[34]

Monsters class ended up being a revelation.

Instructor Rewan, the Alvar, sat back and watched us give our presentations. Occasionally, he would chime in to expand on a fact, or contradict the presenter’s research with more recent information, though neither of those things happened to me. My talk was thorough enough that he awarded me 5 contribution points. Joy also earned 5 points, but we were the only two.

More important than all that, I learned I could take notes with a soul ledger! During the first presentation, I noticed no one pulled out paper and quill like I had. Joy gave me an amused smile, then explained that there was a section in the book devoted to writing notes. With effort, it would capture anything I thought verbatim, but not at the speed of thought. It turned out that how fast the soul ledger took things down related to your Intelligence attribute and Reading and Writing skill.

How had I been the only one that did not know that?

Joy laughed hard enough to draw attention from the instructor when I told her I had just memorized everything. After sheepishly apologizing for the interruption, she leaned over to whisper that I was hopeless. I shrugged it off. After all, I still did better than everyone except her with what I had. Most of the students had prepared for a life with a class; there was no shame in admitting that I had to catch up.

Taking down notes from each student’s talk was a pleasure. My speed in writing things down was quick enough to be free of stress. I found I enjoyed writing entries down as much as listening to the varied and horrible stories about the denizens of the Ruinlands. Several creatures were intriguing enough that I made it a point to do more research on them later—especially those that had special alchemical properties, which I knew I would need later.

Raxx gave his presentation on Slorpenshugs, which turned out to be oddly amusing. The Harak had a magnificent voice and was a natural speaker, however, even he had a hard time trying to make an acid spitting hedgehog that ate flowers sound as dangerous as they probably were. Somehow he got Izzy to show off her acid burns to the class, giving everyone a needed dose of gravitas.

Joy talked about a monster called a Terentag. One of the more insane Mage Kings created them for who knows what awful reason. In their natural form, they look like large skinless cats, but they like to kill prey and slide into the bodies of their victims. Upon seeing a decaying skin suit running around, people often mistake them for undead. Joy read a disturbing journal entry of some adventurers that tracked down a missing friend, only to find his hollow corpse running around on all fours like a cat. I would probably have nightmares for the rest of my life after seeing that happen to one of my companions.

Elaine presented on a creature of the Fey called a Norkalp. Hers was one of the more interesting segments because of the rarity of the Fey. Unlike most monsters in the Ruinlands, Fey creatures predated the Mage Kings and Titans. Supposedly, they could weave in and out of our world to a realm that sometimes touched ours, much like the Primordial Titans used to be able to do. Ainu’s great spell of reordering magic had not affected them to any noticeable degree—other than trapping them in our world—making them incredibly dangerous to ascended. Though, according to Elaine’s research, the Norkalp rarely attacked people, preferring to float around at the bottom of lakes and eat fish that got too close. The only real danger was if you polluted a water source in their vicinity. Norklaps would rise out of their clam-like shells and send blasts of water so strong they could cut you apart before hitting the ground.

Reynold and Tedric, both of whom I had a low opinion of, did a respectable job speaking about the creatures for their assignments. Curiously, Reynold did not use his soul ledger; instead, pulling out a stack of written paper that he read from verbatim. No one said anything, but I’m sure everyone assumed, as I did, that he strong-armed or paid some poor scholarly studies student into doing his work for him.

Monsters, so far, was my favorite class.

On the way to lunch, I wondered if Elaine would join us again. While chewing on the implications of her continued nearness, a stray idea lodged itself in my head.

“Hey, so, weird question guys, but what attribute has to do with understanding your emotions?” I asked.

Raxx and Joy shared a look that I did not like.

“Well, according to the matching theory of attributes, physical statistics are equal to mental ones in purpose.” Joy said.

“Meaning, what? That Intelligence is an analog for Strength?” I said.

“Right. Well, you have the right idea, but the wrong attribute. Strength is a measure of your physical power, and Willpower is a measure of your mental strength. They both essentially do the same thing: but one is your body's ability, and the other is your mind’s. Agility and intelligence are your respective physical and mental speeds, or how flexible those things are, they sometimes say. Finally, Constitution and Presence are your physical and mental damage thresholds. Perception isn’t like the other six, because it is both a mental and physical attribute at the same time. It represents your ability to notice things physically, as well as the internal motivations of others. Intuitive understanding and insight into others if you will.” Joy explained.

