C27 Trash Class

Eddie didn’t open them straight away, he wanted to wait until he got back to base. He wanted to be surrounded in a nice area to receive whatever he was going to receive. He jogged all the way back, occasionally saying: “Gubba gubba poop poo,” to the goblins who were just respawning.

An hour later and fully depleted of all oxygen, he arrived back at his base. There seemed to be even more people outside and he couldn’t imagine how many people were inside. He stopped off at the stall and gave Jimmy the maps, nose blockers and furniture for the rooms without saying anything.

He hurried into his workshop where he found Robo taking a nap and Frank was still cleaning up. The workshop and bedroom looked spotless, which was difficult in a trash dump but Frank could do almost anything.

“Good morning or good evening, Sir,” Frank said. “I’ve prepared a meal for you: Burnt tough goblin meat glazed goblin gun-”

“Not right now, Frank. I think I’m about to get it.”

“The class- oh my, Sir, your level.”

Eddie put his hand up and stopped him. “Don’t spoil it.”

“Of course, Sir.”

Eddie sat down at his workbench and turned back to Frank. “Can I get a drum roll?”

Frank started patting the wall of the trash cave and Eddie’s eye moved down to his notification box.

You have slain 1304x Trash Goblin, Level 4-14!

+6409 EXP (-50% Cowardice Kill)

+3109 Goblin Meat

+312 Goblin Liver

+78 Goblin Eye

+39 Tough Goblin Meat

+39 Silver

+28 Copper

+Bronze Goblinator Statue

+Silver Goblinator Statue

No room in inventory. Loot withheld until opening.

Lol.

The whole room just exploded in goblin meat, covering the walls, Frank, Eddie himself and Robo who was already trying to eat it all. It went everywhere and that everywhere is an understatement. It was in Eddie’s mouth, nose, eyes even, and places where no straight man would like.

“Urm, Sir?” Frank questioned. “I JUST CLEANED THIS WHOLE BLOODY PLACE!!!”

Eddie couldn’t speak, he was just trying not to suffocate. He just managed to think about sending Mira a message.

‘Please. Help. Workshop’

“Send a message to: WaifuGirl07. Please confirm.”

“Uhyeayheashsdehsdahdsdha.”

“Sending message.”

A few minutes later, Mira with her whole team opened the door and goblin meat fell onto them. It was like snow piled up against the door of a house, only in this case, it was disgusting slimy meat.

“Eddie!” she shouted, getting up. “Are you in there?”

“Yagdadhagfafaaasdaygaaaa.”

“Put it all in your inventory, guys. Denzel, go get some more guild members,” she ordered.

The team hurriedly put all the goblin meat in their inventory to try and free up more room but apparently it was no use. More guild members and players rushed to the scene of the accident and started filling their inventories up with goblin meat.

“How much of this stuff is there?” one questioned.

“I just got a ruddy goblin statue.”

“I’ll take that,” Mira said, snatching it out of the person's hand.

It took roughly 30 minutes to remove all the goblin meat and resuscitate Eddie. He gasped for air when Denzel removed 20 goblin meat from his throat. “Thank you guys,” Eddie said with ragged breath.

“What the hell did you do?” Mira questioned. “And where do you want us to put all this meat?”

“I built a trap in Goblin’s Gulch. I didn’t realize it would build up on me.”

“Yeah that happens.”

“Robo!” Eddie shouted for him. “Can you dig a big hole somewhere in the caves?”

“Woof!” Robo barked and bounded for the exit.

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck.

“I have not been surrounded by so much meat since the swinging sixties,” Viktor commented.

“Great, thanks for that,” Eddie said with sarcasm. “Do you have all those special items?” he asked.

“Yeah, here,” Mira said, putting all the goblin eyes, liver and statues down.

Robo came back a few seconds later and Eddie instructed all the players to chuck the meat in. “You guys can keep some for yourself,” he said, much to the dismay of all of them; goblin meat was disgusting to them. “Or you guys can give it to the NPCs.”

