“Thank you all for joining me,” the Governess announced, the golden rings through her tusks tinkling as she surveyed the room grandly. “I will confess, while I had invited you all here this evening to enjoy your company, I also thought it a grand opportunity to unveil a new product. One imported – at great cost – all the way from the latest addition to our fair Imperium.”

Earth then, Jason concluded.

Unless the Shil’vati had conquered another world in the time he’d been stuck out here. Which, while he wouldn’t put it past them to try, was unlikely in the extreme. While it looked like the aliens had just swept out of nowhere and started bombing the shit out of everything, even a casual look at the data-net showed that the invasion of Earth was the result of years of planning on the part of the Imperium. Years spent researching targets for bombardment, targets for preservation, and most importantly, planning out how to handle the transition of power.

He felt a slight jab in his side, Hela looking at him expectantly as the governess gestured for nearby servants to sweep away the sheets.

They did, revealing stacks upon stacks of honey. All contained in very fancy looking glass jars.

Honey? he thought incredulously.

Sure, it was strange and exotic, but he’d honestly been hoping for something a bit more exciting. Like… well to be honest, he couldn’t really think of anything aside from food and… men that Earth could offer the Imperium. At least in its current state. Still, it was kind of disappointing.

You wouldn’t know that from the way the crowd around him clapped.

“Yes,” the governess shouted excitedly. “The Government of Gurathu has managed to acquire an import license for what we are calling ‘sweet gold’.”

Her words received more polite clapping, even as Jason wondered what was wrong with just calling it by its actual name.

Honey.

The governess continued. “I have been assured that this product will also be a hit with a vast majority of my constituents.”

As she spoke, she lifted a glass, on the label of which Jason could see a fairly comical depiction of a bear. Almost instantly, all eyes in the room pivoted over to Kelu, who took the stares with casual disinterest, even as a number of chuckles broke out.

“An amusing comparison, Lady Governess,” Kelu said simply. “I can safely say that I at least, am personally interested in partaking of this novel new concoction.”

The governess continued to chuckle at her joke, but made no more comments on it. Instead, she gestured for the servants to come forward.

Each one carried a small jar of honey with them and a spoon. Personally, Jason would rather have declined, even as he accepted the proffered items. He had little in the way of a sweet tooth and the idea of ingesting just honey sat ill at ease with him.

He considered moving over to the buffet table to grab something in the way of a Shil’vati bread substitute, but the sensation of Hela’s grip tightening around his arm stopped him in his tracks.

He gave her a deadpan stare.

“If this was what I was supposed to give my expert opinion on, then I’ll start by saying that most humans eat it with something.”

“Fascinating,” Hela deadpanned back. “That’s not the little factoid I brought you here to share though. So shut up and wait for your cue.”

With that the woman went back to smiling prettily as she doled out a spoonful of the glittery golden concoction. An action mimicked by almost all the Shil’vati in attendance. Sighing, Jason did the same.

As he did, he refrained from pointing out that Hela had gotten kind of lucky that it had been a food he was familiar with. The merchant seemed to have assumed that because he was from Earth he’d automatically know ‘Earth’ food.

Which was just ignorance on her part. What if it had been something Russian? Or Chinese? He’d have had about as much of a clue as the next alien.

Or worse, what if she’d unveiled some kind of unusual meat product? Like cat or dog?

He didn’t know if he’d have been able to handle that. Which would have made the evening all kinds of awkward. He doubted the governess would have taken kindly to him trying to free her latest foray into ‘livestock’ from Earth.

Fortunately, that somewhat morbid train of thought was interrupted by a small chorus of appreciative noises from the aristocrats as they sampled the honey.

Though Jason was of the opinion that they would have made that noise even if it had tasted foul to them. No one would be quite dumb enough to complain about the governess’ new investment at her own party after all.

Though in this case, he had a feeling most of the noises were genuine. Shil’vati loved the taste of fat, salt and sugar even more than humans.

At least in his experience.

