《The Ms. Megaton Man™ Maxi-Series》#150: Megahero Gossip
Advertisement
That was my spring 1985 semester in a nutshell, completing my first year of grad school.
It wasn’t the entire semester of course; just the main highlight. I still had several weeks of finishing up my classes, both those that I taught and those I was taking, along with seminars. But grading papers and all that stuff is boring, so you get the gist of it.
I did get a nice present from Imelda: she sent me a box of books curated from her collection, or came from the Border Worlds Used and Slightly New Bookstore. I don’t imagine she shoplifted them—hopefully she got a good employee discount. Still, I would have to buy her dinner next time I was in Ann Arbor, or get her a nice gift. The books were spooky, kind of frightening, in fact—all on the occult and comparative mythology and angels and demons and stuff. “I find a corollary between the notion of Multimensionals you mentioned in your talk,” she wrote in her accompanying note, “and the Bodhisattvas who stand guard between the dimensions. Let’s talk some more soon, after you read up on it.” Great, more homework.
I had a debriefing of sorts with Michele over at the Charles Merrill Ferry house; it was midweek and school was out so she closed the gallery with the Egyptian antiquities collection—technically the Helen Merrill Ferry Philological Institute of Oriental and Occidental Studies at Warren Woodward University—and we sat down on a Persian rug she rolled out right there in the middle of the gallery. She lit some incense and we sat down, cross-legged, Indian-style. She wore biker shorts and a loose-fitting tank top, no bra, I wore athletic shorts and a halter top. She had taken off her sandals, I my tennis shoes.
“I feel kind of left out,” I told her. Her eyes were closed; she was meditating, but listening intently.
“What makes you say that?” she asked.
“I just get the eerie sense that there are things going on that I’m no privy to, that I’m not being told about, because I’m so busy with school. I hardly had a megaheroic adventure at all this past semester, and I hardly get any news from the Troy+Thems—even Fanny, and they are all supposed to be my friends. Even Avie hasn’t mentioned the West Forest Knight Rangers for months.”
“Perhaps they just realize you’re busy with school and don’t want to burden you.”
“Yes, but I’m an auxiliary member,” I said. “I’m America’s Nuclear Powered Hero—by default, if nothing else. My real father’s gone from this dimension, and Trent’s retired …”
“You have your role to play,” said Michele. “We need more educated crime fighters, not another over-muscled, costumed goon.”
“Yes, but …”
“I don’t hear from them much, either, Clarissa, if it makes you feel any better. I could find out, telepathically, what they’re up to, but why bother? They’ve got it taken care of.”
“Did you know the they’ve fought UFOs and robots and a gang of megavillains from Jackson State Penitentiary?”
Advertisement
“I suppose I’ve heard rumbles to that effect.”
“It seems like my only interaction with megaheroes or the megaheroic life at all is when somebody comes to me on a personal level, needing a friend or whatever.”
“That’s a blessing, isn’t it? You’re trusted; they know you’ll understand. You’re one of them.”
“But I feel kinda underutilized in the adventure department. Not that I want to get my ass kicked all the time—it’s exhausting.”
“You’re being spared the rigors of a full-time megahero career,” intoned Michele. “Be thankful. There’s more where that came from; you’ll have plenty of adventures in the future; I can feel it.”
“I’m being saved for a rainy day,” I said. “Even Gene doesn’t tell me what going on …”
“Gene’s not a Troy+Them,” Michele pointed out. “Megaheroes don’t hang out swapping gossip all the time. There’s no newsletter you’re missing out on …”
“Except the Origin Legion,” I pointed out. “The retirees who hang out at that bar in Tudor City.”
“Let it go from your mind,” counseled Michele. “Relax, enjoy your time of tranquility. You’re a peripheral character in their world right now, but you’re the main character in your own. Don’t worry about other people’s realities; let them work it out. You’ll be involved soon enough.”
It was true; I didn’t know on a day-to-day basis what was going on in Troy, or Megatropolis, or with my next-door neighbor who was a premed student, or the accountant three blocks away.
“You don’t have to be in an alternate dimension to have separate realities,” said Michele. “Each of our lives is a separate reality, and here we all are, in one shared universe.”
