《Trashmancer》C34 Sexy Boss Of The Trashy Mossy Forest
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C34 Sexy Boss Of The Trashy Mossy Forest
The group, now a few men down and with two hours left on the antidote, wandered further into the forest. The moss seemed to get more present and an inch thick beneath their feet. Eddie was tempted to remove his shoes because the moss looked so damn nice and moist to stand on. He reminded himself he didn’t want to run away from the druids bare foot and so he kept them on.
“What do you think this boss is going to be?” Viktor asked Mira.
Mira shrugged. “A druid I’m expecting.”
“Yes, I do like these druids,” Viktor remarked.
“They’re monsters though,” Eddie explained.
“Then I will receive a life sentence for monsterality,” Viktor claimed.
“Monstrality?” Eddie innocently questioned.
“Sir, he means intercourse with a monster. I’m guessing the druid.”
“She is kinda hot,” Eddie agreed.
Mira slapped him lightly on the back of the head. “Stop getting influenced by Viktor. The only thing he cares about are his bow, explosives and women.”
“I quite like that,” Eddie half-joked. “At least he knows what he likes.”
“See,” Viktor said. “Men are simple. We like, we dislike.”
“I’ll tell Akira,” Mira said, folding her arms.
“Do it,” Eddie encouraged. “I couldn’t care less at this point.” Eddie was beginning to feel hopeless with Akira. Even as she smiled at him while blocking the view of his arm getting rehealed she always spent so much damn time with Brody. Even up ahead she was laughing as the two walked at the front.
Mira gave him a shoulder hug as they walked. “You know she still likes you, right?”
“I doubt that,” Eddie said in defeat. “It all just feels pointless.”
“Aww, come here,” Viktor said, shoulder hugging Eddie from the side.
“You wanna join in?” Eddie asked Frank.
“I’m fine thank you, Sir.”
The trio broke away and Mira gave him a warm smile. “You know, that’s the first hug I’ve seen Viktor give.”
“Don’t tell lies, Mira,” Viktor stated. “It wasn’t a proper hug. It was a moment of weakness I had for my comrade.”
“It was a hug,” Mira insisted.
“That was not a hug, woman.”
“Don’t call me woman, man.”
“I am not a man, I am Russian.”
As the two argued, it helped Eddie relieve some stress. He didn’t realise how lonely he had been for so long. Mira and her team felt like true friends, they respected him, helped him and most importantly were just there for him. They had met under unusual circumstances and forged a good friendship.
“NO MIRA! I AM RUSSIAN! I AM NOT AN ORDINARY MAN!”
“WELL I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE RUSSIAN, YOU’RE STILL HUMAN!”
Eddie just slowly drifted away and moved to the other side of Frank as the two continued arguing. Their voices were so loud against the silence of the forest. Most people were terrified of both of them so they didn’t tell them to shut up. Except for Akira, of course.
“SHUT UP!” Akira shouted back. “We’re near the centre!”
The two immediately went quiet, but that was interrupted by Bear.
“I WANT TO WATCH SHREK IN MY FURSUIT AND EAT PICKLES FROM A CAMEL'S BACK!” Bear exclaimed.
“What did he say?” Eddie asked Frank.
“He says that he wants to watch shrek in his fursuit and eat pickles from a camel’s back, Sir.”
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“No, he didn’t.”
“Oh, he did,” Mira agreed. “Sometimes Bear means the things he says. Other times it just goes into nonsense.”
“What? I’m so confused.”
Mira shrugged. “The more you question it the worse it gets.”
“Did anything happen to him? I know I might be stepping over a boundary by asking that.”
Mira chuckled to herself. “Well, I’ve known Bear all my life since we’re close family. He was really quiet in school, never spoke to anyone and never made friends. When he was eleven he said his first words.”
“Go on?”
“He said ‘THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND FARTED IN MY FACE’”
“Kinky,” Eddie commented. “And that’s it?”
“Pretty much,” Mira said with a shrug. “Bear’s actually really nice, he’s great with kids.”