After another twenty minutes of sorting everything out, the room was now meat-less, except for the slime covering the entire room. Mira’s team had gone back to sorting out the bar and the rest of the players went back to doing whatever they were doing.

“Frank?” Eddie questioned. His golem was sitting down in a corner with his head held low.

“Sir, please don’t speak to me.”

“Right... Sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I know it wasn’t your fault, Sir, I overreacted.”

“No, Frank, it was my fault. Is there any way I can make it up to you? How about a new body?”

“Really, Sir?”

“Yeah, I’ve now got some new metal and I think I’m about to get the class I’ve always wanted.”

“I’ll get cleaning then, Sir.”

Eddie exhaled. He was about to open the notifications again when he stopped and ran towards the basin. He opened them but thankfully, nothing exploded out. He went back inside and sat down at his work bench. He rolled his shoulders as he looked at them.

You have killed 1000 goblins!

You have been awarded the title: Genocidal Goblin Maniac Murder Hobo

All Goblins have an innate fear of you.

+2% damage to all goblin types.

You have gotten 1000 Cowardice kills!

You have been awarded the title: Coward!

Wow, who would have thought.

Eddie nodded his understanding. The titles were odd to say the least. He grabbed the statues he got and put them on the shelf with the bone sculpture. “Right, now onto the good part.”

You have levelled up! 4→5

You have 2 free stat points to allocate.

You have levelled up! 5→6

You have 2 free stat points to allocate.

Eddie dumped them all into wisdom.

You have been offered the class: Golemancer!

Would you like to accept this class? Yes/No

Well it’s either Golemancer or Paste Eater so I hope you chose this one.

“Of course I pick Golemancer!” Eddie exclaimed at the top of his lungs. He was so excited.

System Message: EDDI3456, you have received an exceptionally powerful class. The requirements for this class are only guidelines, yet you have shown tremendous ability to craft golems with creativity and extreme precision. Additionally, you did it all below level 10. Well done, Eddie, congratulations. From myself and the developers.

Eddie almost welled up in tears. From starting his venture only a week ago, he had explored a dungeon, built Frank and Robo, housed refugees, and made a haven for players to thrive. He really did deserve this class. And no, there’s no going to be any comedy or tricks to this; Eddie had forged his own path in Chronicles Of Fantasy Online with only the Bronze Soldier Bundle that was barely useful. Fireworks went off around him as the message popped up.

You have received the Golemancer class!

You have received the title: Golemancer

Class: Golemancer

A Golemancer is a one in 100 million class. That is factual. Not only may you meet the requirements, but you need to actually be inspired for the class and show skill, intelligence and diligence. You have experienced how powerful the Golemany skill is, but now you will see that the Golemancer class excels the bounds of what people thought was possible in Chronicles Of Fantasy Online. As a Golemancer, you can whisk up an army in no time. Enemies that looked down on you will be beggin beneath your feet for you, are a Golemancer. For every rank your Golemancy profession goes up, you gain control of 1 more golem. You have currently 2 out of 4 golems.

+5 Wisdom

+4 Constitution

+4 Intelligence

+2 Dexterity

+2 Endurance

+2 Luck

Perks

Classes For Thee

Not only can you gain classes but your golems too. However, they are not traditional classes for players. They are permanent bonuses that are set to the golem core. They offer quirks to that golem and the golem’s body. Additionally, a golem may gain skills related to their class.

Eyes and Ears

A Golemancer should have a string of access to all his golems. With this perk, you gain a permanent passive skill to look through the eyes of any golem you are in control of. You can also, if the golem has a vibration crystal inside, speak through the golem and control its body with your own mind. However, in order to fully control a golem, your player character will not be functional at all.

Spells and Skills

SPELL Tier 1 Flash Of Metal

Ever wondered if your golems could just randomly appear in a fight? Well, that is exactly what this spell is about. You are able to teleport 1 golem if it is within a certain distance of you to a certain distance away. Not only will this spell be handy but in later tiers you will be able to do much, much more.

