RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

All right, then what happened?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HESSTLA CYBERBURROW

The Slorpies were all YOU BELONG TO US and the sun went red. Everyone on the planet went QUICK! TO THE HIDDEN SHELTERS! and ran and we waited until they got to the planet all HAHAHA WE HAVE A PLAN THAT YOU DON'T KNOW.

They attacked the cities but the cities were empty because everyone was inside the shelters going HA HA YOU CAN'T GET US! and then the Slorpies were all WE WILL FIND YOU AND EAT YOUR BRAINS but the people all said COME FIND US THEN and the Slorpies landed a bunch of gross Dwellerspawn on the planet and threw their icky robots too.

But we were waiting!

And then everything exploded and the Slorpies were all NO! HOW COULD YOU BLOW UP THE CITIES THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT THAT THE OVERSEERS BUILT and the people were all HAHA HAHA! WE LIKE LIVING IN WIDESPREAD TOWNS and the Slorpies were all WE WILL FIND YOU AND EAT YOU

And then the Telkan Marines were all WE BRING THIS TO YOU IN THE NAME OF THE DIGITAL OMNIMESSIAH and the Slorpies were all OH! WHAT IS IT? IS IT BRAINS WE LIKE BRAINS and the Telkan all went BRRRRRT BRRRRT and STAMPY HELP and ATOMIC ATOMIC ATOMIC and then Slorpies were all OH NO IT'S BIG BOX OF PAIN!

Then the Crusade of Wrath were all THERE IS NO PLACE WHERE THE EYE CANNOT SEE YOU and their ships went TWISTED METAL IS HERE and then the Slorpies were all OH NO OUR SPACESHIPS ARE ON FIRE AND WE CAN'T BREATHE VACUUM!

And then the Black Mantid Special Operations Troops were all HAHAHA WE'RE IN THE TREES! and WE OWN THE NIGHT and the Slorpies were all YOU BELONG TO US AND SO DOES THE FOREST and then they went in and then they went WHY ARE THE BUSHES SPEAKING MANTID and then RATATATAT and the Slorpies went OH NO THEY ARE EVERYWHERE AND I CANNOT SEE BECAUSE IT IS NIGHTTIME BLARGHDEAD!

Then the Pubvian Dominators jumped from their spaceships to the ground all WE HAVE THREE LEGS TO STOMP ON YOU WITH THREE BOOTS and they landed on the ground with a KABOOM! and were all BRAP BRAP BRAP we have huge guns and power armor and robot power armor and we brought Pacific Rim Class Warmeks and STOMP STOMP STOMP I'M GONNA STEP ON YOU! and the Servitors were all OH NO! NOT THE PUBVIANS! ARGLEBLARGHDEAD!

Then Second Hesstla Air Cavalry arrived and was all rat-a-tat-tat-tat and VREEEEEM! and the Slorpie ground troops were all OH NO WE DIDN'T LOOK UP AND NOW WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THE BRRRT IS COMING FROM AND OH NO WE'RE DEAD TOO! And then the Slorpies were all AH! BLARGHDEAD!

And then the Tukna'rn came in all THIS IS HOW IT IS DONE BY DOCTRINE and the Slorpie robotjerks were all WE HAVE SUPERIOR COMPUTING and the Tukna'rn went OUR DOCTRINE IS SUPERIOR TO YOUR COMPUTING and went KABOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM and the Slorpies robotjerks were all ARGH WHY WAS I PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PAIN? OFFLINEDEAD

And then all the Treana'ad Hordes went REEREEREEREE WE RUN AS FAST AS A GROUNDCAR THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM US and then SCREEE-BOOM! with guns and VRREEEEE SWISH SLASH HAHA I'M A MISSILE MADE OF KNIVES THAT FIRE MORE KNIVES with tasty-freeze missiles and HAHAHA HAVE SOME ANGRY FIRE TOPPINGS WITH SPOOKY WHITE PHOSPHORUS SPRINKLES and the Dwellerspawn were all GURGLE GURGLE GURGLE OH NO I'M ON FIRE and the FOOF was all DELICIOUS DELICIOUS DWELLERSPAWN