Eddie gulped. He meant no offence to Bear, but he wouldn’t leave his kids if he had them with him. “How is he good with kids?”
“Well, we have a lot of family and Bear always takes care of them. He doesn’t speak though but even when he does the kids find it funny.”
“Bear seems like a gentleman,” Frank added.
Bear was a mystery to most when glanced on at the surface, but there appeared to be more than to the man who yelled random nonsense.
“We’re nearing the centre!” Akira shouted. “Keep focus and point anything out.”
“Yes, Guild Master!”
The trees started to get taller and thicker, and the canopy was extended far above. However, it was no longer dark and small fireflies illuminated everything like a night sky. Eddie almost forgot he was in a trash dump for a moment; it looked beautiful.
“I thought this was meant to be scary,” Viktor scoffed. “It is all pretty and cute- disgusting.”
“Eh, I like it,” Mira chimed.
The trees started to get more crowded as they got closer and closer to the centre. There was a dense atmosphere of death with each step they took. It was no less to say the guild was nervous. Even high ranked players like themselves would struggle against a raid boss of their level or higher.
Akira stopped dead and everyone else followed. She was wondering if it was an open raid boss. That would mean that anyone could attack it. Even two hundred or so people. Unlike The Sculptor, it was an enclosed room where a maximum of 50 people could enter. Whereas whatever this raid boss was, it was open. There was no thick layer of trees or a large dome and they were basically the center. The guild soon caught on too.
“Field raid boss,” she said.
“Ah, for fudge sake,” Mira complained.
“Field raid boss?” Eddie asked.
“Open raid boss, anyone can do it. Like world bosses but a little bit less hard.”
Eddie gulped. “World bosses? What does this mean?”
“It’s incredibly hard to kill with only 50 of us. Basically, we can leave the boss fight whenever and nothing bad would happen. It sounds nice but then the raid boss would be even harder. It also scales to the amount of people attacking it. But more is always better.”
Eddie breathed out a calming breath as he gave Frank a side look. “Be prepared to run, Frank.”
“Of course, Sir. Worse comes to worst you can always fit us inside your inventory.”
“No, Frank, I can only fit two of you in. You and Robo or Grabby and Robo.”
“That is a pity,” Frank said. “Lady Mira, did you say we can leave whenever we want to?”
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“Kinda. You’ll need to get through something though.”
“Sir, it will work, don’t work.”
“Yeah, you’re right, Frank, I should stop being a pessimist.”
As Akira took the guild past a tree, they started hearing a gentle hum from up ahead. It was soft and high pitched which only made it eerier.
“I hope she’s hot,” Viktor said.
“Viktor, will you shut up,” Mira cursed. “For god sake, I’m going to edit you out completely.”
The guild opened out into a large open area with three trees in a triangle around a soft yellow glow. They approached cautiously, and it revealed a tall woman. She was roughly eight feet and wearing only a thin green costume made out of the moss. It hugged a curvy figure and uplifted her boobs-
“Nice,” Viktor said.
“Nice,” Eddie said.
“Nice,” Denzel said.
“I WANT TO EAT GRANOLA FROM HER EARLOBES!!!”
It was humming a lovely song and didn’t seem to pay attention to them. Her white hair flowed down to the moss covered ground and was loosely affected by gravity. In her hands was the moss and as she hummed to it, it started to grow.
RAID BOSS
DRUID MOTHER
Elder Grand Druid, Level 31
Mother Of Druids
Whisperer Of Trees
Protector Of Nature
Akira looked back at Eddie, instructing him to the front. “Eddie,” she whispered, “can you talk to it again?”
Eddie gulped. “She’s waayyy out of my league, Akira.”
Akira gave him a death stare and he reluctantly headed to the front, the guild members parting out of his way and also patting him on the back for good luck.
“What do you want me to say?” Eddie whispered.
“Try to get information out of it.”
“What? Do you want me to ask it on a date, ask how’s life treating it?”
“I can hear you,” the raid boss said. It’s voice was soft spoken and it didn’t sound like a monster.
Eddie cleared his throat as he made sure his hair was alright. “Uh, hey,” Eddie said with a cool head nod.
