《God of the Feast (A dark litrpg/cultivation, portal fantasy)》Chapter 71 The Gaffer
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As we came round to the entrance at the front of the Palace, I noticed that there was actually one bridge right at the very top of the building that crossed over to a dark-colored building with a distinctly ominous feel.
“What’s next door?” I asked pointing.
“That’ll be where I reside,” he grinned. “City guard barracks and prison.”
“You keep the prison right next to the palace? That seems unnecessarily risky.”
“Ha, the prisons barely used. We don’t often take prisoners. You antagonize the dwarves, you die. Nice and simple.
“What about Dwarfs?”
“If you’re a dwarf and you break the rules, you die.”
“Seems brutal.”
“Not really. We don’t have many rules here. The few laws we have, carry the death penalty.
“What are the laws?”
“For dwarves? Robbery, rape and murder.”
“Well, I get two of them. But robbery carrying a death sentence is a bit rough.”
“Is it? I wouldn’t know we haven’t had a robbery in as long as I can remember and I’m a hair away from two hundred years old.”
I fell silent at that. I didn’t like the death for robbery but those were some damn fine statistics.
“What if someone was robbed and they murdered the robber?”
Grimstrom looked at me like I was stupid. I was used to that since I’d come to Falritas. “Well, that’s not murder, is it? Murders when someone doesn’t have it coming to them.”
“Okay. I’m not going any further down that rabbit hole. So who do you keep in the prison then?”
“Couple o’ murderers. That’s all. Neither are dwarves. That’s why they’re still with us. They’ll both be pitted by the end of the week.”
“Pitted?” I asked as we moved down to the lower tiers of the cavern.
“There’s a pit a few mile further on. There’s a Scooch in there.”
“Humor me here, Grimstrom. What the fuck is a Scooch?” I said, fighting the grin on my face.
“It’s this big jelly like monster with loads of teeth. Fills the bottom of this pit. Chews up and absorbs anything that falls in. Been there since before Nuinaer was built. We’re talking tens o’ thousands o’ years.”
“Just a second, Grimstrom,” I said, and turned back to my friends and Grigor. That was still a work in progress.
“Guys, I’m only gonna say this once. While we’re here, under no circumstances, no matter how fucking shiny it is, or how much someone annoys you, do not steal anything or murder anyone.”
“You forgot rape!” Grimstom said outraged.
“I hadn’t. I just didn’t think it was necessary.”
Grimstom continued to look worried by the omission, so I turned back. “And for Darkness’s sake, do not rape any of these fine dwarves.”
Both Joel and Sania decided that was hilarious and began laughing, which didn’t help. Luckily, Grigor was a humorless bastard, so that was something.
We walked a bit further toward the palace and guard quarters where a four armoured came out to greet us.
“I need this lot put in the Glaeg. I’ll be taking this one,” he said, pointing at me.
“Okay Sir. Will do,” the lead guard replied, hammering his fist into his chest like he had a bit of ham sandwich wedged in his gullet. I took it to be a salute.
“Hold up!” I burst out. “These two are bonded to me. They have to stay within a certain distance.”
“Do they go with you when to drop the rocks?”
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My blank look was enough to get him to elaborate.
“When you take a shite boy?”
I smirked shaking my head. “No, we have a good ten-mile range I think?” I said looking to Sania for confirmation.
“It’s a little more now, but not too much.”
“Well, it’s a mile at most, so no need to worry. And you can’t be taking these two big fuckers in with you to see the king.”
“As long as they stay close by that will be okay. But Sania will have to come.”
“Why’s that then, lad. You need her approval on your decisions?”
“She’s my partner, but it’s more than that. I do respect her thoughts, more often than my own on many occasions. Despite my appearance, I’m still a stranger in a strange land. If we’re not under arrest, then I’d really rather she was with me.”
“But I see you’re decided. I’ll have to bring more guards in, though. You understand?”
“Not really. You’re level 79. I doubt your king is under that, so I’m assuming he’s a Dweomer? I doubt you’d have trouble with us two.”
“Aye, and that’s the kind of thinking that gets dwarves killed. There isn’t anything to be lost being cautious.”
“Fair enough,” I shrugged seeing his point. “It’s not like we’re gonna cause trouble, anyway. Bring a thousand guards in.”
