《Transcripts》Transcripts Chapter 15: Meditation Session
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“Dr. Uru’Nav Xant” The door chimed but Sieglinde paid it no mind, there were too many interesting and new scents to breathe in.
‘(Friend Xant, is this your den? Smells like Friend Xant.)’ The puppy happily walked in, not noticing that Xant did not reply. She was used to the tall ones not answering her. The den was the closest to a real den she had seen since the great bright light in the sky. It had a rug and a window with plants, but no outside or trees. She would have been disappointed, but there was a rug. It smells like friend Xant and Namegiver Jasmine, she had been here before too, now it needed to smell like Sieglinde. She quickly trotted over to the rug and gave it a quick roll.
That was better.
Xant and Jasmine looked on as Sieglinde promptly made herself at home.
“Jasmine, please take a seat.” Xant instructed, making his way over to the corner of the room. He had almost forgotten his old jacket in the haste after his messages. He swept up the discarded clothes into his arms - there was no need for Jasmine to see the jacket stained with blood.
“Hey Sigi, you’re going to behave now aren’t you?” Jasmine asked the dog, then turned to Xant. “You're going to let her know what we’re doing right? So she doesn’t try to interrupt?”
Xant placed the Jacket into the designated chute, and turned to his pupil.
“That was my intention, yes” He answered, “but as far as I have seen Sieglinde is not the disruptive type.”
“Yeah, she's the most well behaved dog I’ve ever met.” Jasmine crouched down to give the golden retriever a good pet. Sigi was overjoyed, eagerly rolling onto her back for belly rubs. Jasmine couldn't help but smile, reaching out with two hands to treat the animal. “Her owner is very lucky.”
“I believe his name was Oskar.” Xant relayed, walking over to stand beside Jasmine and Sieglinde.
“Oskar? That’s cool-”
Sieglinde jumped up into Jasmine’s lap with a dire urgency, licking her face.
‘(Name Giver Jasmine knows Oskar! Oskar! Where is Oskar?!)’ She panicked on the Zenthi Frequency.
“Down Sigi down!” Jasmine nearly fell over from the force of the dog’s excitement; Xant intervened.
‘(Friend Sieglinde, I merely told Namegiver Jasmine Oskar’s name… Please calm down.)’
‘(But Oskar!)’ The golden retriever looked forlornly up at Jasmine, nudging her with her nose one final time. ‘(Oskar gets sad without me.)’
‘(But you make Namegiver Jasmine happy - until we find Oskar that will be your special job.)’ Xant crouched down beside Jasmine, and attempted to pet the dog. He had seen Jasmine do it so many times, but to touch another creature like this without medical purpose - it was strange to him. Sieglinde had called him ‘Friend’ but he wasn’t sure the word held the same weight the way he and Jasmine understood it. Friends did not so openly exchange such intimate caresses, Jasmine and the dog were clearly closer; ‘pack mates’ - was that the term?
His hand landed on the dog’s skull and he brushed its fur. Even through his examination gloves, Xant could tell the dog’s hair was soft and warm.
Sieglinde turned her attention to the strange friend. He spoke wise words.
‘(Yes Friend Xant, that I can do.)’
‘(Thank you Friend Sieglinde, Jasmine and I are going to talk now, it is an important talk - can you be quiet and still for us?)’
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‘(I will sit and stay, Friend Xant,)’ The wonderful creature replied and climbed off Jasmine’s bulk; curling up and sitting beside the pillow.
Jasmine sat in amazement. She had just watched the dog go through elation to devastation to calm and happy as a clam.
“You’re going to put the dog whisperer out of business Xant.” Jasmine joked with a deadpan delivery.
“Dog language is not without its nuances,” the researcher sighed, kneeling down on the rug beside her. “We will begin shortly Jasmine, please become comfortable.”
“Oh, are we not going to sit on the pillows like last time? (We’re not going to talk about Laandi?)”
“We will be sitting on the rug this time, we need to be in close proximity.” Xant explained, “Do you remember the first time I made a physical direct link?”
