Ricdorian’s Heart

At this moment, I didn’t know if I should be grateful or embarrassed for the bright light.

At the same time I realized I remember this man more clearly than I thought.

“I hate her.”

The face of the man who murmured hatred turned red, reminiscent of a day in the prison.

A fun and peaceful time.

“I see.”

I struggled to open my mouth. To be honest, I didn’t really want to answer that.

This was Iana’s answer, not as a stranger in a maid outfit. And I had no intention of bringing out the buried story again.

It’s better to forget the lines you didn’t catch and the roads you didn’t take. Because it only calls for regret and pity. So I adapted well and lived.

His words rocked my indifference and caused a stir.

But now I couldn’t help but reply to the man who was staring at me.

“If it were me… because you asked me to think it’s me so I’ll answer.”

Yes, I would like you to listen to me thinking that it was Iana at the time wearing a maid’s mask. I think I had a lot to talk about when I wanted to visit you.

Sorry. I’ve forgotten a lot in three years.

“I am selfish.”

I raised my head.

“And shameless.”

The blue eyes fluttered in the light.

“If I didn’t keep my promise… I should’ve felt sorry? Just being selfish and brazen doesn’t mean you don’t feel sorry.”

I felt Pudding’s temperature in my arms, I touched Pudding’s soft feet and let it go. It was fortunate that there was Pudding at this moment.

“But over time, I’d have forgotten. I had no choice but to say that.”

I laughed a little.

“What if there’s a situation, that person wouldn’t know. As that person, I would have been a shameless and mean person who didn’t keep my promises. I guess so.”

That day I didn’t leave you, I thought so. You’re going to think of me now as shameless and mean.

Over time, I thought. I’d rather you just keep hating me. Then it will remain as a memory.

The only way to find out the truth was to dust the memories.

Despite my advice, Ricdorian eventually hated Chaser who killed his father.

“Then maybe I forgot.”

“…”

“Forgetting, happiness… umm. I don’t know about happiness but I may have lived in peace.”

Grab. I glanced sideways at the sensation of being hit in my arm. Suddenly, Ricdorian grabbed my forearm.

It didn’t hurt. I just looked at the white hand that grabbed my clothes and thought for a moment.

The beast version of him caught me so well, I would say. While whining ‘kiing, kiing’.

“Forgot?”

Right.

…with a face like this now.

“I mean, if it would have been me, Grand Duke.”

I didn’t panic. Instead, I smiled softly. Pretending not to know whether he’s scouring my face or not.

“Did you have your answer?”

As I spoke while looking at his hands, his fingertips seemed to tremble once.

Then, without hesitation, he let go.

“.…yes.”

When he raised his head, I saw a look of disapproval on his face. He covered his trembling eyes with the back of his hand for a moment.

The intensity of the light pouring down from behind has weakened. It looked like someone had turned off a light.

Deep blue eyes appeared between his fingers.

“It’s answered.”

He spit as if biting his lips.

“Very much.”

His voice was painful and cold as frost stinging.

“I don’t mean to believe it.”

I didn’t know that the temperature of the murmuring voice would change. I blinked at his words.

“It’s just a reference opinion…yes. That’s right.”

Ricdorian mumbled so softly, and then slowly tilted his head.

“If you forgot, it’s okay if you don’t let it be forgotten.”

The small voice that entered his mouth became less audible as he moved back. I only heard ‘If you forgot’.

The confused expression on his face gradually disappeared. He asked with a calm face.

“That’s the answer. So what do you want?”

He went straight to the point.

It wasn’t unusual because we had originally agreed to give and receive one by one.

I felt strange at this reaction. But what’s good is good.

I took a small sigh and took a step back. And I stretched out my arm as far as the step back.

“Didn’t I ask the Grand Duke if he likes cats?”

There was no time. I also had no intention of hiding the main point any more.

“I wish the Grand Duke would raise this cat.”

Ricdorian made a strange expression. It was an incomprehensible face.

“…it’s not difficult, but why?”

It was a face like ‘do you wish for this’. I smiled inside.

“It’s not that I won’t listen to it. It’s just a silly thing to say.”

“Yes, I felt it too.”

I glossed it over with laughter.

