《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 61: The Forest
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That night on the boat was probably the worst I’d spent in Nyarlea thus far. The lack of a proper spot to set up and cook meant we were reduced to fishing and having Ravyn cook it for us using her fire magic. Portia only stored enough food away for herself. On top of that, Celestia had certainly found out about Tristan’s absence by now, which led us to spend the entirety of the night in pitch-black darkness to avoid being caught by any catgirls who may have access to a boat.
Thankfully, Portia had assured us that not a single boat had appeared during our absence. Seems they really had no intention to leave after all.
I’ll just say it. It is the absolute worst to share a sloop with six other people. The thing should have held four total at max capacity. Each of us took turns in watching, including Portia. After a lengthy lesson on how easy it would be to knock people overboard if I turned the wheel too hard, she also caught a few hours of sleep while I kept the ship’s steering straight. The only ones we didn’t allow a chance to keep an eye out were the obvious Ara and Tristan. Though, admittedly, I was less concerned about them. My offer to take them back if they didn’t change their mind seemed to have the desired effect, so all I could do was hope.
After all, there was a certain parrot-and-sorceress combo waiting for the chance to char me alive if my plan didn’t work out. Throughout the night, she shot consistent glares in my direction. For a short while, I thought she might throw me overboard and sail away to San Island with Tristan and the girls. But—dare I say it—I think I was beginning to understand her a little better now as well.
I was at the wheel when the sun rose. The murmurs and snores of the sleeping girls made their way to my ears. As miserable as the night was, the moment brought me a certain level of peace that I hadn’t felt since we arrived on Shi Island.
Then there were footsteps—one after another. Keke appeared, rubbing her left eye.
“Good morning,” I said, no doubt suffering from the same large bags I could see wrecking havoc on her eyelids.
“There’s nothing good about it,” Keke mumbled. With her eyes half-open, she strode to my side. She leaned her head against my right shoulder, nuzzling her face against my sleeve. “Can we just go back to Ni Island and sleep?”
“Wouldn’t that be great?” I fantasized for a few moments. She and I would be in bed together naked, her skin against mine. We would spend a long, drowsy morning just like that. Eventually, we would get up, and maybe we’d make breakfast together. I could make her one of Matt Kelmer’s signature coffee brews. The afternoon would come, and we’d enjoy a walk through the town, hand-in-hand.
Shit, dude. When did you get so touchy-feely?
I reached around with my left hand and ran my fingers through her hair. “We’ll have a date like that soon. Mark your calendar.”
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“Mhm,” Keke groaned.
We stayed like that for some time. Keke never struck me as the type to fall asleep standing up, but I’m pretty sure she did just then—even if it was only for a few minutes.
Soon enough, each of the girls began to wake, Tristan being the last one to join me on deck.
“You’ve done enough, Matt,” Portia said with a yawn. She waved Keke and me away with both of her hands the same way you’d tell a dog to “get.”
We took a seat on the deck against the railing and leaned our heads up against each other.
“We almost there?” Ravyn said with a tone of impatience.
See, the night has just made you grumpier.
“Aye. Maybe an hour. Can see the port from here,” said Portia.
“So it is still intact?” I asked.
Portia shook her head. “Nay. The thing’s busted up pretty bad. But not so much that we can’t dock at it. You’ll need to be careful. Bloody thing’s barely holdin’ together, looks like.”
Something is better than nothing.
She wasn’t kidding. By the time we arrived by the dock, the sun was shining bright, and we were little more than a few minutes away. There was something left resembling a dock. But it looked rickety, tilted, and it swayed side to side.
My hopes were beginning to sink with the remainder of the dock.
“Eck,” said Ravyn.
The group shared a few words of skepticism, mostly concerning whether we’d all fall into the ocean to be eaten by a Defiled. All the while, Tristan was barely paying attention. He tapped his foot and crossed his arms in thought. I ducked out of my conversation with the group and touched his shoulder.
“You okay over there?” I asked.
“Yes. I’m fine, thank you. I’m just behind, is all.”
“Behind?”
“On my quota.”
This guy has a fucking quota? Are you— I mean, I— what the hell, man?
I cleared my throat. “You don’t think that’s strange, having a quota?”
Tristan shook his head. “Not at all. Celestia made me a schedule, bless her heart. I’m behind three girls now. I’ll have to work extra hard to make up for the ones I couldn’t couple with last night.”
She plans out his sex schedule? “I don’t even know where to start with that statement. Just get into [Combat Mode].”
Tristan looked at me, furrowing his brow. “[Combat Mode]?”
I paused. “You’re not serious. [Combat Mode]. You know, when you switch your clothes and gear into something more manageable for fighting? Surely you’ve used it before, haven’t you?”
Tristan looked as if he were trying his best to remember. “I’m sorry. It’s been so long. I’ve only ever fought a couple of times, and that was years ago. It’s all such a blur to me that I can barely remember what it was like my first few days after arriving in Venicia.”
“Okay. Then, today you’re going to relearn. All you have to do is think about it and just say, [Combat Mode].”