A shiver went up Jasmine’s spine as she remembered; that first Frequency contact out of the enclosure. Xant had placed his finger by her ear, and something had crawled into her ear canal - it was creepy, uncomfortable, and the next thing she knew the large alien had been thrown back almost like he had been shot with a taser. She instinctively touched her right ear and the exposed translator behind it.
“Yeah, I remember, you blacked out and it was (scary as fuck) unforgettable.” Jasmine turned her gaze away again.
“I will be doing that again this session; if we are successful, you will be able to communicate on the natural Zenthi Frequency, as Sieglinde and I can do.”
Jasmine sighed through her nose. More thoughts passed silently behind the translator’s barricaded calibration.
“Okay.” She moved to sit in the same ritualistic stance, legs folded underneath. He was surprised she was able to do so in the armour - it must have taken her flexibility into account. “Are you not going to pull out your dataslate?”
“No. What we are about to do cannot be recorded - we do not have the correct equipment to do so.”
Jasmine looked relieved.
“Right, what do you need me to do?” She looked back up at him with that ever present calm determination.
“If you can Jasmine, I need you to be calm.”
“I’ll try.”
“Thank you.”
Jasmine closed her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He waited for her to become at peace - her shoulders slumped, her face unwound. Xant removed his examination glove, exposing his hand to the cool air and flexing his fingers before reaching out and touching the translator.
Human physiology prevented any possibility of exposed nerves like the ones Xant could extend out of his fingertips. However, humans also proved to have very sensitive and conductive nerve endings. The translator was their bridge, it was wired straight into her nervous system, and Xant’s fingers could connect to the translator.
“Your brain processes an impossible amount of information Jasmine,” Xant instructed. “Trying to stem that flow only causes more problems, so, instead, I want you to focus on yourself, who you are, your memories and your thoughts. Focus on your breathing.”
Jasmine nodded wordlessly and it was Xant's turn to close his eyes.
Slipping into a full thought stream was difficult, usually you were lost in a sea of silence. Desperately searching for another voice, one that you resonated with, a clan member, a pack sibling. Through all those faint voices you would find the one you wished to speak with. Jasmine’s frequency, was a beacon in the dark, there was no mistaking her presence. Xant was thankful he had taken the extra dose of depressors, otherwise he may have passed out again from the strength.
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Jasmine, can you hear me?
Ah?! Whoa…
Her voice was clear, as though they were speaking face to face. Untrained, she was a youngling with the strength of a full congregation behind her.
Stay calm Jasmine.
I mean, I’ll try but- holy crap Xant, this feels so weird.
Weird how? Tell me, what do you feel?
Whoa… This is too weird.
Take your time.
He felt her take a breath, and then he became aware of her circulatory system, he could feel her heart beating, the pressure and weight of the air in her lungs. Was she in constant acknowledgement of such minor biological systems? Or was it only while she shifted the focus of her thoughts? The erratic nature of her mind condensed, and she was able to speak again.
Xant you, you feel like... You feel like I’m standing in a river; cold water flowing over me, smooth river stones underneath me.
Xant was moved, a resurgence of his own thoughts bustled within, but his training kept them contained.
Thank you Jasmine, that is... the most thoughtful way I have ever been described.
How have others described you?
Cold. Heavy. Simple terms.
Well, it is cold, but in a refreshing way. How do I feel?
Warm, but entangled. I know you are upset.
Jasmines mind shifted again, the power and warmth receded, a shell, she was trying to protect herself. She was still plagued by fear.
Xant, I need to tell you...
As she spoke his name, he thought he felt the water of which she spoke.
