Future Tense (Part two)

The Chief Engineer grabbed the coffee like his life depended on it. Since a fleet of cloaked and silent ships was inbound, maybe he was right.

The Longshot laughed “ You do know you're seriously old now? You need to watch your blood pressure.”

The Chief scowled “ Yes Sir, three bags full. What can I do to help?”

The Avatar reflected. “ I’m not sure who the good guys are. I’m not even sure there are any good guys, except us, obviously. Take weapons and sensors, stop anything hitting us. In fact, stop anyone hitting anyone else if you can. Let’s have a chat instead.”

The Longshot moved between the incoming fleet and the station. She broadcast a very simple message on all frequencies and in every language she knew.

“Sos cogaidh. Is mian linn labhairt. Sos cogaidh, nó bainfimid do chumas dóiteáin a bhaint amach. ”

“ Ceasefire. We wish to talk. Ceasefire, or we will remove your ability to fire.”

The Longshot frowned, “ It sounded better in Irish. All this beeping is annoying.”

The Chief Engineer was busy trying to intercept several hundred missiles, losing ship mass by the second. Unhappy would be a fair description.

“ Boss, you better shut these fuckers down before we end up standing in the toilet.”

The incoming Fleet finally got the message that, firstly the strange ship in orbit could see them and secondly, it wasn’t about to let them shoot up the station.

The Hammel station was fairly quick on the uptake. It stopped shooting.

The Longshot turned to the Chief “ Alright. Everyone has stopped shooting for a minute. Can you go wake up our diplomat? This looks like some great big pile of steaming organic matter. So I’ll leave it to you. I’ll mind the shop.”

Diplomatic Advisor Adri was currently eating as many calories as humanly possible, in the shortest possible time. When he went into stasis he was, in his own opinion, a fine figure of a man. He had the imposing figure of a diplomat! Now he looked and felt like a gym rat teenager. It just wouldn’t work as a career choice.

Then the Chief interrupted, “Captain needs you to do your thing. Try not to shag anything on your way out.”

Adri looked up from his plate. “Really? Did you drop us another few hundred years from home? I take it you made a mess I need to clean up.”

“Not me, apparently we arrived just in time for a war. The Captain wants you to go to work. Time to get off your skinny ass and save us from the aliens."

Despite the tone, the men were friends. The crew had known the risks when they took the mission and a shiny new first contact was a diplomatic dream. His name would be on every treaty, maybe even on a new world.

Hammel Station watched with interest. The Human ship didn't seem to have weapons, as he understood them. Or everything was a weapon.

The Longshot had sparked like a firework, tiny motes flying from the hull to intercept his missiles. Plasma didn't work either, being effortlessly dispersed into space.

He ruled out any further hostile actions against humans.

The Diplomatic Advisor arrived on the bridge.

" Hello Captain, who are we shooting at? Also, what the hell happened to me in stasis? It looks like I melted!"

The Longshot grinned. " As Captain, I'm responsible for your health and welfare. Your body was out of shape and, since you weren't using it, I took it for a walk. A lot. No need to thank me. Now, however, I need your brain."

She pointed at the sensors. One slow-learner was still shooting.

"Do your thing, make everyone love us. Find out what the fuck they want."

Adri used the Imperium language to try and communicate. If the attackers couldn't even translate an enemy language, it suggested that talking wasn't important to them. Useful to know.

"This is the human ship Longshot. We are in a first contact situation with the Imperium. We have no military or cultural ambitions here. Are you willing to receive a diplomatic drone from us?"

*Unknown species*unacceptable interference*acknowledged military superiority* Drone accepted*

Longshot read the message. 'So, not big talkers. I'll send the drone, maybe they prefer texting. Either they have a very different way of communicating or it's crewed by teenagers."

The drone was a multi-spectrum device, well programmed for cultural acquisition. It was small, with a lot of shiny lights and it made the occasional beep and generally looked harmless. It also clumsily banged into things. Especially things the humans wanted to know about.

Longshot and the crew watched as the drone approached the largest alien ship. Unknown, hopefully, was the trail of nanoparticles that went with it. They were the actual human diplo tech. The shiny drone was mostly for effect.

"We are in. Integrating with the alien vessel. We should have a name shortly."

