The Chosen One thumped his head against the stone door a few more times, before seeming to tire of that passtime. Abruptly, he straightened up and marched down the street to the next storefront. He tried to open that door, only for a scroll to drop out of a letterbox-style slot in the middle of the door.

“If this store you seek to- oh forget this!” he closed his hand over the scroll, causing it to vanish. “Does every shop in this [snacky] place have some kind of puzzle just to get in?”

Qube looked at the stores lining the main street. Each of them had either metal or stone signs etched over the door, and each of them had what looked like some kind of riddle dispensing mechanism.

Every store, that is, except for one very familiar-looking store. The beaten wooden sign boasting vials, hearts, and carrots, with that distinctive scent of inhumane returns prices and a village-wide monopoly.

“It’s Mr. Igma!” Qube had never thought she would be so happy to see his shop. She surged towards the open door, and stood in the doorway, beaming as she saw the same scarred counter, the same scowl, and the same looks of loathing for anyone who would dare come into his shops and have the hubris to actually attempt to purchase his goods.

But all the fake letter writing had given Qube an idea.

“Chosen One, can you ask Mr. Igma to give Mr. Clockwork a letter to take back to the village when he comes to restock? Assuming that Mr. Clockwork comes here as well. And that this is actually Mr. Igma, and not a brother or some such.”

The Chosen One looked distinctly uneasy. Qube hurried to reassure him.

“Chosen One, we’ve completed two temples now! There’s no need to be intimidated by Mr. Igma!” Even as she said that, Qube felt Mr. Igma’s glance passed over her and, even knowing he couldn’t see her, she felt an icy chill. “Or, well, less need,” she corrected herself.

It was at that point Sexy Screamy Spider Lady squeezed herself into the shop, and everything went flying.

---

In a way, it was probably a good thing that they’d been kicked out of Mr. Igma’s shop, Qube reasoned. She hadn’t had the chance to actually write a letter yet, and she wasn’t a hundred percent confident that Mr. Igma had agreed to the Chosen One and her taking everything from his store and then selling it back to him the last few times they saw him. Even though Mr. Clockwork restocked Mr. Igma’s goods and coins each night, she wasn’t sure what the long-term impacts of repeatedly stripping a shopkeeper of everything they owned was. Not good, she suspected.

Still, she would start writing a letter when she had a free moment, and in a couple of days she should be able to have a line or two letting everyone know they were healthy, happy, and well on their way to saving the entire known world.

Meanwhile, the Chosen One was kicking one of the store doors. From the faraway look in his eyes, it didn’t seem to be out of any particular rage, more that he’d been kicking it and then gotten distracted with a particularly interesting thought.

Sewer Bard was attempting to soothe a very huffy Sexy Screamy Spider Lady.

“Twice! Twice now that-that-brute has dared insult our glorious leader. This time he actually had the audacity to imply that I needed to be controlled!”

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was pacing back and forth, her abdomen scraping along the sidewalks and her shiny red heels puncturing tiny holes in the street with the force of her stomping. And when someone with four legs stomped, you knew about it.

“My fairest forest dweller, he was clearly overcome with shyness at your beauty,” Sewer Bard said in his most soothing of baritones. “Your wild, untamed nature would be an intimidating force for the most stalwart of creatures, nevermind a mere shopkeeper.”

Qube instinctively cringed and glanced over her shoulder to make sure that Mr. Igma hadn’t overheard that near death wish-esque statement. Nothing stirred from the darkness within the store.

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady seemed to be calmed by this incredibly dangerous statement. She, and her childrens’ faces, gave heaving sighs, and she gave Sewer Bard a fang-filled smile.

“You’re right, of course,” she said, running some claws down her thorax. “It’s difficult to remember that I can be just too much of a woman for some smaller-minded folk to handle.”

Qube started inching away from the pair. Invisible or not, she just felt more comfortable with a bit more distance between her and the people badmouthing Mr. Igma.

“Thank you, my darling,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady peeked through her many eyelashes at Sewer Bard. “If my heart did not already belong to another, then a girl could be in real danger.”

For some reason Sewer Bard didn’t look pleased by that statement. Qube couldn’t imagine why. Surely his romantic nature would be moved by such a proclamation? Or maybe…

Qube gasped.

Could it be that Sewer Bard had fallen for Sexy Screamy Spider Lady’s beautiful spirit? Thus meaning her declaration that she had feelings for someone else was a very personal wound?

But who could Sexy Screamy Spider Lady possibly have developed feelings for?

This was a mystery that Qube would have to investigate! Perhaps even… a relationship riddle?

Qube may have become mildly addicted to puzzles.

---

Meanwhile, the Chosen One, ignoring the potentially explosive conversation between some of his party members, abruptly stopped kicking the store door.

“Sewer Bard,” he snapped. “Get over here.” Sewer Bard jumped, and ran over to the Chosen One. “Pick this lock,” the Hero ordered.

“It would be an honour, Noble Patron,” Sewer Bard said with a low bow. The Bard crouched by the door, looked at the door handle and lock, then immediately stood back up again.

“I cannot pick this lock,” he triumphantly announced. Sewer Bard paused for a beat, then knelt before the lock again. “Wait,” he said, peering into the keyhole, “why can’t I pick this lock at all?”

“Perhaps there is some kind of magical ward, which you would be unable to see,” Definitely Bad Guy raised an eyebrow as he spoke. “I would not expect you to be able to overcome anything arcane. Such mysterious things are far outside the realm of a mere bard.”