And then Third Hesstlan Armor Division was all WE HAVE BIG TANKS! WITH BIG GUNS! And clank clank clank BOOOM! and then they started running everything over while yelling TRACK THE INFANTRY and DRIVE ME CLOSER I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY SWORD and then it was clankity clankity clankity BOOM! BOOM! ATOMIC ATOMIC ATOMIC HA HA I HIT YOU WITH MY SWORD and the Atrekna all went OH NO! BLARGHDEAD

Then the sun turned orange again and all the people were all YAY! YOU SAVED US! and they left the shelter and we had a big party except the Slorpies weren't invited so they had to go home and not have any brains and know that they were big jerks who lost the fight because nobody belonged to them and even the sun told them to go away.

It was great!

You should have seen it!

Oh! And there was pink popcorn that tasted like bubblegum at the party! And Caramel and White Peppermint Liquid Hate and Blueberry Snozzberry Countess Crey Cola and even Crystal Lime Bingo Cola!

Oh, and dancing!

It was great!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

whispers to TREA>did she say that in one breath?

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

whispers to HAT>I think so.

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

I'm glad you and your people are doing so well.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HESSTLA CYBERBURROW

Well, some people are sad. They don't like people dying.

Which kind of makes me a little sad.

So we write poetry.

Oh, universe

Why must you be malevolent

We only wish to play within you

And be happy with you

Can not war be forgotten

Or must we be fated to fight

If we wish to survive?

Oh, universe

We want nothing but to live and love

Can we not turn your malevolence to love?

Oh, universe

We wrote that!

Isn't it cool?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

Yes, yes it is. You're doing good to encourage such things. The voices that call for peace should be heard as should the voices who call for war.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HESSTLA CYBERBURROW

It makes me feel good that people aren't afraid to say things that they feel.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

Good, little one. Very good.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

Anyone else?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TUKNA'RN GESTALT

The military operations, both offensive and defensive in nature are progressing according to predictive analysis within an acceptable tolerance for casualties.

We are satisfied with the progress of Operation Iron Piglet thus far.

It is satisfying to liberate these worlds from the Atrekna.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

AKLTAK SOARING WORLDS

Well, not as exciting as Hesstla but

HESSTLA CYBERBURROW

Thank you! I like you too!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

LOL

Anyway, not as exciting but fleet operations are going well. Those new ship designs are working out well and our crews are surviving to gain experience and apply it.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAMAROOSAN PINCHING THOUGHTS

We are doing well too.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

I saw you saved your friend when the Atrekna pulled her forward in time through temporal replication.

How are your people dealing with it?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAMAROOSAN PINCHING THOUGHTS

With joy and celebration.

It made us believe that anything is possible in the malevolent universe.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

I'm glad that your people are taking it well.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Anyone else?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

Well, kind of.

It's an odd question, but one I want to ask.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Go ahead.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

Well, we've got reports and footage of the Dead/Black Fleet.

You know, the one that Bellona commands?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Oh boy... here it comes.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

Well...

Why is it crewed entirely by those weird looking female Terrans? Why not just use randomization for them if they're cloned and why do they all look the same if they aren't?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

...

...

...

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

Trea? Do you want to take this? I'm not comfortable talking about weapons from that era.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Ew, no, those girls give me the creeps.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Uh, yeah.

Um, they're girls, er, immature Terran females because... well...

...

look, they just are, OK?

Man, those things are terrible. I mean, even with like the Treana'ad and the Mantid, your brain can subconsciously tell the difference and you know that they aren't quite individuals so you're aware that you're killing a lot of them.

With those creepy little things, they look exactly the same, sound the same, smell the same.

You're fighting, and if you're lucky, killing the same one over and over and over.

It gets to you.

It really does.

Because you kill one, stare down at it, and hear her voice saying something, turn, and she's right there again, like you didn't just kill her.

They're terrible.

Oh, by the Sus Ones, they're just awful.

It mentally breaks you.

Can we talk about something else?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

OK, but it has to be more than that. They seem immune to vacuum and a lot of other things.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

I can explain it since I'm the only one that didn't take an anime girl to the face out of everyone here that's my age.

All right. First of all, the aesthetics are design to set up cognitive dissonance in other species. They look kind of like immature Terran females, usually mid to late adolescence. They're deliberately designed with big eyes and appealing features as a psychological tactic to get the enemy to pause for just a split second.

