Why Are You So Obsessed With Rejecting Affection? Chapter 10
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Translator: Reg
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Chapter 10
“Are you scared of the grand duke and the young masters? Do you feel it instinctively?”
“Pawdon……?”
“This is an internal matter, but……”
Lucy looked a bit hesitant.
Well, as a servant, she can’t just speak lightly about her masters.
“They are really good people.”
However, it seems that Lucy doesn’t want to hide it from me.
She told me about the Vailot’s curse.
“Everyone is afraid of the Vailots, probably because of their energy.”
(T/N: The energy that Lucy meant here is the curse, she just made the word sound softer or not as harsh as the word ‘curse’, since Shuelina is still a child.)
“Ah……”
“They were worried that you might’ve gotten sick because you spent a lot of time with them.”
‘That’s not it.’
The cause that the doctor told me was different.
How much did Wyndert and Deleign worry that their curse was the reason I got sick?
The Grand Ducal Family of Vailot is a family that was cursed up to its current generation. Because of that curse, everyone was afraid of the Vailot’s direct lineage.
Even the people who have known them for a long time did not dare to express their feelings in fear of how the Vailots might react.
Wyndert and Deleign must be sensitive to that kind of treatment. I felt a pang on my chest when I thought about how lonely these children must’ve been.
“I wasn’t scawed at aw. On the contwawy, I was happy that evewyone was so nwice to me.”
(I wasn’t scared at all. On the contrary, I was happy that everyone was so nice to me.)
I shook my head at Lucy and denied it.
‘I can’t let that happen. I don’t want those two to get hurt by a misunderstanding like this!’
I jumped off the stool and rushed out of the bathroom.
‘Please listen to me carefully.’
Near the bathroom stood Wyndert and the grand duke with nervous expressions. Their expressions turned to surprise when I jumped out of nowhere.
“Shushu?”
“Bwothe Wyngdy didn’t weally want to avoid me eawie. You nweve held hands with anyone befowe, so you avoided my hand.”
(Brother Wyndy didn’t really want to avoid me earlier. You never held hands with anyone before, so you avoided my hand.)
Wyndert’s cheeks flushed as he opened his mouth to protest.
I guess I’m happy that he didn’t do it because he disliked me.
“I wike the gwand duke. I wike Bwothe Wyngdy. I wike Bwothe Dew. I wike Wucy.”
I grabbed the grand duke’s hands. I was very eager to hold his hands for some reason.
His big hands, as if they knew what my heart wanted, wrapped my hands completely.
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The grand duke, who hesitated for a moment, held them gently and stared into my eyes.
“This pwace is nice, and the pweope that wive hewe awe awso nice. It feews wike heaven compawed to the owphanage.”
(This place is nice, and the people that live here are also nice. It feels like heaven compared to the orphanage.)
“Shushu……”
The grand duke called me in a way that sounded like he was clenching his teeth.
“No one is intewested in Shueliya thewe. I hate being…… an owphan.”
(No one is interested in Shuelina there. I hate being…… an orphan.)
I choked for a moment and stuttered.
No one liked me.
It was faster to count the people who hated me than the people who liked me.
I was just a child who had no choice but to get beaten unconditionally.
A child not worth the love. A bothersome child.
Everything I had was taken away from me.
Hating and abusing me was just like playing around or relieving stress to some people.
“I met a wot of good pweope fow the fwist twime in my wife.”
(I met a lot of good people for the first time in my life.)
Talking about it made me sad, and my eyes welled up with tears.
In the novel, Shuelina was denied by her family. She was always alone.
Just like me who fell alone in this world.
Shuelina and I were always alone.
And these people too. In a way, they are also alone.
I realized why my heart wants to be with them.
They are the same as me.
‘I was very happy whenever they carried me and held my hand……’
I stared up at the grand duke and Wyndert without wiping the tears that flowed down my cheeks.
“Awe you stiw going to avoid me? I’w be weally sad if you avoid me……!”
(Are you still going to avoid me? I’ll be really sad if you avoid me……!)
The grand duke squeezed my hands.
Then he hugged me tightly.
“You’re not an orphan. You’re my little sister.”
Wyndert whispered to me.
“You’re still grubby. Wash yourself first then I’ll feed you soup.”
The grand duke wiped the tears off my cheeks.
I nodded with a big smile.
“My hand……”
I reached out my hand. I wanted Wyndert to hold it.
Wyndert took my outstretched hand in his. His warm hand covered mine.
“……Don’t avoid it agwain.”
I murmured. My small voice barely came out.
Wyndert nodded.
He patted me on the head once, before he took me back inside the bathroom and closed the door.
“That’s great. I’m so happy to serve such a lovely lady.”
