《They Shall Call Me EMPRESS (Cultivation Tales of an Isekai'ed Life Coach)》16. Blown Into the Bardo
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I'd never even contemplated scaling town walls before, let alone attempted it. First off, town walls aren't even a thing in California, though I guess there are plenty of gated communities, which have about the same thing. It was late afternoon when we arrived at Emerald Vale, but we waited until sundown before we scaled the walls… well, Ichika, Monkey Yang, and I did. Shilei and Ken were too injured to properly climb and Hana could never have managed it.
The twenty-foot stone walls had iron spikes at the top, and something about climbing the wall was unsettling, like it was asking for trouble even to attempt it. "Why does this seem really dangerous?" I asked.
Monkey pointed to a stone about eight feet up with a faint symbol carved into it. "Wards to keep wild animals at bay. Fortresses and major cities have stronger wards that'll even keep lower cultivators out, but these ones were never that strong and they're old and in need of replacement."
"So it's safe to climb?" I asked.
"Heavens no, it's not safe! We might get spotted, after all! But the fear you're feeling is just the interference from the wall wards. Shall we, ladies?" he offered a slight bow.
"I'll make a gentleman of you yet, Yangutan," Ichika said.
"Not likely, my Iron Flower."
With that, the two of them scaled the wall just like that. Monkey scrambled right up like, fittingly enough, some kind of monkey. And Ichika just leapt up. She didn't quite have the vertical leap to make it twenty feet straight up, so she leapt, somehow, off the stones in the wall like a mountain goat with a parkour Insta. She sprang to the top, allowed Yang to gracefully lift her over the iron spikes, and then gestured for me to follow them up.
"Just like a rock wall," I told myself. "Hmm… it is a rock wall." I found a handhold and started up.
Actually, it wasn’t hard at all. I wasn't graceful like my friends, but my finger strength was ridiculous and my shoulders didn't even burn from pulling my body weight up. I could've climbed up all day without breaking a sweat. I reached the top in about ten seconds flat, the red and tan roof tiles of Emerald Vale stretching beyond and painted in the waning twilight. Then I screamed as Monkey Yang unexpectedly lifted me over the hedgerow of waist-height iron spikes lining the top of the tower.
"Ah!"
"Keep quiet!" Ichika hissed.
"You should ask someone when you just… lift their whole-ass body up!" I replied. I looked about the town below to see whether anybody had been alerted by my outburst, but nobody appeared to have been. "Now what?"
"Now we find something to help get our injured and mortal companions up and over," Ichika said.
The solution to that particular problem was a wooden pallet that had been left in a nearby yard after bringing its haul of goods to one nearby merchant or another. The thing even had ropes still attached to it, so all we had to do was lift it up the wall, lower it down the other side, and pull the others up once they got on.
And anybody could have seen us when we were standing atop the wall, hauling Big Shilei's heavy bones up and helping him get past the rusty iron spikes. But the people of Emerald Vale were winding down their evenings, and nobody gave much thought to the city walls. Even the guards focused on their gates or their routes, citing citizens for public drunkenness or whatever other myriad laws were being transgressed.
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Somewhere in that town were Black-blade Feng, Lee Dan, and probably another half-dozen or so fake-cultivators. It was kind of absurd that so few people with slightly superhuman powers could hold a town of five or six thousand people at their mercy, but I guess the Cold-blood Ieyasu they were all goons for was a pretty scary dude. If I was lucky, I'd never have to so much as see an evil not-at-all-fake cultivator, let alone fight one.
"I can't believe we just snuck into a town," Hana whispered. "This is exactly like an adventure novel!"
Monkey Yang scoffed. "Hauling two cripples and a mortal over a rusty wall? That would be a terrible novel!"
"I imagine a competent author would exclude that bit," Ichika said sagely. "Lynn, if you would? Kindly show us to your granny's house…"
I chewed at my lip. "Okay. But I'm gonna need to either go to the market way across town or down to the front gate to orient myself. I need landmarks…"
"Then what was the fucking point of sneaking us in?" Ken snapped.
