"When the Friend Plague came, most of us were sick and dying within months. It passed rapidly, seemingly able to breach containment protocols, even invade P3 and P4 labs. Nobody was sure what it even was at first. Everything was blamed, from toxic microfungi to solar radiation to some kind of evolutionary genetic failure point.

"It turned out to be a virus brought back from a space mission.

"The NASA center in Houston burned for a week. People were strung up on lampposts. Mobs attacked aerospace and space industries. Factories burned, people were lynched, it was complete anarchy as normally level headed people went insane with grief as the mass die-offs gained momentum.

"We begged, we pleaded, from our sickbeds, to please stop killing each other.

"They listened to us, because they loved us.

"The last thing I saw before I was put under cryo at Fort Sam Houston was a man's face looking through the crysteel at me. His face was wet with tears as he put his hand onto the crysteel. The pain, the longing, the agony, is something that I will never forget.

"Now we are back.

"And they are gone.

"And it hurts so badly that sometimes I can't breathe." - Tabitha "Mittens" Handford, SSG, Hamburger Kingdom Army, Special Tasks.

"Doki." - Neko-Marine.

The Kaiju has apparently decided that the square-cube law had no authority or jurisdiction over it. It was plainly obvious just from the sheer size of the creature.

It bent down, staring at Vuxten's supine form with its forward two eyes. The nostrils blew mucus all over Vuxten, who was already covered with glowing blue blood.

--not again-- 471 transmitted.

Vuxten's hand flashed toward his Cutting Bar Mark Two.

The creature suddenly darted downward, its mouth opening, and it grabbed Vuxten as well as the dirt for five meters on either side and a meter down in its mouth and stood up.

Vuxten reacted without thinking, slamming his boots against the massive tongue, rolling slightly, and punching his left hand deep into the muscle of the tongue, finding something half solid and wrapping his hand around it. It squished in his hand and he could feel it pulsing against his fingers as he tightened his grip to as tight as the armor would permit.

Everyone else saw the eight legged Kaiju class Dwellerspawn snatch up Vuxten and then throw its head back and start chewing and swallowing.

Vuxten held onto the tongue as it rippled beneath him, his right hand grabbing his SMG off his belt. He pointed it at the convulsing tissue of the throat that was the size of a subway tunnel and pulled the trigger. The rounds punched into the tissue and exploded, showering him with blood and gore.

The divots were like pinpricks on a wall. The throat was big enough to swallow a striker.

"HEDP rockets!" Vuxten snapped as the tongue convulsed again.

--forging-- 471 said, feeling the breathable kinetic gel around him roil as the armor was flung around, Vuxten holding onto a vein with one hand.

Below, everyone saw the Kaiju make swallowing motions then open its mouth to roar out a bellow that made the ground shake and could be felt through armor.

Tanks were firing, Telkan were sprinting up to fire rockets at it. A Treana'ad rocket gunner swapped out Tasty-Freeze for Unicorn Swirl Confetti, dancing to the side as a servitor tank sailed through the air and hit the ground right next to him. The Telkan next to him dove to the ground as the tank, shedding parts, passed over him by less than a meter.

Servitors were running out of the fighting positions, screaming and firing their weapons. The Hesstlan tanks were roaring as the drivers didn't even bother with bunker busters, just drove the 1,000 tonne tanks over the fighting positions, threw it in reverse, backed over it, then rolled over it again. The guns on the tanks were firing at the dozen Kaiju that had manifested.

The Commander of 7th Armor Regiment lit a cigarette, staring around himself, his bladearms behind his back as he surveyed the whirling nightmare of chaos and blood around him. His helmet was folded up into his high collar, his rifle was still slung and his pistol was still holstered.

Colonel Brett T'Klakak glanced over to where a Hesstlan tank was busy rocking back and forth on a fighting position. He touched his implant.

"Turn six degree port and move forward about ten meters, that'll crush the generator you're after," he said.

The tank pulled back, rotated slightly, and rolled forward.

The generator exploded under the outside port track.

