Ruan paced back and forth in the tiny room. Varajas had been gone too long. If Ruan had to guess, he’d probably gone back to Sidaine’s estate. To do… Ruan didn’t know. He would go looking, but Ter Luniel was big, and “middle of the city” wasn’t all that much to go on, and he didn’t want to be away for hours in case Varajas came back.

What Ruan had done was find a Star wizard and sent a message. Things were getting out of hand quickly here. A rider would have been too slow. Magic was the best option, even if they weren’t supposed to expose their communications to outsiders. This was a special circumstance.

The door to the room swung open and Ruan felt a wash of relief that Varajas had finally come back. Except it wasn’t Varajas standing there.

High Father Donatien had come himself. Which was a different kind of comfort. Ruan brought himself to attention, relaxing into the position as he processed the fact that Donatien was now responsible for figuring out what to do. It wasn’t going to be Ruan’s decision anymore.

Donatien was the High Father. Whatever decision he made would be the right one. Ruan believed that with every fiber of his being.

Do you still? Varajas asked acidly.

The part of Ruan who was watching this with full knowledge of what to come kept silent.

He did flinch a little when his past self greeted the High Father with such obvious relief, and without any questions in his mind. It was one thing that young Ruan had used magic to send the message. That sort of magic was commonplace, easy to obtain. For Donatien to have arrived so quickly—that meant someone had sent him through a gate. Ruan could probably have counted the number of wizards in the world who could work that sort of magic without running out of fingers. And one of them…

One of them was the Archwizard pulling the strings that had gotten them all trapped in this nightmare hellscape of Ulek.

The other thing Ruan hadn’t questioned back then—how Donatien had come by the knowledge that he shared immediately with Ruan. “Varajas has gone rogue. He’s turned against the order. He attacked and killed brother Eldred.”

Young Ruan responded to those words with shock. “No. That isn’t possible.”

“It’s true.” Donatien’s tone left no room for doubt. “Eldred is dead by Varajas’s hand.”

“Then Varajas had a reason. He wouldn’t have…he couldn’t have—”

“What reason?” Donatien asked sharply. “What reason could there be to kill a member of our order? We are the Brotherhood of the Blade. What excuse can you imagine to kill your own brother?”

Ruan bowed his head, penitent. He couldn’t think of a reason, but neither could he believe Varajas would have acted out of anything but the highest motives.

Although…

“This investigation. It’s been upsetting.” Upsetting enough to make Varajas…to destabilize him that badly?

“This investigation you aren’t supposed to be pursuing.”

It had been one thing when Eldred had told them no, but to hear it from the High Father broke Ruan just a little. “We’re trying to help these people. Someone is abusing magic, and badly. This is our duty!” Only after he’d said it did he realize he’d raised his voice to the High Father.

But Donatien, if anything, only softened at Ruan’s reaction. “I understand,” he said. “What it is to find something like this—an affront against your training. An affront against the Light. You want to help them. Of course you do.”

Ruan nodded, reassured. Donatien understood.

“What you aren’t seeing is the big picture. That’s my job, Ruan. My duty. It’s important to understand you are but two soldiers. You alone can’t solve all the problems of the world, and it’s unfair to expect that of yourself.”

It made sense what Donatien was saying, but, “No one was listening to us. No one else was trying to fix this.”

“Not that you saw, no. But that doesn’t mean we didn’t know. That I didn’t know, and that nothing was being done.”

Now Ruan felt utterly foolish. How could he have believed the High Father was just letting all this go? How could he have believed no one but he and Varajas had noticed? What arrogance. What thoughtlessness.

And it had led them to this. “Varajas killed Brother Eldred.” Saying the words out loud didn’t help them make any more sense.

Donatien locked eyes with Ruan, and Ruan felt the full force of his authority as he said, “I need you to find him. I need you to bring him to me.”

Ruan didn’t know what had happened, what had passed between Varajas and Eldred, but he was certain of one thing. Varajas hadn’t had enough time yet to calm down. “He won’t want to come.”

Donatien’s face held compassion, but there was steel in his voice. “You’re still thinking of him as your brother. Make no mistake, Ruan, Varajas has broken the laws of our order, of the church. He has committed murder. He has broken faith. As long as he’s out there,” Donatien’s arm swept wide, “he’s a fugitive. He must be brought in to face justice.”

Ruan still couldn’t wrap his mind around it. “There must be some mistake. Some misunderstanding.”

“I know what I know. Varajas is in rebellion.” Donatien’s expression hardened. “And it’s time for you to decide. Where are your loyalties, Ruan?”

“With the order,” he answered automatically. “With the Shepherd and the Prophet and the Light.” It was only as an afterthought he remembered to add, “With you, High Father.”

“Show me that’s true,” Donatien said. “Bring him back.” After a pause, he added, “Don’t make me have to hunt both of you.”