“America?” I repeated, my face surely showed my confusion.

After the funeral came to a close, we headed to the car. Before we could even leave, the others gave a surprising announcement.

With tears in her eyes, Emma nodded her head.

“I can’t- We can’t do this anymore after what happened and-”

“And I have connections for non-combat focused work through my guild, but unfortunately…” Sophia trailed off.

“The only open spots are in America.” Jameson finished the rest for her.

I didn’t feel anything from the announcement, except shock. Then, anger slowly started creeping up. It didn’t feel fair to me, to have these people- people I considered friends- just leave.

“How long?” The words came out of my mouth on their own.

“What?” Jameson asked.

“How long did it take you to decide?”

“We spoke after… Grant died.”

“So you’re all going? When?”

“In a few days,” Sophia replied before continuing, “The positions won’t be open forever.”

“And no one wanted to tell me? Aren’t we friends? You couldn’t just…- If you just-” I felt myself getting worked up.

“Listen, Casper...” Emma interrupted. “Compared to you, this was never something we could do for long. For us, the end goal has always been to build up enough experience to find an easy position. It was… It was like we were just pretending, but you’re the real thing. It hasn’t been long since you started and yet you’re already so strong.”

“That doesn’t mean I-”

“Would you quit and come to America with us if we asked?” Jameson asked.

I became bitter at the question because I knew the answer. I would’ve refused, but even knowing that didn’t alleviate my feelings on the matter. We stood in silence for a few moments before they exchanged looks.

“Sophia and I will go start the car.” Jameson gave his excuse and headed off with Sophia, leaving me alone with Emma.

“...You’ll be someone great, Casper. It’s obvious, it may not be today or tomorrow, but one day soon everyone is going to know your name. I just hope you wouldn’t have forgotten about me when that time comes. ” Emma smiled at me.

It was a genuine smile that seemed to wholeheartedly believe in me. That smile just made me hurt more than I already had.

“Casper.” She approached me, drawing in close. “I…”

Instead of finishing her sentence, she suddenly kissed me. Then, she just wrapped her arms around me and began to tremble ever so slightly. And I…

There were things I wanted to say to them and to her. Terrible thoughts filled my mind, urging me to call them all selfish. I was filled with the mistaken belief that I could somehow try to convince them to stay. I even- I felt like just Emma staying with me would be just enough and wanted to tell her that, but… I didn’t know if that desire stemmed from fear of being alone or the reciprocation of feelings. Since I couldn’t differentiate between the two, I said nothing at all. I wouldn’t be the corpse to drag her down like I had been so many times before.

I just hugged her, thinking this was probably the final time I would ever see her.

A little while later and I was standing outside of my apartment. At some point, I had arrived here, but I still didn’t realize exactly when that was.

I turned back to face the car where I could see my friends. They waved at me, but there was no joy in it. It was the kind of wave you give when you know it’s likely to be the last time you’re seeing someone. I gave a weak wave in response before I entered the building.

My mind was a mess of all the things that had transpired ever since finding the artifact on my finger. I didn’t know if I was heading in a better direction or not, but it was far too late to even turn around. I knew that for certain.

Perhaps to distract myself, I removed my ring in the hopes of discovering what the strange interaction back at the funeral was about.

To my surprise, my souls had increased.

Current Amount Of Souls: 2230

Cemeteries seemed to be a place worth visiting more often. Just entering one had netted me 500 souls, but I’m not sure if it was due to the strange sequence of events that came with it.

I turned the page and a new set of words began to form in front of my eyes.

Your innate gift has evolved.

There was no additional explanation that followed which told me I needed to figure out what changed for myself. If I was forced to sit in that rowboat with that crazy old man then I’d be in for a nightmarish experience. I dove into my bed and stared at the ceiling for a while.

“Haven’t I suffered enough?” I closed my eyes, but sleep didn’t come as easy as I wanted it to.

As bitter of a thought it was, I felt the answer was a universal “no” deep down. What did I want with my abilities? Power? Money? Status? It didn’t matter really. The only thing I could say for certain was I hadn’t suffered nearly enough to begin to desire any of those things. I fought, sure, and I nearly died, but those experiences meant nothing in the grand scheme of things.

“That’s right,” I mumbled as I climbed out of my bed.

I found some bone fragments and summoned my war scythe before heading into my living room.

I wouldn’t find peace at this rate. As much as I obsessed over death and saw it as something graceful for others, my own didn’t scare me. I could understand why at that moment. I had accomplished nothing and I hadn’t struggled nearly enough.

Of all the deaths I’ve witnessed, the memories I peered into, those people all lived in some way and most died unwillingly because they had lived in their own way and felt that it was good enough to struggle for. In this incredibly small piece of existence, ordinary people had lived to the best of their ability and valued their own lives so much they grew attached. The hallucination at the cemetery showed me that much. Even those who were dead for an unknowable amount of time still clung onto me for the slightest chance at life.

“And what was it that I held onto?” I asked myself as I began practicing Penelope’s Dance.

No, this time, it wasn’t just practice. I put everything I had into each movement in an attempt to grind out every single fiber of strength in my body. I would go until I collapsed on the ground and could no longer move.

It was as if I was struck by enlightenment like someone receiving a divine revelation. Life was sometimes a cruel struggle to carve out your existence so that you could die knowing that you had lived. I could see why my own death felt hollow to me. I hadn’t lived properly, especially considering the power I had gained.

“So I’ll start living from this moment,” I said to myself.

I practiced every single step of Penelope’s Dance as if I was fighting for my life. It was something I could sustain for a long time and just as I expected, my body gave out and I collapsed to the floor as a sweating mess, but I laughed.

I laughed like a complete psycho and didn’t care if anyone could hear me. So what if they did? I had taken the first step onto what would be a very long journey. There was cause for celebration, even if that only entailed excited laughter.