Laandi she, we spoke in her office, and then she jammed the security recording. Then she started talking about gene patents and distribution rights. Someone’s biological make up was… A ‘product’ to her. To be bought, sold, exchanged, to be used. Laandi said she was a product, she was made. What would you guys do with human DNA? Am I a product or a person to you? If Laandi hadn’t told me, would you have just gone and taken my genescript without my permission?! Xant… I'm scared of what I don’t know, and I’m terrified of letting you find out exactly how little I understand…
Jasmine, why are you so scared? I told you you have nothing to fear from the Council-
You don't get it Xant! I have EVERYTHING to fear! I was abducted from my own planet, I was experimented on! You guys have biological weapons and faster than light travel! The galactic council could destroy my planet or worse and there would be nothing we could do to stop it… What is stopping you from just taking what you want from me and making clones for more experiments?! Do you guys even need me conscious? Do I really have a choice in not answering you?! Am I only here to answer your questions?! Will you just dispose of me when you’re done?! What’s going to happen to me when the galaxy at large finds out?! What's going to happen to the human race?! I’ve been calm and pleasant this entire time because I'm terrified that if I take another step out of line!-
Xant felt a rush, panic, fear, constriction. He couldn't move, paralyzed by an indomitable force. Her thoughts were no longer constructed from words, but pure emotion. A flash of a memory, horrifying uncaring eyes looked over him, ignored him, forced to watch as he felt pain. He was nothing to those eyes, his cries of anguish dismissed, water flowed down his face.
-No please, I don’t, I can’t, I’d rather die than have that happen to me again... To Sigi… I don’t know you, I don’t know anything, I don’t know what I'm doing and if it’s the right or wrong thing… Please don’t tell me I have nothing to fear… Don’t tell me everything is going to be fine...
Xant was finally released from the ordeal, the stress and fear that dominated them both began to clear. The warmth began to return, ever so slowly, and Xant realised what had happened. Jasmine had been holding back this entire time. These fears that had been with her since the beginning had been pushed below the surface. The burst of uncontained thought was a manifestation of stress - he had not lost her trust. She had shared with him her fears, despite how much the unknown consequences terrified her. She had confided in him, and no risk in this universe was without reward.
Xant pulled his hand away carefully, disconnecting from Jasmine’s mind. Bloodshot blue eyes stared back at him. Tears stained her face, as she tried to breathe.
“Oh god…” She struggled, wiping her face, the armour covered in her liquids “I’m so sorry, it, just spilled out and... I couldn’t stop it, oh Jesus...”
He recalled this look, red faced and swollen, she had spent days in this state in the enclosure before he intervened. He realized now exactly how much pain and fear Jasmine had been in, while he had just stood by watching unaware. Without the translator to broadcast her true emotions, he had thought it was a normal reaction. He had relived a memory with her, and he was truly shaken.
‘(Friend Xant? Namegiver is sad.)’ Sieglinde’s voice was quiet, she had creeped over to the pair during the session. ‘(I can make Namegiver happy?)’
‘(Yes, Friend… Please.)’ Xant’s voice quivered.
Sieglinde proceeded to push her way into Jasmine’s lap, and lick her face. Jasmine’s voice cracked, half a laugh and more tears followed. Sieglinde did not stop, even as the human protested, until Jasmine had forced the dog into a hug. Relief came in waves, as all the tension finally fell away.
Xant looked on with envy, the combined stress relief of crying and the connection with the dog was about as effective to Jasmine as an entire shot of depressors was to him. Something he was definitely in desperate need of in this very moment. The researcher rose to his feet slowly and shuffled over to his desk, retrieving the Medipen and the remainder of the drugs. His brain firing off the images of the Rajava experience over and over again. He had been told stories of their atrocities and listened to audio log accounts, but to stare into eyes devoid of any emotional understanding as Jasmine had done, true fear gripped him. This was the second time he had come so close to terror, thankfully, this time did not involve an attempt on his life.
The depressors sunk into his skin and the memory began to fade, cool, flowing over him, like water.
“Xant?...” Jasmine asked “Are you alright...?”
“No...” He answered truthfully “Jasmine, memory transfer is never an easy thing to comprehend - it normally takes many tries to master with a trusted colleague. I was forced to experience your memories; the fear you had contained inside you. I am - I was not engineered to handle such strength of emotion…” He sat down at his desk, leaning on the furniture for support. “What you experienced at the hand of the Rajava is something you will never endure again in the GC Space… We spent near on a millennium fighting to end their tyranny, and their horrors still plague us. We are not without our flaws, and to a being with such an acute understanding of empathy such as yourself, we may seem callous at times. We are not like them; we are trying to regain what the Ravaja took from us.”