“I know it’s a rude and strange offer, but it’s urgent.”

Although Pudding was suddenly lifted, it did not cry and was quiet. It didn’t even talk to me.

It has been in this state since I faced Ricdorian yesterday. I think it was shocked, but I thought it would get better with time.

With affection, he stroked it with his thumb.

“It’s a cat that I love very much, but due to circumstances, I can’t keep it anymore.”

Anyway, I also knew that there were some nonsensical parts of what I was saying. One, it didn’t matter.

“I have to leave soon… I can’t find a place to live.”

After tonight, I won’t see you anymore. What if I look like a weird person in his head?

I literally started talking without filtering it.

“If I can get someone to raise it for me, it’s possible that I want them to have a lot of money and I like good-looking people. My cat loves to be in luxury.”

Ricdorian opened his mouth with a frown on his face.

“…Did you say you were my follower?”

“Yes, it is.”

It’s a word I just said out of the blue because I don’t have a word to replace ‘fan club’, but the tone is a bit strange.

“I accept the offer.”

Ricdorian pondered it, then continued.

“Then why don’t you come and raise it in my mansion?”

“What?”

After dropping the bomb, he looked nonchalant.

“Raise it yourself.”

….Yes?

“If it’s a cat you love so much, shouldn’t it go with you?”

No… If it was a real pet, I might be. No no. Wait a minute. It’s not that I don’t like Pudding… Isn’t this a bit too extreme a proposition?

“As you said, I’ll raise it. So I’ll take a look. But I can’t spend all my time.”

He was suddenly logical. He logically explained every side of it.

“I don’t know where you’re going, but it looks like you’re going to another family or another area? I’ll offer you better conditions than there.”

Why would you, holding on to a maid whom you didn’t know before a while ago?

Why are you suddenly saying something reasonable?

“I also need someone to take care of this cat. You do that.”

If I was actually going to take care of the cat, it was a very welcome offer. Yes, if it’s simply because the environment makes it impossible to raise it…

If it wasn’t for me being tied down. I couldn’t hide my awkward smile.

“Thank you for your words, but…”

“Why are you rejecting me?”

Ricdorian tilted his head.

“Chaser Louve Domulit would have offered the same thing.”

I paused.

Uh…. I thought he’d heard it, but I didn’t think he’d mention this. I already knew that his physical abilities were unusual.

“Of course, the duke’s intentions must have been different from mine.”

He even spoke out about Chaser. Very blatantly.

“I don’t make dirty offers.”

I have no time to answer. Because his head was tilted toward me.

“Or… Have you already accepted Domulit’s offer?”

As he got closer, he was immersed in the shadow. His face seemed to be engulfed in darkness for an instant.

“No!”

Startled, I shook my head. Why would I take that bastard’s proposal?

“If I had accepted it, I wouldn’t have been here with the Duke right now.”

Having said this up to this point, even Ricdorian seemed to agree.

“Anyway, I hope you will accept it. Since it is an animal you cherish so much, wouldn’t it be better to raise it yourself?”

Apparently, this person was suggesting it as a favor. It didn’t feel like the words were twisted like Chaser’s.

Thank you so much for your consideration….

I was about to say no once again, but suddenly Ricdorian’s pulled out one hand that was holding Pudding and brought it to his lips.

His lips brushed as if they were about to touch the back of my hand. No contact though. My back spread straight.

The ascetic and pure kiss evoked a rather strange imagination.

Because I already knew well what he did while holding my hand.

“I want you to accept it.”

He whispered softly. The clear voice in my memory was very low.

As if declaring that time has passed.

“Because I’m grateful to you.”

The way he greeted a maid like he would to a noble seemed to be a form of gratitude as he said. It was meant to be respectful.

Anyway, I’m very grateful for this kindness….

How to refuse. It was around the time that I went crazy thinking about escaping, which was less feasible, whether I would just throw Pudding in his arms and run away.

“And I don’t like animals very much, but I try to give them affection…”

Ricdorian suddenly reached out and touched Pudding’s head. Then he hardened his face.

Startle.

I felt Pudding’s body tense up. As if the tension was contagious, I brought Pudding into my arms.

Ricdorian took a step back and was staring at me.

“You, what are you?”