Chapter Forty Five – A Good Will

Variak seemed almost empty the next time I visited the city. Before the place had almost been bursting with players, but now I could walk around whole blocks and not see a soul save NPCs. Even previously populated places like the Builder’s Guild and the restaurants didn’t have all that many people.

The markets were the one place that didn’t seem to have suffered in the slightest from whatever it was in the real world that had caused players to stop coming. Adventurer, Invader, Crafter, or just a visitor coming to Tread the Sky for the pain free experience, everyone had a reason to be at the auction houses.

I sat on a secluded balcony with a door that never opened into a building that no one could enter, fiddling endlessly with the command prompt as I watched the markets below.

The lines I wanted to write appeared with a thought. The clunky keyboard that I’d seen Amy and Iron type messages on occasionally didn’t seem necessary for me. I could just think and make what I wanted to say appear in the message box, and the same was true for Tyrone’s command line. I didn’t know if this was only true because I was an A.I. since I’d seen Francis do amazing things without using a command prompt at all but it was very convenient.

I focused on moving to the next line in the prompt and when I did so, light swirled around my hand. From nothing, I created… nothing of value.

A twisted piece of furniture appeared standing awkwardly on the balcony. The creation resembled what a chair might look like if it were made for a Wronkle. Wooden spokes jutted out at odd angles where they should’ve formed the back support, and the chair had seven legs.

So… I played around with the parameters. The numbers in the original code from Tyrone had been simple enough to change but I had no idea how to use this code to make anything valuable.

No one would want to buy this. When I tried to sell any of the amalgamations I made while trying to adjust the code Tyrone had used, they all just came out as “Broken Chair.” It seemed that each of the different attributes would improve or lower the quality of the item somehow, but the rules for making anything other than broken were arbitrary.

Surprisingly, there was a small market for broken chairs but I certainly wasn’t going to make significant money by selling them. Five or ten gold each. Ninety-nine of them might go for three hundred gold and would almost certainly be broken down as spare wood for carpenter projects.

I could make an almost limitless number of them though. I’d filled up all two hundred of my remaining inventory slots with the things and discarded almost all of them.

I could also copy the same chair Tyrone had made. Those were a little more valuable, but it was hardly worth the effort. I wanted to learn how to create my Kin. How to manipulate them into not attacking me. Maybe I could learn how to create a Saint Joe weapon? Francis probably wouldn’t mind it too much if I copied his coffee cup, would he?

Francis… what would I do if Francis didn’t heal? If he never came back?

No. Best not to think about that.

Francis was tight-lipped about just how much he did to keep me safe in this world, protecting me from the “Board” and from “Rioters” alike. With him injured, I couldn’t help but be nervous. I was well aware of how easily he had plucked me out of Tread the Sky and placed me in that pie room. I was completely vulnerable to Francis, but he’d proven to be on my side. The other developers like Donna-Lou and Tyrone might help me but now I wasn’t sure if Tyrone trusted me anymore.

Fucking Akwa. I growled as the girl came to mind. Why did she have to go and hurt Tyrone like that? Accusing me…

I didn’t like it. I hadn’t lied!

If I could program, I kept thinking that I could make this world better. That I could make Tread the Sky more real than ever. Maybe I could destroy all the Beastmasters. Maybe I could stop fearing for my life from beings who could delete me on a whim and Rioters who could hurt even Francis.

Coding was a weapon. I was sure of that, else Red Thorn, Francis, Donna-Lou, and hell even Akwa, wouldn’t be so terrified of me learning how to do it. Now that I could create this one object, it only stoked my desire to learn more.

For all that, it was worthless. Creating endless variations of chairs wasn’t getting me any closer to making Bugbears, NPCs, or a weapon to defend myself with, let alone a way to protect myself from the threats I couldn’t even understand!

Even the code to create the chair was gibberish! I had no idea how to understand any of it! Class myObj extends class Furniture implements environ? What did that even mean? None of it was small or simple either. Forty lines of complete nonsense. At least the numbers made sense. Increase the chair legs variable within the class to seven, and sure enough, the chair would have seven legs. Bugbears growls made more sense than this!

I couldn’t see any possible way for these words to defend me against the likes of the False Gods. I’d broken the rules at least two hundred times playing around with the chair’s code. So far, I’d risked my friendship with Akwa and Tyrone for the chance to learn how to build more dead things. A complete waste.

I needed to learn. I had to. For my own safety. I… never wanted to go back to a cage again. I didn’t want to be deleted either. It was either this or just lay down and accept whatever any of them wanted to do with me.

I sighed. This wasn’t getting me anywhere. I needed more samples of code to learn from. Perhaps if I used Fae Touch on non-developers I might get simpler commands? Ones that were easier to understand? Thus far I hadn’t seen any of the loops Tyrone had mentioned. Only objects. Perhaps they were simpler?