"I'm not going to just walk up to the southern gate, Ken. I'm just getting closer to orient myself, and then I'll know exactly the way."
Before he could annoy me with one of his snitty quips, I dipped westward toward the gate, running down dusty side-roads and slick alleyways until I hit the main trade road that ran from the gate straight up to the marketplace - basically the backbone of Emerald Vale. I quickly oriented myself, figuring I could get to the shabby neighborhood where Granny P lived in less than ten minutes, even with our slower members considered…
"Hey! Is you? You're that cultivator girl who caused a big ruckus in the marketplace, right?" a passing guard said.
"That's her?" his fellow guard asked. "I thought she'd be scarier. Hey, if you don't mind, could you settle a bet between-"
"Nope! That's not me. Somebody else. I'm not a cultivator, so…" the guards didn't look like they were buying it. Right. I had silvery mirror eyes… it had been a while since I looked into a mirror. "Sorry, guys. Again - just a regular mortal. Gotta go!"
I took off north-northwest at speeds that, in retrospect, a regular mortal could not have managed. Maybe Usain Bolt or something. Hopefully that little oopsie wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass. I sped through Emerald Vale as the town slowly wound down for the night, heading right toward Granny P's. Hopefully, my friends wouldn't have too much trouble following me.
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As horrible as it sounded, Shan Cui Hana was glad that two of her cultivator protectors were injured. Hana wasn't a terrible person, not at all! She was glad that neither had died and gladder still that they would be getting proper care from Lynn's granny, but at least this way she wasn't the one who was always slowing them down. The large bald man, Mister Shilei, could only manage a brisk pace and with frequent stops. About as often as Hana needed to stop to manage her own exhaustion.
And she was exhausted.
All Hana had were the remnants of the once-proud Cui name. Her mother's ancestral family now relegated to the wife of a frontier-town mayor and her daughter. But she just knew she could become a cultivator and win it back. She just needed a little more time! Then… then she could return to her parents and, well…
She still wasn't sure about that bit. She was working on it. She was sure that everything would work out, as long as she kept learning from Mistress Lynn, the transmigrator and her, Shan Cui Hana's, mentor!
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It was hard not to be impressed by Lynn. Even the other cultivators were constantly aggravated by how skillful she was. She even had a human spirit beast, who had saved her and Shilei when it looked like the evil spirits were going to kill them! Then, she concocted the miraculous smoothies that were keeping Mister Shilei alive from nothing more than ingredients she'd found in the woods and tiny sprigs of spirit herbs…
Hana had snuck a tiny dab from the edge of Mistress Lynn's water skin, and it tasted so bad that it must have been very medicinal. It even made Hana's head spin a bit just from that tiny taste!
Once they'd arrived in Emerald Vale and Mistress Lynn helped bring her and the two injured cultivators up the town wall, she'd thoroughly flummoxed the two guards who spotted her and then ran away so quickly it made everybody nearby gasp in surprise. One day, people would gasp when they saw what Hana could do. For the time being, she was getting better at detecting her 'inner light', which is what Lynn said she'd have to do.
"Until you can see your soul - your inner light - there's no point in looking for qi, because you don't know how the qi is interacting with you," she'd said in one of her 'guided meditation' lessons. "Imagine that the qi is water…"
"So… water qi?" Hana had asked.
"No, any kind of qi," Lynn said. "Imagine that any kind of qi is water, and you've got it in a thousand containers of different sizes and colors, and you can pour them anywhere in a great, dusty courtyard with a parched tree at its center. Where do you pour your containers?"
"Um… oh! I wouldn't pour them at all! I'd save them so I didn't die of thirst?" Hana ventured - Mistress Lynn had emphasized that outside-the-box thinking was an important skill to have, too.
