ENDS AND BEGINNINGS

Brandon was laying down while watching some TV. Truthfully, it was the only activity available to him at the moment. The only difference was the familiar young woman lying beside him on the bed.

She had her arm under his head while selfishly using the only pillow for herself. Her red hair was dyed black at the end, giving her naturally wavy hair an air of seduction that complemented her fair skin, and her long legs wrapped in denim stretched out over the bed. Although her outfit, a low-necked t-shirt, and skinny jeans, was nothing special, her womanly curves naturally drew the eyes.

The young woman’s name was Rose Lawson. She'd known Brandon ever since he was a young boy. Although they were close in their middle school days, they didn't get to spend much time together until their senior year in high school. Their reunion had been a pleasant surprise.

*FLASHBACK*

"Rose Lawson?" a voice called out her.

Rose had been putting her books in her locker when she had been called, so she could only guess who it was. No doubt it was another boy trying to hit on her. Her family had just moved back to their old hometown, and since the start of her senior year as a transfer student, not a day had gone by where there wasn’t some guy trying to get her number.

"What?" she huffed, not even turning around to acknowledge the person.

"I was wondering if you would hold up the end of our agreement," he said.

'Agreement?' She didn't remember making any promises recently, especially not to any of the jerks that populated the school. She wasn't interested in the least, but she was curious. This guy, whoever it was, sounded annoyingly confident.

"What agreement?" she probed, still not having turned around.

"That we'd continue our conversation from before, of course," he said. He was smiling now. Rose could hear it in his voice.

"What? I don't have time for games!" Grabbing the rest of her books, she closed the locker and walked away.

"You dropped something..." he said hurriedly.

Rose sighed as she turned to face the mysterious jerk who came to bother her. He was obviously lying, it was a simple ploy to get her to turn around and give some attention. Unfortunately, the off chance that she actually had dropped something took priority. It could be something important.

Leaning against her locker was a tall, dark-skinned youth. His black v-neck shirt hinted at the chiseled chest that lay beneath. He had his hair cut low, and it had been brushed and groomed until neat waves circled his head. Soft, gentle eyes gazed at her expectantly, and there was devilish grin spread across his full lips. She admitted that he was quite handsome, but still annoying nonetheless. His first impression had squarely placed him on her ‘Do Not Associate’ list, which was growing longer by the day.

"Where is it?" Rose looked around near the boy's feet for the supposedly dropped item.

"I lied. I just wanted to see if you'd remember me if you saw my face. Forgive me, I won't bother you again..." the boy apologized with an embarrassed smile. Yet, his voice carried a sorrowful tone that was difficult to suppress.

Without wasting another second, Rose walked away in irritation. She turned the corner to head to her teacher's office, but not before she stole a glance behind herself. When their eyes met again, he winked at her with another devilish grin on his face. It looked that way from the outside, but Rose couldn’t explain why she felt the smiled didn’t reach his eyes.

She racked her brain on the way to her teacher's office. The boy claimed to know her, and she had a sneaking suspicion that he was right. 'I'm pretty sure I'd remember a promise like that. Besides, I don't have many black frien-'

It wasn't until she was standing outside the teacher faculty room that she had an epiphany. The memories hit her like a sack of bricks. The memories were so precious that they were impossible to forget. It was as if she had sealed them away to preserve every second. Only now did the seal break to return the memories to her with perfect clarity.

She knew that boy. She knew him very well. Even though they only shared one class in middle school, they had talked a lot and often hung out after school. The growing feelings she felt at that time were evident, and she still remembered them clearly to this day-lapses not included.

First loves were never forgotten.

The scene of their final meeting replayed instantly.

---

The two teens had been sitting on a park bench watching the sunset. They had made plans in class today and decided to meet here after school, and they had been talking in soft tones for a while for no reason in particular. It could have been merely a habit since it was often just the two of them.

That day, however, the mood had been set just right.