Lucy’s eyes welled up with tears. She was standing by the door earlier with a worried look.
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She’s a person who sincerely cares about a child whom she just met.
Her warm heart is like a blessing to an orphan like me.
Her welcoming and comforting personality is very pleasing.
“Thwanks, Wucy. I’m vewy happwy to have mwet Wucy too.”
(Thanks, Lucy. I’m very happy to have met Lucy too.)
I held her hand and waved it as if to say hello.
We burst out laughing at the same time.
She gave me a tight hug. It felt good because it was warm.
“M’lady, you will feel better if you bathe in water with scented salt.”
Lucy even asked for my opinion in choosing a bath salt.
She was kind to me even in the absence of the grand duke and other people.
‘I’m very thankful. I, who never had anything, thought that it will always be that way……’
They’re people who feel more like a family to me than the real one.
I had a hunch that I can’t help but love them.
* * *
I felt good and tired at the same time because of the warm water.
I came out of the bathroom after washing up. The grand duke was seated on a stool by the bedside, waiting for me.
“You cried.”
He stated with a serious look as soon as he saw my face.
“What is he talking about?’
Unlike me, who didn’t understand what he meant, Lucy burst out laughing.
“No, Your Grace. Her eyes are moist because of the warm water.”
I turned my head and looked at the mirror on the wall.
I could see that my eyes are slightly swollen as if they were stung by a bee. The skin around it was hot. My eyes are also a bit moist.
‘Hehe, cute.’
The pajamas I’m wearing are cute. It made me feel better, so I giggled.
“M’lady looks prettier after washing up, doesn’t she? She’s as cute as an angel.”
The grand duke scrutinized me at Lucy’s words before nodding his head slightly.
Well, I was already pretty even when I was still in the orphanage, but I must be shinier now that I’ve been polished and washed up.
I’m a little worried since the grand duke is always pretty whenever I see him, but he won’t think I’m ugly, right?
I grinned and strode to the grand duke’s side.
“……Cute.”
He murmured softly.
‘What?’
I thought I heard it wrong, but there seemed to be a crack on the grand duke’s usually icy expression.
‘Do I look cute in front of the grand duke right now?’
It was a manner that I never expected from him since he always looked cold.
Am I cute in this man’s eyes?
I felt flattered and returned the praise to the grand duke.
“The gwand duke is cute too. Ah! Wucy made me wea this. Isn’t it fwom you?”
(The grand duke is cute too. Ah! Lucy made me wear this. Isn’t it from you?)
I twirled on the spot to show off my new pajamas!
I wanted to share my excitement with the grand duke.
This dress was prepared by this person.
I wanted to convey how moved I am, how happy I am, and how grateful I am to him.
“It’s like a dragonfly’s wings.”
The grand duke murmured.
‘Dragonfly’s wings?’
It was a totally different comment from what I had expected.
Cute, pretty, it looks good on you. I was expecting those words.
I couldn’t figure out what he meant by that.
I want to get a better response. I have to make the grand duke’s reaction stronger.
‘Shall I show off the laces?’
I pulled the hem of my skirt up to my knees so that he could see the laces under the skirt well.
“Wook! I’ve nevew won somethwing wike this befowe! It’s so soft and pwetty!”
(Look! I’ve never worn something like this before! It’s so soft and pretty!)
I really like the white pajamas I’m wearing right now.
There’s a cute ribbon around the neck, and fancy laces at the end of the sleeves and at the hem of the skirt.
The body of the dress is so cute and it seems comfortable to roll on the bed with this.
‘First of all, I like it because it’s soft.’
It’s different from the clothes in the orphanage, which is rough against the skin.
Even if I rolled a lot of times while wearing this, it will remain soft.
“Oh my word, m’lady!”
Then suddenly, Lucy’s exclaim was heard near the bathroom where she stood.
‘What’s going on?’
I looked at Lucy in surprise.
“A lady should not raise the hem of their dress like that in front of a gentleman!”
Lucy, who incidentally saw me raising my skirt, seemed to be very shocked.
Her friendly voice snapped unappealingly.
‘But my body looks like a four-year-old’s.’
I looked down at my legs that are as thin as sticks, before awkwardly lowering the hem of my dress.
I wasn’t embarrassed since I’m still young. I was just ashamed of my skinny, pale legs.
Come to think of it, the director also hated looking at me during bath time.
‘Oh my goodness, how disgusting!’
‘Wash up by yourself!’
She said I was so skinny that my bones were sticking out.
I find it ugly too. I’m sure everyone would prefer a chubby and soft child.
I glanced at the grand duke.
‘He’s not disgusted with my body, is he?’
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