As I exit the portal a wolf and a unicorn dash in my embrace.

This is getting out of hand. Wolfie is small and fluffy, but what's with that horse?! Then again it did save me too.

*Hugs and pets*

It's crazy how even the ones that can talk are not immune to patting. I guess what feels nice feels nice no matter what. I guess they don't have the same pride as humans. Or perhaps humans are simply shyer about their quite normal desires.

Everyone longs for affection in a way. Could you imagine a world where humans would go see strangers hoping to get petted? I mean it would work for a cute girl for sure.

Still, as I'm laying in a world of fluff, I am seriously considering how dumb most of the isekai stories are. This is what real life looks like. A wolf and a horse. Where are the cute girls?! Nowhere!

Well, there was Luna, but I have no clue what she's up to nowadays. For all I know she's already forgotten me.

I really wish I had the power to see the description of my life right now. Like some godly power, you know.

*Checks tags hoping there is no NTR in it*

But I cannot. So I will have to remember my time with her as a fond memory and hope for the best.

As I pet the two of them, they seem to almost be fighting for my affection. Like I have two hands…. why is there even an issue in the first place?

Taken out of context I would almost seem like some Harem protagonist haha.

[Alright, I'm glad to see you two! How about we keep going? Maybe we can find some village on our way. We could perhaps hunt some game and borrow some kitchen for a bit?]

Wolfie seems pleased! That is because I am a master of the barbecue! (At least it's comestible) Only issue is I don't have my cooking boar. I really wonder what the others back in the forest are doing at the moment. What about Zero? Is he still training? I also wonder where the mercenaries and the first elder went.

Maybe I'll meet them all again one day. Hopefully. We start walking toward our destination. Good thing I have a map with detailed directions! I start walking confidently. Who knows what the future will bring but I ….

*AWOO! *

What's up? Wolfie is pointing to the map I am holding, then pointing in the opposite direction I am walking. Oh…

I look at it attentively again. Then I look at Wolfie. Then at the surroundings. Yep, she's right I was indeed heading the wrong way. I do a 180 degrees.

I start walking confidently once again. Who knows what the future will bring, but whatever it is I will brave it with Wolfie! Oh, and also the unicorn that is for some reason following behind me. Well, whatever I guess ….

****

And thus we hit the road again. Still, no Jack to be seen. Surprisingly, from time to time, I hear the unicorn in the back humming that one war song.

You know how it is supposed to be sung with gusto and as loud as possible? Well, somehow she does it with a crystal clear voice and in a low volume making it really creepy.

It sounds like the hummin of an angel. Except when you listen to the lyrics, it is all describing atrocities. This is oddly disturbing but also kind of epic. Some kind of ASMR from hell.

What kind of monster did I create? She used to be a normal sweet unicorn, but now she is all edgy. Oh well, it is too late. Probably won't matter. Edgy is not as weird in a fantasy world. There are legit demons wandering the land, probably?

So with some questionable background music, we keep journeying. Until appears a bunch of merchant carriages. About 10 of them, pretty big, with guards surrounding them.

Of course, the usual cliché caravan trope. We will talk to them, then we will agree to work in exchange for some food and to accompany them on their travels.

Then at some point, some bandits or monsters will attack. Then we will shine and step up to the defense!

Then will come the usual acclamation chapter. The one where they praise us to the moon, but of course I would remain humble and all.

I feel like the one doing the heavy lifting would be our unicorn friend. She is legit powerful. I've seen her trample skeletons. Very much like a bulldozer. A graceful one that comes with background music included.

Oh wait, we have a unicorn with us. No way they will underestimate us. Maybe we could make some money acting as bodyguards.

Time to look like a hidden expert. I slowly walk up to them without saying anything. Some guard hollers at me.

"Who the hell are you! Why are you trying to sneak in our midst?!"

[What sneak up? I'm just walking.]

Some corpulent middle-aged man with colorful clothes comes out. He gestures to the previous man.

"Don't worry I'll handle it."

Then he turns toward me.

"We don't want beggars here, so please stay far away from us. Should you come nearby we will consider you a thief and get rid of you. If you keep following us, we will consider you some bandit scout, chase you and gut you open. Is that clear? Next time a vagrant comes nearby just beat them up directly."

He seems satisfied and hops in a carriage. What the fuck. What happened to be kind to others? What about human decency?! But seriously, are they perhaps retarded or just blind?

I am traveling with a damn unicorn! I look at my companion that looks about to head over there and rip them to shred. I very much believe she can do it easily.

[Whatever let them be. They are idiots. Blind ones at that!]

But seriously why did they think me a vagrant? Would a vagrant have a unicorn and a wolf?

Oh wait, I kinda lost most of my clothes a while back while fighting the bone dragon.

Wait have I been pretty much naked this whole fucking time?!

Fuck me....wait not literally!