Which wasn’t all that surprising when you considered their size. It took a lot to keep a Shil’vati body fueled up. Which meant that in addition to the insane portion sizes they often had, their food tended towards the high sugar and fat side of things.

And given that he hadn’t seen much in the way of fat Shil’vati, he also had to assume that they had a very fast metabolism.

Which meant that a spoonful of honey by itself was probably right at home on the Shil’vati palate. Along with things like deep-fried Snickers and lone blocks of butter.

“Delicious,” a wealthy looking viking-esque woman called out. “Oh, you simply must sell me some.”

“I too would like to buy a number of batches. This should cause quite the stir at my next board meeting,” another said.

He could almost see the dollar signs in the Lady Governess' eyes as more and more wealthy aristocrats asked to be able to buy her newly imported product. Given the sort of wealth that was present in the room, Jason highly doubted that these jars would be being sold at the same kind of price he’d have found back at the supermarket.

He had no idea what kind of markup the Governess would be slapping on the stuff, but he was sure it would be positively absurd.

Though, looking around the room, he could well imagine that sitting just fine with most of the people present. Things were worth what they were perceived to be worth after all. And given the relative scarcity of honey in the greater universe, he was sure these jars would be seen to be worth a lot indeed.

Just for the novelty, if nothing else.

“May I ask just what it’s made from?” Someone asked, distracting him from his thoughts.

The question seemed to have caught the governess flat footed. She fumbled for a moment as she presumably racked her mind for the pertinent details and came up blank.

He felt just a subtle tensing from Hela next to him.

“Actually, my date for the evening comes from Earth, perhaps he might know?” the merchant said casually.

There was a slight stir in the crowd, as if they’d only just remembered he was present. Which he was sure was truth for some of them, but it was pretty rare for him to spend any time around Shil’vati and not have some of them staring.

Seeing his cue, Jason stepped forward.

“While I’m afraid I can’t give you a direct chemical composition, I can tell you that it’s made by bees.”

“Bees?” a woman asked.

Jason was pretty sure that some worlds had a close equivalent to the insects, given how flush they could be, but he had no idea what they were called.

“A type of flying insect that lives in hives.”

That sent a small stir from through the room. And it wasn’t exactly a positive one, with many a spoon ladened with honey stopping halfway towards people’s mouths. In fact, the only one who didn’t seem bothered at all was Kelu. In the relative silence, her spoon kept clinking away as the wolf woman just kept on scooping up honey, a rather happy smile on her face as her tail wagged side to side behind her.

Jason couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Perhaps the governess' joke about Rakiri enjoying honey wasn’t totally off the mark after all?

Then he caught sight of the governess' black expression and all that feel-good energy leapt right out of him.

“You mean to tell me insects made this?” the woman asked in a decidedly frosty manner.

Jason felt just a hint of sweat form on the back of his neck. Was that really that bad? And more to the point, how didn’t she know this already?

“Uh, yes, I believe they….” He wracked his mind for exactly how bees made honey. Then he remembered and immediately wished he hadn’t.

Because now that he thought about it, people eating honey was kind of… gross.

He couldn’t play the ignorance card now though. Not with half the room staring at him expectantly. Instead he straightened up and kept his features as calm as possible.

If he was going to do this, he was going to be as matter-of-fact about it as he could. If he pretended it was no big deal, maybe everyone else would too? And maybe that might save him from accidentally delivering a black eye to the planet’s ruler via Hela’s meddling. With any luck that would save him from being seen as the one who torpedoed the governess’ latest investment.

He doubted it, but a man had to dream.

“I believe the bees vomit it up.”

He liked to think he said that line with decorum and dignity.

Unfortunately, it seemed that all the decorum and dignity in the world couldn’t make ‘you’re eating insect vomit’ sound good. As evidenced by the rather alarming shade of grey that a number of party goers turned.

“Haha, did you see the look on her face?” Hela cackled as their small motorcade zipped through the night.

Jason glanced at her irritably.

“I thought my presence was supposed to help you get in the governess’ good graces. Instead, all it seemed to do was piss her off.”

