《The not-immortal Blacksmith》77.1 The Not-Immortal Blacksmith – H&H 5: The Taco Truck
Advertisement
The barn was cozy, not to warm, not to cold, just perfect. The regular suspects were sitting around the table as the map was laid out and dice were gathered. Then the bomb was dropped.
“Hey, Mil? Did you know your Ex is sleeping with the news stand guy?” Pendleton, the small god of Gnomes asked Maximilian.
Maximilian sighed, “Yes. Yes I do. Everyone and their brother has told me.” He took a deep breath, held it for a four count, and exhaled, “And why are you calling me 'Mil'?”
Pendleton coughed, “Okay. I won't mention them again. As for 'Mil', well with the Heretic channel, every time I call you 'Max' out there, people think I'm talking about him. And your name is a bit long.”
“Oh, the 'All Max, All the Time' channel on the scrying stone? Dude is hilarious! Washing dogs, cats, and a Grizzly Bear?!? I wonder what the bear was thinking!” Sarah, the small god of small shadows, interjected. She put out her Llama in the ashtray, and cracked open a can of green stuff.
Kocha looked up from his anchovies and artichoke pizza, “If you were a bear, would you argue with a pixie? I sure as heck wouldn't!”
“True.”
“So, brother of mine, what is tonight's adventure?” asked Sarah, looking at Ghondish.
Ghondish smiled, “Tonight, we have the newly published adventure, 'Ballad of the Taco Truck'. Do you all remember Mrs. Gonzales? She was the new neighbor I introduced a couple weeks back.”
“The lady who's grandma, her Abuela, sells those tamales? I had one last week at the Rio college! Those things are AWESOME!” Pendleton's eyes sparkled.
“Yep! That's her.” Ghondish replied, a smile crossing his lips again.
*-*-*
“So, Abuela wants to open a Taco Truck in the community? We HAVE to help her!” Sarah shot to her feet. “My fellow neighbors! I hereby call for a vote of the community council, to approve 'Abuela's Tacos' for immediate access to our community!”
Advertisement
“ 'Sadly, I must disagree. While Mrs. Gonzales the elder is a wonderful cook, and her food is amazing, the bylaws of our community strictly forbid 'food trucks' of any sort access to our community outside of designated festivals and other such events.' Mr. Johnston, the head of the council says.” Ghondish narrates the response.
“But, surely we can make just one exception?” Pendleton responds, in character.
“ 'Sadly, no. That would set a precedent that will open us up to lawsuits from other food trucks who we refuse.' Mr. Johnston replies.” Ghondish narrates again.
“Well, shit. What do we do folks?” Mil asks. “Should we just give up? Or what?”
“Maybe we could force through a resolution for a one time exception?” Kocha asks.
Pendleton cocked his head to one side, then the other, “Maybe...maybe... no, that won't work.”
“I have an idea for you.” A voice from under the table announces.
Kocha looked under the table, then grabs and pulls out a hissing cat from under it. “What the hell do you think you doing here?”
“Helping, you dolt.” El Gato, deposed king of the celestial realm, replied, hanging from the scruff of his neck. “Now if you put me down, I will give you a solution that your imaginary council may give credence to.”
Kocha unceremoniously dumped the cat on the table. “I don't buy it. Talk fuzzball.”
“If you must know, I have been snubbed by the most adorable lady cat in town. She didn't like the fresh salmon I brought her.” El Gato looked down for a moment, before returning to stare at the party.
The table of gods exchanged sympathetic looks.
“Anyway, my dear godling, all you need to do is introduce a resolution that changes the bylaws to allow 'Food Trucks' and the like into the community on a regular basis, IF the owner of said truck is a resident of the community.” El Gato replied as he cleaned his fur. “That way there is no room for lawsuits, or other lowlife attempts at destroying the sovereignty of your imaginary dwelling place.”