“Don’t pull my beard. We don’t want that many sweaty dwarves in armor stinking up the place.”
Sania and I followed Grimstrom and two Level 42 guards. While the rest of our group were led off to whatever a Glaeg was. I probably should have asked before we were separated. It sounded quite sinister.
“Hey, Grimstrom, what’s the Glaeg?
“Ah, it’s the quarters all important visitors stay. The rooms are nice. Don’t worry about it.” Grimstrom said waving his hand dismissively.
“I was just curious. Glaeg could have been another word for your pit, for all I knew.
“Ha! No, it’s a nice place. When the wife’s kicking up a storm, I go there myself and pretend I’m working late,” he laughed.
We were led to a large room within the palace where we were surrounded by half a dozen guards. “Okay. Time to get serious for a minute. You can’t be in the presence of the king with weapons, so any you got, we need them.”
“Uhm, I haven’t got any,” I replied.
“Nor me,” Sania said, proudly. “Other than my natural ones.” She made a show of slowly extending her claws.
“You came here without weapons?” he asked disbelieving.
“Well, I can throw a bit of Neuma about. But other than that Its, just K,” I said raising my left fist, “and O,” I said raising my right first.
Both Sania and Grimstrom looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Did you just name your fists, random letters?” Sania asked.
Grimstrom was nodding his head. “I think he did.”
“What! No guys, don’t you know what KO means?”
“No idea,” Grimstrom replied.
“Knockout! It’s a thing from my world, if you knock an opponent unconscious, or close enough that they can’t stand very well then it’s a…” I could tell they’d both lost interest, so I stopped myself from talking further. “I don’t have any weapons hidden anywhere.”
“Oh!” Sania said, looking a little embarrassed. “I actually do! There were some within these robes when we looted them. I haven’t had them that long.” she said and began bringing out the knives, bow and arrows and placing them on the table. “I never carry weapons, so it slipped my mind.”
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Grimstrom nodded appreciatively. “I like you two. You seem a good sort. By the way, those weapons are crap. Apart from the rare bow, perhaps. Anyway, that’s not important. We’ve covered the basics on the way here. Don’t try to murder, rape or steal from the king and you should be okay.
“Can I ask what level the king is?” I asked.
“King Oblitifist is level 98,” Grimstrom said proudly.
“So, forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn here. If I suddenly developed an insatiable sexual attraction to your King, Oblitifist, and decided to ignore my beautiful soul mate here, how exactly, the fuck would I go about raping the king?”
Grimstrom grinned at me. “My job is to make sure, you know the rules and enforce the punishments if crimes are broken, not to give you strategies.”
“I actually have another question,” I said. “If those are the only rules, what would happen to me if I just insulted the king?”
“Depends on what mood he’s in,” Grimstrom shrugged.
“If he’s in a bad mood?”
“He’ll probably kill you.”
“Even though I’m not breaking the law? And wouldn’t that be murder on his behalf?”
“Come on, Clive,” he chuckled. “If you want to insult a level 98 dwarf king in his own house, and not expect him to kill you, then that’s your fault, not his. It won’t be murder because you goaded him into it, so there was just cause.”
“Okay, I’ll try not to piss him off. Is there anything else we need to know, or you need from us?”
“I think that about covers it. Follow me,” he said beckoning us onward past the spiral stair case that went miles into the air above us. Underneath the stairs there were a number of doors and Grimstom led us to one of them that entered into a large oval shaped room. The King was sitting on a throne watching us as we entered clearly expecting our arrival.
It reeked of a similar experience I’d had with Elsbeth and the Mother, which now set my hackles on edge. I turned to Grimstrom. “We’re at the top of the tower aren’t we?”
“Well done. How d’you know?” He whispered.
“I went to see the Mother of Devotion in Laurel. She had a similar setup.”
“You’re well associated aren’t you? Mother of Devotion, Natom Hilgresh, now you’re about to meet King Oblitifist.” He nodded for us to walk forward.
As we approached the king, I looked in awe at his identifier:
King Oblitifist Dweomer level 98
“So, you are the one my god wishes to speak to?” he said. There was an ingrained, angry power to his voice.
“Apparently so,” I shrugged.
“What makes you so important?” He jumped up and stomped over to me, his beard a mix of red and grey. His breath stunk of sour ale.
