Petey was a Good Boy.

He knew he was a Good Boy because his very first owners had told him so, way back when he was a much smaller fluffer. Sometimes he had happier days than others, but even when he'd belonged to less nice hoomans who had chains and wanted him to fight other dogs, even when he'd been kicked by that one really dirty hooman, he had always known he was a Good Boy because no one had told him otherwise.

Now he was in a dark gray place with other dogs, in a room with hard gray sticks that were very hard and hurt his jaw when he tried to gnaw on them. Every day, he waited for the heavy owner with the thick clothes to come in and pet him and give him happies, but the owner always slid in untasty food and left without giving him pats. It was always very sad for him when that happened, but he could remind himself how Good he was, and then he was happy again!

Today was different. Today, his owners had taken him to a very cold room, and were holding onto him very tightly! His happiness wagged behind him, and he wanted to chase it, but his owners weren't letting him move very much, so he couldn't chase it without going against them, and he didn't want that.

A tiny pain pricked his shoulder, and he winced a bit. The faintest tinge of unhappiness struck him, but then he was full of happiness again because maybe he could play with them afterward!

He yawned behind the hard wiry thing around his mouth. He was very sleepy all of a sudden, which was a little unhappy, but he could always wake up later and play more!!!

Closing his eyes, he tried to yawn again, feeling his breathing slow down. He was just going to sleep for a little bit, and then he could come back and play with his owners.

He settled down, relaxing under his owners' firm grip.

He was a Good Boy...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"That is just the saddest thing ever!"

Petey's eyes snapped open, and he raised his head curiously. He wasn't in the hard gray place anymore - now he was in a really big white place with a ring of... people. He'd thought they were hoomans at first, but they had a lot of firey bits and watery bits and bits he didn't have names for. Wagging his happiness, he was excited to discover he wasn't being held down anymore, and his fur was nice and smooth again, like before that one cat had found him.

Above him, a tall watery person had her head in her hands, crying while a very tall firey person sympathetically patted her on the shoulder. Petey's spirit soared. He knew sympathy! He could give pats and cuddles and kisses and make them feel better!

Jumping up on her lap, he tried giving kisses to her, and she started giving him pats and cuddles! Even on his head and behind his ears and SHE WAS PETTING HIS TUMMY!!!

He rolled over, his tongue lolling as she rubbed his tummy and gave him happies. A thought occurred to him, and he rolled over abruptly, mind racing.

Was it possible to both give AND receive happies at the same time!?

She was still crying, though.

Wiping her eyes, she sniffled, "That is just literally-" She snorted loudly, rubbing her nose. "-the saddest thing ever. He was still giving love to his owners, even while they euthanized him!"

Petey didn't know what that meant, but it sounded like fun!

The firey person nodded, sitting down on a reeeally big and fancy chair. "I agree wholeheartedly, Edra. He didn't deserve it at all."

Another person, this one wearing a lot of black and with a lot of visible bones that looked tasty, spoke with a very dark voice that made Petey feel like eating a lot of meat. "For once, I also agree. Even in death, he maintained optimism and kindness, and there is nothing I respect more than a good death."

A super bright lady wearing the sun smiled sadly. "I presume we are in agreement then?"

A whole lot of persons around the room began nodding, and the crying lady with the water floating around her smiled through her unhappiness. "Wait-" She started counting, and her eyes widened. "Are we... in unanimous agreement?"

The person with the bones laughed loudly. "Well! I must say, it's quite amusing that we can never agree on a Hero, but on a dog? Ha!"

Still with a whole lot of burny fire, the person patted the watery lady on the shoulder one more time. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised as well, but if we are in agreement, we are."

The watery lady stepped down towards Petey, and his happiness began wagging again. Rubbing his head again, she said, "Petey the golden retriever. We, the Cosmic Pantheon of Eruco, have decided to grant unto you the maximum possible amount of blessings in your new life."

Standing, she puts her hand on her chest. "I, Edra Queen of Experience, grant unto you a tenfold amplification of all experience gained."

The firey person punches his torso with a grin. "I, Phocos King of Power, will gift you all strength I can give."

The boney person smiles grimly. "I, the Lord of Death Himself Melanin, will ensure that age's embrace will never touch you. Live forever, excellent dog."

Everyone around the room kept giving Petey more and more talking, looking at him kindly and giving him a lot of happies. They talked about speed and agility and endurance and luck and magic and stuff he never could figure out, but he was sure they were pleasant and kind!

His happiness was wagging really hard and he could only imagine what was going on but they were so happy to see him and he couldn't wait!!!

Edra petted his head and he licked her hand, so she smiled. "Oh, Petey. Once you hit the thousandth level, you will be able to ascend to divinity yourself, and then you can play with us a little more. For now, though, you must gain experience on your own. Have a fun time!"

His vision tunneled, and he was suddenly...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

...in an awesome meadow! It was so awesome!!! It was big and green and grassy and there was wind in his fur and it was so so absolutely awesome and his happiness was wagging and he could chase it and no one would stop him!!!

A ding stopped him from chasing his happiness around in endless circles, and he looked up to see a big blue board floating in front of him. He couldn't figure out what it was telling him though, but it looked really important and had a lot of big numbers on it that he didn't know and IS THAT A BALL!?!?

Petey bounded over to it excitedly, examining it carefully. It was blue and round, and a little squishy so he could poke it with his snoot. So he did!

The moment he poked it with his snoot, it rolled away, and then made a little squeaky noise. It wanted to play!!! Putting his front paws down and bending, he stared at it intensely, his happiness wagging so hard it was making wind. A lot of wind, actually.

It squeaked, right? That meant it was a squeaky toy! Squeaky toys squeaked when they were bitten and it was really exciting when that happened and when was it going to move!?

The blue rolly squishy thing bounced and it was a ball and he could fetch it now!!! Lunging forward, he opened his jaws and slammed down on the-

BOOM.