. His eyes turned bloodshot. “What are you talking about, I don’t understand you. I really don’t understand you.”

Lin Xuanji looked at him, lifting her hands to hug his neck before kissing him on the lips.

“Lu Jinwen, you must live on. I won’t let you die… even if it means giving up my own life, I will make sure to save you…”

As Lu Jinwen lowered his head, he nuzzled the tip of his nose against her face. He understood everything, he finally figured everything out.

—-Lu Jinwen, you must live on, I won’t let you die…

—-Even if it means giving up my own life, I will make sure to save you…

30 years ago, he had taken in the toxic gas at Bangkok No.7 and fainted by the roadside. The toxins had acted up and right when he thought he was about to die, he heard a sensual voice.

The maiden’s lips were on his and she sucked the toxins out of him. When he opened his eyes, he saw Lin Xuanyin in front of him.

Even after so many years, he hadn’t forgotten that voice.

It was because of that voice he heard back then that resulted in his protection over Lin Xuanyin. Even when Lin Xuanyin harmed his second child, he hadn’t done anything to her at all.

However…

Now she was telling him that it was her back then!

He clutched onto her shoulders tightly, wanting her to fuse into his blood and bones. His veins were popping and he buried his face in her hair, laughing while in disbelief. “You think that I’d believe you just like that? I won’t believe you! Let me tell you this, Xuanji, I’ll never believe you!”

His voice traveled into her ears and the corner of her lips slowly kicked up. She drifted into those fated memories and her voice was faint.

“Back then, I waited for you for an entire day at Bangkok No. 1. When I walked outside at dawn, I suddenly saw… you on the ground.

“You had taken in the toxic gas and so I… saved you. I sucked out the toxic gas in your body and after that, I wanted to call for an ambulance, only to realize I hadn’t brought my cell phone. I could only run to the phone booth on the opposite side of the street and when I came back… you had already disappeared…

“None of you fully understand the effects of the poison at Bangkok No.1. Ha, the toxic gas will be taken in by people who enter the valley and one will faint on the spot, just like how you did back then. If this poison is sucked out by someone, it will hide in the person’s body and will only become a chronic poison, seeping into the blood and heart of that person. That was exactly why I hadn’t suffered any effects of the poison in the first few years…

“I wanted to go and find you, but… you already got together with my sister and didn’t come meet me at Bangkok No.1. You went with Sister… After chasing you for two whole years, I didn’t receive any response from you. I planned… to go study overseas with Mosheng, to leave this godforsaken place and… forget you. But… you caught me and said you were going to dig out my heart to give my sister a heart transplant.

“I knew that Sister had a heart problem all along and when I saw you being so protective of Sister, I couldn’t bear to agitate her. I thought that you… really loved Sister.

“Why would I continue with my one-sided love when you clearly stated your feelings for her and let you ridicule me by telling you the truth?

“I was confined by you in the seaview bungalow, I gave birth to your daughter… Mo’er, I suffered a miscarriage because of you and even gave birth to Chenyi later. Life was simply… unbearable, I was almost going to give up, just one day before the heart transplant surgery, I suddenly felt… my chest hurting. I vomited blood, it was only then I realized I had contracted the poison…

“I lost all hope back then and decided to consume the heartbreak grass and jump into the sea back then, Who would have known that… the heartbreak grass had formed a counter effect with the poison in my body, causing me to lose consciousness for so many years. However, when I regained consciousness three years ago, the chronic poison instantly accelerated and spread all over my entire body… It has already spread to my heart, there’s no cure left…”

She murmured feebly, her voice filled with regret. They had a special affinity but their entire relationship was a cruel twist of fate.

Yes, their fate was doomed.

Lu Jinwen understood it all, as though someone had stabbed his heart and twisted the knife around, till it was all bloody.

Pain.

The pain was indescribable, it was excruciating.

She had finally revealed the other half of the script that she had kept hidden away, it almost cost him his life.

They had both spent a few meaningless decades apart. The two who were in love with each other had to scheme against each other and wasted so much time.

So it was her!

He hadn’t known at all!

He nuzzled his head against her hair, tears flowing out of his eyes uncontrollably. “You didn’t say it before you jumped into the sea back then, why did you choose to reveal the truth today?”

“That’s because you didn’t know that I actually love you back then and would never tell me the truth, thinking that I wouldn’t hurt even a bit. However, the circumstances are different now. You actually know that I love you and by revealing the truth, you’re going to send me right into an abyss. Xuanji, you’re merely making use of my love for you, how much do you actually hate me?”

His tears ran over her skin, making her smile. “Lu Jinwen, I do hate you. I will never forgive you for the child that we’ve lost.”

“Ha.” Lu Jinwen let out a chuckle and let go of her. He looked at her with bloodshot eyes while placing his palm gently on her cheek, with a tender voice that he had never used, he uttered, “Xuanji, admit it, you still love me.”

“You can forgive me if I don’t love you but you can’t forgive me if I love you. You wanted to take revenge so badly… isn’t that also considered your love for me?”

He loved her but he hadn’t protected their child.

He loved her but their relationship ended up like that.

They shouldn’t have ended up like that!

She just couldn’t get over him and had experienced feelings of hatred, sadness, dejection, she had to go through all of that because of her love for him.