"Uh… true," Lynn allowed, and Hana's heart had glowed with pride at her own intuitive talent. "But let's say, for the sake of argument, that you've got a small fountain that you can drink from, so it's not an issue. The problem is the tree, right?"
"Yes. I'd want to water the tree. It's not an evil tree is it?"
"I don't think trees can be evil," Lynn said. "Don't think quite so outside-the-box here…"
"Right. So I'd pour it all around the tree's roots! But maybe not all at once, depending on how much water I had…"
"Yes, good. Exactly right," Lynn said. "So right now, you're in the courtyard at night, and you've got the containers of water… different sources of qi of different types… and you can already find the really big containers of water. But what you really need to do is find the tree, and then you can worry about finding the water. Because before that, you're just throwing water into a dusty courtyard, and if any water splashes the soil near the tree by pure luck, it's not likely to do as much good as a concerted effort at watering."
Hana's brow furrowed as she tried to follow the metaphor. "So the tree is my inner light, and I have to find it so I can water it with qi?"
"Basically, yeah. Only we're not 'watering' it so much as building a buttress around it to make it really strong."
Mistress Lynn had gone on to explain how most cultivators - including all of the others in their group - cultivated only a handful of sorts of qi from strong sources because that's how the foundation of their qi was built. And Mister Shilei and Miss Ichika were quite clear that this was the proven way to cultivate, that martial cultivators had been doing it something like this way for at least three thousand years and possibly longer. They pointed out that Lynn's cultivation dao was no more developed than her martial dao, which was demonstrably lacking.
"Yeah, but I know where my martial dao is missing," Mistress Lynn had replied. "I can see it and feel it whenever I get my ass handed to me in lessons. I know what an effective technique looks like and what it should do, and I just have to learn to get better at it. Would you say that's accurate?"
"That is essentially correct, yes," Mister Shilei had responded, "though the philosophical underpinnings are no less important - I can see where you're going with this, Lynn…"
Mistress Lynn had just shrugged. "Okay, so, tell me. Can you cultivate every type of qi? Let's say we weren't in a low qi zone and you had as much of every type as you liked. You could cultivate it all?"
"I could, yes," Mister Shilei said, clearly aggravated by Mistress Lynn's incisive analysis. "But it wouldn't be effective cultivation because I would need to carefully partition the different types to prevent deviation, and my earth-dominant base itself reacts destructively toward celestial qi, such as that which Ichika cultivates…"
"Right, so you can see how my way is kinda better, right? And if it's not, guess what? We can always just take a mulligan! There's literally no downside…"
Miss Ichika did not agree. "The downside, Lynn, ignoring the insane time and effort wasted in jettisoning entire steps of cultivation, is that one must form one's foundation out of every variety of qi, broadly-speaking, miraculously without causing deviations that cripple the framework of your dantian itself, before this technique is viable. And, after that, there is no master in the world who will be able to instruct you in your cultivation dao."
"Hmm… yeah, the last time it did set me back a whole day…"
So maybe things were a bit tricky for Mistress Lynn, being the first ever omni-cultivator. But, the way Hana saw it, she had it absolutely made. She hadn't yet built up her foundation in the wrong way, and she had the only mentor in the world competent to teach her… a mentor from another world who was competent to teach her. Mistress Lynn!
When Mistress Lynn took off, they eventually caught up to her in a sketchy part of town… the kind of part of town that her father had urged her to avoid at all costs, only slightly below the urgency of 'stay well away from the Dark Riders'. But Lynn and her friends had managed to beat all of the Dark Riders in Rushing Rivers, so Hana figured she didn't have much to fear from being in a slum.
The healer's cottage didn't even look that bad. Rather, it looked like the kind of place you'd find in the middle of a bamboo glade with a suspiciously spry old woman sweeping the front porch and then offering you sweet-bean rolls when you wandered too near.
Lynn thumped on the front door. "Granny P, I have some friends who need medical help. Can we come in?"