“Hello, human.”
“What’s a girl like you doing-” Akira elbowed him. “I mean, how are you?”
“How am I? I’m well thank you, human, what brings you to this place?”
“I’m looking for a T2 relic, have you got one?”
Mira was snickering in the back as she recorded the entire thing.
“Perhaps,” she said, kissing the moss in her hands. It dropped to the ground and it started to grow out thicker. “What can I receive in return?”
“How about a date with me? I know a great place in Goblin’s Gulch.”
She suddenly swam in the air over to Eddie, her hair leaving a sparkly trace. She laid on her side, giving Eddie an amazing view of her cleavage. He kept eye contact and held his smouldering gaze.
“Such a charismatic man,” she said, looking into his eyes.
Eddie winked as he clicked his teeth. “Do you like seafood?”
The raid boss giggled as she extended a large finger under his chin. She lifted it up, seeing his chiseled jawline. It wasn’t actually his jawline but the dirt on his face gave the illusion of it. “My, my, what a handsome man you are. And yes, I do like seafood.”
“Great,” Eddie said with a smile.
“How tall are you?”
Oh no, Eddie was only a mere five feet and eight inches, his only negative feature.
“Six one,” Eddie lied, without breaking his cool persona.
Akira buried her hands into her face as she rethought her whole life.
“Wow- wait-” she summoned a tape measure from thin air and dropped it down by her feet. Eddie tried his best to shoot himself up without making it obvious. Sweat dripped down his face as her eyes landed on the measurement. “LIAR!!!” she screamed.
“Hey! I didn’t ask about your weight!” Eddie shouted with a shake of his fist.
“I’ve had enough!” Akria shouted, summoning a fireball in her hands. The druid hissed as it put its hands up to block it. “KILL IT!”
You have been rejected by Elder Grand Druid, Level 31.
Good try though.
“Aww, that sucks,” Eddie said. He was yanked away a split second later by Frank.
The druid reeled up into the air, schreeking and causing her beautiful skin to fall off her face to reveal an old woman made partially out of wood. Eddie shivered. “It’s like that meme, you know, when you meet her for the first time and then wake up next to her.”
“EDDIE!!!” Akira screamed. “FOCUS!”
“Sorry.”
The druid circled back to the three trees she was surrounded by before and a giant healthbar took up Eddie’s HUD; it was separated into three parts meaning she had three different stages.
A yellow ball of light started to grow in her chest and she started to chant along with it.
“Behind the trees!” Brody commanded as he realised what was happening.
Eddie ran with the rest of the guild behind the three trees as the glowing ball of light grew brighter. Eventually, it exploded, scorching the moss that wasn’t behind the trees.
“Engage!” Akira commanded.
The guild emerged from behind the trees and let loose skills and spells upon it. The health was much larger than Sculptors. Eddie could already feel the difference between the two. The raid boss reeled back and summoned thorned spears from moss beneath her. There were dozens of them and they could easily take out half of someone’s health bar. The raid boss started firing yellow balls of magic that Eddie had no clue what they did. People took damage when hit by them and they backed away instantly from the fight.
Eddie was standing at the back, firing pieces of trash. He summoned a half broken spear and fired it at the woman. It dealt the maximum damage his spell could possibly do and the boss summoned a ball of yellow magic and fired it towards him. He didn’t have time to summon his wall and his health bar dropped to 10%.
“G’day mate,” Grabby said to him, blocking more attacks from the raid boss.
Eddie’s vision had gone completely white and he stumbled around.
You are blinded.
Eddie reached inside his inventory and pulled out an alementy acid and downed it. The poison tasted lovely and he sucked the bottle dry. His stats started to increase their regeneration speed and his eyesight returned to him. He held his woggle staff high in the air and started summoning more pieces of trash towards the boss.
It was nearing the next stage and the group had already lost a couple members. As the health ticked onto the last point, the raid boss started generating the ball of yellow light.
“Behind the trees!” Akira commanded.
Everyone ran for the trees but they suddenly shook, and then moved.
