《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 53: “S” Stands For?
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The scent of burning herbs and incense filled my nostrils as I opened the door to Esmerelda’s. As the bell jingled, Esmerelda glanced in our direction with pursed lips and a raised, albeit lazy, brow.
I wonder if she suspects we’re up to no good.
“Welcome to Esmerelda’s Eclectics.” Esmerelda’s flat tone had me looking away, scratching some corner of my elbow. Keke did much the same at my side, and Cannoli stayed behind me where it was safe. Esmerelda continued her conversation with a pair of maids at the counter, and we began our search for anything that might help break our man out.
“Search there.” Ravyn pointed to several shelves over on my left, then pointed to an old rickety door to our right that had strange violet fumes billowing out onto the floor. “I’ll search in there.”
“Wait, are we even allowed to be in there?” I reached for Ravyn’s shoulder, but she was already walking away from me, her heels clicking and clacking against the hardwood floor.
All business today, huh?
“Matt, do you want me to help you look?” came Cannoli’s voice.
“I’d appreciate that.”
“I’m going to take this aisle, then” said Keke.
“Then I’ll take the next one with Cannoli.” The motion of Cannoli’s bobbing head rubbed against my back, and with a chuckle, I took her over to a couple of shelves situated in a corner of the shop.
Each of the shelves felt old and looked even older. I was afraid to touch anything out of fear that one of the jars would fall and crash on the ground. Knowing my luck, it’d probably be some ancient newt that Esmerelda had been pickling for about a decade worth my entire savings of Bells. And there Matt stayed, working retail in a world far, far away from Earth until the end of his days.
Just the thought of trying to stay alive and work retail in a world I hadn’t even lived in for a year was enough to keep my hands off of most anything I saw.
“Matt, what about something like this?” Cannoli pointed to a small box shaped like a treasure chest. A paper tag tied to it with a thick lock of string labeled it as an “Invisibility Enchantment.” Cannoli took the box into her hands and pulled open the lid. Inside were at least ten scrolls, the emblem of a fox traced onto each scroll in faded yellow ink.
My eyes lit up. Then as I turned the tag over, my jaw dropped. “Ten-thousand Bells? That’s highway robbery. There’s no way we can ask Ravyn to pay for this.”
“Well, wait! It might just mean for all of them. I, uh, umm, I’ll go and ask!” Cannoli closed the box and pitter-pattered her way over to the counter before I had a chance to stop her.
It didn’t take long, though. Cannoli made her way back to me and held out the box. “The price is for a single scroll.” She frowned. Buttons wandered up her arm and sniffed at the fading parchment.
“It’s okay, Cannoli. Really.” I accepted the box from her petite hands before Buttons could do a taste test that would cost us everything. Cannoli’s fingers brushed against mine. for a brief moment. So soft. I put the box back onto its shelf, sliding it into position with the utmost care. Buttons resumed his position on Cannoli’s neck. “We’ll find something—”
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Cannoli wrapped one of her arms around the bend of my arm and weaved her fingers between mine. My skin warmed to her touch, and my breath hitched.
“Matt,” her voice came in a whisper, but I held onto every word. “When I get this enchantment off, could we spend a little more, um, i-intimate time together? I-if that’s okay.”
I looked down at her, and her striking red eyes bore into me with an intense passion.
Cannoli’s face was beat-red. She drew a deep breath. “I want to get closer to you. Please.”
“I would love that.”
The two of us stayed like that for a few minutes. I could feel the uneasiness of our recent predicaments melting away. Cannoli’s chest rose and fell, and I could hear the soft sound of air entering and leaving her nose. Cannoli leaned her weight into me, and I rested my chin atop her head, smiling.
“We should do this more often,” I suggested.
“Then I suggest we do. Doctor’s orders,” she whispered.
“Doctor might be a stretch. Nurse is probably more in line.”
“Hey, that’s not true.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Nurse in-training.”
“Mmf.” Cannoli jabbed me with a light and playful poke. “Meanie.”
“Sorry. Born this way. I make no apologies.”
“Well,” Cannoli started, letting go of my hand and putting a few paces of distance between us, “we should probably keep looking.”
“Yeah.”
Cannoli and I took opposite sides of a shelf and continued our search through the dust. There was no feasible way I could overstate what sorts of spells and strange concoctions I found and even smelled. Anything you could think of—and not think of—was here. Scrolls to command a person to do one’s bidding, another to transmogrify one into an Encroached, some even had the same spells I’d seen Cannoli and Ravyn use, like [Blinding Light] and [Fire Ball].
I wonder if I could make good use of these. Would I need a lot of Magic for them to be effective?
I made a mental note to ask Ravyn and continued my search. Many of the apparatuses, potions, and herbs had oddly specific uses. One stated that it could renew one’s strength, but it must be consumed under the full moon after being rejected by one’s true love.
How do you even determine one’s true love in the first place? Is some unearthly force at work rolling the dice and spinning a wheel to determine this?
I shook my head. Then, I heard the voice of Ravyn. I peeked around the shelf, and she seemed to be having an enthusiastic conversation with the shopkeep. No surprise with how loaded Ravyn was. I’m sure Esmerelda would do anything to get on her good side. Perhaps it was presumptuous of me to assume, but I had the distinct feeling that Esmerelda also sailed from San Island. Then, I had to wonder why in the hell she chose to be on an island like this.