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“That’s it? But what if I don’t have any weapons or armor?”
“You should. Check your [Cat Pack].”
Again, Tristan shook his head. “Oh, that! Celestia has it.”
I changed my mind. Let’s take him back.
I took a deep breath. “Alright. Let’s get on the island first. Then we’ll figure out what to do next. Maybe Ravyn or Keke have something you can use. Do you at least know what [Class] you are?”
Tristan nodded. “A Mage.”
Another backliner. Great.
I was beginning to look forward to meeting Ceres again. While protecting my girls was top priority, I had silently hoped that Tristan would’ve taken some sort of melee-oriented [Class] like Cailu and I did. Though it seemed Celestia had drilled the idea into his brain that he must be protected at all costs. So that probably wasn’t helping.
“What spells do you know?” Ravyn suddenly chimed in.
Were your ears burning?
“[Fire Ball],” Tristan replied.
Ravyn and I waited for him to list any others. Instead, we just stood there in uncomfortable silence as the realization slowly dawned on us.
“That’s it?” I asked.
Tristan nodded sheepishly and clutched his left arm at the elbow. “Sorry.”
Talk about a fixer-upper.
Before we could continue our barrage of questions, Portia called out to us. “We’re here! Best be off asap!”
I turned and gestured my gratitude. “Thanks, Portia. You alright waiting around until we comeback?”
Portia waved me away. “I’ll be here, Matt. Just…not so close to the dock.” With one last wary look at the dilapidated wood, she shook her head. “Go!”
The girls and I took our time stepping off the sloop, one by one. As awful as the dock appeared, it was still holding together. Somehow. A handful of resilient nails and a dream, maybe. Keke was the first to test its stability. My heart nearly leapt out of my throat when she jumped up and down on it.
“It’s fine! Should be okay so long as we go one at a time!” Keke said with a reassuring gesture.
“Great! Now stop jumping!” I called, hoarse from worry.
“I’ll go next,” said Ravyn.
And like that, we crossed the battered wooden planks and reached the stone walkway of the dock.
The town had definitely seen better days. Entire sections of buildings were eroded or carved out. Debris littered the ground in stony, dirt-covered chunks. It looked as if the whole place had been bombarded by cannon fire.
Streaks and splatters of dried blood painted the streets and what remained of the walls in a chaotic array. Through one of the open windows of a nearby building, I caught a limp arm hanging out.
“One sec!” I ran to the spot as quickly as I could, hoping to find at least one person alive in this place.
The sight wasn’t one I’d forget for a long time. On the other end of the arm was a half-eaten catgirl, her right arm twisted as if she had been cradling a bundle. Most of her face—fixed into an eternal scream of fear—remained intact, but the right eye and back section of her head were gone, replaced by dark, flat gore and hungry maggots. The stench was overwhelming.
“Shit,” I whispered, cupping a hand over my mouth. My stomach tied itself in knots. I felt like I was going to vomit.
“Matt, what’s wrong?” Cannoli was approaching. My stomach was still in fits as she made her way over.
I put my hand out. “Stop!”
Cannoli did as I said, though she looked frightened at my sudden outburst. “Ah, I-I’m sorry.”
I shook my head and hurried over to her side, turning her around so she wouldn’t see the mess behind me. “Let’s just keep going. It’s nothing.”
“Okay,” she said in a barely audible whisper.
Cannoli and I rushed to catch up with the others. While we kept our voices down—as if speaking too loudly would wake the dead—Ara and Tristan were especially quiet. However, Ara seemed to be looking for something.
“Is something wrong?” Keke asked.
“No. Nothing,” Ara said flatly.
In addition to the sad state of the dock and the piecemeal houses, half of what used to be a nearby forest lay in ruin. A wide-open clearing up the hill displayed a sprawled thicket of stumps, fallen trees, dried wood, and the distinct scent of charcoal.
Black and white ash and soot covered everywhere the eye could see. There wasn’t a lick of green left.
“This is Anyona, right?” I thought aloud.
“Close to it,” Ara confirmed. “But, I—I heard things were getting better,” Ara said the last sentence in little more than a whisper.
Guess this holds some history for you too.
We followed what used to be the road in and out of the port; the scalded steams of dead flora crunching beneath our shoes. As we trekked further and further along, green and living plants started to appear again, and after a few minutes of walking the path, the sound of something eating caught my attention.
“Wait, shh,” Keke said just before I could. “There’s something in the bushes up ahead.”
There wasn’t anywhere for us to hide. Although if it was an Encroacher, it couldn’t have been very big. Maybe this was just the right opportunity to get Tristan back into the swing of things.
“Hey, Tris—”
Before I could get another word in, a dagger flew right by my face, nearly slicing my cheek open on the way. I looked over to where the blade flew and caught it as it disappeared inside of the bush, silencing whatever was in there. I looked back over to see Ara with a set of knives, one between each finger of her hand.
Ara looked at me for only a second, but her sharp gaze bore a level of determination I could find in few others. “Please stand back, Young Master. I will protect you.”

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