Why Are You So Obsessed With Rejecting Affection? Chapter 1
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Translator and Editor: Reg and Aki
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Chapter 1 – How To Escape From Hell
「The marble floor that touched her knees was cold.
But her father’s eyes that stared down at her were much colder.
She really wanted to be a part of this family.
That’s why Shuelina chose to beg desperately instead.
She caught his eyes with her hopeless ones.
Why can’t he recognize her mother’s violet eyes and his own blue eyes?
“I-I am telling the truth. That baby 18 years ago—”
“The evidence.”
The emperor asked coldly.
Shuelina quietly shook her head in despair.
Evidence.
That’s right, the evidence.
Shuelina wanted to find one, too.
She searched for a long time to prove that she fits in this beautiful family.
But the sky is called the sky, the sea is called the sea, and Shuelina is called Shuelina.
It was so difficult to find proof that she is the daughter of the man in front of her.
‘He wants something that is clearly impossible?’
As she tried to knock on her father’s heart, her own heart grew weary.
She didn’t think he would ask her something so difficult.
She only wanted to prove that she has the legitimate right to love this family.
Shuelina gathered her trembling hands together.
By using the last ounce of her power, she managed to create a small light.
It is a spirit trick that can only be used by the members of the royal family.
Even though the spirit is not embodied properly, her power is clearly a spiritual force.
This power is Shuelina’s only proof that she is his daughter.
But the emperor’s eyes remained emotionless.
“Your power is weak.”
“……”
Her small wrists trembled.
She told him so many times.
Someone is draining her powers. Someone is trying to kill her.
‘You’re losing your spiritual power?’
But his only response was a cold laugh as he looked at her as if she was ridiculous.
The person, who hates Shuelina and is taking her powers away, also started to take her vitality at some point.
Shuelina was dying day by day.
In the end, the little light left has also disappeared. Only a cold silence remained.
“You’re not my child.”
Shuelina wetted her lips, but her voice did not come out.
She looked up at him again, without crying anymore……
“Get in.”
The emperor pointed at the mirror before her.
It was the mirror of the spirit. Once she enters that mirror, she will be trapped inside the spirit world, and she will never be able to go out again.
The five-colored mirror was mesmerizing, but it was similar to an execution place for Shuelina.
Shuelina, who had no energy left, slightly shook her head. Her vision was blurry, and she felt like she was suffocating.
She wanted to do one last thing. Just once. She really wanted to call him by his title.
‘Fa…ther.’
She raised her head and muttered without a voice.
Blonde hair just like her father’s poured over her face.
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Her father’s back was getting farther and farther away.
It was like a whisper to Shuelina that her death is a very natural occurrence that’s not even worth watching.
And next to him is another girl of Shuelina’s age.
‘Azuela.’
She paused and looked back at Shuelina before smiling.
A brief smile that contained a lot of meaning.
The ridicule towards Shuelina, a sense of superiority, and mockery for dying without knowing the truth until the end.
‘It was you.’
The one who has taken her spirit’s powers away. The one who has been spreading vicious rumors about her by reversing the story of the things she did.
Clack-
Dark red blood flowed between her pale lips.
Because it was too much to use excessive mental power while losing her abilities, she felt her life getting drained through her fingertips.
There was a strong smell of death.
“My daughter died 18 years ago.”
The emperor, who followed Azuela, said coldly.
Shuelina’s tears have begun to fall once again.
‘That’s right. That child is dead.’
She had always wanted someone to love her and to wipe her tears away.
But in the end, even that simple wish did not come true.
“That’s right, Father. I’m a fake.”
Shuelina eventually approached the mirror with a shaky step.
A princess abandoned by everyone. A real princess who lived alone all her life.
It was the end of her role.」
…The end of this body.
Shuelina was an abandoned princess and the villainess of the novel,「Princess Azuela」.
But there was a big twist in this novel.
‘Shuelina was actually telling the truth.’
Azuela was the fake princess while Shuelina was the real one.
Shuelina, who was deprived of her spiritual powers with Azuela’s ruse, met a miserable end.
She was an innocent victim.
‘Really!’
I shook my head and clasped my hands in sorrow.
Because of its old age, the water from the mop dripped through the wooden floor’s skewer-like gaps.
I possessed the body of the ill-fated Shuelina, who also had the most unfortunate childhood.
It was the empress’ scheme to abandon her at an orphanage, and neither her older brother nor father looked for her.
I thought it would be alright as long as I had the memories of my past life, but the more the orphanage’s director abused me, the more I lost my memories.
‘Now I can only remember the story’s plot.’
My face reflected on the mirror was stiff from all the beatings I received.
I wonder if I still look like a five-year-old.
My cheeks are hollow, and my body, which is visible from my clothes, is just skin and bones.
‘I’m totally a baby……’
The villain, described as a fake princess, lived in poverty ever since she was young.
A part of my chest felt hollow.
Did possessing this body assimilate me to the young Shuelina’s emotions?
The more I lost my memories, the more I cried.
I felt like I was being stabbed in the chest everyday, I felt abandoned.
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I felt like I was left all alone in this world.