That precipitated a minor commotion inside the cottage, followed by a muffled voice behind the door. "Friends of who?"
"Lynn? Lee Lynn?"
The door opened immediately, a woman in her late middle-age years poking her head out and fixing Lynn with a furious glare. "You disappear for over a week and only think to show up the moment your no-good friends get into trouble?"
"They aren't 'no good', granny, and I brought them all the way from the foothills," Lynn replied. "Please? It's serious, so I couldn't possibly take them to another healer…"
"Hmmph," Grandmother P huffed, her hard eyes visiting each of them in turn. Hana felt a mild shiver travel down her spine as the woman examined her for all of two seconds. "Well… you're not wrong about that. Come in, you lot, and stop making a commotion out here. I get enough complaints from the neighbors as it is. I'll give 'em a look, but I won't promise what I can't deliver. Alright?"
Lynn nodded eagerly. "Of course, granny! Come on in, guys! I'll introduce everybody."
They all piled into the cottage - and it really did smell like Hana imagined a rustic healer's cottage might smell. It smelled of sweat, herbs, and burning incense, the light inside muted despite the sun beating down outside. A young man carrying a spool of linen bandages scuttled out from the darkened back of the place, his eyes lighting up when he recognized Mistress Lynn.
"Lin! Thank the heavens you're back!"
Before he could make it to Hana's mentor, there was a flash of golden light.
"Hi, Fu!"
"Ah!" the young man yelped. Ichika drew her sword. Yang drew his knife and dropped into a fighting crouch.
"Uh…" the golden glowing girl said… "Sorry. That was kinda surprising, yeah?"
The girl was about Hana's age, though she was on the thin side while Hana was the opposite. And she was translucent and glowing like the sun. With a frown of effort, the glowing girl tamped her qi down - even Hana had felt the initial outburst, though it was weaker than the ones that Mistress Lynn sometimes made. Slowly, she resolved until she was mostly opaque with only the bare glimmer of light surrounding her.
"Lin?" Fu looked back and forth in confusion between Lin and Mistress Lynn. Hana beamed in pride - how many people could state that their mentor had a bonded spirit human? In the whole world, there was probably only one person: her!
But Lynn didn’t look proud. She nibbled on her lip and dipped her head in apology. "I guess I should explain."
So Mistress Lynn told Grandmother P all about what she'd been up to, including the bit about taking Hana as a student and learning Yu characters from her. Hana nodded quite furiously at that bit, because she was part of a transmigrator's story! Shan Cui Hana!
True to her reputation, Grandmother P took it in stride, asking the girl Lin a few questions and daring a bit of mild reproach toward Hana's mentor. Hana couldn’t help but frown when Lin revealed that Mistress Lynn was a transmigrator, since everybody had agreed not to reveal that secret to anybody, and here the foolish spirit girl was blabbing it to two common townsfolk. One was a healer, and they were supposed to keep patient secrets confidential, but it wasn’t clear whether Mistress Lynn was a patient.
"Oh, don't you worry about that none," Grandmother P chuckled when Hana voiced her concern. "I've been around long enough to know that no good comes from airing that you're familiar with a transmigrator. And I'd ask you, Lin, child, to keep that secret, too, if you value your continued existence. Well?"
"Yes, granny," the glowing girl mumbled, suitably chagrined. Meanwhile, Miss Ichika poked at the girl, fascinated by her ethereal appearance. Her slim finger pressed into the girl and moved slowly, as if through an especially thick congee. The girl had substance, but not quite as much as a regular person.
Grandmother P eventually got around to checking out the two injured members of their group, doling out a healing salve for Mister Ken and then watching intently as Mistress Lynn mixed up a medicinal smoothie using the ingredients that the old healer indicated. She mumbled something about the 'tyranny of talent' but seemed pleased with the results when Shilei gulped the stuff down and struggled mightily not to vomit.
