Fungi fun-guy remained unchanged and perverted masochist hadn't reappeared. Symbiont of the devourer was gone though, again implying that my pet murder tree was not having a good time. Bondage aficionado was, of course, still there, and worse, the description had grown to include my latest escapades.

Available class: Bondage aficionado (Rare)

Just how, exactly, do you keep ending up in so many compromising situations? Bound by the roots of an angelica vorax, cocooned by an aranea volito, entombed by a chilopoda sagacitas, tied up and shackled by the vulpes sagax, enslaved by an enchanted collar, webbed and paralysed by the kiss of an aranea regina, lovingly tangled up in your own webs, amputated and locked in stone bonds by the carnes multiformis, puppeted by the vines of the angelica arbitrium and trapped in the stomach of a hydra igneus. But it's not as if you hate it, right? You even invented a ranking system and started taking comparative notes.

Unlock requirements: Take your love of bondage far and wide.

Class features: Increased sensitivity to touch. Your body becomes immune to damage suffered from holding uncomfortable positions for long periods.

Skill domain: Special

"At least it doesn't mention all the times you were paralysed. Only the spider queen," tried my zombie twin in an attempt to comfort me.

"Thanks... I think."

Blighted champion, chilopoda kin and shrine maiden were all still there, unchanged, but the [Next] button remained, mocking me with its presence. I clicked it and sighed at my first new option. I suppose I deserved it for giving up on my quest.

"Fallen hero..." I commented.

"I'm surprised that's a class, but if it is, you earned it. Wear it as a badge of honour. You'd rather save lives than blindly follow instructions."

Available class: Fallen hero (Rare)

Few are selected by the Goddess. The chosen heroes, blessed with a fragment of Her power, dwelling among lesser mortals as their protectors, their shepherds, their examples. You turned from that path, using your divine power to murder innocents by the thousand. Whether you felt pleasure or disgust, or even nothing at all, believing your actions to be simple necessity, do you still honestly believe you have the right to call yourself a hero?

Unlock requirements: Take the lives of over a thousand sapient beings that were not antagonistic towards you or any allies.

Class features: Gain an aura effect that inflicts fear. Gain the ability to destroy shrines.

Skill domain: Special

Save lives... Right.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I realised I was shaking and hyperventilating, and fought to bring myself back under control. "It wasn't about the sword," I managed, once I felt safe to talk. "It was about me murdering thousands of innocent fox-kin."

My twin frowned. Was she going to judge me too?

"Something's wrong," she said, eventually. "I know you're feeling bad, but stop to think for a moment. Why did you get that option this time, but not when you picked your second class? It had already happened by then."

Right. That's true. I wasn't thinking straight. The only difference between then and now is that I know about it. My first class was too perfect. It was exactly what I was hoping for, and I couldn't believe it was by chance. This place was pulling ideas out of my own head. Did that class appear because I thought I deserved it?

As my first class description said, they did come to fear my mad laughter. And now I wanted them to stop.

I needed to put the fox-kin aside. They'd started the fight, and I hadn't known the blight would wipe them out. Guilt wasn't going to undo the damage.

Also, if these classes were coming from my head, what did that say about perverted masochist?

Available class: Dragon knight (Rare)

True draco are almost mythical creatures, rarely involving themselves in the affairs of lesser races. When they do appear, you can be certain that great and terrible events are afoot. You have not only encountered and dealt with such creatures, but some of their blood runs through your veins. This class will awaken that blood and grant you the full power of your birthright.

Unlock requirements: Meet a draco on friendly terms. Have draconic blood in your ancestry.

Class features: Race transition to demidraco. Massive increase to all stats.

Skill domain: Combat, magic

Unless governments on Earth were rather more adept at keeping secrets than I believed them to be, I was fairly sure I had no dragon blood in my ancestry. That must be a side effect of my monster tamer class, and resulting draconic wings and breath. But the fact that the class name is dragon knight and not draco knight did back up dupliKatie's theory.

"That's a cool one," said my twin. "If all you want from the class is to be as tough as nails, that's the one to go for."

"It'll certainly come with physical changes though, and it doesn't help me get you out of here."

"Not that I enjoy being the voice of reason, but we both know that's unlikely to be possible. Not that I won't jump at the chance if something looks likely, but we both need to be prepared for the alternative."

I sighed. She was right, of course. And I knew she'd insist on remaining here rather than bringing the blight to another world. It's what I would do, after all.

Available class: Fate unweaver (Rare)

To some a blessing, to others their doom, but to all you bring great change. Wherever you tread, the fate of those around you unravels and is remade, leaving chaos in your wake.

Unlock requirements: Redirect the fates of five thousand individuals.

Class features: Perceive fate.

Skill domain: Special

"The heck? Perceive fate?"

"Yeah, I've got nothing either," I said, wondering where that had come from.

"That must be a comforting class, though."

"Huh? How so?"

"There weren't five thousand fox-kin, so it's including the blobs. Remember that they're only alive because of you."