"Hmm, yes," the Colonel said.

The big Kaiju that had snapped up Major Vuxten stuck its head forward, extending out frills to either side of its head, and screeched, staring directly at the Colonel.

The Colonel calmly drew his pistol, leveling it across one bladearm.

Several of his troops just stared as the Kaiju inhaled sharply, obviously intending on breathing fire or worse all over the Colonel.

"BANG!" the Colonel yelled.

The entire back of the base of the Kaiju's skull exploded outward in blue blood and rags of flesh. The breath was exhaled as a flood of glowing blue blood that spilled across the ground as the Kaiju dropped like its strings were cut.

The Colonel holstered his pistol and took a drag off his cigarette as the smoking luminescent blue blood rushed at him, only to stop in the powdery dirt and dust less than a meter from his feet.

"Major, quick dicking around checking its teeth and get out here," the Colonel yelled over his speaker.

The mouth pushed open and a unique set of Telkan power armor crawled out, getting to his feet, the blood covering his armor smoking.

Vuxten ran a function check. The M318, his rifle, his SMG, and his pistol were all intact. His 66mm rocket launcher was fouled, same with his 40mm grenade launcher, but 471 was already running the actions to clear them.

He staggered over next to the Colonel, who was watching as another Kaiju took a set of hits to the bottom of the throat from a trio of Hesstlan tanks. The throat exploded, spilling ichor that burst into flame down the front of its body. It gave a deep groan and collapsed.

"Gojira they ain't," the Colonel said, exhaling smoke.

Vuxten just nodded.

"Saw a Gojira once," the Colonel mused. "It was asleep. Old Mantid world. Big sucker, covered in flowering vines," he shook his head. "Radioactivity was so high you could fry an egg on a rock, but the planet was a lush jungle of heavy metal laden plants. You could run a fission reactor off of a tomato grown on that world."

Vuxten stood there listening as high-vee rounds whipped by, lasers cracked around them, and a sonic weapon threw a buzzing packet by them.

A servitor burst out of a spider hole, jumping up and running at the Colonel, screaming its insectoid war cry, an empty rifle tipped with a vibroblade leading the way.

"Always wanted," the Colonel said. He flicked his cigarette at the screaming servitor, causing it to flinch.

"To see a Lolita Sorceress," he continued, stabbing out with one bladearm without looking. The bladearm ripped through the servitor's armor like tissue.

"Of the Sailor Moon Sisterhood," he finished, whipping the bladearm back out and flicking the blood off of it. He turned and looked at Vuxten. "Wouldn't that be a hell of a thing?"

"Uh, yes, sir," Vuxten said.

"Hmm," the Colonel said, crossing his bladearms behind his back as he lit a cigarette. "Cheeky bugger got half my smoke."

--wish we were that cool-- 471 said.

The Colonel looked up and touched his datalink.

"Net push net push net push," he barked. "Incoming starfall, check your positions!"

Vuxten looked around. Flashing, expanding rings of pink and white were appearing on the ground with a line-art cat's head in the middle of the inner circle.

"Oh, Digital Omnimessiah," Vuxten said.

"Now, now, Major, don't be a speciest," the Colonel chided. "The Idiots and the Neko-Marines are valued parts of the Terran M.A.D. program and the Confederacy's Total War order of battle."

"I'm not a speciest," Vuxten protested. "It's just, I..."

"You're worried they'll show you special affection since you fought next to their Dying Joan?" the Colonel asked. He touched his datalink. "Hesstla 7-5-14, you're gonna get hit right on the back deck unless you pull forward about a hundred meters."

He listened for a second.

"Well, run them over," the Colonel said. "Bunker's clear of friendlies."

One of the tanks roared forward, tracks clattering the roadwheels on the outside starboard track throwing sparks and dirt as the crew drove it on the roadwheels. It slammed into the side of the bunker, crushed the side into rubble, then began climbing the rubble.

"Boots," the Colonel sighed, shaking his head. "Boots never change."