Sewer Bard glared up at Definitely Bad Guy from his knees.

“Of course I can deal with magical wards,” he snapped. “Most locks will have some mild magical protection; it’s to be expected. But this lock, if it does indeed have magical protection, is far beyond what I would expect to see in such a small town. It is totally and utterly beyond my ability.”

“Out of my way. I shall soon determine if there is any kind of ward here,” Definitely Bad Guy stepped up to the lock, forcing Sewer Bard to slide across the street. Definitely Bad Guy placed his palm flat against the store door and concentrated. A pulse of mana flared, and he opened his now blood-red eyes to examine the lock and frame.

There was a moment of silence before he turned to the group.

“There is no magical protection here, just incompetence in the bard — “ he started to sneer, before his still-enhanced gaze passed over Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. His hand fell away from the door and he took a step towards her, the throbbing veins in his eyes expanding.

“That is a very interesting curse you have there,” he said, and Qube stiffened as she recognised his expression. It was the same look the Chosen One got sometimes, when she did something particularly unexpected or competent.

It was the same intense-yet-detached look Definitely Bad Guy had displayed just before he tried to plunge a dagger into her.

That was before they had properly met, though! Back when he was still trying to figure out how to overcome her curse! By throwing flour on her, shoving her, trying to fireball her, and then attempting to stab her a bunch.

Now that she thought about it, she really was able to see why Sewer Bard was still so unconvinced that Definitely Bad Guy was Good. Even though Sewer Bard hadn’t been there, if that was how Definitely Bad Guy had been helping other people in the Wizard Tower with their curses, it would be very easy to misunderstand him.

But that intense expression, that concentration, that was because he wanted to understand curses, and help people! Did this mean that the Chosen One was trying to understand her, every time he looked at her like that?

The tattoos on the Mage’s chest seemed to absorb the light as he approached Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, who seemed unsure if she should preen or panic.

“Oh, yes, I suspect there are still trace amounts of the curse around me,” she smirked, her confident aura rather undermined by twin daggers suddenly appeared next to her claws. “It seems even spells can be clingy, if you know what I mean.” She tossed her head, her long, thick hair jittering as it caught in her fur. “It’s not that I blame them, you understand, but a girl needs her space.”

Her daggers wove a pattern in front of her. Definitely Bad Guy, being a clever man, took the hint and stopped approaching. His eyes returned to normal.

“Of course,” he said smoothly. “Still, if you would permit, I would be interested to examine these… traces, later on. Much could be learned from it.” Definitely Bad Guy looked at the Chosen One, who was watching them with keen interest. “Would that be acceptable?”

The Chosen One rubbed his chin as he looked at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, still holding her weapons, and Definitely Bad Guy, whose dark red mana still clung to him in wisps. The Hero hummed thoughtfully.

“You didn’t even come close to aggro-ing, but she still pulled knives — “

“Chosen One, those are daggers,” Qube corrected helpfully.

“— and you noticed her glitch,” the Chosen One continued, ignoring his Companion’s wisdom.

“Knives and daggers are actually quite different,” Qube added.

“Maybe I should have done those tests with all of you,” the Chosen One stared into nothingness for a moment.

“One is for cutting, the other for stabbing. If you were to try stabbing with a knife, it —”

The Chosen One clapped his hands together loudly, making Qube jump.

“Congratulations!” he declared to the party. “You have each been given a very important quest! Quests that I can’t be bothered — uh, I mean, that I can’t do on my own! So I am letting you do them! I’m sub-letting quests, if you will!”

“Of course, we would all be honoured to help you, Chosen One!” Qube nearly squeaked in pleasure, all thoughts completely diverted to this new mission. Their party cohesion was stronger than ever! There was nothing they couldn’t achieve, as long as they worked together! She felt a warm glow within her, silver and gold, at the thought of being directly asked to help the Chosen One with a quest.

The Chosen One dramatically swept his arm, indicating the main street.

“There are many stores here in this stupid riddle town,” he proclaimed. “I need to get into them, so I can get the best stuff. So I can,” he paused, “save the world. Yes. That is the only reason. So, really, it’s a crime that they are delaying me. Us. Or should be a crime, anyway.”

Qube looked at the others to see how they were taking it. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady had gone back to bouncing from her various legs in place, Definitely Bad Guy was idly playing with fire, and Sewer Bard… was watching the Chosen One, a small wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“So, here are your quests!” the Chosen One said, pointing at his small audience. “Each of you solve one of the puzzles to get into the store! You, take that one,” he pointed at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady, then gestured to the store with armour drawn above it. “You, that one.” Here, he sent Definitely Bad Guy to the store with a scroll above it. “You, that one over there.” Sewer Bard went back to the first store.

“And you,” the Chosen One said to Qube, “can solve this one right here.” The Chosen One winked at Qube, like they were sharing a joke. “This time, I’d like to see how you break the system.”

Qube beamed as the party members scattered. A tiny part of her hoped the others would need her help solving the riddles, just so she could do some more.

Maybe, she thought as she took the scroll from the Chosen One and unfurled it, once she finished her TIMES research, she could become some kind of puzzle professor. Someone who helped others learn how to solve particularly difficult riddles, or needed guidance in completing any new Temple puzzles that might pop up.

Or maybe she could start making her own puzzles, for other people to solve! So she could help them become better at mastering riddles!

Qube the Riddle Master. Yes. She liked the sound of that.