***
I supposed the Asp was right—after all, she must have accumulated some wisdom after five-thousand years of reincarnation or whatever. As I walked the several blocks back to my apartment—after making love with Michele for over an hour—I realized I was just working though my typical post-semester let-down, the melancholy that always hit me after final exams.
It was a warm, hazy summer afternoon, overcast enough so as not to need sunglasses, and not yet the full-on humidity of summer. The Museum of Fine Arts, the public library, and Warren Woodward campus were all sparsely populated; it felt like off-season in the University-Cultural Center, typical of Midtown Detroit as summer fast approached.
When I walked in the front door of my apartment, acrid cigarette smoke hit my nostrils.
Secret Agent Preston Percy, in his dress shirt and tie, slacks, and polished shoes was using some sort of ceramic art thing Avie had bought at the last Ditty in the City as an ashtray.
“What the fuck are you smoking now?” I asked. “Cinnamon-flavored bidis or some shit? Christ, it’s acrid.” I cracked the window behind the sofa and looked about for the box fan.
“Nice seeing you, too, Clarissa,” said Preston. “Aren’t you wondering what brings me to your neck of the woods?”
Advertisement
“Didn’t I just see you in Troy? You could have debriefed me then. I just had a check-in with Michele—I’m still in the afterglow.”
“Mostly Preston’s here to drop me off,” announced Kozmik Kat, who marched into the living room from the hall leading to the kitchen. He had a plate of fried chicken he’d reheated and a bottle of Faygo Red Pop, and a tea towel wrapped around his neck as a bib.
“Hey, those are my leftovers!” I said.
“Don’t worry—you can order pizza later,” said Koz, plopping down on a beanbag chair my sister Avie had just acquired from a graduating senior in the theater department. “Where’s that slinky chick, Saxie? I haven’t seen her around.”
“You mean Dr. Sax?” I said. “Haven’t seen her for weeks. Don’t tell me you came back to Detroit because you’re hung up on a black cat that doesn’t even talk? That’s pervy.”
“A man has needs,” said Koz. “Even if that man happens to be a cat. But no, I came back to this rusty dump of a town because I’m outta the Megatropolis Quartet, and hanging around Bing has become insufferable. Yarn Man’s just tending bar full-time at the Origin Legion. He took an early retirement from the Quartet and gets paid under the table at Tudor City so he can still collect Social Security.”
“He’s not that old,” I said. Then, calculating in my mind, “Well, maybe he is. Rex is the only original member still in the Quartet, then?”
“There’s been a shake-up all around,” said Preston. “As you know, Rubber Brother and the Phantom Jungle Girl returned to Michigan; they’ve joined the Troy+Thems. Liquid Man has some new recruits—the Megatropolis Quartet now consists of Dana, the Quantum Leaper, and Big, Blue Bulky Guy.”
“Dana Dorman has gone to New York?” I said, surprised. “No wonder the weather in the Midwest is so tranquil.”
“She calls herself Dark Domina now,” said Preston. “Somehow, that strikes me as redundant. In any case, the four of them wear black costumes now; there’s a concern that Rex is rebranding them as a vengeful megavillain team.”
“You wouldn’t recognize Big, Blue Bulky Guy now,” said Koz, wiping fried chicken grease from is whiskers onto the tea towel. “He’s still big and blue, or course, but now he wears thick, black-rimmed Ray-Bans. He’s somehow learned to retain the intellectual side of his Mervyn Goldfarb persona when he’s all bulked out.”
“I was just talking to someone about how I’m out of the loop when it comes to megahero gossip,” I said. “Now I can see I’m not missing out on much—news from the megahero world is fairly boring. Is there anything I really need to know?”
“There is one thing,” said Preston, snuffing out his cigarette in the ceramic art thing. “We’ve picked up an object orbiting the earth …”
“You mean like the ICHHL killer satellite? The Blow Dryer? That isn’t exactly news.”
“Something else. Something just as big, but cloaked. We can’t get a good read on it …”
“Maybe the Soviets have caught up with America,” I conjectured. “Maybe they built an orbiting space station for their secret agents, too.”
“It’s not terrestrial,” said Preston.
“I told him it was from the Forbidden Future,” said Koz.