That was true... Although likewise, their predecessors were dead because of me. Slaves they might have been, but they were very happy slaves, the tree's manipulations flooding them with constant pleasure. Although I suppose the ones in the village, tricked into breeding new drones for the tree while not even realising they were infected, weren't quite so happy with their lives. Even less so for the delimbed sex slaves...

Whatever. Since I had no idea what it would actually do, that class wasn't a safe choice.

Available class: [Untranslatable] (Unique)

Countless worlds exist only a shadow's width away from you, just waiting for you to reach out and touch them. But within those shadows lies the Void. Should you try to cross it, who's to say what might arrive on the other side? Perhaps it will be you, or perhaps it will merely be something that thinks it is you. Perhaps you would be [untranslatable] en route. Should you be intending to risk the journey, this class will aid in the attempt, and perhaps more importantly, aid in ensuring that you emerge unchanged. Or maybe changing is your wish, in which case this class can draw upon the Void itself to fulfil your every dream, wish and fantasy.

Unlock requirements: Travel between realms. Look into the Void. Be noticed. [Untranslatable].

Class features: Vision. Comprehension. Self. Form.

Skill domain: Special

"That one," said my twin.

"Why? Putting aside the fact that it's suspicious as all heck, I already have the dragon providing transport, and it doesn't do anything to increase my strength or help me rescue you."

"It may very well help you get me out."

"Yes, but not without bringing the blight with you, which I know you won't allow."

"None of the classes would allow that, and frankly, given the effect that dragon has on you just by looking at it, are you really going to trust it to send you to another world? He just wants you gone, remember. Why should he care what state you're in when you reach the other side? Or what other world you come out in, for that matter."

"He doesn't have that effect anymore," I countered. "And mind mage might."

"The thought that a level one mind mage would have the skills to rip my mind out of this body, keep it intact and put it somewhere safer is... optimistic, to put it mildly."

"And what about the thought that a level one whatever class that is letting me jump to a world I've only ever spent five minutes in, when I know nothing about how this multiple worlds thing even works?"

The zombie sighed. "You wanted my advice, and that's it. Even if you can't jump yourself, perhaps it'll help you cooperate with the dragon to get you to the right place. And besides... In the worst case, if everything goes wrong, and shouty-mage doesn't want to send you back because you didn't get him the sword, and you can't beat back the demons... That class will let you jump back to Earth. But if you're really against it, my second choice would be dragon knight."

So that was why she really wanted me to take it. It was true that I'd come here to ask her advice, so I'd at least give her the courtesy of considering it.

Dragon knight sounded cool, but would it offer anything over picking the dragon skills on my tamer class? And how bad would the physical changes be? Would I even be humanoid by the end of it? If it offered shapeshifting, I wouldn't have been so worried, but a race change was a deal breaker. Extra tentacles were one thing, but I had no intention of giving up opposable thumbs.

A mage class was tempting, but limited. The elemental mage class was a good start, and if it had subsumed the others, I might have taken it. Decay wasn't interesting, but soul, space and mind could all have been useful. Any individual one of them wasn't enough for me to risk it, but something that offered everything might have been.

And this new class wasn't rare, but unique. A standard world-hopper class sounded like something special, for sure, but why unique? It obviously wouldn't make me the only one capable of crossing worlds, given that the black dragon claimed to be capable and shouty-mage certainly was. What, exactly, did it mean by fulfilling my every dream? How powerful would that class be?

Fine then. Mystery untranslatable void-ish realm-travelling class it is.

Tertiary class set to [untranslatable]

I turned and stared at my zombie twin.

"What? Is there something on my face? Other than the tattoos?"

I burst out laughing. How could I not? The Goddess was a complete and utter hack. "No soul..." I managed, when I'd recovered enough to squeeze out a couple of words. "To think we assumed you had no soul..."

"Huh?"

"You're... you're... me!"

"Yes?"

"No, not a clone of me. I mean literally. Comprehension. Vision. Hah! I can see all the little tricks and shortcuts now."

"You aren't making much sense."

"No, that's because you split off from me too soon, but it doesn't matter. We just need to resync."

I walked up to myself. My other, remotely controlled body backed away from me. That wouldn't do. "Stay," I commanded, and she stopped. "No need to be frightened. I don't even really need to touch you for this. I just felt like another kiss."

So I did, opening a window in the wall within my soul that partitioned the two of us and letting my separate minds intermingle.

The other me stood still, doubtless processing the new memories I'd just shared with her, while I processed what I'd picked up from her. Mostly boredom. And... Yes, that was definitely classed as necrophilia. The poor blighted husks.

"Right," she said, once she'd recovered. "Three points. No, four. First, calm down. You're riding high on a bunch of information that was just dumped into your head. You need to process it all properly before you start to act on it."

The other me glared hard, like a mother telling off an errant kid. I laughed again at the thought of me mothering myself.

"Fine. I promise not to do anything else but sit here for the next hour or so," I agreed.

"Good. Second, that was mean. We need to work on our bedside manner. Third, when we leave this world, do you think we can bring one of those daemonium sexus with us? Because they are bloody amazing. Lastly, we have a fucking traitorous dragon to deal with."

Right... That damn dragon.