Jacob had given Helena a brief description of his past life before she set off for Fort Oak with Juliet, Epagogia, Marcus, and Lucius. She had nodded along and then set off. It had been very… anticlimactic.

Jacob was taking long puffs from one of his beloved cigarettes while thinking about Helena giving him the cold shoulder.

He had known it wouldn’t have made a difference with her after their fight. He had threatened her life, for Christ’s sake.

Jacob sighed and closed his eyes.

When his eyelids shut down, he could see another Helena, a scrappier one, with dirt in her hair and scars on her arms. Jacob imagined dancing with that Helena among the stars, as if they were in the darkest ballroom in existence, the universe.

That person had been his savior, his lover, and his dearest companion. She had taught him to be strong, stayed by his side when he hadn’t been, and loved him before he became a hero.

She had died when he was still a weakling, but she had still chosen him over anyone else. She hadn’t been that strong, but she had always put her life on the line for him.

And he could see her true smile while they were dancing among the stars in his head. He could feel the warmth. In this life, the closest moment to her had been while he had been setting up a Devilish Essence Distortion Formation after a fight with the Charybdes.

Then, after Frederick died, she had gotten more and more distant by the day.

The Helena he was dancing with in his fantasy caressed his face and looked at him. That’s what she did. She just looked. She couldn’t speak since she had been conjured by Jacob. But she conveyed all her love with the same expression he had meticulously committed to memory.

There was still one Helena in this world, alive and well, but a different one. There was one who didn’t love him and, from the looks of it, never will. He was strong and didn’t need saving in this life as he had in his past one.

Now and then, he thought about this Helena, how she was still the most beautiful woman there would ever be in existence. In those moments, Juliet and Epagogia disappeared completely from his mind. It was harsh, but Helena had an eclipsing capability that he had yet to find in any other woman; she was all-encompassing, capable of making his heartburn the brightest. It was hard to explain, but that’s how he felt.

What was he going to do?

Would he court a girl that was still fifteen? What right did he have now to interfere with her life, just their past?

That’s more than enough.

He looked toward the Helena he imagined himself with, and he thought he heard her say those words. He was delusional, he knew.

A figment of my imagination that wants me to act on my instincts, what a surprise.

…

Helena was in Ochre. It was her turn to rest while Juliet kept guard close to the Spirit Gathering Formation and Epagogia hunted for monsters.

She and Juliet would rotate to keep the Formation manned around the clock. Lucius and Marcus were cultivating like crazy and taking on the smaller wolves to become stronger. They had left all their subordinates behind, fighting as partners.

She got up from the bed and went to wash her face with some cold water and a bar of soap. Epagogia had set up some Water Gathering Formations, luckily.

She looked at herself in the mirror, looking at the dirt that was harder to scrape away from her body, her hair, less lustrous than usual.

Helena went to sit on a stool, trying to cultivate. Sadly, she had been distracted since she had come to Ochre. Jacob’s words resonated in her mind at all times.

Another life, another Helena, the same Jacob.

He had mentioned they had been romantically involved, but he hadn’t ventured further.

Was he afraid of having some conditioning effect on me?

What Jacob had said obviously fell perfectly in the last missing spot on the jigsaw. Everything clicked together. It had been so obvious, so under her nose, that she had been surprised not to have figured it out sooner.

Jacob had been so blunt about it, barely hiding it.

And she…

She was a kid in front of him.

Helena knew why he didn’t even try to court her. It wasn’t that hard to understand. He was much, much older. He had seen humanity go extinct. Jacob had been the last human on Earth, the most lonely person there could be. And he had mingled with other races that apparently now inhabited Earth, like Devils.

She looked out of the window, thinking of Epagogia. The literal Queen of Devils, Jacob’s love interest.

That spoke volumes about Jacob.

He has the Queen of Devils at his feet.

That was impressive. Helena – this Helena, at least, she figured – admired that kind of strength.

Now, for all she tried to avoid it, she had to re-evaluate her judgment of Jacob. She had gotten everything wrong, thinking of him like a small kid trying to get in her pants as soon as Frederick got out of the picture.

Jacob had, apparently, already been there. In her pants. And he had not made one move, not even the slightest flirting. He had been so pure about his love for her that now Helena felt like burying her head into the ground.

And the Queen of Devils was afraid of her. It was clear. Helena was much better than Juliet at reading people, and even though Epagogia had almost fooled her, she could tell Jacob must have told her about his love for the past Helena.

It had been a simple remark from the Devil.

‘Oh, so you are the little princess.’

After letting herself slip that little snide remark, Epagogia had played a perfect role in acting as if Helena didn’t bother her in the slightest. Instead, she had tried to undermine Juliet. She was simply acting as if her biggest threat was nothing at all.

She’s terrifying smart.

Helena’s brain always had to go in top gear every time the Devil was around. She didn’t want to be read like an open book, even though she knew that it was basically impossible to avoid it completely. But, at least for now, she should have fooled the Devil by acting in a pretty consistent way.

I need time to think.

That was her conclusion. She had been extremely cold with Jacob on purpose. Because if she had let her true emotions surface, he would have definitely noticed.