"You were toward the later steps of the third realm, correct?" Grandmother P asked - and Hana couldn't help but notice how everybody winced when she used the word 'were', indicating past tense.
Big Shilei took it in stride, nodding solemnly. "I was, Healer Phuong."
"I cannot heal you, and anybody who can will be much more knowledgeable and advanced in their cultivation than a town healer mired in the first realm," she said. "I can barely even stabilize you better than Lynn did, apparently with random earthy things she scavenged from the forest - she may be untrained, but she has more focused intent than I've ever seen. As for you, Ken, my salve will speed your healing somewhat beyond your cultivator's physique, but I can do better. When the market opens tomorrow, you'll go out and fetch me some ingredients… I don't imagine they'll be inexpensive."
"We haven't got any money, granny," Mistress Lynn said.
Grandmother P shrugged. "I've got precious little, either, child. I've told you what I can provide, but I cannot squeeze blood from a cabbage."
"We shall fulfill your list, however costly, Healer Phuong," Miss Ichika said with a slight bow. "And if we can stay the night, we'll gladly remunerate you…"
"I ain't letting anybody remunerate me," Grandmother P spat back.
"Remunerate means to pay or reciprocate with services," Hana said, glad to finally be of help to the conversation.
"Ah… well… I suppose I wouldn't turn down a few extra wu. All I've got is the floor…"
"Lynn can sleep in my bed," Fu eagerly blurted. The young man blushed when everybody's attention turned his way. "I mean… I'll find somewhere else. I wouldn't be in it…"
Mistress Lynn glanced in her direction. "Could Hana sleep in it? I don't need much sleep and she's exhausted…"
Hana nodded eagerly - Mistress Lynn was so considerate! The greatest mentor a budding cultivator could have, really, so different from those cruel and aloof masters from the cultivation stories, pushing their disciples through torturous hardship for every awkward step of advancement.
"Oh… of course, Lynn," Fu said, deflating slightly.
The poor boy clearly had a crush on Mistress Lynn - too bad she was a cultivator and he wasn't. They might have made a cute couple, like the aristocratic Young Miss falling for the rustic but talented Country Hero in an epic love story. Except Mistress Lynn wasn't exactly aristocratic… she could barely even read, though she was getting there… and Fu's mannerisms didn't exactly scream 'hero'.
Still, when Lynn leaned in and gave him a hug, the boy's chest puffed out with pride and any misgivings were blown into the bardo.
So Hana slept on Phuong Fu's bed that night - not as comfortable as Lynn's mattress, but at least it was indoors. Meanwhile, Lynn sat nearby, cultivating and occasionally offloading little spurts of qi with enough energy to stir Hana from her slumber, though she always returned to it soon thereafter. Then she heard the mumble of quiet conversation some time later.
As she rose to consciousness, Hana stirred, her eyes fluttering open to see Mistress Lynn and Miss Ichika speaking with Grandmother P. Poor Fu lay nearby, draped over a bedroll atop the healer's huge wooden chest of herbs and snoring softly.
"…and if you can get the blue flowers rather than the purple, it will be better for the salve. If the north market hasn't got it, see the herbalist's shack in the garden district. Have you got all that?"
Mistress Lynn nodded. "I think so, granny."
"I'm coming, too," Ken insisted, wincing as he pulled his cloak around the burns encrusting his lean but well-muscled frame. Miss Ichika looked about to object, but the determination in his expression seemed to make her reconsider.
When they looked in her direction, Hana pretended to sleep. If she rolled out of bed and asked to come, Mistress Lynn would probably deny her and Hana would have to obey - a disciple obeyed her mentor, after all. But if Lynn never told Hana not to follow her to the marketplace, she couldn’t very well punish her for not following directions, could she?
Hana waited until the cultivators were gone and Grandmother P's back was turned before rolling out of Fu's bed to fasten her sandals. She would help Mistress Lynn whether she asked for help or not!
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