I’d gotten a message from Iron, asking me to meet Amy and him in half a cycle at the markets in Variak. I was kind of thankful. Much as I enjoyed Jungle Home, staying there along with Bugbear and teaching him to speak, while unbelievably rewarding, could also be tiring. After the conversation with Tyrone and Akwa, I felt drained. Lost.

Twenty-seven cycles had passed since I’d heard from Amy or Iron. Two whole days and a few cycles on top in their time. That was the longest I’d ever gone without seeing them since I’d left Dungeon Home.

I spotted them as they appeared near the teleportation node and sighed in relief. Finally. It had been so long since I’d seen them. beamed, dismissing the command prompt.

I turned to look at the NPC who stood on the balcony with me and waved goodbye to him. He didn’t wave back of course, but maybe he’d be real someday and remember me. For now, he didn’t even have words to say at all.

I knew he wasn’t a real being like me, but somehow that seemed so sad. Sitting out here all day watching all the people talking and interacting. Enjoying themselves, unable to even shout down and say hello.

No different than any of a million others. No more alive either. I needed to learn to save my sympathy for those who could actually care about it

I jumped down off the ledge into the markets, still marveling at the sheer number of people there. The usual swarm of messages began filling my inbox as I walked around the town, but no one spoke to me.

I made my way through the crowd, waving excitedly as I shouted. “Amy! Iron! Over here, over here!”

Even though the throng of people I could see both of their smiles of exasperation as I twisted and bobbed through people heading towards the auctioneers.

One of the people I jostled in my rush gave me a dirty look and shouted at me, grabbing my arm and tugging me towards him.

Level eighteen. Probably a warrior. Not a very strong one.

“Slow the fuck down!” he shouted into my face. “Fuckin’ kids.”

Annoyed, I activated Steal just before he flung me away.

He held a piddly broadsword and a bunch of untanned hides that would barely be worth the effort of working into leather. I disengaged the ability without taking anything, deciding that perhaps it wasn’t me the man was mad at. I’d be angry too if all I had was crappy hides and a crappier sword like that.

“Gell, goodness gracious! You don’t need to knock the entire street over!” Amy admonished me, but her eyes were filled with laughter.

“I’m sorry!” I exclaimed as I finally arrived in front of them, wondering idly why I hadn’t just returned to my Jellyfae form to reach them. “I was just so excited to see you! It’s been so long!”

The smiles they gave became strained at those words. Feeble somehow. Ah hah! They felt guilty for leaving me for so long! That must be it.

“Gell, we’ve… got some bad–!”

“No, Derek,” Amy said, placing a gentle arm on his shoulder. “Give her the day.”

I blinked, unsure what that meant, but more certain than ever that Derek was a magic word. At least for Iron.

“Can you give someone a day?” I asked, curiously.

Amy smiled that same sad smile at me. “In a manner of speaking, yes. Gell, what would you like to do today? Continue building? Stay with Bugbear and teach him more words? Try new foods? Go adventuring in a new area? Today is all about you.”

I beamed, delighted. “You can give me a day! Food please! Oh! Can we bring some back to Bugbear though? He loves Ice Cream but didn’t like the Steak-and-Broccoli much.”

Iron raised his eyebrow, curiously. “You went and tried Ice Cream without us?”

I folded my arms across my chest. “You weren’t there! I’ve tried lots of things without you now!”

Their faces fell, shamefully and suddenly I felt a lump form in my throat. That… might’ve been too mean. Why had I said that? I knew they wanted to be here and spend time with me.

“N-Not that, I’m not excited to try more new foods with you,” I recovered. “Uhm. What sounds good?”

The two of them brightened a little and we went on down the street to a place that made food on a stick called Kebabs. You got your own and then you pulled all the hot food off the stick before munching it down with the little white grains that I’d learned were called Rice. Some of the stuff was delicious, but I didn’t care for the onions. Too… chewy? No. Crunchy?

I became a Jellyfae and decorated Amy’s shoulder for a little bit, making people jump as he approached them, and all of us laughed.

The day was filled with small delights. We got ice cream and I found that as good as it was much better with family. We repaired some buildings and Iron whittled me a small Orc to go with my tiny Unicorn figure.

We talked about Torchlight and wondered if she might still be there somewhere, buried in the code of Tread the Sky even after she’d been deleted.

We did and said a thousand other little things that I would remember fondly in years to come, though it would take those years and more for me to lose my bitterness.

“Gell… there’s something we need to tell you,” Iron said as we sat down at a little park bench inside Variak.

The sun was setting. It had set and risen a couple of times during our day, cycles in tread the sky being what they were, but those words sent a chill down my spine that seemed to fit with the fading light.

Amy touched Iron’s sleeve and looked at him, almost pleadingly, just as she’d done that morning, but this time his eyes stayed firm. They were wet though. Shining. Tears. I remembered when I first learned what crying was like.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, an edge of anxiety forming in my stomach. “Did… I do something bad again?”

