It took a fair amount of time for the Chosen One to get the rest of the party to stop telling him which spell was best for him, and start theorising on what was best for them.

Sewer Bard was the first to really get it.

“If two others is what you require, then my preference would be to acquire... the spell of the potion vial,” he said. He seemed oddly pleased with his rhyme.

“I would be able to put the spell to much better use,” Definitely Bad Guy interrupted scathingly. “You wouldn’t be able to cast any offensive magic.”

“You are wrong,” Sewer Bard replied with uncharacteristic calm.

“Well, if it were what I wanted,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady pondered, ignoring the two men glaring at each other. “It would be to give my abilities a little more bite.”

“My sweet Hunter, you could slay the enemy with but a flash of your eyes,” Sewer Bard abruptly abandoned his argument with Definitely Bad Guy to turn to Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and lay a hand over his chest. “As you slay my own heart with every flash of your eyes.”

The arachnid shot him a provocative look through all her eyes. Even the children’s screaming faces stitched to her sides tried to smoulder. They weren’t very successful; they just looked like they needed to use the bathroom.

Did … did they need to use the bathroom, Qube wondered. Or even eat? They seemed to reflect how Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was feeling at all times rather than independent beings, so they were probably just incorporated into her ecosystem and didn’t need any individual sustenance. Like limbs. Either way, it was clearly a private bodily function that was none of her business!

Qube found life much less stressful when she didn’t try to figure out the biology of her friend.

“Your heart is not a target of mine, although I’ll collect it anyway,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady continued to flirt with Sewer Bard. At least, that’s what Qube assumed she was doing, given how pleased Sewer Bard seemed by her response.

The Chosen One had sat down on one of the benches in the arena, his head in his hands.

“Why did I ask?” he muttered to himself. “It’s been half an hour of nonsense… Why did I ever ask?”

“I think you did the right thing!” Qube chirruped, sitting next to him.

“You always think that,” the Chosen One replied dismissively.

“Oh, no, you do lots of things wrong,” she replied, causing him to rock back and stare at her. “That’s why you need me! To help you do the right thing!”

“So should I let them play this out, or just make a choice, or ask you to make a choice, or what?” he asked, watching her with interest.

Qube pondered this deeply.

“I think you let them make the choice,” she decided, and nodded emphatically. “Then, if it’s the wrong choice, you just tell them why it’s wrong. That way they’ll know you respect them!”

“Is that how you show respect?” the Chosen One mused.

“More so than asking their opinions and then not letting them make a decision,” Qube replied with surprising firmness. The Chosen One, after watching her for a beat or two longer than was strictly comfortable, nodded.

“Okay. Hey, you lot,” he said to the rest of the still-debating group. Or, well, to the now competitively flirting couple, an increasingly angry Mage, and Squiggles, who was happily running around them all in circles. “You’ve got ten minutes to make a decision. We’ve got a world to save!”

Qube suppressed the urge to wonder where this urgency had been when he’d decided to open every barrel of fish in the fishing village. Or go to every single shop. Or build things out of arrows. While there was a possibility there were shades of deeper importance to those particular deeds, she suspected that their sudden urgency was because the Chosen One was bored. She could see similar looks of disbelief cross her friends’ faces.

Or maybe it was because she had wasted so much time debating with the lion, an insidious part of her mind whispered. If she’d been better, they wouldn’t be so behind schedule.

“I’d also like to see how the lion is doing,” she added out loud. “Make sure he is doing well and the others haven’t hurt him somehow.”

This seemed to do the trick. The others all nodded their agreement, before plunging into actual strategy discussion.

“We have decided, Noble Patron,” Sewer Bard said, stepping in front of the other two. “We have decided that our Fair Healer shall have the potion vial, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady to take the sword, and yourself to have the carrot.”

Qube‘s first response was of elation — she was going to get another spell! But then reality set in.

“No, Sewer Bard, I think you should get the spell,” she said reluctantly. “I should focus on using the spells I have; I wouldn’t want to risk getting a spell that requires too much mana.” It left a bitter taste in her mouth to accept that she might not have the mana pool to cast whatever spell was in the Bestowal pedestal, but ignoring facts wouldn’t help anyone. Until she could sort out what was going wrong with her mana pool, Sewer Bard was the only other member of the party who could magically support them.

“And later on, you can teach it to me! Assuming it’s not a curse or some such,” she added hurriedly.

“Yes, can’t let you sully our dear innocent, now can we?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said in a tone that made it clear it would be a while before she forgave the Bard that particular remark. Definitely Bad Guy was doing the grown man equivalent of pouting, which was, in fact, just plain pouting.

“I only agreed to give up my claim to the spell on the grounds that she was able to —” he started, only to be cut off by the Chosen One.

“Come on, no more fighting, you’ll make our morality pet here sad!” he said, putting his hand on Qube’s shoulder. “The fact that you lot were able to come up with any kind of coherent reasoning was either impressive or terrifying. Or both! Quite frequently it’s both!” He paused for a second. “Increasingly it’s both,” he said, almost to himself. He shook himself slightly.

“All right! Line up, line up, on the count of three — which means when I say three! —” the others scrambled into position. “Okay one, two, three, go!”

Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady snatched at their pedestals, shuddering as the spells were carved into them. The Chosen One, as always, seemed to cope with it the best.

“[Attack Boost],” he said, pulling out his Sacred Sword. “Hyah!” he cried, suddenly swinging the sword lightning fast. He staggered, ending the effect. “That’s nuts,” he admired, after he rebalanced himself.