More to the point, he had been party to pissing her off. He didn’t need that kind of trouble in his life.

Hela snorted in a distinctly unlady like manner – which was only to be expected really, given her species. “It was never about her. Well, maybe a little. It was all about the… sweet gold. If no one wants it, I can buy it cheaper.”

Jason glanced out the window, watching the swirling snow falling down outside.

“Well, I suppose even if all your rich friends turned their noses up at it, Kelu still liked it.”

Clearly Rakiri were less picky about where their food came from.

“Ugh,” Hela rolled her eyes. “She would, the overgrown furball.” The merchant shook her head. “No, while our fair governess might have joked about selling sweet gold to the locals, she’d never have actually done it. Between all the tariffs and bribes, that stuff would have cost a small fortune to get off of Earth.”

Hela waved a hand dismissively. “No, if she ever wanted to make a profit, she’d have to sell it to more discerning clientele.”

“At a truly outrageous markup,” he finished, confirming his earlier guess.

Hela just nodded smugly.

Jason continued. “Except you’ve torpedoed that plan by revealing what honey really is in front of all the rich and wealthy of Gurathu.” He cocked his head. “So the governess can’t sell it now. At least, not at her planned price. So you’ll buy it off her for cheap and then… I’m guessing sell it further afield?”

Somewhere where news of tonight’s events hadn’t yet reached.

Reclining in her seat, Hela looked surprised. “Close. You’re missing one key step. I’ll be informing my clients of sweet gold’s origins ahead of time.”

Jason glanced at her. “Not afraid it will put them off?”

She just smiled smugly. “To the contrary, I think it will just add to the stuff’s mystique. By the time I’m done selling this stuff, it’ll be considered just as classy as jelker eyes and krilp ovum.”

Branding then. That was Hela’s plan.

Still, as he stared at all the finery around him, he found it just didn’t quite make sense to him. The events of the evening had required a fair amount of planning. Sure, it hadn’t exactly been elaborate, but it had required quite a bit of scheming as well as a bit of social engineering.

Just for honey.

Certainly, he understood that the stuff would be worth a small fortune by the time Hela was done with it, but that was the issue. It was a small fortune. Hela was the heir to a massive trading dynasty. She had more wealth than could be spent in several lifetimes.

To her, a small fortune was pocket chance – so why go through all this effort to get it?

“Just seems like a lot of work for a relatively small pay off is all.”

He caught just a hint of the woman’s eyes widening, before she simply shrugged, some of her earlier mirth giving way to a more workmanlike expression.

“Profit is profit,” she said simply. “Big or small doesn’t matter. The trick to being a good merchant is being able to squeeze the most amount of it out of any given situation.”

“Like when a lonely boyfriend wants to send a message to his beloved?” he pointed out.

A small hint of that earlier mirth came back into her eyes as a grin slipped across her features.

“Exactly.”

Seeing those white teeth of hers glinting in the low light of the cab, Jason found himself reminded of a shark. It seemed that underneath all of that rich girl veneer was a real shark. It seemed that whatever else he could say about Hela, she knew her trade and knew it well.

Part of him respected her for it, but it was a small part of him.

Silence reigned between the two of them, before Hela yawned theatrically, one arm sneaking out to wrap around his shoulders.

He didn’t resist, instead staring deadpan at her for trying to pull off such a cheesy move.

“You know what would really round out this evening?” she asked.

“A little sex?” he deadpanned back.

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise at his frank statement, but that surprise quickly morphed into a lusty stare. “Are you sure you humans aren’t psychic, because you read my mind just now?”

Jason waited for her to snuggle in, her excitement visibly rising.

Then he moved, slipping out of her grip. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

After being led around like a dog by the woman all evening, he couldn’t deny that he felt some real pleasure at the look of surprise that slipped across her face for the third time in as many minutes.

Of course, it didn’t take long for that surprise to twist into anger. “I have you for the night. Night’s not over.”

