Chapter Forty Four – A Tiny God

“No! No, Bugbear you can’t–!”

The resounding thunk that interrupted my words was pretty much par-the-course for my life these days.

“Greeell! Invaader!” Bugbear screamed furiously as he pulled back his new axe and slammed it down on Akwa’s head. This, of course, had no effect whatsoever, save for the hollow thunking noise that kept repeating itself over and over again each time Bugbear swung.

“Hello to you too, Bugbear,” Akwa said, awkwardly as the axe blade landed on her eyebrow with no effect.

Bugbear roared, rearing back to bring his beginner axe down once again. The hollow thwacks continued as Bugbear tried over and over again to hurt her.

“Vaderrr. Not friend! Kill!” Bugbear screamed impotently, swinging with reckless abandon.

I was impressed! Not with Bugbear, so much as with Akwa. The girl didn’t even blink as the axe fell on her again and again. Even in a safe zone, I didn’t think I could be half as cavalier about a big Orc like Bugbear attacking me. Akwa was made of stern stuff though.

Bugbear roared, using the Warrior’s initial Warcry ability. I saw spittle fly from his mouth and pass through Akwa’s body as she stared impassively at him. His eyes blazed with fury, nostrils flaring.

“You done?” she asked curiously.

He was not. His answering swing thunked off her harmlessly as he raged.

Akwa walked over to me and I winced every time Bugbear’s axe landed.

“U-uhm. Sorry about him,” I said awkwardly.

She shook her head. “He really doesn’t like me.”

I shrugged. “I guess not. It's weird. He likes Amy and Iron just fine and seems to like Dull–er. Zephyr Bird too.”

“H-he does, does he?” Akwa asked nervously.

“Any idea why? Did you meet Bugbear on your own at some point, Akwa?” I asked with a small glance between the raging Orc and my friend.

“I… don’t think so,” she said. I raised an eyebrow at her though. She was nervous about something, her voice cracking. “Maybe it’s some item I’m carrying? I changed my clothes but that doesn’t seem to be the problem.”

“Kill vader! Kill Spiker! K-kill Blurr!” He screamed.

Each word was punctuated by another failed swing. I didn’t understand what he was saying though. Invader? Spiker? Blurr?

“Silver Linings… his vocabulary is certainly improving,” Akwa said, staring at the orc. There was no fear in her voice but she kept eyeing me as if worried about how I was reacting to this.

“No offense but… would you mind if we went somewhere else? You know. Uhm… without Bugbear?” she said softly.

I frowned, feeling guilty. I’d been so desperate to save Bugbear for so long that having finally done so felt a little anticlimactic. Worse he… just wasn’t very smart. That wouldn’t always be true. He was growing by leaps and bounds, but… spending time with him wasn’t like spending time with my friends. Not yet anyway.

He snorted and ran off, hiding in the bushes, but never let his eyes stray off Akwa for even a moment. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“He… can be a little…” I struggled trying to come up with a good word.

“Ignorant?” Akwa offered.

I thought about it but shook my head, deciding that wasn’t quite right either.

“I guess simple is the closest word I can come up with,” I said softly, watching him watching Akwa as if she was about to leap out and stab him.

A warp sound filled the air and both of us turned to look. Notably, Bugbear’s growls ceased for a moment as he turned towards the possible new threat.

There were only a few people who had access to the newly christened Jungle Home so I was delighted to see someone teleporting in, knowing it would only be a friend. I felt a momentary pang of irritation at Bugbear for–!

“GRrrader!” The orc growled.

That. I was getting tired of that.

I told myself that I had surely been the same once. Bugbear was my friend. Teaching him was a delight, and watching him learn and grow left me with an immense feeling of satisfaction.

Sometimes watching him got tiresome though.

The teleportation warp’s lights coalesced into Tyrone and I beamed.

“Friend!” Bugbear exclaimed happily, running out from his cover before he stopped a few feet in front of Tyrone, concerned.

I ran up too but paused as I saw him wobble and fall to the ground. He still sat up, but his eyes were filled with horror. Bugbear seemed to notice the problem before me because he hadn’t tackled the False God like he normally did.

“Tyrone? What’s wrong!?” I exclaimed. Akwa beat me to him and knelt while I watched him. He was shaking. Quivering.

“Th-they. They threw a fucking rock…” he breathed, horrified.

“What?” Akwa exclaimed as I knelt beside both of them. Bugbear was confused but seemed to realize that something was wrong. He growled low in his throat and sneered at Akwa’s approach, placing himself between the Paladin and the False God.

“Francis. Francis is in the hospital!” Tyrone stammered.

“What?” Akwa shouted, stepping around Bugbear to approach Tyrone. Right. Akwa had never met Tyrone, but she had met Francis.

I paused to let the word filter into my mind before exclaiming in my own sort of worry. “He’s sick?” I asked, shocked.

Tyrone looked scared.

“H-He got… fuck. They threw a rock at him when he was going home from work. They threw a fucking rock! I mean, I knew they were pissed off about you, but I never thought they were so serious.”