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Sewer Bard looked at each other as their spells settled in. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady quirked some eyebrows. Sure enough, after a few seconds…

“What did you two get?” the Chosen One bluntly asked.

“[Increased Penetration],” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said in a calm tone. Sewer Bard stifled a reaction. Qube saw one of the Hunter’s fangs cheekily peek out.

“I acquired [Lesser Mass Heal],” Sewer Bard said in a slightly strangled voice. Qube hid a wince.

“Cool,” the Chosen One said, as the pedestals dissolved away into a stormy doorway. “Let’s go see how things are outside.”

---

Outside was total and utter chaos. As the party teleported in through the portal, both the griffins and the Flitter Folk were talking at the tops of their voices just outside the Flitter Folk’s nest.

“Our child! He returned! True form!” the Flitter Folk chirped and squawked as they bounced back and forth.

“We are glad to see that this once defective beast has seen the error of his ways, and returned to glory,” the leader of the griffins was saying.

“Our son! Protect us! Kill cats!” the Flitter Folk leader retaliated.

“Our offspring shall earn our affection by harvesting our food bowl for us,” the leader snarled.

In between the two groups sat the lion, looking rather stunned. He looked up as the group arrived, and gave them a rather puzzled smile in greeting.

He still looked like a lion to Qube.

“Our son! Protect us!” the diminutive leader insisted.

“Our offspring shall bring us honour,” the griffin sneered.

The lion looked directly at Qube. “What did you do?” he whispered.

The Chosen One was looking at the lion, understanding dawning in his eyes. “Hey, lion,” he said in a quiet undertone. “See that hole over there?” he pointed to one of the entrances to the mountain, a small, round hole only just big enough for a Flitter Folk to fit through. “Go fly through it.”

“Chosen One, I don’t think —” Qube started, only to have him hush her.

“No, trust me. I think I know what happened.”

“I cannot fly,” the lion replied morosely.

“You can,” the Chosen One replied with near-absolute certainty. “Try it. Look, I’ll make you a deal. If you can fly, you can fit through that hole. Okay?”

The lion, now looking even more confused than ever, jumped off the ground and flew.

He flew! Straight up, sure, and then zoomed directly to the hole that was far too small for him and then —

— he fit right through it. One minute there was a lion on one side, the next he was gone. Qube’s eyes watered as she tried to unravel what had just happened. Then —

— he flew back out of the hole. He raced around the sky, his body in the same streamlined form that he’d used to zip around the arena, and he was laughing, laughing at the sheer joy of flying, his body spinning as he flipped onto his back, warming his belly in the sunlight, non-existent wings scooping up white fluffy clouds as he gently returned to the ground.

He ran to the Chosen One and reared up, throwing his massive paws onto the man’s shoulders. The Hero buckled under the sudden weight. The lion licked him, covering his whole face in saliva, before bounding over the Qube. She braced herself, but was bowled over as the lion tumbled her to the ground, rubbing his face with hers and purring madly.

“Thank you,” he rasped, as she giggled from his tickling whiskers. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

He galloped back to his two families, his tail whirling like a windmill, as the two clans continued to order him to kill the other side. There had to be some way she could stop them from fighting with each other!

As Qube was helped to her feet by the others, however, she realised something about the two arguing groups.

Both of them were calling their lion one of their own.

Sure, it was with the intent of getting him to kill the other side, but it meant that, even though he still had the same physical appearance as before, they accepted him as a member of their family. She didn’t know why — maybe it was because he could fly now, or they had somehow come to their senses about his abilities, or who even knows what — the important thing was that they accepted him. Wholeheartedly, without her even needing to say anything, or the Chosen One to threaten them.

Qube, overcome with emotion, clasped her hands over her heart.

“Oh Chosen One,” she said, her voice quivering with emotion. “It’s so beautiful! They’ve taken him back!”

The Chosen One looked at her out of the side of his eyes.

“Is that… is that what you think is happening here?” he asked her.

“Sure, it’ll take them a little while to overcome their differences, but look! Both sides are claiming him as their child! Oh I just knew that he didn’t need to change for them to love him!”

“I mean, he did change a bit,” the Chosen One pointed out.

“The flying, yes, that was a minor change,” Qube conceded. “But his fundamental self was in no way affected.”

“And the fitting through the hole stuff?” the Chosen One asked, mildly curious.

“I would like to know how you figured that out,” Qube admitted. “But I suspect it had to do with him having always had the heart of a Flitter Folk.”

“Yup, that’s it,” the Chosen One said in a stifled tone. “That’s exactly it. Mystery solved. Okay. Time to go get our reward and not think about this any more.”

As they approached the two sides Qube could already see the lion trying to reconcile them to each other. He was already healing the breach between them! she thought with pride.

“Okay, gave you back your kid, reward please,” the Chosen One said. “Quickly.”

“As promised,” the griffin leader said and, with a swish of his tail, a stormy gem appeared in front of him. Black clouds swirled within it, lightning strikes lighting it up from within. Next to it was a fan made of fur and feathers. “This gem, though not as beautiful as us, will assist this puny human to defeat the unworthy ruler. And this fan, made of our sheddings, will clear away any fog. You must be honoured.”

“Gross,” the Chosen One said flatly as he accepted the fan and gem.

“Our reward! Gem help! Fan help!” the Flitter Folk burst out into song, as a second gem appeared, and a fan made of quills and downy feathers appeared.

“Thanks for not calling it your sheddings,” the Chosen One said as he solemnly accepted their gifts.

And, with a final wave of farewell to the lion, a check for any other loot, and Squiggles and Qube safely stowed away, the group launched into the air and flew away.