There was no missing the petulance in her tone.

“Yes it is,” he said calmly. “The deal was that I accompanied you to the party. I did. Now you’re driving me back to base. That’s all.”

“What if I feel like changing the terms of the deal.” The merchant’s voice was a growl, and for just a moment, Jason was reminded that for all that Hela wasn’t the physical powerhouse like the soldiers he was accustomed to, she was still a Shil’vati.

Which meant that in the close confines of the car, she held an edge in a physical confrontation. There’d be no dancing around her if she decided to get physical about this.

Which was why it was fortunate that he’d learned from his last outing.

“Then I use this.”

It was amusing how Hela almost physically recoiled as soon as her eyes landed on the can of mace. It almost made him wonder if she had previous experience with it?

“Then, while you’re writhing on the floor in pain, I clamber out. Then I call Tisi. Who’s waiting for me and more than ready to ride out here to take a strip out of your hide if I’m not back soon.”

Of course, given the close confines of the car, he’d also probably be getting a blast of whatever fired out of this can. Which would make him easy pickings for the security detail outside.

That wasn’t the point though. He wasn’t really expecting to use it.

He was just proving to the woman across from him that he was willing to escalate this little confrontation far higher than she was comfortable with.

“Ooh, you’ve got a pair of tits on you,” Hela murmured. “I’ve got to say though, it only makes you hotter.”

For just a moment, Jason wondered if he might have to amend his earlier mental statement, and the merchant really was going to make a move.

After a few tense moments, she simply leaned back into her seat, tension flowing out of her body. It was such a swift change that part of him wondered if she’d actually been serious about trying to force things.

More to the point, part of him still wanted to give her a face full of mace and climb out. Unfortunately, he wasn’t familiar enough with the area to be able to tell how close they were to the place, and data-net access on Gurathu could be considered spotty at best.

Still keeping the mace in one hand, he surreptitiously checked his data-pad, keeping an eye on Hela as he did. The woman was watching him with amusement, but didn’t make any moves as he navigated through his phone.

It was kind of funny how a single errant comment from the woman had turned this from a casual trip back to base with a fairly insufferable merchant, to what felt like him being stuck in a confined space with a dangerous animal.

His GPS told him they were close to the base. Close enough that they’d be there in about a minute.

“Seems I won’t be jumping out of a moving car after all,” he said as the vehicle rolled to a stop outside the barracks.

He didn’t wait for a response, opening the door and clambering out, ignoring the very surprised militia sergeant who looked to have been coming to open the door for him.

Hela didn’t seem to care, continuing to watch him through the open doorway with a curious smile on her face.

“It was a lovely evening Jason,” she called out sweetly. “Should do it again sometime.”

“Not fucking likely,” he muttered as he finally turned his back on her, marching up the steps towards the barracks. He didn’t turn around as he heard the car door close behind him, nor did he look as he heard the sound of crunching snow as the cars peeled away.

He did relax the tension in his shoulders though, breathing a sigh of relief he didn’t know he’d been holding.

Opening the door of the building, he found he was utterly unsurprised to see Tisi was waiting for him at the sign-in desk. Just as she said she would.

To be honest, he’d felt silly when she’d told him she’d be waiting, but right now… he found he was quite glad to see her.

“Fun night?” the woman asked, looking up from the coffee-equivalent she’d been sipping from.

Jason felt a small laugh slip out of him. “Perhaps a little too much fun.”

He didn’t miss the way his captain’s eyes roamed over him. Not a lustful once over, like so many others he’d received that evening, but a concerned one. “Did she do anything? Do I need to talk to her?”

He momentarily considered telling her about the events in the car, but in the end decided to keep it for himself.

As much as he found himself surprisingly thankful for the woman’s concern, he still had his pride.

“No.”

Something in his tone must not have been quite right, because Tisi didn’t look fully convinced, but even as he was preparing himself for an argument, she surprised him by letting it go.

Which he was thankful for. He just wanted to hit the sack, not get into an argument about being able to fight his own battles.