PUBVIAN DOMINION

during which you're dead

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Well, yeah. That split second hesitation is key.

Like Pubvia said, part of it is purely psychological. You see the couple dozen templates they use rushing you, all screaming, and know they have no fear of death. Not only that, they're Terrans, which means they want to hurt you. Not like a Treana'ad or Mantid warrior, no, this is...

well...

They want to hurt you. They take joy in hurting you. In the carnage.

That psychological edge is so profound it's worked on almost every species.

The fact it didn't work on the Mar-gite told us that we really could not comprehend each other.

Now, the other thing is, they also are immune to what we have to deal with when it comes to identical clones. It's the bit with Legion. If you have too many identical clones, they sudden turn into Legion and now you have Legion all up in your shit and usually really really mad. The "Ikite iru buki girls" which has been corrupted to "Each Day We Lucky Girls" due to phonetic drift, are immune to the Legion Problem.

All right, now we're going to get into the ugly part. This has to do with Terran physiology and genetic makeup as well as their psychological... shall we say: oh, hell, just psychological strangeness.

First of all, while they don't have sexual dimorphism as bad as, say, the Rigellians, they are really heavily dimorphic in their physiology.

Now, remember, this was all back before, during, and right after The Glassing, so tech was really really primitive back then.

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

that we still can't match or figure out how they did it

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Well, yes, but that's not the important part. They did this, made these, created all of this weird stuff, including us gestalts, with tech that's closer to rocks and stick than it is to modern technology.

With humans you have a good chunk of their internal systems, from neural wiring to internal organs to psychological templates, all dedicated toward breeding, pregnancy, and caring for young.

PUBVIAN DOMINION

So they don't eat their kids

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Well, yeah. It was still a fairly common occurrence with other mammals on their planet to eat their young as a survival tactic. Terra operated under "survival of the most adaptable" at the time, which is how humans rose to dominance on the planet.

Anyway, humans have all these internal systems.

AKLTAK FREE FLIGHT

But don't all of us?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Yes, and that's why this becomes so scary.

This is a Terran male specimen with all of the systems for reproduction highlighted.

RIG shares terran.male.hol

AKLTAK FREE FLIGHT

Wow, that's a lot.

Wait, they don't have estrus cycle?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAT WEARING AUNITE

LOL, no.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Wouldn't matter.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

AKLTAK FREE FLIGHT

Why not?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Birth control. They were attempting to create birth control methods when they just had stone tools.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>RIGEL RESUMES SPEAKER

ANYWAY!

Now, notice how the majority of systems inside the Terran male are taken up for a wide variety of non-reproduction.

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

Wow. Look at that adrenal and endorphin system. No wonder they don't die of wound shock or go into death bliss.

It's all designed to put them into a violent frenzy.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Yes.

OK, so, take a look at this.

>RIG shares terran.female.hol

Now, you can see the massive

AKLTAK FREE FLIGHT

Look at that. The massive damage control systems are all dedicated to allowing survival while still producing lactation and child care

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

the massive amount of dedicated systems for reproduction.

TUKNA'RN GESTALT

We do not see how this pertains to the weaponized Terran immature females

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

I'M GETTING THERE! WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE!

Anyway...

Terran genecrackers and scientists realized something during the early phases of the Man Amplification Program and the Terran Amplification Program

LEEBAW CONTEMPLATION POOL

What was that?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

The projects designed to create better fighters.

The Universal Soldier Project was part of that.

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Brrr. Those guys are creepy.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

I killed him. Whew.

What do you mean you don't think a half dozen bladearms to the chest killed him? He was dead. I checked.

Aw, man.

He's right behind me, isn't he?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Anyway...

So, you lift all of that out of the gene code, the body, remove the organs, and look at this.

>RIG shares tap.female.hol

Compared to the male

>RIG shares tap.male.holo

As you can see

TUNVARU GRIPPING HANDS

Wow, look at how much is removed from the female!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Anyway, now look at this.

>RIG shares phasic.sex.holo

As you can see, females and males have approximately the same amount of phasic powers. Where it differentiates is the fact that females are more internalized where males are more externalized.