“Run into it with the hairdryer,” I said. “Even if it’s invisible …”
“First, we’d never use our multi-billion-dollar satellite as a battering ram,” said Preston. “And second, I told you, we can’t get a bead on it—it keeps projecting phantom images thousands of miles away. We don’t know which one’s which.”
“A starship from another galaxy,” I said. “I guess with the Partyers from Mars in the neighborhood, I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re not asking me to put on my Ms. Megaton Man uniform, fly up there, and check it out, are you? Because the last time I was up in the stratosphere—in fact, the only time—and you guys sucked me up with a tractor beam into the Blow Dryer, I nearly died from lack of oxygen, remember?”
“I’m not asking you to do anything,” said Preston, who set the ceramic art thing down on the coffee table and stood up. “It would be a fool’s errand—didn’t you hear me just say? We can’t even locate the darn thing for sure; we just know it’s there. I’m just giving you a head’s up.”
“What do they want?” I asked. “Are they just observing earth?”
“How the hell would I know? The point is, we’re keeping an eye on it, and if things change, it might be all hands on deck. You might actually have to earned that retainer you enjoy, courtesy of your grandmother, Clarissa.”
“Well, Kozmik Kat and I will remain alert,” I said.
Preston said goodbye to us and left, walking out the front door. We didn’t hug.
“You have a warm, friendly relationship with your secret agent handler,” Koz observed. “Can you get me another Red Pop?”
“Is there anymore chicken left?” I asked. “I’m hungry.”
***
That, my friends, is how my summer of 1985 began, what I’d later refer to as my Starship Summer. For all intents and purposes, I had long since become a peripheral character in my own megahero saga, more or less the narrator of other people’s adventures. Although, as you can tell if you read this far, I had a lot more going on in my life than megaheroics. One year of grad school down, one left to go. Strange objects orbiting the earth notwithstanding, I expected it to be uneventful, and for the most part, it was. But I’ll let you be the judge of that.
End of Volume V
Advertisement
- In Serial71 Chapters
Dragon Road: How I Rise in My New Life
Unbeknownst to most life in the vast universe, there exists worlds with life that nestle within cracks in the void of the physical plane of existence. Whether these worlds are the realms of the afterlife is unknown, but what is clear is that sometimes… some things… physical or not… real or not… tend to slip into the cracks… This is my story... Of how I died filled with regret, but was given a chance to live my new life (though not the way I expected) hoping to gain what I desire the most. Power... Women... and most important of all... Family. * Arc 1: An End and A Beginning * Arc 2: Journey to the New World * Arc 3: The All-Treasure Pavillion
8 226 - In Serial21 Chapters
Luck And Chronomancy
Time Magic is the best magic as everyone knows, although there are lots of unique Talents in the world. Most people only remember Haste because it is hard to get to higher Phases of Chronomancy. That is still enough to make the Talent iconic. A lucky enough Aleatory Talent can position you for greatness or leave you languishing in obscurity. The only true equality in the world is when that glowing message pops up at 8 years old. Even if it doesn't activate until you are an adult at 16 you still know. Sure you can find a new dungeon spawn and get another chance at a rare Talent, even this one, but you have to already be ready to delve into the *Far Wilds*, which is far easier with wealth or family power. This is the story of where my good fortune took me and the difference it made, even among a party of 7 others including an Arcanist. It is a journey of magic and monsters but also math, which some think is actually worse. Luckily I was born with Intelligence and Focus as my personal traits, and my parents were scholars. Of course Chronomancy can also be a frontline combat talent. Versitility well beyond other Elder Talents like Gravity, Abstraction, or Arcana. Might could have worked for me, too. I also met a runaway princess. All the best adventures have a princess. She hated being a noble and we didn't get married but it still counts. Besides she really filled out our front line. All that Leadership training came in handy. I still don't know where she's from. Who cares? How well Haste goes with giant hammers is what's important. I never learned much about anyone in the party, except the one I grew up with. I'm not a people person. I just wanted to optimize dungeon clearing time. *******Story Details******* No romance, politics, or traumatizing content, slice of life, or even dialogue. 