Mana Cost: 50

Activation Distance: 100m

Expel Distance: 30m

Cooldown: 60s

SKILL Tier 1 Golemancer’s Lifeline

All Golemancer’s swear by this skill. Every day, you can repair a golem’s core. Additionally, you can transfer a golem’s personality and skills to another blank personality core. Please be warned, the mana and stamina cost varies; numbers are undetermined. Also, skill merging may occur, be warned. If you do not use this skill for a day, the uses will add up. For instance, if you do not use this skill for a week, you will have 7 uses.

Mana Cost: Undetermined

Stamina Cost: Undetermined

Cooldown: 1 day.

Uses Available: 2

I am amazing, aren't I? But for real, Eddie, nice job.

Eddie grew weak as he slumped to the floor. His heart had been beating out of his chest before he started reading it and now he needed surgery to put it back in. He couldn’t believe it, all his hard work- the grinding, the helping, th-

“I LOVE THIS GAME!” Eddie proclaimed from the floor.

“Sir… Good news?”

Eddie shot up. “Good news?! Frank, this is fantastic. I can transfer you to a better core. I can make another two golems, I can teleport you, I can see what you’re seeing, you can eve gain-

“Oh, Sir. I just got given a class.”

Eddie grinned as a notification popped up for him too.

Your (Frank) Level 8, Trash Golem, has been awarded the Blood Bather Class

Blood Bather:

The Blood Bather class is only for those who are mentally disturbed in society. The sight of blood causes you to feel unstable. The only thing you want to do is bathe in your enemies blood and cause mass devastation to anything that breathes.

Class effects: Depending on how much your body is covered in blood, from 1-100%, you will receive those advantages to your body. For example, if you are 43% covered in blood, your strength, speed, and natural resistance is increased by 43%. WARNING! NEVER GET TO 100%. REACHING 100% BLOOD COVERAGE WILL HAVE DEVASTATING CONSEQUENCES, AND I’M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT GOING TO A NICKELBACK CONCERT!!!

Eddie swallowed slowly, he was worried. “Uh, Frank, are you ok? Like, actually ok?”

Frank seemed over the moon. “Absolutely, Sir, I’m thrilled. Finally, my flaw has become my strength.”

The trashmancer was happy that Frank was happy, although still alarmed- he was glad that Frank had something.

“So if you got a class, then-”

Your (Robo) Level 12, Trash Wolf Golem, has been awarded the Patted Prowler Class!

Patted Prowler:

“Who’s a good boy?”

Class effects: If patted 50 times, you will emit an aura for your team that boosts every friendly regeneration statistic by 5% in a 100m radius.

“Aww, that’s nice,” Eddie said, then giving Robo 50 pats.

You have received a buff. All regeneration stats have been increased by 5%.

“That will be very handy in big fights, Sir.”

“Oh yeah, this Golemancer class is really something special,” Eddie noted. “I want to try out my new spell, wanna come?”

“Absolutely, Sir. I am still wondering how you’ll transfer my core.”

Eddie pouted as he clicked his teeth. He didn’t have another blank core. He had an idea that he could now follow through with the core he got from the giant golem in Hell’s Hole, but he didn’t have one for Frank.

“I could put out a bounty on a new core. Like on one of those boards you see in white middle class neighbourhoods about lost dogs and broken gnomes.”

“A little bit racist, Sir, but yes, you could put one out.”

“Great,” Eddie said. “C’mon, I’m really excited.

The trio swagged out of the trash cave looking fit as a fiddle. Eddie was practically glowing with confidence and prestige.

“I just got a buff!” someone exclaimed as they walked out into the basin.

“Yo, Eddie!” Denzel exclaimed as he was drilling in a door a half built bar.

“What’s up,” Eddie said to him.

“Damn, man, you levelled up quick,” Denzel remarked, getting up.

“I may have killed over 3000 goblins. But guess what I just got?”

“Go on, man.”

Eddie flexed his muscles. “The Golemancer class.”

“No ship? Really, man. That’s awesome. What does it do?”

“Frank and Robo can get classes. You have a buff on you right now.”