The fire was getting more distant as the members of 7th Armor Regiment pushed back the T-gated enemy back or killed them. Medics were climbing on the tank that had been thrown by the explosion when the Kaiju materialized.

Vuxten could see they had pulled at least two surviving Hesstla out of it.

A troop ran up, armor design a little different than Vuxten was use too. They had a Special Tasks flash on the shoulder and stopped to look around for a second. They touched the side of their helmet for a moment, looked around, then pointed over at where there was a crater in the ground.

FIDO and Simba units were bounding across the ground, heading for the crater, with four soldiers hustling after them.

"Captain Fluffmodeus, Foxtrot Company, Third Special Tasks, sir," the trooper said, their visor still opaque.

"What can I do for you, Captain?" the Colonel asked.

"My men are going to set up a forward mortar pit as well as a slush replacement site," the trooper said.

"Very good, Captain," Colonel Brett T'Klakak said.

Another troop ran up, a Kobold. Vuxten recognized Lieutenant Colonel Dartrum, commander of Second Infantry Regiment.

"There you are, Major," the Kobold panted. He looked around then jerked a thumb at the dead Kaiju only a few dozen meters away. "Your work, huh?"

"Yes, sir," Vuxten said.

"THIRTY SECONDS TO IMPACT!" the Colonel barked out across the comlink.

Vuxten looked up. The drop pods were exiting the clouds as solid bars of white, the clouds seeming to catch on fire as they exited.

Vuxten checked around real quick, saw a pair of Telkan were at the edge of an impact icon and 'bumped' them via comlink. They looked behind them and repositioned, ducking down behind a ruck as a servitor spotted them and started pinging shots at them.

A Treana'ad missile gunner saw the flashes of the servitor weapon and answered with a Tasty-Freeze missile.

The servitor fighting position vanished in a spray of dirt, chitin, and gore.

The sky was suddenly full of falling drop pods, all of them firing their last minute retrorockets, the flames shooting out of the bottom pink and white as the pods screamed in and then smashed into the ground hard enough that Vuxten could feel it through his boots.

The sides dropped down and out stepped eight suits of heavy power armor from the Imperium Era. Vuxten knew that despite the common misconception, their armor wasn't copies of Imperium power armor.

The Imperium had copied them.

Thick limbs, heavy angular armor daubed white and pink with graffiti scrawled on it. Half of them had torches on their back that erupted with pink and white flames. Banners sprang up and unfurled, showing flashing emojis and strange images.

They moved smoothly, deploying their weapons, looking around.

One moved up to the Colonel and nodded before babbling out a string of emoji-engrish.

The Colonel nodded. "Welcome to the battle, Baby Sister Joan," he said. He waved around. "I've taken the liberty of assigning sectors for your men."

More babbling and Vuxten saw on the banner behind the armored troop a cartoon image of the Colonel appear, surrounded by moon-faced cat-girls all waving pompoms and shooting into the air.

"Yes, there will be more Kaijus. Precursors have bad pattern recognition, they'll try it a few more times until they realize that modern weaponry can knock out a kaiju class even faster than an Ohm class," the Colonel said.

Vuxten saw the Captain coming back up. The crater was full of Simbas and FIDOs all getting their mass tanks reloaded. Several of the larger nanoforge and creation engine slush containers were being unloaded from a tracked vehicle.

The Neko-Marine was still babbling, the Colonel nodding along.

Vuxten wondered where the Colonel had learned Engrish-Emoji.

The Captain stopped, waiting for the large armored troop to finish speaking to the Colonel.

They popped their faceplate, spitting out a piece of stimgum, and Vuxten saw the Captain for the first time.

They looked almost like a Neko-Marine. At first Vuxten thought it was a Neko-Marine. Feline eyes, feline face, triangle nose, sharp carnivore teeth, all showed that the Captain was not a Neko-Marine.

The Neko-Marine suddenly stopped speaking.

Vuxten was aware of every Neko-Marine suddenly stopping still. Perfectly still.

As if they had been turned to stone.