1st person narration, like a guide/adventure log. 2000-7000 words a day, maybe 40-60% rpgish combat log with some reasoning on combat decisions, with the rest character Talent discussion and progression stuff. 8 person party with a decent variety in roles. Party members usually have 2 primary functions. Told from the support/control Chronomancer's perspective. Each party member will have 6 Basic/Background Traits, then 3 actual Talents with abilities. Capstone from their Educational Institution, Arbritrary as a gift from the temples, and Aleatory which is decided at birth, revealed at 8, and activated after adulthood at 16. Aleatory Traits ignore requirements and are random why is why they are so important. They'll gain new Talents from finding Dungeons to consume in the *Wilds*. Mature dungeons in cities can provide *Challenges* to raise the Phase of a Talent, up to 3 times from 1 to 4. Each character will get to roughly 8 non-Trait Talents. Attributes come exclusive from Talents, are required by Talents, and provide various effects as well. I designed about 220 Talents with abilities, 4 in each of 4 phases. "Traits" are just Attribute stuff. I'm not sure how many will be detailed in the story, more than 100 for sure. I used Talents because I want to be free of the legacy of tabletop. Half those rules are just because of the limitations inherent in a pre-computer ttrpg. This story mostly uses combat Talents, although like 1/3 of the 220 are for crafting and other society and economy stuff. If you really wanted to be a Thief you might take Intuition, Awarness, and Might for Basic Traits and Deftness, Manipulation, and Trickery for Family/Education. Then you'd pick Acrobatics, and Climbing for Educational Capstone and Arbitrary traits. You Aleatory Trait might be Shadow(Light/Dark) Magic, Umbramancy. A Bard might swap Dexterity for Charisma, Music for Acrobatics, and have gotten Illusion(Shadow/Sound(Air/Force)) for their Aleatory Trait.
8 193 - In Serial31 Chapters
Gaea
A short novel about interstellar colonization, the dangers of scientific discovery, and the end of the world. Image credit goes to Space Engine.
8 162 - In Serial200 Chapters
The Great Villain is Not to Be Trifled With (PART 1) (MTL)
WARNING!!! A machine translation novel!Story and cover photo are not mine. Credits to the rightful owner!♥️For offline purposes only!!!🤍Title : The Great Villain is Not to Be Trifled With (PART 1)Author : 小五月Status in coo : Completed (2028 Chapters)---Ling Qingxuan, the elder of the cultivation world's top sect, died. Dying in the most dubious way, she was bonded to a system that calls itself Hei Pizhu (Black-skinned pig- sounds similar to HAPPY pig)."Dear host, system number ZZ at your service, completing the mission will allow you to be revived~!"Ling Qingxuan: "No." She already lived for thousands of years, she was sick of living, can't it just directly destroy her body?"Ok host, let's begin our mission~~"The emotionless her who lived for thousands of years is now forced to accept the mission of un-blackening the villain. Thus, Ling Qingxuan started her journey on this ....increasingly more and more troubling path.Ling Qingxuan: " ZZ, why is the villain holding my hand?"ZZ: " The weather is too cold."Ling Qingxuan: "ZZ, why is the villain hugging me?"ZZ: "The weather is too cold."Ling Qingxuan : "ZZ, the villain pulled me under the covers, has the weather been very cold recently?"ZZ: "Oh gosh! Villain, I'm warning you to be nice!"
8 197 - In Serial19 Chapters
The Playboy Space Traveler
After escaping a near death experience, Bai Zenguang found out that he got a God-like ability that is going to change his life,the ability is space travel. No matter what world it is, movie, anime or manga, as long as he has a Travel Card and ticket he could travel there.
8 108 - In Serial35 Chapters
A lot of Michaels and They all meet Wengie
Ben, the two of us need look no moreWe both found what we were looking forWith a friend to call my ownI'll never be alone, and you, my friend, will seeYou've got a friend in meBen, you're always running here and thereYou feel you're not wanted anywhereIf you ever look behind and don't like what you findThere's something you should know, you've got a place to goI used to say I and me, now it's us, now it's weI used to say I and me, now it's us, now it's weBen most people would turn you awayI don't listen to a word they sayThey don't see you as I doI wish they would try to'I'm sure they'd think again if they had a friend like BenA friend like Ben(Like Ben)Like Ben
8 185

