Seafarer, (Part Four)

A much-humbled voice came back, “I’m so sorry, Engineer. How can I help?”

That sounded promising. “Good to have you back. I need a level six Decom on Medbay. That…thing calling itself a doctor has turned it into an animal's den. Also, can you track what qualifications it has? I don’t believe it's a medic, not if this is how it treats medical equipment.”

There was a pause and the Medbay door slammed close and a red light began flashing. Nanotech was released into the room and it was scoured back to the hull plates. Medbays were designed for it. Heavy radiation poured across every surface, even as anything organic was turned to dust and expelled into space.

After a few moments, the door opened and he pushed up his helmet. Now it smelled like a Medbay, faintly of ozone and antiseptic. It was clean. Whatever the doctor had kept here or left to die under rotten blankets was gone. Then he slammed down his helmet again and looked at it as an Engineer. His HUD mapped out the small gaps where vital equipment was supposed to be. It found nearly all the chips missing on the few machines that were still in one piece. The room had been gutted and not by the good doctor. This had been dismantled by one of his own. This was the work of an Engineer.

Fuck

He hit the Comms, “Seafarer, I need you to track all the missing parts on the list I’m sending you. I hope to fuck they are stashed somewhere and not just dumped into space .”

There was a slight hesitation and then the Seafarer answered, “Engineer, I must remind you that I’m not supposed to be here. If I begin scanning the entire ship there is no way even a Captain as…relaxed as ours is going to fail to notice.”

Mcgivney stopped. This was not the time to shout and hit things. “Alright, follow up on my query about the medic and leave the Captain to me. Do what you can in Engineering, maybe we get lucky and he took the parts home.”

He walked back into the Medbay and looked around, searching for anything that might tell him what the hell had been going on. The only piece of equipment that seemed to be working was the pill dispenser, a piece of kit you could find in any home or office. It pumped out the basics like hangover cures or headache pills. Multi-species anti-biotics, band-aids, simple cures for simple problems. It seemed to be on a different circuit from the rest of the room. A closer look, one that involved him prying off the cover, revealed that the thing had been upgraded. He punched his suit into its tiny database and grabbed the list of drugs it had dispensed. One just repeated over and over, others seemed to be weekly or monthly. He didn’t recognise any of them which told him two things. They weren’t supposed to be there and an Engineer had done this as well.

This time he didn’t bother Seafarer, he hit his comms and punched in his fleet number. His name had so many flags on it he felt like the fucking united nations sometimes. In less than seven seconds a familiar moustache appeared, “Dave, you’re early! How can I help?”

“Hello Sir, we have a couple of problems. I feel you might want to help.”

The moustache seemed to sniff, “Dave, if this isn’t related to your issues then perhaps I could refer you somewhere else…”

“Well Doctor, that depends. I can’t make my meds because an Engineer has gone rogue and trashed the Medbay. I have an AI that doesn’t technically exist on this ship that is trying to help and a fake doctor that I’m pretty sure is a junkie that has been drugging the crew. Who would you recommend?”

It turned into a conference call pretty quickly after that. Seafarer chipped in that the ‘Doctor’ didn’t exist on any medical database she could find and that his species were far below the Galatic Educational standard for such professions. The badge he wore translated as ‘Faith Healer’ and was self-assigned. The drug that was constantly being dispensed was a powerful painkiller and euphoric for his species and illegal on their homeworld.

Two of the other drugs were unrelated to the obvious addiction. One was used to render the species of the Second officer into a childhood state known as pre-cohesion and was reserved for surgery.

The other was a narcotic that sent the Captain's species into a trance. It was a traditional medicine, vastly improved by modern technology.

Mcgivney thought for a moment, “Can you send me the formula for counter-agents? Something I can use to break the effects on the Captain and the Second?”

After a mad scramble through humanity's finest databases, they produced a couple of candidates. One of the AI, he couldn’t remember its name, spoke up, “And the faith healer? What do you plan to do with him?”

The Engineer gave a grim laugh, “I’m going to tell him that the Medbay is closed to him until he sits for a recognised medical qualification and let him sweat out the drugs he’s so fond of.”

He closed his Comms and wandered up to the ‘Doctor’ who had made it nearly ten feet in his panic. He leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to go and find all the bits of the Second and put him all back together again. Isn’t that nice! And I bet you good money, like porn-crab money, that he knows who has been spraying him with that shit for months. Then I’m going to go and wake the Captain up. But I might stop for a drink, take my time about it. If I were you I would learn to run.” He stopped and stepped back, then he slowly shook his head, “Evolution has not been your friend. Best of luck, doctor of all ills.”

It took him nearly an hour to herd all the various bits of the Second into the canteen and keep them busy with sweets while Seafarer produced the antigens he needed. For the first time, her Avatar arrived outside of Engineering as she brought a spray bottle to him. She seemed enchanted by the mundane corridors and rooms she passed. He gently took the bottle from her hand as she stared out the window at the passing dark. “Thank you.”

He sprayed the room, letting the mist fall gently on the huddled fronds that, according to the people who knew, would transform into a kickass species known for its bad temper and disciplined military. He waited with bated breath.

After ten minutes he decided to have a coffee instead and guided Seafarer to a table where she could watch the dark emptiness go past without interruption. As he sipped he watched the fronds begin to weave themselves together. It obviously wasn’t perfect since some of them just got into a tangle and had to start again but they were getting there. As he drank the last dregs from his cup the creature seemed to hit critical mass. He leaned over and nudged Seafarer, “You might want to watch this.”

She turned just as some command was sent throughout the assembled parts and a functional whole was born. It looked like an angry cobweb, especially as it swept a limb across the nearest table and sent the debris of its childish selves flying. The weaving got tighter as it stood to its full height and growled, “Where…where is that creature…”

Mcgiveny stood up, trusting his suit to defend him if it all went wrong. “Hello, Second. I’m your Engineer. Nice to finally meet you in one piece. If you're looking for the slug, he's currently running away from the Medbay.”

The cobweb focused on him, fronds weaving so tight that they reflected light. “Yes, I know who you are. You are slow. I had hope when you arrived, that famous skill and logic. Instead, you played with toys. Humans are a disappointment.”

Mcgivney leaned on the table, “Don’t complain to me Second. I didn’t let a junkie ruin the ship, nor hire an engineer with a fucking problem. That would be you. All I did was kick over the rock that was covering all this shit. You’re the one that was sitting on it for months.”

He gestured to the Avatar, “You better come with me to the Captain's cabin. I need a witness for this since technically I’m about to assault a Senior Officer while on duty. This might not be Fleet but I’d actually like to get work again at some point. He turned to the Second and asked, “So are you coming with me or going to murder the slug?”

The dark Xeno hesitated, “I will accompany you. What is your plan?”

Mcgivney raised another med spray, “Same thing I did to you. This is a counter-agent to the drugs that the lunatic has been feeding the Captain. The XCC says the patient may suffer serious depression and anger from the comedown. Hence my concern about assault charges.”

The cobwebs seemed to flutter aimlessly before it spoke, “I am the Second officer. I will administer the antidote.”

Mcgivney shook his head, “Sorry Second, much as I’d love to pass the buck on this one, you are on medical suspension until you get a full check-up. And I can’t do that anytime soon since the Medbay is in shit. If it makes you feel better, I’ll swear you were still under the influence of the drugs he gave you if you accidentally kick seven shades of shit out of the medic.”

The Second seemed suddenly happier, “That would be most useful. Thank you, Engineer. I will accompany you and restrain the Captain if necessary. Then I may go for a walk. The Medbay is damaged you say? I do hope no one suffers a grievous injury very, very soon.”