In one smooth motion they all turned to look at the Captain.

"Spare a brother officer a smoke, Colonel?" the Captain asked, her language translated by the vocoder in her armor.

The Colonel lit a smoke and passed it to the Captain.

The Neko-Marine just stared.

"Thanks, sir," the Captain said. She looked at the Neko-Marine. "Who's this? My armor's throwing ID errors."

"Koh-Neekoh?" Vuxten heard the Neko-Marine say. "Kitt-ah?"

The Captain turned. "What?"

The Neko-Marine reached up and pulled off her helmet, revealing her moon face, her pink and white striped hair, the pink and white fur on her face, her wide blue eyes.

"A cat girl?" the Captain said. "What?"

"KITTY!" the Neko-Marine shouted.

She started jumping up and down, clapping her hands together.

"KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY!" she chanted.

The Captain stepped back, looking around.

"KITTY!" the Neko-Marines shouted together.

"Stand fast, Captain. Do not run," the Colonel said. "They have not seen you in eight thousand years."

The Neko-Marines ran up, all dropping down to one knee, their heads down, their left fist pressed against the dirt, the right hand extended out.

"Kitty kitty kitty," Vuxten could hear them murmur. "Mew mew. Mew mew. Kitty kitty."

"Give me a secure channel to the Captain," Vuxten said.

--working-- 471 said. After a second there was a metallic clink. --go ahead--

"Captain, this is Major Vuxten. Don't reply. Don't move. Stand there and look at them, lift your chin slightly," Vuxten said.

The Captain nodded slightly.

A 105mm maser screamed by overhead, but the Neko-Marines didn't even flinch.

"The big one, kneeling next to the Colonel, reach out, touch the top of her head, say 'Kawaii', then move on," Vuxten said. He could feel the sweat running down his back. "They're having a religious experience."

The Captain nodded slightly, following Vuxten's instructions.

"Move to each one, touch their head, say 'Kawaii', and move on. For eight thousand years they've kept the faith and now you are here," Vuxten said. "Not descendants, these girls were there when the Mantid glassed Terra. They're hyperviolent, insane, and religious fanatics. They're also nearly immortal."

Tracers whipped by, clanked off the side of a tank, and howled away.

The bigger Neko-Marine turned, leveling her heavy submachine gun, and triggered a burst, wrath on her face.

The heavy machinegun nest exploded.

The Captain moved to each one, touching the top of their helmet, the top of their bare head, in a few cases an upraised face with closed eyes and tear wetted fur.

"When you finish, stand next to the Colonel, that will transfer authority to him," Vuxten said, bringing the Colonel in on the channel.

To Vuxten the battle seemed to recede, as if it was happening somewhere else, as he watched the feline trooper move through the ranks of weeping Neko-Marines. Finally she moved next to the Colonel, who put one hand on her shoulder.

"Order your troops to take your positions, Baby Sister Joan," the big Treana'ad commanded.

The bigger one nodded. She gave out shouts of emojis, then slapped her helmet on.

The Neko-Marines scattered.

Vuxten sighed and relaxed.

"Well, that was tense," the Colonel said. He looked at the Lieutenant Colonel. "Wouldn't you agree?"

The Lieutenant Colonel nodded. "Very."

"Who... who are they?" the Captain asked, her voice shaking. She took a deep drag off the cigarette.

"A terrible thing," The Kobold LTC said softly.

"Aw, they're good girls," the Treana'ad drawled. He turned and surveyed the battlefield again. "They just need headpats and a place to nap."

--as long as someone shoots at them now and then-- 471 said.

Vuxten just nodded.

"Welp, gentlemen, ladies, both and neither," the Colonel said, drawing his pistol. "Let's get this moo moo milked and under control."

A servitor stood up from the wreckage of a bunker, kneeling, a rocket launcher over its shoulder.

The Colonel fired and the servitor vanished in the explosion of the warhead detonating.

The Colonel holstered his weapon. "Let's get it on."

--wish we were that cool-- 471 repeated.