“That’s great, what other skills you got?”

“Robo,” Eddie said, bending down to him. “Can you run around the edge of the basin?”

“Woof,” Robo said, taking off. He scuttled up the edge and started doing laps.

“Ready?” Eddie questioned as Mira and the rest of her team came over.

“Robo! Jump across now!” Eddie shouted.

Robo leapt off into the center of the Basin and Eddie shouted: “Flash of Metal!”. A strange space distortion appeared around Robo with a cool warp sound; he disappeared and reappeared on the other side.

Mira looked upset. She herself was a space mage which was a very difficult class to get. Apparently Eddie had just become one. “Eddie?! What was that? You’re a space mage?”

“Space mage?” Eddie questioned. “Nah, girl, I’m a Golemancer.”

“So you eventually got the class? But still, how did you learn space magic?”

Eddie just shrugged. “I just got given it.”

Mira slammed her foot into the ground with jealousy. “That’s so unfair,” she moaned.

Once Robo was back down from the top of the basin, Eddie wanted to try out his new perk. “Hey, Frank, I’m gonna try this new skill on you.”

“Of course, Sir, what does it do? Give me a buff?”

“No,” Eddie answered plainly. “It basically allows me to become you?”

“I don’t follow, Sir.”

“Hold on,” Eddie said. “I’m going to take over your eyesight now… Just relax.”

All Eddie had to do was actually thinking of taking Frank's eyesight and soon his own vision was replaced with Frank’s. It was extremely disorientating. Plus-

“I really need a shower,” Eddie said, watching it come out of his own dirty mouth. “Ah! This is weird! Disconnect! Disconnect!” Eddie’s eyesight switched back to his own and he stumbled a few steps backwards. “Let’s not do that again.”

“Right, Sir,” Frank said. “It was strange, I couldn’t see for a moment. ”

“Yeah, that was weird.”

Eddie noticed Akira coming up to him and he quickly- acted cool. “What’s up?”

“Why are you covered in goblin guts?” she questioned.

“Oh this? New style.”

“...Anyway, we’re going to head to do full scope as a guild tomorrow. One of the guild members who has alchemy as a profession is working on an antidote to the moss and should be ready by tomorrow morning.”

“Alright.”

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Akira said, walking off and talking to Brody and a few other guild members.

Eddie noticed that Mira looked sour. “You guys ok?” he asked.

She sighed with her hands on her hips. “Yeah. We kinda fell out the day she came down. We were drifting apart anyway when we were up above,” Mira explained. “It seems you two are getting along kinda well.”

“We’re mutual,” Eddie stated. “By the way, you don’t like Brody, do you?”

“Ugh, I hate him,” Mira complained. “He’s always talking to Akira and she never spends any time with me, it’s so annoying. That’s the reason why we stopped being so close.”

“Ah,” Eddie mused. “Alright, guys, I have some more golems to build. Oh, fiddlesticks, I keep forgetting I need a new golem core.”

“Oh, a team from our guild explored Hell’s Hole, they think they found the cause to the event.”

Eddie gulped. “Really? Uhh, what was it?”

Mira cocked her head at Eddie’s sudden nervousness. “A machine’s golem core was taken out. They said some had pried it out of there like Gollum.”

“Hahahaha, hahaha, that’s funny.”

“Why is it funny?”

“Oh you know, big Lord Of The Rings fan.”

“Righhhtt. Anyway, they defeated a giant golem and got a core. I’m not sure what grade it is but they said it would sell for a bit.”

“Can I have it?” Eddie eagerly asked.

Mira shrugged. “You’d have to ask them, they won’t give it to you for free.”

“Hmm,” Eddie mused. “I could just cancel all their rooms if they don’t.”

Mira threw her hands on her hips like a disgruntled housewife. She squinted her eyes at Eddie who threw his hands up honestly. “I was thinking,” he protested.

“Whatever, I need to go sort some stuff out.”

“Alright, see you in a bit.”

“Hey man,” Denzel said, lightly slapping Eddie’s chest. “We can come over and help bargain for it if you want, I’m quite an intimidating guy.”