Advertisement
The group of gods stared at the cat. Finaly Sarah spoke, “We should do what the cat says. I think it has a shot. Put it up for public vote. I will start the rumor mill on it. Pen? You start on the wording. Mil? Get the redneck/blue collar group going on it. Kocha? Talk to Mrs Gonzales, both the elder and younger. Get a voting festival planned, with free samples so that we can show off how good her food is.”
“You know Ms. Chang is going to want in on this too. She keeps fighting with the council about running a baking/catering business out of her house.” Kocha said, bringing the discussion to a halt.
Pendleton slumped in his chair. “She is such a...unpleasant person. Do we have too?”
El Gato stretched out on the map, knocking dice and pencils off the table. “If you are doing it for one, you have to do it for everyone.” He looked around, “Someone get me a can of tuna?”
*-*-*
“I didn't expect so many 'racists' to show up for the vote.” Kocha shook his head.
“I can't believe the number of different skin colors of racists there were in the neighborhood!” Sarah said in disgust. “Seriously! What the ever loving mother of the universe?”
“What I can't believe is the amount of damage that stupid cat did to our map.” Ghondish said.
Pendleton looked up from his notes, “I can't believe I failed to convince them to vote for the amendment.”
“We can try again at next months meeting.” Mil said. “Maybe not do all the advertising?”
“Good plan for next time.” Kocha agreed.
The game ended with all gathered in low spirits.
Advertisement
- In Serial50 Chapters
The Joy of Evolution
"Alright, so I have this idea, a completely original one by the way, never done before." I say. "Alright, lets hear it." You reply happily. "What if you got trapped in the body of a tentacle monster that looks like a virus in a world that is like a videogame, with skills and... whoops slip of the tendril there, what I meant to say is Mutations and Levels as you evolve your way up from being that lowly creature into a slightly better lowly creature, all the while, an evil devil person watches over you for entertainment purposes." I say making weird hand gestures across the table. "Oh and that main character used to be a human male and uses its past experience as one to survive in this new world as a little mass of flesh." I pull out a little ball with suction cup tendrils and show you. "So, what do you think?" " I dont know seems, a little sameish, I think Im gonna go." You say as you start to get up from your worn but still plush velvet chair. "Wait" I sigh, " I didnt want to do this but you leave me no choice, I promise you an extremely diverse harem..." The door closes as you leave. "They'll come back." I say hopeful. Cover: https://phil.cdc.gov/Details.aspx?pid=21073
8 244 - In Serial15 Chapters
I Am a Hungry Ghost
I am from Buffalo. That's about the furthest you can possibly get from whatever Wuxia-or-Xianxia world this is. So how did I end up here? No idea. All I know is I have three goals. Number three, stay alive. Number two, don't get killed. Number one, eat all the delicious food. I'm just trying to do my part as the small-business owner of my restaurant. Please tell me how to stop getting tangled up with arrogant acolytes, demon princes, veiny, long-nailed witches, and apocalyptic conspiracies... Be warned, this story has some violence.
8 140 - In Serial10 Chapters
An Unlikely Haven
A story about a small bar inside an alley of the Imperial Capital and how it's more than what it seems to be...
8 165 - In Serial18 Chapters
The Calm Death God
In the Year 2084, the most brutal and inhumane crime of all time occurred. The perpetrator? John Sixth, a ten years old boy.He entered the maximum security prison cell at the age of ten. And he absorbed all kinds of information inside his mind and made it as his own by reading books given by his cell guards.Now, after ten years, is his execution day.Mainly Inspired by DN and the Good Reaper
8 214 - In Serial20 Chapters
my girl || steve harrington
"oh bite me, harrington" "love you too, henderson"in which neither lydia henderson nor steve harrington have feelings for each other. at least they think they don't.season 1 of stranger thingspart 1 of the "my girl" series[completed][edited]
8 170 - In Serial81 Chapters
Collaboration || Dan Smith
Dan's new collaboration features someone very special...That someone special is Maisie, an alternative pop singer who also happens to be his girlfriend. But stardom gets in the way of their flashing lights relationship
8 199