Whatever. None of my business.
At a loss for what may or may not be helpful, I walked up to the counter to see what Ravyn and Esmerelda were talking about.
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“Any leads?” I asked.
Ravyn was leaning slouched over the counter. She beckoned me with a hand, and I made my way over to her side.
Her eyes narrowed, and a big grin spread across her face. “Oh, I think so. The plan will change a bit, but it’ll be much more fun. Much more entertaining.”
“Fun is a property of our mission, then?”
“More like an added benefit. You’ll get a new experience out of it anyway, so no complaining.”
Esmerelda’s eye shifted to look at me. It started below, gradually rising until reaching my face. The entire time she wore a look of mild interest, the corner of her mouth twitching and her tongue clicking in her mouth. “He has no experience, then?”
“None,” Ravyn confirmed.
Esmerelda’s “smile” grew wider. Not by much, but definitely wider. “The agreed-upon amount, then?”
Ravyn sifted through her [Cat Pack] and withdrew two bulging sacks of Bells—I dared not ask how much she was paying for this. Esmerelda gave a curt nod and reached underneath the counter. She procured four bottles and five scrolls.
The bottles were filled to the brim with a murky white liquid. For a moment, I thought I saw something moving inside, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted the answer to that question.
Imprinted on the scrolls was the visage of an outlined man. One half of the drawing was red, while the other was blue. It was exceptionally simple in design, with small, scooping waves surrounding the outline.
Some sort of changing spell?
Esmerelda pushed the hoard forward, and Ravyn accounted for each item, pointing to them individually and mumbling incoherent words. A moment later, Ravyn slid the two sacks of Bells across the counter and placed each bottle and scroll into her [Cat Pack] with utmost caution.
“We got what we need! Grab Cannoli. Hey, Keke! We’re outta here!”
“Did you find something useful?” Keke asked.
“Kehehehe. Oh, yes. Very useful.”
Ravyn took us to a dilapidated house up the road and squatted down in one corner to go through her inventory. Keke, Cannoli, and I waited against the corner opposite her.
“Looks like she got the drugs at least,” Keke said.
“So we’re drugging the poor man after all?” Cannoli said with clear disappointment in her voice.
“Maybe, maybe not,” I said, unsure. “Not sure why she couldn’t just tell us already. I don’t like it. She’s hiding it on purpose. She’s always going for the biggest reaction.”
“So suspicious of her,” Keke said with a giggle.
I sighed. “That’s just Ravyn.”
“Thank you so, so much for waiting!” Ravyn approached with her hands behind her back and a mischievous smile playing on her lips.
She looks like a game show host. “What did I tell you?” I asked, looking at Keke.
“Oh, hush,” said Ravyn. “You’re going to enjoy this, I promise. You get an experience very few ever get. One that’ll give you quite a rush.”
“The audience is waiting,” said Keke.
“What do you have?” Cannoli said with bright eyes.
Buttons poked his head out and over her collar, his tiny nails holding firmly to the edges.
Ravyn held out one of the scrolls I saw earlier. “I got five of these. That way, we can practice and go through the motions.”
“Why five?” asked Keke. “Wouldn’t it be better to get four or six? No, wait, what do these do? That’s the better question.”
“Two for practice, two for the real thing, one in case something goes wrong, or we need one for our man. As for what they do, well—it would be unfair of me to test this on someone else before offering myself up as tribute. Matt, would you be so kind as to follow my instructions?”
I pushed away from the corner and closed the distance between Ravyn and me. “What do you need for me to do?”
“Just hold my hand.”
Ravyn offered a hand, and I took it with a bit of apprehension, grasping her at her forearm.
She mirrored me. “Okay. Now what?”
“Now, stay still.” Ravyn gripped the scroll tight in her hand, crunching the paper.
Ball was sitting in the corner, flapping, and pacing about.
Guess something about this unnerves him?
“[Impersonate Soul]!” Ravyn cried.
A golden-white light enveloped my vision. My eyes felt like they were on fire, so I shut them. Heat lit my veins, and the hairs on my arms stood on end. When the light faded and I opened my eyes, I gasped.
“Is that… me?” Just before my very eyes was the spitting image of myself, down to the mole underneath my left eye and the single red streak in my hair. There was just one issue. “Now I know what I look like in Ravyn’s outfit.”
Keke burst out laughing, and Cannoli covered her beat-red face. Ravyn’s hand was still grasping at my arm. She, er, He stared and smiled big.
Okay, mental note. Don’t ever smile like that.
“You look awful in a dress!” Keke cried, slapping one of her thighs.
“Just one last touch,” Ravyn said in my voice. In the palm of Ravyn’s—erm, my—hand was the same insignia I saw on the scroll. It glowed with red and blue light. She brought it to the side of her neck. When she removed her hand, the rune remained. “This is our hourglass of sorts. Unfortunately, it’s also a dead giveaway that we’re impersonating someone else. For that reason, I suggest you put it somewhere… discreet.”
I shook my arm free of Ravyn’s grasp, which, not to sound full of myself, didn’t take as much effort as I was expecting.
“Now it’s time to talk about the caveats to this enchantment,” said my double. “As any spell has its pros and cons.”
Here’s hoping this doesn’t get me on Nyarlea’s Most Wanted.

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