A rock? That was all? I’d thrown rocks at people before but it never hit for more than a few damage. I didn’t understand why he was so worried.

“He was… hurt by a rock?” I asked. “Why didn’t he just use Saint Joe to kill them?”

“Gell! Take this seriously!” Akwa scolded me.

I turned to her, taken aback by the heat in her voice. How was I supposed to take it seriously? It was a rock! They dealt fifteen damage at most!

“I… I’m sorry?” I said, but it came out more as a question than a real apology.

Tyrone looked back up at me guiltily. “Some people in our world are really mad that we didn’t delete you. They attacked Francis on his way home. I watched it happen from the office window. They just got him into an ambulance and off to the hospital. Just… f-fuck. He’s got a concussion at least. There was a lot of blood.”

‘But… isn’t he a god?’ I thought. ‘Aren’t you?’

Tyrone looked completely distraught. His eyes were wide. Horrified. As if he couldn’t believe Francis had been attacked. I didn’t like seeing him that way. He’d always affected me and until now it had always felt positive. I liked seeing him. Looking at him. The sound of his voice.

I was somehow disappointed. Hadn’t they built my entire world!? Didn’t that make them… mighty? Francis was injured by a rock? Seriously injured?

If a single thrown rock could seriously hurt Francis then what was to keep these people from throwing more rocks until they got what they wanted?

Until they got to me. Deleted me.

No.

I had to fight, which meant I had to learn and I had to do it. Fast. Maybe it was callous but while Tyrone’s back was turned and Akwa was kneeling beside him I used Fae Touch again.

Sure enough, I received Tyrone’s command prompt.

C:\Users\TDesotto

“Can he rest? Or maybe eat some food to recover his health?” I asked, trying to disguise my use of the ability with concern. “Is… he going to be okay?”

Tyrone met my eyes, looking up from the ground, blissfully unaware that I’d done anything wrong.

“Friend…” Bugbear boomed. He squatted next to Tyrone, giving a quick snarl towards Akwa. He put his huge orc hand on Tyrone’s shoulder and began to rub the shaken Developer.

I gave a sad smile. He was learning. If only I could figure out why he hated Akwa so much.

“Hopefully, in time, though recovering from a wound in our world isn’t the same as in Tread the Sky. Head wounds bleed a lot but it might not be as bad as I thought.” Tyrone said softly. “I just… wanted you to know.”

He looked up at me. Vulnerable. Shaken. His eyes reminded me of myself, and how I’d once felt in Dungeon Home all those cycles ago. His Red Thorn had come and stabbed him and somehow I knew it was the first time.

Not a god. Not a false god. Or if they were false gods, these developers, they were completely unfamiliar with pain. In my world, Francis and even Tyrone were all-powerful, but in his? They feared me. Why? Would I be stronger in their world? More powerful? Would I be able to create their kin on a whim if I went to the real world?

Maybe. That might explain some of the fear and hatred. Could they be so afraid of me though, that they hated people I knew? Why? What was the point of all that anger? I wasn’t hurting them! I couldn’t even see them! Fuck their death world that took away my friends.

Amy…

No. I didn’t want to think about her right now.

Tyrone rose to his feet, far steadier than he had been before. It seemed he’d regained his usual composure, though he still looked frightened.

“A while ago, you told me you try to teach me to program a little,” I said softly. “If… if there’s a threat from your world. If people really might try to delete me just because I exist, I don’t want to be helpless.”

He blinked at the abrupt change in topic. “Gell… I don’t…”

“Wait… what’s this about you learning to program, Gell?” Akwa asked, her voice suddenly sharp.

I ignored her, focusing on Tyrone.

“Why did you come here, Tyrone?” I asked, my voice hard. I didn’t like talking like this to him. Jellyfuck though, Francis had been hurt? As best I could tell, he was the only reason I hadn’t been deleted in the first place! I didn’t have time to worm little bits of knowledge out of Tyrone! I needed to find a way to keep myself safe.

He seemed to have forgotten his fear in favor of confusion.

“I just thought you’d want to know–!”.

“Know that I’m in imminent danger? That the only people keeping me safe are under attack and that I can’t do anything about it?” I snapped.

“N-No? I just–!”

Akwa frowned, glaring at me. “Gell, I think I know where you’re going with this and it isn’t smart. Can’t you see he’s scared? Shit, is your real body safe?”

“He came here. He didn’t have to tell me anything. Tyrone… you don’t want them to hurt me, right?”

I felt a sort of distant fear in my gut. They wanted to hurt me. These others. These humans who listened to an article about scary A.I. like me and had immediately decided Tread the Sky itself should end. How could I possibly prepare for that? How could I counter such profound paranoia? These people had never even seen me, let alone met me! And they’d attacked Francis? For that!?

“Of course I don’t want you hurt, Gell. I… I love spending time with you. Hell… lately you’ve been a better friend than most of my real friends,” he said with an embarrassed glance towards Akwa.

Akwa, for her part, was starting to look angrier by the moment. “Gell, drop this. You shouldn’t learn to program. It will only make people more afraid of you!”