Elder Ent, Level 29
Elder Ent, Level 29
Elder Ent, Level 29
“Fudge!” Akira cursed. “Keep behind them.”
The trees started to grow faces and the twigs grew into arms. Although they were big, they were twice as slow. The guild had to constantly dodge their attacks while keeping behind them to avoid the blast that was charging.
A few were knocked out by them, causing them to then be evaporated by the druid’s attack.
“We lost four more!” Akira shouted.
The second stage was now full in effect. Not only was the raid boss attacking, but they had three ents on their asses too.
“Don’t kill the ents!” Akira shouted. “We need them!”
“Robo!” Eddie shouted. “Kite them!”
“Woof!” Robo barked as he clawed at one. He ran over to the other two dealing heavy damage to attract their attention.
“Focus on the boss!” Akira ordered.
It was difficult for Robo to keep track of them all and his body sustained some damages. Eddie was monitoring his durability the entire time and watched as it ticked down. At this point, he was ready to pull out. But he knew he couldn’t, he needed the tier 2 relic and focused back to fire on the boss.
“Keep at it!” Akira shouted. “Her hair is her weak point!”
“And her tits too!” Viktor added, which they genuinely were.
Frank and Grabby were heavily involved too; Grabby was stationary and offered a haven for the blinding light attacks that the mages hid behind. Frank was weaving between the boss and stabbing her repeatedly with his new spear.
Eddie got an alert from the system that Robo was taking severe damage. “Akira! We need to kill the ents, or two of them at least!”
“Fine! Split fire!” she ordered.
Eddie turned with the rest of the mages and focused fire towards the ents. Denzel and Bear also came up and started attacking them. They were nearing the final stage of the boss fight and the guild was looking ragged. Their forces were split and everyone was low on health and mana.
As the third stage activated, the moss on the floor started growing exponentially, slowing the speed of all the players but also offering cover to hide behind. The boss started its special attack again but this time the charge was faster and they all ducked behind cover quickly.
“Kill the ents! We don’t need them anymore!”
Everyone tried to focus the ents, but the boss kept releasing her special attacks and forcing the players to duck for cover. Those who couldn't were evaporated and killed instantly. The numbers started dropping fast and soon it was no longer an organised fight but a fustercluck of spells and death.
Eddie’s breathing was ragged as he hid behind cover and kept shooting off random pieces of trash towards the boss and ents; he didn’t know which to focus or target. The ents' health pools were large and so it was difficult to kill them. They were more of a nuisance in the boss fight rather than the actual enemies.
Brody was the first of the leaders to go, followed by Mira. They were struggling intensely and were trying to control the frantic guild members. “We need to leave!” Eddie shouted at her.
Akira was conflicted, she hated retreating but it seemed like the only option. “Retreat!” she bellowed.
Everyone started running away and Eddie commanded his golems to. Grabby was slow, and was at a quarter of their speed. “Frank!” Eddie shouted. “You run! I’ll get Grabby and Robo!”
Frank wanted to stay to help his master but he couldn’t disobey him. He started running with the rest of the guild. The raid boss chased after them, constantly expelling her special skill. Even though there were trees for them to hide behind in the forest, her attacks were so fast, people began dropping like flies. Frank was faster than most humans and his long metal legs carried him deep into the forest along with some others with skills.
Eddie had been left behind to hide behind the moss. All Robo could do was run around as Grabby headed for Eddie. The trashmancer pulled open his chest piece and yanked the core out. He thrusted it inside his inventory and did the same with Grabby.
“Robo!” Eddie commanded, whistling after. “Loop them around!”
“Woof!” Robo shouted. His body was heavily damaged and the trash metal on his body was dented, making him struggle to run fast. But the good boy did it anyway and skidded back in front of Eddie. He flipped him up on his back and hurriedly took off the metal chest piece. He did the same thing he did with Grabby with Robo and his entire inventory was now full.
Eddie only had time to look up at the three giant ents before they brought their fists above him and slammed them down. In that small millisecond before his head turned to mush, he prayed that Frank would get out alright. He wouldn’t know what to do if Frank was hurt.
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