“We all are,” Viktor added. “I have a typical Russian accent so I immediately have an average threat level.”

“¡GRACIAS SEÑOR” Bear exclaimed.

“Bear’s in too,” Denzel explained.

“I’ll get back to cleaning, Sir. Come here boy,” Frank said, dragging Robo back towards Eddie’s workshop, much to Robo’s annoyance. He kept trying to bite Frank’s arm the entire way into the cave.

“Ok, where’s this team?” Eddie questioned.

“Over there, next to the back wall. I’ve never really spoke to them,” Denzel said.

“Same here,” Viktor added. “We should come across nice at first then bite, like anal.”

“What sort of anal do you have?!” Eddie questioned with alarm.

“The kind that involves water.”

“Wha-”

“Let’s just go,” Denzel hurriedly said. “Eddie, you take the lead.”

“But you’re the biggest guy here?”

“I’m the biggest but I ain’t the smartest.”

“Ugh,” Eddie groaned. He hated approaching random people. He also struggled to be friendly and not come across weird. Then again, at this point, he couldn’t care less. So with a drop of courage, he headed over there.

“Hey,” Eddie said, throwing his hand up into a cheesy wave.

“You’re that weird guy, ain’t ya? T-the one who looks funny,” guild member #1 questioned.

“I might be,” Eddie cleared his throat. “I heard you guys found a golem core.”

“Yep, we did alright. And I’m guessing you want it off us?” guild member #2 said.

Eddie nodded. He could already tell they had a plan hatched.

“Thirty gold,” guild member #1 said.

“Thirty gold?!” Denzel screamed, his deep voice shaking fear into the guild members and Eddie. He stormed forward and held the person up by their collar. He did so effortlessly it was scary.

“H-hey, hey, hey, woah. Easy there, big guy, we were just playing around.”

“Do you know what this guy owns?” Denzel asked rhetorically. “This entire place, your room and the ground you’re standing on.”

Eddie was just awkwardly standing there but realised he couldn’t leave other people to fight his battles for him. “I’ll give each of your team 10 days of free rent.”

“Twenty,” guild member #1 bargained, still being held up by the collar.

“Fifteen,” Eddie countered.

“Deal,” guild member #1 said. “Put me down.”

Denzel loosened his grip and the person reached inside their inventory to pull out a glowing golem core. It didn’t look broken which was a huge bonus for Eddie right now. He could save an entire charge of his new skill. The person chucked it over to him and he swiftly caught it.

{Golem Core}

Grade: Uncommon

Durability: 39/52

Mana: 262/262 (5.6 M/s)

Skills (Max 3): 1

Class: Blood Bather

Description: Used to power golems. Has the ability to withhold mana/skills.

Eddie nodded approvingly, it was blank too.

“All good?” Denzel questioned.

“Yep. I’ll sort you guys out your rooms in a bit.”

“Whatever,” guild member #1 said, turning around back to his group. “Asshole.”

Denzel quickly spun around and went to strike the man in the face. His fist stopped an inch away and the person screamed while falling back. Denzel just chuckled. “Pussy.”

“Fudge off!”

They started walking back towards the half-built bar. “Thanks for that,” Eddie said. “I was going to put up a notice somewhere but this solved my problem. Violence really solves a lot of things.”

“Precisely,” Viktor stated. “You point a rifle at someone’s head and all of a sudden they admit they slept with your ex-wife.”

“Yeah, violence is great!” Eddie exclaimed. “Oh, here you guys go,” he said, bringing out another keg of Goblin’s Gunk. “Make sure to share it with everyone.”

“Oh, we won’t,” Denzel half-joked. “That’s the best tasting thing down here.”

Eddie laughed. “Alright, see you guys in a bit.”

The three guys gave him a head nod and Eddie headed back into his workshop, cradling the core like Gollum. He did, though, write down a bounty for the golem core in the entrance way to the basin. More golem cores would never hurt, especially when he could make two more and hopefully dozens more in the future.