‘Shuelina and I, we were both abandoned……’
There was a faint glimmer of hope at first.
She was abandoned at an orphanage as scheduled, but before the original work began, wouldn’t her family try to find her?
But they didn’t.
It was already decided that we will be abandoned and that no one will look for us.
I remember what Shuelina heard when she first met her family.
‘Daughter? You’re not my child.’
‘Azuela is my only sister.’
The sight of my miserable future was so vivid.
I’ve read the novel, so I can remember some parts as if I’ve seen or heard them myself.
‘I will not live like that.’
I won’t get hurt, struggling for a family that just left me all alone.
I don’t think a family like that can be called hope.
‘I can’t call the people who abandoned me a family.’
I whispered to myself and to Shuelina, who is no longer here.
I accepted my new life by first giving up on my family.
“Shuelina, aren’t you supposed to be cleaning? Why are you just standing there stupidly?!”
“Kya!”
I jumped up, startled by the sudden yell.
Telin was glaring at me.
Telin is the first child that the orphanage had. She’s a girl who keeps on bullying Shuelina.
‘I was surprised when I found out the ridiculous reason why she hated me.’
She was envious of Shuelina’s brilliant blonde hair, which sparkled under the sun, in contrast to her dull hair color.
So she told lies to the director about the things Shuelina never did, then the director would hit her and starve her.
In the original story, Telin secretly dragged Shuelina to a corner before cutting her hair off, then she locked her in a closet.
“Terin, why dwon’t you do swome wok too? You’we paying all the twime.”
(Telin, why don’t you do some work too? You’re playing all the time.)
This tongue is quite short.
No matter how hard I tried, I can only speak like that.
I clicked my tongue. I tried to make it sound harsh, but it didn’t even come out properly.
Don’t think you’re the only one who hates the other. Telin’s eyes became angrier.
“What?! Do you want to die?”
Then she started swinging her arms.
She was obviously trying to hit me.
No matter how young she is, Terin, who is bigger in physique, might break my bones if she beats me up.
‘I don’t want to get hit!’
I threw the mop while avoiding Telin’s threateningly long arm.
The flying mop hit and covered Telin’s face.
“Ihh—Ihhh……!”
Telin made a fuss first before taking the mop off her flushed face.
“Kya! There’s a bug on Terin’s foot!”
“What? Kyaaaahhh!”
Telin started stomping her feet with an ear-piercing scream.
The mop, which covered her face, has already fallen off, but she doesn’t seem to see that there’s nothing on her foot because of her panic.
Then, she tripped on the bucket near her feet, then the bucket landed on her back.
The bucket was full of water that was used in washing the mop.
“Kya!”
Dirty, smelly water spilled over Telin’s body.
But that’s not all. The water was ice-cold thanks to the stingy director.
“Terin as a mwop.”
I said quietly and covered my mouth as if I really have no idea what she’s doing. With a puzzled look on her face, Telin, who was lying face-down on the floor with her whole body drenched, started to tremble.
“You damned little girl–!”
“What’s this? Why is the floor covered with dirty water?”
The other kids from the orphanage just came in. What greeted them was a messy room and a wet Telin.
Anyone could tell that this incident was Telin’s fault.
The orphanage children would always get irritated whenever Telin throws a fit.
“Telin, why would you still do this when you’re old enough already? Once the director sees this, we will have to clean up again.”
“That’s right. You’re older than Shuelina. What’s wrong with you?”
Even though the kids are not involved in this, they still had a lot to say to Telin, the foreman.
The orphanage children chose to laugh at Telin rather than help her, who was wet and smelly.
“You told me last time that you can’t clean, and then you spilled the water on the mop.”
“I didn’t do it!”
Telin gritted her teeth.
“Shu—Shuelina did this.”
“Shueli did not do anythwing.”
I said while shaking my head.
“Terin is the onwy one wu’s wet.”
(Terin is the only one who’s wet.)
“That’s right. If she did it, then she should be wet too.”
“Because you don’t have any excuse, you’re trying to pin it on Shuelina, who’s much younger than you, aren’t you?”
“That’s not it!”
The children’s insults made Telin burst into tears.
“What’s all this fuss about?”
A loud voice was heard in the whole room.
It was the orphanage director. The children instantly turned pale.
“Di—Director!”
As if Telin found her savior, her face brightened up as she pointed a finger at me.
“Shuelina had another accident.”
“Shuelina?”
The director looked around threateningly, but he found the bucket on Telin’s back, and she was the only one who was soaking wet.
Although the director uses Telin as a foreman, he doesn’t really care about her.
“But why are you the only one who got wet?”
“Th—That’s……”
“You’re lying to me? Are you looking down on me?!”
The director hated being looked down on by a child the most.
“Telin, you’re on probation starting tomorrow.”
“Di—Director!”
“Don’t talk back! If you disobey me again, I’ll lock you up in the attic!”
With a furious look, the director dragged Telin with his strong hand.
Telin gave him a look as if she was wronged as he continued to take her away.
‘You deserve it.’
With my head poked out, I hid behind the others and watched Telin with innocent eyes.
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