For whatever reason, this kind of aggressive questioning just triggered me. Just like when I was way outclassed by Dug in Laurel, I puffed my chest up and replied confidently.
“It’s your God. Why don’t you ask him?”
“Oh, like that is it? Wanna keep it secret do ya? I invite you into my home and you wanna play me off against my own God, do ya?”
“Obli. Clive’s alright. Get the grog out, and we’ll have a proper jaw shaker.”
King Oblitifist squinted at Grimstrom through narrow eyes. “You sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
The king clapped his hands loudly and started laughing boisterously. “Sit then! Let’s, do this properly.”
As we took seats at a long dining table off to one side of the throne room, a stream of servants came pouring into the room carrying various platters of food and jugs of sloshing liquid. I didn’t know what any of it was, but it looked and smelled amazing. My larger demonic form had me wanting to eat as much as a Wultr.
King Oblitifist beckoned us to dive in and after a quick sniff from Sania we did so with relish. Once the initial gorge had subsided to a more sedate grazing pace, the conversation and drinking began in earnest.
“So, Clive, isn’t it?” Oblitifist asked.
“It is.”
“What is so special about you? Darkness is notoriously quiet beyond the powers he grants us.”
“Honestly, I’m still not sure. I’m sure you know most of it. I have something in me that’s from Creation and everyone seems to want it. I hope if Darkness is really willing to talk to me, that he’ll tell me more. I also really need him to provide a portal home for my friend.”
“Ha, you want favours from Darkness? You’re barking up the wrong tree. The rest of what you’ve said is what we already knew. I hoped you’d know more. Will you tell me what is said in your discussion?”
“Won’t Darkness?”
The king gave a scornful laugh. “Fifty years since he last spoke. I’m not complaining. He knows my mind better than any. He no doubt already knows I’ll ask this of you.”
“Here’s what I’ll do. As long as it doesn’t cross any boundaries with him or my own, I’ll tell you everything I find out.
“That’s all I can ask. I hope everything works out, Clive. You seem like a sort I could work with, and Darkness knows we’ll need all the help we can get.”
“I got the impression that you were strong and safe?”
“With Justice on our west coast and Destruction on our east? We’re far from safe. And we have plans to deal with them eventually, but it’s not going to be easy.”
“I’ve heard you aren’t fighting or defending Kalabri at all.”
“That’s partially true, but this will be a long war and we’re still in the opening moves. I can’t say too much until you have made your peace with Darkness, but suffice to say…”
Our conversation was interrupted by Grimstrom screeching in pain. A similar situation as when we first met transpired. I could see even King Oblitifist looking worried.
Within a minute, Grimstrom was fine again.
“Time to go, Clive. His Darkness awaits.”
I nodded to the king, exchanging brief platitudes before Grimstrom lead us back through the portal door to the bottom of the tower. I hadn’t thought of it as a portal before, but as soon as the realization hit, questions soon followed. Devotion had a portal door in their fucking temple. I even walked through it. Could Devotion make portals? Had the fuckers lied to me? I feared the answer to that question, but it looked very much like a yes.
In the entrance hall of the palace, Grimstrom gripped my shoulder. “Okay, Clive. This is it. You need to go through that door now,” he said pointing at a door to the left of the one we’d just came through.
“I will wait with Sania until you come back.”
“Sania should come,” I protested.
Grimstom shook his head. “Not this time, lad. No way.”
I wanted to argue, but this time he was far more serious and reverent than when we met the king. I sensed this wasn’t worth the argument. Sania agreed through the bond.
“I think it will be okay, Clive. I’ll be waiting right here. Give a good account of yourself.”
“Okay. I’ll try. You know how it is.”
“I do,” She laughed. “But you will do just fine.”
I left the mental conversation and kissed her. If this went bad, I was at least going out, having kissed her one last time. “Love you wolf lady. Thanks for everything you’ve done for me. I haven’t had anyone support me like you, and it’s made me a much better man.”
I felt joy, pride, embarrassment, and a hint of worry, all mixed together along our bond. “It’s going to be fine Clive,” she replied.
“I’ve gotta go in there either way. But I just wanted you to know. In case it’s not fine.”
She nodded. “Go, before this becomes any more awkward.”
I grinned at her and marched far more confidently than I actually felt to the room where I was expected to speak with a God.
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