“Fearsome pharaoh,” Sewer Bard said, looking slightly uneasy, “that is not yet necessary. First, I beseech you to tell us of what events transpired to lock you in this dreadful place.”

“We ruled over our land as we saw fit,” the pharaoh said, seething. “But traitors within our people rose up, and cast us here. They shall rue the day they ever raised a hand against their master!”

“What does ruling over as he saw fit mean?” Qube whispered to Sewer Bard, not wanting to interrupt his conversation with the pharaoh. “If he was ruling badly, then it would —”

She became aware that the pharaoh was looking at her. Quite how she could tell it was her, and not anyone else, was hard to say, given the lack of moveable facial features. But she felt the weight of his gaze upon her, and it frightened her.

“What is this creature?” the pharaoh boomed, pointing at her.

“This is our Healer,” Sewer Bard replied as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady flared up, scuttling towards the pharaoh.

“And you will address her with respect,” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady practically hissed, her eyes glowing with rage.

“You choose strange servants,” the pharaoh said, staring at the arachnid with his unblinking eyes. “We shall keep them.”

Sexy Screamy Spider Lady spat onto the ground in a shockingly unladylike display. The glob of green venom started to eat through the sandstone floor. Qube wasn’t sure if she was more upset by the spitting, dissolving, or implied threat.

“You can keep my daggers in your heart,” the arachnid growled. Even Definitely Bad Guy had joined the group clustered by the doorway at this point, and was glowering at the once-almighty ruler. Qube felt tentacles wrap around her ankles, and glanced down to see Squiggles winding around both the Hunter and her, slowly opening her maw as if trying to intimidate this powerful being.

“That can’t be normal,” the Chosen One said from the back of the group. The haughty non-Royal swivelled his body to face the Hero.

“Undying ruler,” Sewer Bard interjected desperately, trying to wave down the others from their confrontational stances, “we cannot aid you in your quest for vengeance unless we understand the circumstances surrounding it. Please, I beg that you enlighten us.”

“Their lives were ours, to use as we saw fit,” the pharaoh replied, sounding almost surprised that Sewer Bard had to ask. “They objected. So we slew them.”

“Ah,” Sewer Bard said eloquently.

Qube felt a heat spread throughout her at the pharaoh’s words. She’d been mildly offended, but otherwise indifferent to being referred to as a creature, and the implication that the pharaoh would try and keep her and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady was concerning, but expected. After all, he was just trying to act Royal and happened to be bad at it. But this… this callous disregard for the lives of people under his care.

She burned.

“The survivors banded together, and bound us here, unable to escape, or die. For centuries we have lain here, withering, waiting for the one who would free us, and allow us to wreak havoc on those ingrates.”

Qube’s heart was aflame with rage. He dared hurt his own people?

“So, freeing this guy, we happy with this decision, or no?” the Chosen One piped up. Sewer Bard turned and glared at the Chosen One, before focusing all his attention on the pharaoh.

“I, of all beings, well understand your desire for revenge against those who have wronged you,” he said, far too earnestly for Qube’s liking. “But this is not necessary. I have freed you, body and mind, and you now have a choice to work with us, to join us in overthrowing the Evil Emperor and creating a new world where all are free.”

Is that why they’d freed him? Qube had thought it was to get all the facts before making a decision. The facts that were now blindingly obvious and required immediate action.

“That is why I cast [The Bard’s Ballad],” Sewer Bard continued, clenching his fists even as his face remained earnest. “You are no longer bound by your quest for revenge. Come, join us, and we can transcend the limitations placed upon us by our circumstances!”

The Bard held out a hand towards the pharaoh, who regarded him with his perfect, unmovable face.

“No,” he said, as unstoppable and unarguable as the passage of time. “We will have our revenge.”

“But you don’t have to!” Sewer Bard cried, confused and indignant. “The spell, did it not change your mind? Did it not release you? We can be more than what they made us!”

“We are more than what we were made to be,” the pharaoh agreed.

“So show them! Show them our worth! How we can grow beyond what they planned for us!” the Bard argued. “You’re angry, yes, but use that anger to advance!”

“You state you have given us a choice, given us freedom?” the pharaoh calmly replied. “Then understand this: This is what we choose to do. We have lain for centuries, awaiting this. For untold lifetimes we have had naught to do but plan. This is not some whim, laid upon us by another. This is all that is left of us. We will not be controlled by you, nor any other. We are now above such control.”

“Did the spell make no difference?” Definitely Bad Guy, unable to help himself, interjected. There was a very faint grinding noise as the pharaoh’s helmet swivelled to face the Mage.

“It did,” he answered. “Already we feel our mind expanding. Expanding…” the pharaoh trailed off, as if struck by a thought. “We shall expand… beyond the desert. Why had we thought ourselves limited only to such a small place before? The whole kingdom could be ours, ripe for the taking.” The pharaoh inhaled, the sharp intake of air sucking against the metal of his helmet. “All will kneel, or fall.”

“He isn’t like us,” Qube said in an undertone to Sewer Bard. The Bard looked at her, searching her face. Qube felt her rage consolidate, the fire within her becoming cold. The double meaning of what Sewer Bard had been saying to the pharaoh was now clear to her. “He isn’t Good. You can’t compare us to this, this…” words failed her as she tried to find a way to describe the monster before them.

