Toys

The crew were worried. The ship was safe, running perfectly and ahead of time. They were sitting around telling tall tales of strange things they had seen in space. Except one, one crewman that was drinking too much coffee and poking at every machine. The human was bored. Finally, they asked the Captain to intervene before something happened. No-one was quite sure about what would happen but none of the stories ended well.

“Engineer Elles. I am aware that your time in space is normally more ...exciting than this but you are beginning to unnerve the crew. Are you sure there is nothing you could be doing?” Elles looked up, distracted, “Oh that. I’m fine. I have found something to entertain us all and it’s completely harmless. Space can be dull so I think this might add a bit of colour. Are you familiar with the human festival of Christmas?” The Captain nodded his head reluctantly, “Yes Engineer. I believe it is a solstice festival associated with gifts. Am I correct?

Elles grinned, “Yes Sir, exactly right. Well, it just passed and I’d like to give out some gifts to the crew. Totally harmless, ancient puzzle games from our past. Absolutely no technology beyond a little plastic.”

The Captain hesitated, “Nothing explosive? No AI involved?” Elles smiled broadly, “A simple child’s toy from our pre-space days. Not even a battery. I thought the crew might enjoy it. Traditionally toys are a popular gift around this time and I remembered this from when I was a child. In many ways, it’s why I became an Engineer.”

The Captain relaxed, “Well, of course. Feel free to include the crew in your little festival.”

Elles smiled and handed him a small gift-wrapped box. “Then Sir, I present you with the first one. Merry Christmas!” The Captain bowed to the Engineer and left, relieved that his human had found such a harmless pastime and that he was even willing to involve the crew. That would sort out any lingering fears. When he returned to his office he left the gift on his desk and promptly forgot about it.

Elles spent a happy hour wandering the ship and presenting everyone with his small gifts, always with a ‘Merry Christmas’ and a wide smile. By the end of the middle shift, every member of the crew had a small gift-wrapped box. They were strangely reluctant to open them despite the Captains reassurance. By some strange osmosis, many gravitated to the canteen with the small boxes.

“Did he give one to everyone? Has anyone opened it yet?”

“Well. its a gift so I thought I would open it here in company, you know so we could all...admire it.” From the general shuffle that seemed to be a common sentiment.

One of the Comms operators decided enough was enough. His people were renowned as warriors and he liked the human anyway. “Fine, I’ll start.” He tore off the beautiful paper and was left with a plain white box. He carefully opened it and emptied out a small cube and a piece of paper. The cube was a three-by-three construction, each face with nine separate components, each face a different colour. He regarded it carefully, raising it to his antenna and shaking it. “It’s solid.” He sniffed it, “Just plastic.” He picked up the piece of paper. It had a picture and a simple message ‘Merry Christmas, please enjoy this little toy. Simply get all the colours lined up as shown in the picture, best wishes, Elles’ He looked at the picture, obviously the same cube but with a new alignment. He cautiously twisted the cube, “Ah, a child’s puzzle. It turns on all axis. Whatever a ‘Merry Christmas’ is doesn’t seem very complicated.”

Around him, the crew were opening their gifts to discover an identical object. The crew relaxed, idly twisting the parts as they began solving the human puzzle.

It was a matter of hours before Elles comms started to light up. He put it on silent and grinned in the dark.

The Captain moved hurriedly to the Engineering section, finding Elles assembling some more nuisance tech that would no doubt cause problems. “Chief, please. My Crew are spending all their time with your wretched gift. They are convinced that there is no solution and that you have fooled them all with this gift!” Elles looked up absentmindedly “Really? How odd.” He pulled a cube from his pocket and handed it to the Captain. “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you take a moment to shuffle that up any way you like and I’ll show you the solution?”

With a deep breath, the Captain turned and twisted the cube until it was as muddled as possible. He had no idea what he was doing but he wanted to know the answer. He handed it back to the Engineer. Elles looked at it briefly and began twisting it quickly, far to fast to follow. In less than a minute the cube showed exactly the picture that had come in the box, each of the faces one solid colour. He smiled at the Captain, “There, you see, just as simple as I remember it as a child. Funny how these things stick. Muscle memory I suppose. Was there anything else?”

Any Captain that hired Elles needed a serious amount of brainpower behind him. He held the cube thoughtfully. “Thank you, Engineer. I will assure the crew that it is a simple child’s game and show them your...solution.” He left grinning to himself. It was unlikely that the crew would be complaining about the human again. He left the solved puzzle on his desk for all the crew to see.

The crew spent hours, days trying to figure it out. An unspoken agreement had arisen that asking the Engineer for help was forbidden, but that the Captain’s cube was available to anyone that could come up with a convincing excuse to visit his office. After a couple of incidents, it was decided that disciplinary meetings didn’t count. Things took a sharp turn when one of the junior Ensigns gleefully announced she had solved it. Her prospects for promotion dropped rapidly when she announced that she wouldn’t be sharing the secret.

Elles relaxed in his department, happily fiddling with a new idea he had while the crew wrapped themselves in knots over a Rubix cube. ‘Happy Christmas’ he murmured to himself in the pleasant silence. Perhaps next year they would like to learn the rules of ‘Monopoly’.