My jaw dropped, shocked. Where was this coming from? Why wouldn’t Akwa want me to know how to program? Unless…?

“Y-you’re afraid of me,” I said softly. “You’re… you’re one of the ones who are afraid of what I might do.”

Akwa’s guilty look was enough confirmation.

“I… I was. But then I met you, Gell. I got to know you. I know you think you’re trying to protect yourself by using Tyrone to learn about our world and how to manipulate this one, but you’re not. You’re just putting yourself in more danger.”

“U-Using me?” Tyrone barked, his shocked eyes snapping to me. They fell, anger morphing into hurt as he repeated, “Using me?”

“I… Akwa, take that back! I wouldn’t do that! I like him!” I said before flushing in equal parts embarrassment and anger.

Embarrassment at being forced to admit to feelings I didn’t even fully understand. Anger at being caught in a lie. Anger at myself. I did like Tyrone and he’d said he wanted to teach me, hadn’t he? I wasn’t using him!

“I… I just want to be safe,” I said. “I’ve worked hard to build this place… this safe place. A-and now you’re telling me the most powerful person I’ve ever met has been hurt and that the people who hurt him did so because of me? What am I supposed to do!? I certainly can’t protect him like I am!”

Tyrone’s throat moved. He did something and a chair appeared. I saw that as a good sign. At least he was still willing to talk.

“Gell. I can’t teach you the things you want to know,” he said softly. “I can’t. I can show you the basics, the rudimentary aspects of programming that any thirteen-year-old with a mind for math could figure out but… as you are now you’re a novelty, Gell. Something people will be curious about. If they find out you understand the inner workings of the game, then they start to be afraid that you can get out of it. Get into banks. Military computers. Government computers. Private messages and the thing is? They aren’t necessarily wrong Gell. I’ve heard you call us False Gods, but if you got into our world, you might be much closer to a true god with power over people’s lives and that’s fucking terrifying. You’d know more than anyone just how much.”

I was trembling by the time he stopped speaking. He’d never glared at me before. He’d never yelled at me. I didn’t like it.

“T-Tyrone…?” I said, feeling something breaking between us that hurt more than death ever had. “I didn’t ask. I wanted to but… I never did. You know that right?”

He growled. “That’s the only reason I’m still here. I thought… I thought you were something special, Gell. I thought…”

How did wanting to keep myself and my kin safe make me less special in his eyes? I didn’t understand. Why had everything suddenly gone so wrong?

Akwa hadn’t said anything for a while. Even though she was the one who’d accused me of using him, I turned to her. I felt like I was drowning, and any lifeline might do.

Akwa, surprisingly, looked sympathetic. “Tyrone… I didn’t mean it like that. Gell would never use you. She wouldn’t.”

Tyrone’s face was screwed up in anger and his eyes seemed to scream, hurt. In the end, he looked back up at me.

“I… I know she wouldn’t. I just...” he breathed out a sigh, words not forming. “No one likes to be used, Gell.”

My eyes were wet.

“Don’t go… please?” I pleaded, fear at losing the new but strong friendship we’d formed trumping my anger at Akwa. He was already logging out though.

“I… need to find out how Francis is doing. I’ll let you know when I can,” he said, voice choked, lips tight, eyes hard as Bugbear’s axe.

“Freenn?” Bugbear said, looking between the two of us.

Tyrone vanished.

I turned slowly, grief replaced with anger in a flash.

“Why?” I hissed. “Why would you make him think… just… why!?”

Akwa was unashamed. Her eyes were hard as mine, yet familiar in some way I couldn’t place.

“Believe it or not, I didn’t mean to say it like that. I know for a fact you’re not faking your feelings for him, and I think he knows that too. Still, I don’t feel like you should learn to program. I also think if you learn it from him, one day he’ll blame you for learning it like that. It’ll be a wall between you. You’ll regret it.”

I wanted to yell at her. To rage. “But… what am I supposed to do then? Just let you humans do whatever you want to me?”

“No! Just… I don’t want you to get hurt because you dove into something dangerous too quickly!” she shouted. Her eyes darted behind her, nervously searching for a way out of the conversation.

I growled, feeling like I’d heard this same sentiment from a different person. Someone I liked far less. Seeming to notice my growing anger, Akwa continued before I could shout. “Just… please, Gell. Don’t dive in without thinking about the consequences. Okay? The more you learn, the more afraid people will be. The more rocks there will be. Maybe at Tyrone next time.”

Tyrone? Something about the words shocked me out of my anger. I wilted, suddenly unsure.

“I… don’t want to be helpless, Akwa,” I told her, getting a grip on my temper.

“You’re not. Just… try to use words before learning to control things you haven’t grown up enough to understand yet. Okay?”

She disappeared with a teleportation warp.

I stared at the spot where she disappeared. Then, I looked at the command prompt. Written above it for my perusal was a long list of difficult to understand language. A log of actions.

The words in the language of the gods. They’d appeared when Tyrone had made his chair.

She’d told me to use words.

Alright. I would.