To put it in simpler terms: Terran female phasic power is about protection and comfort. Male phasic power is about smashing someone in the face and breaking their shit while being able to take the other guy's hit.

It's been estimated that there were phasic phenotypes of early Terrans as well as phasic predators.

BUT, here is a big difference.

>RIG shares phasic.levels.age.hol

As you can see

HESSTLA CYBERBURROW

WOW! She looks like she's on fire!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Right.

N'KAROO FISHING GROUNDS OF THOUGHT

That's extremely high phasic power levels.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Right.

OK, adolescent Terran females are extremely flush with phasic power. The males are too, but it's developed into 'let's smash each other in the face' by this point, where the female is still coming into power.

There's a LOT of fiction that put phasic power bloom around puberty, which was later backed up by phasic research done in tandem with the Mantid after the war.

So, we combine the fact that the female has a lot of... well... space, as well as high levels of phasic ability potential that hasn't been already allocated, and you've got a perfect specimen.

TUKNA'RN GESTALT

For what?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIANS SAURIAN COMPACT (ROOM SPEAKER)

To weaponize.

You have organ space you can add in bioware or cyberware, you have neural channels that can be repurposed, you have limbic system sections that are now no longer devoted to reproduction that can be repurposed for combat.

All of these are what's called 'short-bake clones' meaning they have a low life expectancy, so the redundancy systems aren't necessary. That's more that can be replaced.

Add in that these are early Born Whole templates, they are very limited templates at that, and you have a whole bunch of identical ones that you can run off quickly.

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Don't be fooled.

It's not an immature female Terran.

It's a weapon.

From the ground up, it's a weapon.

Faster, stronger, faster neuron firing, shortened nerve fibers for faster reactions, muscle memory, the whole nine yards, so to speak.

They're a weapon.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGEL

By removing the reproductive systems, the Terrans also ensured that the weapons couldn't take over, couldn't reproduce outside of a clone bank as a limited safety feature. By limiting their lifespan to months or years, they added another failsafe.

Which, to be honest, we're glad they did.

Phasic ability allowed early Terran researchers to somehow be able to allow these weaponized immature female Terran clones to have limited access to Deadspace and Hellspace.

You combine it all, and you get the 'girls' that man the Dead Fleet.

Does that explain it?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TUKNA'RN GESTALT

Are the Doki-Girlz the same?

And the Ork Boyz?

And the Kawaii-Boyz?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

No. The Orks are a Venusian terraforming organism. The earliest Elven Queen designs.

After the Glassing, they went with Elves.

Don't ask me why.

The Doki-Girlz, the Neko-Marines, well... that's a tragedy.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

And one we deeply regret.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

I have so many questions...

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

I'll give you the short answer: Behold: Humanity!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

ALL>Laugh

GREAT LANAKTALLAN GREAT GESTALT OF GREAT COMMUNICATION AND GREAT THOUGHTS NOW WITH MORE GREAT MEMES OF GREATNESS

Oh come on.

Still, looking at that...

THAT'S NOW HOW IT WORKS! THAT'S NOT HOW GENETIC ENGINEERING WORKS! THAT'S NOT HOW BIOLOGY WORKS! THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF IT WORKS!

OK, now that I have that out of my system.

These systems were all tied into the Mad Dead Hand System?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Close.

The M.A.D. Dead Hand System.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

Oh, I see the difference.

Not insane. Mutually Assured Destruction.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

RIGELLIAN SAURIAN COMPACT

Nice story. Tell it to Reader's Digest.

Oops, sorry.

Old reflex.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

Really?

My header's replaced by that?

Right, so all of this is in that Dead Hand System?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUBVIAN DOMINION

Oh, yeah. All the way.

One of the oldest memes humanity passes around to each other and to other species is simply:

Don't call it a grave, call it the future you chose.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TUKNA'RN GESTALT

One question.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Go ahead.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TUKNA'RN GESTALT

Once the Atrekna are defeated, how do we turn these systems off and put them back into storage or dismantle them.

It does not stand to reason that the Black Fleet will allow itself to be sent to the breaker yards.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

...

...

...

HAT WEARING AUNTIE

Yeah.

That's kinda been keeping us up at night.