You push the button.

Ding.

The wall in front of you is full of buttons. Red buttons. But not round ones. Let’s make that clear. Nope, these red buttons are all squares and triangles.

And

How many buttons are there, I hear no one ask. I will answer! 83!

There are most certainly eighty three buttons on the wall. That isn’t just a random number I pulled out of nowhere. I swear. And be happy that it isn’t a higher number.

So, what do these buttons do?

Let’s find out!

You push the button.

Dong.

Oh wow, that was exciting. You thought it might make a ding, but instead in made a dong.

Wow. Amazing.

You push the button.

Ding.

Huh, this one dings.

You push the button.

Ding.

This one dinged again. Maybe only a few ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

Yep. Only a certain number dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

Aha! Another dong!

Maybe there's a pattern to the dongs, a secret pattern! Let's see! Keep an eye out!

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

Nope, I am detecting no pattern here. Hrm.

You push the button.

Ding.

Is this getting a bit repetitive? Because to me this is feeling a bit repetitive. Maybe I'll add in some adjectives.

Anyways.

You push the button.

Ding.

You truly push the button.

Ding.

You surely push the button.

Ding.

You mournfully push the button.

Ding.

You madly push the button. Like a maniac.

Ding.

You legitimately push the button.

Ding.

You heartily push the button.

Dong.

You genuinely push the button.

Ding.

You assuredly push the button. Yep, that button is pushed.

Ding.

You tremendously push the button.

Dong.

You terribly push the button. A terrible push. You almost missed the button entirely.

Ding.

You sincerely push the button.

Ding.

You painfully push the button.

Ding.

You joyously push the button.

Ding.

You profoundly push the button.

Dong.

You seriously push the button.

Ding.

You severely push the button.

Ding.

You thoroughly push the button.

Ding.

You acutely push the button.

Ding.

You completely push the button.

Ding.

You intensely push the button.

Ding.

You solemnly push the button.

Dong.

You gravely push the button.

Ding.

You greatly push the button.

Ding.

You really push the button.

Ding.

You sadly push the button.

Ding.

You abjectly push the button.

Ding.

You absolutely push the button.

Dong.

You ernestly push the button.

Ding.

You grievously push the button.

Ding.

You grimly push the button.

Ding.

You keenly push the button.

Ding.

You passionately push the button.

Ding.

You powerfully push the button.

Ding.

You sharply push the button.

Ding.

You so push the button. Wait, why is "so" on the list of adjectives? It isn't an adjective, is it?

Huh, apparently is is. Or it can be, at any rate.

Learn something new every day.

Anyways, the button dings.

You sorely push the button.

Dong.

You strongly push the button.

Ding.

You totally push the button.

Ding.

You affectingly push the button.

Dong.

You awfully push the button.

That push was awful.

It still dings, though.

You certainly push the button.

Ding.

You dearly push the button.

Ding.

You desperately push the button.

Ding.

You distressingly push the button.

Dong.

You entirely push the button.

Ding.

You exceedingly push the button.

Ding.

You immensely push the button.

Ding.

You movingly push the third to last button. I am moved to tears.

Ding.

You push the penultimate button.

Ding.

You push the final button.

It dongs, with finality.

Well then.

All the buttons are pushed. Huzzah.

Want to do it again?! Doesn't that sound like fun?! I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like it would be super fun!!

Let's do it!

You push the button.

Dong.

Oh wow, that was exciting. You thought it might make a ding, but instead in made a dong. Again.

Wow. Amazing.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

Aha! Another dong!

Maybe there's a pattern to the dongs, a secret pattern! Let's see! Keep an eye out! Maybe this time we'll see it!

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.

Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.

Harpier cries 'Tis time, 'tis time.

Round about the cauldron go;

In the poison'd entrails throw.

Toad, that under cold stone

Days and nights has thirty-one

Swelter'd venom sleeping got,

Boil thou first i' the charmed pot.

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Fillet of a fenny snake,

In the cauldron boil and bake;

Eye of newt and toe of frog,

Wool of bat and tongue of dog,

Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,

Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,

For a charm of powerful trouble,

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,

Witches' mummy, maw and gulf

Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark,

Root of hemlock digg'd i' the dark,

Liver of blaspheming Jew,

Gall of goat, and slips of yew

Silver'd in the moon's eclipse,

Nose of Turk and Tartar's lips,

Finger of birth-strangled babe

Ditch-deliver'd by a drab,

Make the gruel thick and slab:

Add thereto a tiger's chaudron,

For the ingredients of our cauldron.

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Cool it with a baboon's blood,

Then the charm is firm and good.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

Three Rings for the Elven Lords under the Sky

Seven for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of Stone

Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne

In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

...Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Ding.

You push the button.

Dong.

Nope, I am still detecting no pattern here. Hrm.

You push the button.

Ding.

Is this getting a bit repetitive? Because to me this is feeling a bit repetitive. Again. I'll add in some adjectives. ...Again.

Anyways.

You push the button.

Ding.

You truly push the button.

Ding.

You surely push the button.

Ding.

You mournfully push the button.

Ding.

You madly push the button. Like a maniac.

Ding.

You legitimately push the button.

Ding.

You heartily push the button.

Dong.

You genuinely push the button.

Ding.

You assuredly push the button. Yep, that button is pushed.

Ding.

You tremendously push the button.

Dong.

You terribly push the button. A terrible push. You almost missed the button entirely.

Ding.

You sincerely push the button.

Ding.

You painfully push the button.

Ding.

You joyously push the button.

Ding.

You profoundly push the button.

Dong.

You seriously push the button.

Ding.

You severely push the button.

Ding.

You thoroughly push the button.

Ding.

You acutely push the button.

Ding.

You completely push the button.

Ding.

You intensely push the button.

Ding.

You solemnly push the button.

Dong.

You gravely push the button.

Ding.

You greatly push the button.

Ding.

You really push the button.

Ding.

You sadly push the button.

Ding.

You abjectly push the button.

Ding.

You absolutely push the button.

Dong.

You ernestly push the button.

Ding.

You grievously push the button.

Ding.

You grimly push the button.

Ding.

You keenly push the button.

Ding.

You passionately push the button.

Ding.

You powerfully push the button.

Ding.

You sharply push the button.

Ding.

You so push the button. I'm still not sure if so is an adjective or not, but I'm leaving it in anyways because finding a replacement at this point would require effort. So yeah. You so push.

The button dings.

You sorely push the button.

Dong.

You strongly push the button.

Ding.

You totally push the button.

Ding.

You affectingly push the button.

Dong.

You awfully push the button.

That push was awful.

It still dings, though.

You certainly push the button.

Ding.

You dearly push the button.

Ding.

You desperately push the button.

Ding.

You distressingly push the button.

Dong.

You entirely push the button.

Ding.

You exceedingly push the button.

Ding.

You immensely push the button.

Ding.

You movingly push the third to last button. I am moved to tears.

Ding.

You push the penultimate button.

Ding.

You push the final button.

It dongs, with finality.

Again.

Well, that was fun! Certainly exercised those arm muscles, reaching up so high. And your thighs, bending down to get the ones at the bottom.

Wanna do it again???

You...

I'm not going through all that again.

You push buttons at random.

Dong. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

You know, with only a few more words I can have an even 2k in here.

So yep. Guess what I'm about to do.

Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Dong. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Dong. Ding.

You flee, diving to the round button in the middle of the room.

Ding.