There was a Status screen in my head, and it was in the shape of a frickin’ phone. Could I call my kids with it? Was there an operator I could ask for help? I doubted finding answers to these questions would be simple, but I had to try.

I imagined myself gripping the phone, and it felt heavy, like the weight of the world was behind it. I started “touching” the different fields to see if anything happened.

Name Eight Age 8 Strength 8 Constitution 8 Agility 8 Intelligence 8 Wisdom 8 Spirit 8 Charm 8 Luck 8

When I focused on my name, Eight, I became aware of my body, my emotional well-being, and something deeper--the sense of self/no-self I encountered in deep meditation.

The age, Eight, felt young. Not so young as to be helpless, but also not old enough to have an adult’s strength and agency.

Strength, Constitution, and Agility highlighted aspects of my physicality. The other statistics described the ineffable and were harder to sense. My thoughts quickened when I focused on Intelligence. Wisdom made me conscious of the connections between me and the world around me. I didn’t feel anything from Charm, but Luck gave off a fickle feeling. Spirit was still like a pond in the early light, morning mist moving across the water.

Interesting that there are no other Stats displayed. Was it a function of the System or the phone? I was curious to find out. The screen would only swipe up, so I did. The display changed:

Hit Points 8/8 Mana 8/8 Blessings Diriktot (Fallen Clockwork God), Meliune (Goddess of Compassion, Temporary) Curses Conditions Hungry (I)

I put down the phone and rubbed my eyes. My feet hurt too much to pace, so I rolled back and forth along the floor as I considered the new information.

Okay, yes, I found the Conditions screen, but also gods and goddesses. Gods and goddesses. My family raised me Christian, but that was a long time and a lot of wandering ago. Eventually, I settled into a cozy blend of Buddhism, Taoism, and general respect for everyone else’s beliefs. Not that I was polytheistic exactly. I just knew that there were a lot more ways of experiencing the capital-T truth than my puny little brain could comprehend.

So that was confirmation then. Gods and goddesses indeed. In a way, it was a relief knowing for sure. There were moments in my past life where the only way I could have conceivably survived was through divine intervention. And so I felt grateful. Deeply grateful.

“Thank you,” I said, casting the feeling out to the wider world.

There was no response, so I went back to playing with the System.

It was interesting that I had 8 Hit Points even though my feet were hurt. Maybe it was the nature of the injury? Or severity? When I focused on the number, I just felt healthy. No more than that.

Mana was, of course, intriguing to my inner nerd, but the number felt locked away, like it was behind a door and I didn’t have the key. I sensed life and wildness and freedom on the other side, but there was no way to access it. I ground my teeth at that. Seriously. The inner nerd was upset and determined to find a way through. First things first though: shelter, water, food, and information. And we’re currently at the information stage, so I continued exploring the System.

I skipped the Clockwork God’s entry--the Fallen part of it scared me--and focused on the Goddess of Compassion. The feeling was gentle. Not quite pity, but something more empathetic instead. My suspicion was that it was Meliune’s Blessing muffling my thoughts in order to protect me from shock. Even when I felt calm, l sensed it stabilizing me.

There was no way I was touching the Curse field. Also, hey, curses were a thing. At least I didn’t have to worry about them. Yet.

Focusing on Hungry made it clear just how hungry I was, and since I still didn’t have to poop, I ate some plums. The Hungry Condition disappeared. Excellent. Just as expected.

Now let’s see what else is here. Swiping up got me:

Skills

The rest of the page was blank, which was weird given that I had a lifetime of skills behind me. I swiped up again, but the page didn’t change. Swiping down brought me back to the Status entries and swiping down again displayed my Stats. Which, as I thought about it, weren’t accurate either. I may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but there was no way I had the Intelligence of an eight-year old. Something screwy was going on.

I flipped between screens, poking here and there, but nothing changed. Even braving the Curse field didn’t do anything. All that was left was the Fallen Clockwork God, so I gathered up my courage and focused on Diriktot.

The words wiped away and were replaced by an illustration of a classic Lord of the Rings, Dungeons & Dragons, probably speaking with a Scottish accent, Dwarf. He wore spectacles and a charcoal gray suit. A leather band stretched across his torso from one shoulder to the opposite side waist, supporting a sheath for the enormous wrench on his back.

The background behind him filled in, and I recognized the corner of NW Glisan and 6th in Portland. The Dwarf walked along the street, looking all around, very much like a tourist in spite of the rain. There was a crowd ahead, and he wandered over to see what the fuss was about.

The fuss was me. On the floor. In a pool of--what can only be assumed to be--blood. I didn’t know what happened. My last memory was of walking out the office door. How I ended up… ended up dead was a mystery.

The tape holding my phone together must’ve come loose, because it lay beside my outstretched hand cracked open. That caught the Dwarf’s eye. He moved through the crowd to crouch and peer inside. This lasted a while--the moving illustrations weren't clear on how long--but eventually he picked up the phone and patted my shoulder to thank me for the opportunity to study something interesting.

The Dwarf then winked at me--the me watching the illustrations--and the screen faded to copper, only to be replaced by the Stat screen. I swiped back to Diriktot’s blessing, but there were no other messages. No matter how hard I focused, all I could feel was the weight of the phone in my mind. Apparently, it and this life were his gifts to me.

That I had questions was an understatement--too many questions, all rushing through my head. So much so, they triggered Meliune’s Blessing, and it knocked me right out.