“I thought the violence was placed upon them all,” Sewer Bard said, sounding almost lost. “The other monsters, after the spell, seemed curious about the world. They became peaceful, and spread my song. I thought… I thought if I could reach him, perform for him, he would follow us into a brave new verse of our saga, untainted by the restrictions we have all suffered under.”

The cold-fire within Qube spread at the Bard’s words.

“He slaughtered his people,” she said quietly. The blackened ruins of her village were stamped into her soul.

“I blame no man for what he was forced to do,” Sewer Bard replied, the golden light reflected from the tomb flickering through his hair. “I wouldn’t have thought you capable of such blame either, fair Healer.”

Qube squeezed her eyes shut as memories assailed her.

“He will kill again,” she stated, avoiding the implied question. “You’ve given him a choice, and it turns out he’s choosing to be Evil. So we’re going to do what we always do when confronting Evil.” She turned and looked at the Chosen One, who was silently watching the entire exchange, his face expressionless.

“Try and befriend it, somehow incorporate it into the party, or set it loose in the woods?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.

“No,” Qube replied, her eyes firing up with determination. “We’re going to break it!”

The Chosen One gasped, his eyes shining with glee.

“You truly are becoming like me!” he said proudly.

---

For all her bravado, Qube had no idea how they were going to break the pharaoh. The Chosen One always made breaking things look so easy! He would just be himself, and things would go insane!

So she had to think like the Chosen One.

She stared at the Chosen One, trying to think like him. The Chosen One stared back at her. She narrowed her eyes, trying to fully bring herself into his mindset. He narrowed his eyes back.

It was working! She was becoming more like him! They were so in sync they were mirroring each other! This was going perfectly!

“Psst,” the Chosen One said out of the corner of his mouth, not breaking eye contact. “What are we doing? Am I allowed to blink?” He blinked. “Aw man, I blinked. Hold on, give me a second and I’ll be good to keep going.”

The Chosen One hated choices. He hated having options removed. In almost every Temple, the place tried to manoeuvre him into an either/or decision, which he never took.

Well, it’d tried that here, too. It had said that they could choose to either break the seal, or reinforce it. It had even tried to remove their option to reinforce after breaking, by making the runes disappear. And if Qube had learned anything in her study of the Temples, it was that there was always a way to do both things.

Oddly enough, the pharaoh wasn’t using this opportunity to leave the tomb and start his plan for world domination. Instead, he was wandering about his room, still holding the flail and golden gem he’d tried to offer them earlier.

Definitely Bad Guy had managed to edge his way into the tomb-room, and was studying the various artefacts with interest. In this he was somewhat hindered by Squiggles, who was trying to “help” him, which mostly consisted of knocking over whatever he was reaching for. Whether this was a series of genuine accidents, or on purpose, Qube wasn’t sure.

“I don’t understand,” Sewer Bard was saying to Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. The duo were still standing in the doorway, watching the pharaoh move about. The Hunter looked down at the Bard, and shrugged.

“You can’t force everyone into doing what you want,” she chided. “How would that make you any better?”

“I wasn’t trying to force anyone!” Sewer Bard angrily rebutted.

“Weren’t you?” Sexy Screamy Spider Lady asked in what was, for her, a very neutral tone.

Giving her a haunted look, the Bard lapsed into silence.

Qube, meanwhile, was still trying to think of how to solve the breaking problem.

“Chosen One,” Qube whispered to her not-childhood-but-still-important friend.

“Yes?” the Chosen One whispered back.

“Do you know anything about the pharaoh?” she asked. This wasn’t technically her asking him for help; she just needed more information! Normally, Sewer Bard would be her go-to source (outside of a library) but he hadn’t seemed to know anything about the pharaoh and also he was having a rough enough time as it was. “I need to figure out how to break him,” she added, just in case the Hero was wondering why she was asking.

Not that she was trying to sway his answer in a more helpful direction, or anything!

“That guy?” the Chosen One asked, breaking their staring contest to throw a look of scorn at the pharaoh. “Undead, probably heaps of health, ego-maniac, rule the world, yadda, yadda. You guys were saying he controlled the mummies from earlier, right?” Qube didn’t remember saying anything of the sort but she nodded anyway to encourage him to keep speaking. “So probably some kind of mass control. If I had to guess, he’s gonna go turn that group of desert people he was talking about into zombies, or mummies or something, and rule over a city of the dead style thing. Which is super annoying, actually, considering we somehow skipped over that whole section.”

“Yes, it is very annoying that all those innocent people will die,” Qube agreed sincerely.

“Oh, yeah, no, don’t get me wrong, we’re going to stop him from doing that,” the Chosen One hastily added. “Or, I suppose, you’re going to stop him.”

The Chosen One rubbed his chin, a sight that filled Qube with hope.

“I don’t suppose you’ve tried hurting him with your healing stuff, have you?” he asked.

Qube tilted her head to the side as she considered his question.

“What do you mean?’ she asked.

“Oh boy!” the Chosen One happily exclaimed. “Time to teach you about the undead!”