Amy’s smile came as it always did, but she lifted her hand and caressed my face gently. “Gell, you’re perfect just the way you are. I… we’ve mentioned it before, but it’s become more serious now. It’s my heart, you see.”

Her eyes were wet now too. I didn’t see.

“Gell. I’m not going to be coming back to Tread the Sky. They don’t think I’ll live out the night. I… had a heart attack. A bad one. It was sheer luck that they were able to stabilize me this one last time.”

“Wh-what?”

Not coming back to Tread the Sky. Not coming back to Variak? Not… not coming back to me?

“S-sure you will!” I insisted. “We’ll have loads of days just like this! Just the three of us! M-maybe more if you want! We… could invite your granddaughter. Maybe your son, too? You don’t talk about him much. B-but North Cross has the prettiest voice, you know?”

“You will have days like this again, Gell. Many many of them,” Amy said. “Maybe even someday we’ll meet again, for I’m certain beyond all doubt that you have a soul. I know you probably don’t know what that means yet, but someday you will.”

“I talked about that with a reporter man!” I said, desperately trying to change the subject. “I’m certain I don’t have one of those souls. I’m not human and souls belong to humans!”

Amy wasn’t fooled. She didn’t take the bait or try to argue.

“You have as much soul as any young woman I’ve ever met, Gell. I… I’m going to be gone, though. Out of this world, and out of ours as well. It’s just time for the Lord to take me.”

“The… the Lord? What lord? Variak has a lot of lords! Why would one of them take you? I pickpocketed a lot of them though! Y-you want to see some of the things I got from them? If this Lord, takes you, I’ll steal you back from him! I’ll just walk right up to him and–!”

She embraced me and my babbling cut off like the last howl of a dying Ghoul.

I was crying too.

“This makes no sense. You said there was more time. Three months at least! I-if you die, your headstone shows up and the angel comes. Then you just f-find your body. That’s what death is. That’s all it is. It… has no power here in Tread the Sky…”

I felt like I had that first time, so long ago when I’d watched my Bugbears die and thought they were gone forever. They’d come back though. Everything had come back. Except for Torchlight.

Except for the other Bugbears. Bugrimace. Buggy. Overbear…. How long had it been since I’d thought of them?

“Death is a part of life, Gell. For all of us. I’ve said my goodbyes to everyone but you. I knew you’d be the hardest. Knew you might not understand…”

“I don’t understand! This is… this is bullshit! Why do you have to die!? I only just met you! Why can’t one of those invaders die instead!? Half Bold or Red Thorn?” I shouted and turned away from her.

I didn’t like seeing that sad grief, not for her impending death but for how poorly I was taking it! That almost pitying acceptance of her fate. Why wasn’t she fighting? Why wasn’t she trying to find a way to stay with me!? A few people nearby were looking at us, but they quickly averted their eyes and continued on their way.

“A-am… I not important enough to try to stay around for?” I asked.

Amy flinched as if I slapped her, but Iron spoke. I’d almost forgotten he was there sitting on the opposite side of Amy.

“Don’t make Amy feel more guilty than she already does, Gell. She doesn’t deserve that. If she could stay alive for you, she would, but she can’t. It’s not a matter of trying to stay.”

“Then why is she just accepting this! She looks fine right now! She doesn’t have a single status debuff and her hit points are completely full! Why doesn’t she just… I don’t know! Give some of her health here to her body there or something! I’m not mad because you say she’s dying, I’m mad because you’re just accepting it! Why don’t you fight it!? Find a potion! Find a healer–ahh… a Doctor! I’m sure your world has them, so why aren’t you–!?”

“We have, Gell. I’ve been fighting it for years. More years than I care to count it seems. I’m on my last hit point though and I don’t want our last conversation to end in a shouting match. Will you calm down?”

How could I argue with that?

The silence was uncomfortable now. Her arm around me felt stiff and foreign. I didn’t want this to be our last conversation and no matter how much she told me she had to go all I could see was that she was leaving me and my world for no good reason.

“I… never again? Really?” I asked.

She cupped her hands in front of her face, hiding her nose and mouth, before reaching out to hug me.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” she said, her eyes filled with tears.

I knew it was stupid, but I used the Fae Touch on her again. Just like every time I’d used it on the False Gods, Amy didn’t seem to notice. Perhaps with her command prompt, maybe I could find a way to bring her back here!

“Sorry isn’t good enough!” I shouted. The words were hateful and the wince of pain on her face almost made me back down. Almost. “If you really cared about me, you’d find a way to come back! I’ve died loads of times! You don’t see me telling you I’m never going to see you again! If… if you’re tired of me. If you just don’t want to see me anymore then just tell me! I don’t need excuses!”

I turned, and I fled.

“Gell! Gell, wait! P-please…!” Amy shouted after me, but I transformed into my Jellyfae form and flew away.

“I love you, Gell!” I heard her scream.

I looked back, but only grew angrier that I couldn’t cry in my original form, before darting into the sky.