He ran a hand over the back of his head gently, stroking his tense ears. Xant’s dataslate chimed - it was time for the Perceptions test with Doctor Krydon. Xant stared at the notification, reached over and answered it.
CMO Krydon: Ah! Dr. Xant, you’re late for the-
Dr Xant: Jasmine and I will not be attending this quarterly session, please stand by for instructions.
CMO Krydon: Dr. Xant? You sound under the influence.
Dr Xant: I am, please send a month’s subscription of suppressors to my living quarters. If possible we will attend the next quarter session. We are unable to attend due to VEFS on both our parts, have security staff deliver the pharmaceuticals.
CMO Krydon: ...Right, I’ll inform Isk.
Dr Xant: Thank you for your understanding.
[Comms Disconnected]
Jasmine held the golden retriever - she had since slumped from her crossed legs into one of the floor cushions. Sigi had laid down almost on top of her; a comfortable and comforting position.
“So, if we’re not going to the test, what are we going to do now?” The human asked, slowly recovering from the ordeal.
“Neither of us are in any sort of condition to conduct a Standardisation Test.” He explained “We... we need to calm down.” He turned his head to his Dataslate shelf. “Jasmine, could you retrieve a dataslate for me?”
Jasmine had just gotten comfortable; the suit was surprisingly snug and flexible. She cast her eyes over to the shelf, frowning about the inevitable.
“I can… Which one do you want?” She sniffed, and slowly pulled her arm out from underneath her fluffy living pillow.
“Bottom right corner, it is all by itself.” Xant instructed, “Bring it over to me…” His voice had lost its calm nature, becoming monotone and dull. Jasmine groaned as she stood from the floor, dragging her feet to the shelf, she really didn’t want to be doing anything. She bent over lazily to pick up the tablet, it was different from the others, black and heavy.
“(It’s like one from home.)” She sighed, holding it with both hands as she carried it to Xant.
“Please, place it on the table in front of me, the operation sensor is on the back.”
Jasmine frowned, pausing before following instructions.
“Is this what happens when you’ve been in contact with me too long?” She asked quietly, sliding over the booting up tablet across the table.
Xant nodded his ears up and down slowly.
“Yes, VEFS, or Volatile Emotional Frequency Syndrome, with a sudden change in emotional Frequencies, it causes my neural connections to misfire. If I try to do any drastic or sudden movements, it can cause pain, or damage.”
He moved his finger slowly but with purpose, selecting, from what Jasmine could see, a playlist. Then he entered in a code, the translator in Jasmine’s skull made a small ‘ping!’
“You should be able to pick up the Zenthi broadcast from this Dataslate, I suggest you lie back down on the pillow. This will be a unique experience for you.”
Jasmine’s lips tightened; he sounded like a robot. She gave one final sniff and wiped of her face before turning back around and cuddling up to Sieglinde.
“Okay, I'm ready. (For whatever the hell is going on.)” She informed him.
Xant’s shoulders finally relaxed as he lowered his hand to press play, then rested his head on the table. Jasmine stared up at the ceiling, her hand absentmindedly running through Sigi’s fur, before she felt it.
A cold, drop of water on her cheek.
“(What?)” She raised her hand to wipe it, but there was nothing. Then, another drop, on her knee. She sat up and looked, but there was no way she could have felt it through her hard suit-
Then another on her shoulder.
Followed by another.
And another.
“(Rain?)” The human looked up in awe. Soft, beautiful rain, she closed her eyes and fell back down on the pillow. She raised her hand up to sky, flexing her fingers toward the sensation. Tiny, unseen but certainly felt droplets formed on her skin, rolling down and away. “Is this the recording? You can record sensation?” she whispered, voice full of wonder.
“Yes…” Xant managed, rolling his head to the side, beginning to drift off to the soothing nerve recording.
Closing his own eyes, he surrendered to the depressor’s effects.
He thought he heard Jasmine crying again.
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