“I thought Presence was for acting and manipulating people?” I said, concerned. That was what Saewulf had said. I distinctly added a point there, for all the good it did.

“What? No, who told you that?” Joy said.

“My mercenary friends.” I felt silly the moment the words left my lips.

“Hah! Of course a mercenary would say something stupid like that. Look, no acting and manipulation are skills. The same way sword fighting and leatherworking are. Presence is how well you understand yourself and the role you play in the world around you. An actor with a high Presence will be much better than an actor with a low one, because they will better understand and be in touch with their own emotions. It’s supposed to reflect your sense of self and being. It is your mental fortitude. If you want to resist psychic damage, for instance, Presence is very important.” Joy said.

If that is true, why does my Hypnotize work against another person’s willpower, I thought. After a quick ponder, I realized the answer was easier than I expected. It was basically mental wrestling, pitting strength against strength.

“Is it advised to spend points in Presence?” I asked Joy.

“Okay, you need to know it’s a bit of a big taboo for someone to tell you how to spend your points. Like Instructor Fayne said in Introduction to Classes, a big part of having a class is deciding who you want to be. It’s the god’s way of giving back to us for the service we take in their names. A tit for tat, so to speak.”

“That being said, there have been some controversial books written about attribute placement. There are always people that do not want to think about who they want to be, and would rather just take direction. A popular line of thinking in books like that is that you should reach at least a 5 in every one of your attributes, so you have a better understanding of what they will do for you.” Joy said.

A frustrating answer, but a logical one. It felt like I was behind on every attribute, but abnormally so with Presence. One might conclude that a boy who shrugged off insults his entire life would be emotionally robust, but compared to my experience, the reverse was true. Feelings of emotional pain, embarrassment, and humiliation I cast into a “never to be examined” box, then slapped a label on it that said “Because the world is shit.” My place in the world has been one of avoidance of others and myself. It was the Constitution equivalent of hiding from extraneous activity. In the same way, Saewulf used his agility to dodge attacks, and Rollo used his strength to parry them. I did the emotional correlative of both with my willpower and intelligence, setting up mental defense mechanisms to protect myself.

There were enough contribution points on my balance to Rank up twice. I had already decided I would do that after we ate lunch, skipping the Spell Casting class altogether. Knowing what I know now, I had to give serious consideration to increasing my Presence attribute—an idea I had before, and for similar reasons, but did not have the leeway to increase since arriving at Ashmere.

The nameless instructor for that spell casting class did not seem interested in teaching. And, if that changed, Joy and Raxx would be there to fill me in on what I missed. Besides, I worked on my magic every day now.

It surprised me that Elaine did not join us. I worried maybe I had pushed her too far this morning with my dirty looks. Her mission was undoubtedly important, and I wanted to succeed in my quest. It was just that she left me so off-balance.

As we sat at our table Joy asked, “So are you going to add points to your Presence?”

“I think I need to,” I said. Raxx and Joy assumed that my turmoil was only from a romantic perusal of Elaine. There was a little truth to that, but the bigger issue was that I needed to make sure I did not break under the pressure of being served up as bait.

“There are… some exercises you can do to improve it on your own,” Joy said.

Raxx stopped eating to listen.

“Oh?” I asked.

Joy nodded. “I work on my Presence every day by writing my thoughts and feelings in my soul ledger. Getting your heart and mind in alignment can be as easy as organizing your thoughts. Other exercises you can try are to think of times you were really sad, happy, or in love, and write it all down from your perspective. Acting out a scene in your life works too, but I’ve never done that one.”

I looked at Raxx, who was distinctly frowning at the thought of doing any of those things.

“I may try some of that, Joy,” I said, meaning it. Ugz could glare every bit as mean as Sabine. So I had everything I needed for that play.

Lunch ended, and Elaine did not enter the dining hall at all. I know Joy noticed my searching eyes, but thankfully the wildling said nothing. Some things are better left unsaid.

Izzy and I went over to the tower so that I could finally unload my point stash.