The Chief was reading the Intel as it came in. "They're using bio-circuits. Not a good sign, usually means something unhelpful. They call themselves/itself the Crescent, or something close to that."

Adri was watching the same information. He turned to Longshot,

"Most of our approaches to hiveminds fail. We confuse them too much, we believe. Safer for everyone if it thinks that you are the guiding Intelligence here and we are simple tools.

The Avatar smiled and went to speak. "Don't make any smart comments, I know where your fuse-box is." She laughed, "Firstly, I agree with your decision. Secondly, I don't have a fuse-box because I'm not a toaster. Back to work, please."

The Crescent ship was an ugly bitch, she thought. Scans showed odd, pointless extrusions, almost organic. The Longshot knew perfectly well that it made no difference in space but..ugh. Still, the universe was big, maybe they could be friends.

The plan fell apart as soon as the drone entered the ship. Several figures fell upon it, dragging it to the floor. They began enthusiastically trying to dismantle it, waving primitive scanners over every broken piece.

"Well that went to shit quickly" remarked Adri. " I'll go talk to the station, this is more your thing. Call me when you need me, I'll be in the canteen. Excitement always makes me hungry.” Longshot ordered the drone to dissolve, covering the attackers in goop. As a minor act of impatience, she made the goop work as a hair remover. Then she called the ship, "This is the Longshot. I don't appreciate your treatment of our drone. Explain or consequences will follow."

*Unwanted interference*unknown entity*information was required*hostilities resumed*

"Chief, I need you to disable those ships. They are a clear threat to the station and have resumed hostilities."

The Chief Engineer went to work, ignoring the incoming fire. This time the alien ships only attacked the Longshot, dismissing the station. The Chief started humming as he plotted the response, turning all the nanoparticles in the alien flagship to new purposes.

It took him a moment to poison the bioware. Suddenly the flagship, pack leader or whatever died. Within moments the entire alien fleet hung, quite literally, dead in space.

Longshot looked at her Chief Engineer, " I can see why you aren't in the diplomatic corps. I said disable, not massacre."

The Chief looked a bit sheepish." Well, you know what it's like with new alien tech. I was trying to turn off their weapons. Perhaps I hit the wrong button?" She sighed,

"Get our Intel drones out there. I'm guessing this isn't over yet."

Her Diplomatic Advisor was stuffing his face while exchanging recipes with Hammel Station. Apparently the Imperium diplomats were desperately trying to find out what had happened to the attacking fleet. Adri had directed them to the Chief. This was much more useful, " So you're entirely vegetarian in this empire of yours? Fascinating. We manufacture many proteins and fats from similar compounds.

Perhaps you would like to try some? I'm afraid it reflects our distant past as omnivores, but we retain them purely for taste and texture. Why don't you come over for dinner.? I would love your opinion on curry."

He looked at his display. " I'm afraid I must speak to the Captain. I'll see you at dinner. I believe we have some wine that should go well with the meal."

The Avatar was going over the autopsy of the alien ships as it came in, "I expect you enjoyed your meal? Tell me what you know."

Adri suddenly changed his demeanor. Gone was the avuncular, chatty chap. Instead he showed the true face of Human diplomacy, "The Imperium is an agrarian empire, driven by, initially at least, climate collapse. Technology is mediocre. They have faced few, if any, decent enemies. If they face a true hivemind, they will be annihilated. Military is, I suspect, plentiful but poorly trained and equipped.

A small force of our people could probably disrupt food supplies enough to bring the whole thing down. I could, acting alone, create a dependence on human tech that would ensure their, ahh, cooperation, permanently. I'll know more tonight. I await your orders, Captain."

The Longshot nodded. "I knew there was a reason we kept you. Me and the Chief will deal with the unfriendlies, you can give away a bunch of food tech."

She paused. They were only halfway home, after all, "Nothing they can't support themselves, for now. We probably won't be around long enough to need another dependent Xeno. Oh, and I want some of that curry. I missed your cooking."

Adri met the Chief while he was examining hardcopies of the Intel, "Chief?"

"Oh, back again? Don't tell me you're still hungry!"

"No, it's your translation. That's not a Crescent. That's a Scythe."

"Shit."