“Have you ever been kissed before?” the boy said to her. Rose had turned away, embarrassed. The question had completely caught her off guard. She silently prayed that her heart wasn’t skipping as loud as she thought it was.

“No.” she whispered.

“That has to be a lie.” the boy protested.

“It's true!” She had turned around to face to the boy, only to find his face inches from hers. She held her breath. Although she was almost a year older than the boy, when she looked into his eyes, she felt a maturity that went beyond his years in the calm, steady gaze. A trait she found extremely attractive.

“Well, I guess that gives us something else in common. I've heard that you'll always remember your first kiss, but I've also heard that it can be wasted on someone you'd rather forget.” the boy had whispered as he looked down, releasing Rose from that gaze of his. She let out a shaky breath and tried to recover her composure, but the boy didn't give her a chance.

“Would it be so bad to remember me Rose?” he whispered. This time, she could hear the quiver in his voice at the end.

Rose didn’t dare breathe. She had never thought she be in such a situation anytime soon, with their lips close enough to feel the heated breath of the other. An unusual tension fell between them. In the unbearable, exciting moment, the sound of her rapid heartbeat continued to assault her ears. As they both leaned closer, the world seemed to hold its breath in anticipation.

“Brandon!!” a shrill voice had called out in the distance, breaking the enchantment. Just like that, the magic was gone.

“Mothers have the best timing…” the boy sighed, shaking his head. He stood up to leave but looked back at her. “I'd like to continue this conversation later if that's alright…” he looked at her expectantly.

“Okay…” Rose replied.

“Promise?” a devilish grin appeared on his face. She nodded, but it wasn't enough for him. “I'm gonna need a verbal agreement.”

“I promise.” Rose blushed. She had pretty much promised her first kiss to the boy.

The boy smiled mischievously. It was a contagious smile, spreading across the girl's face in turn. Two teens with a secret promise, made in the quiet park, in the last light of the day.

“Brandon!” the boy's mother called again in the distance.

“Uh oh!” the boy had said as he jumped, ready to bolt.

Rose grabbed his hand before he had the chance. As she felt the sweat on his palm, she smiled. There was a hint of satisfaction from the fact that he had been nervous as well.

“Happy Birthday,” she said.

“Until we meet again…” he smiled, then he sprinted home.

---

Rose cursed her lousy memory as she ran back the way she came. Rushing to get to her locker, she nearly knocked over the young man in question as she turned the corner.

"Whoa, slow down. No need to rush." he laughed, catching Rose before she fell.

"Brandon..." she said breathlessly. There he was. The young boy she had promised in the park had grown up splendidly. Tall, dark, and handsome. Her face flushed with guilt from her first thoughts after their reunion.

Brandon raised his eyebrows in surprise. "So you do remember! And here I thought I'd have to chase-"

He never got to chance to finish before Rose closed in for their first kiss.

*FLASHBACK END*

'I'll never forget again.' she thought as she looked down at her sweetheart. The past year after his incident had been hard, but as long as he was alive, it was enough.

---

Brandon was watching ESPN with a heavy heart. He had decided that today would be the day. He sighed heavily for the umpteenth time. The inevitable moment weighed on his mind as well as his body. He was a powerless Atlas with the world mercilessly placed upon his chest instead of his back.

"Want me to change the channel?" Rose said as she stroked his head lovingly. She had mistaken his sighs as a signed of depression. Watching football certainly left a bad taste in his mouth, but she was ultimately mistaken.

'God she's beautiful' he thought as she snuggled closer to him. Her fragrance lingered around him, giving him a rare sense of calm. It was always a comfort to have her near, but it only made what he had to do harder.

"I only want you to be happy..." The crushing weight of his heart forced him to whisper.

Rose tensed up immediately. She never liked it when he talked to her like this. Every word was loaded with dangerous implications. She leaned over him to look into his eyes, letting her long hair separate them from the world outside.

"I am happy," she reassured him.

"Not as happy as you could be..." he countered.

'She could have any man she wants if she tried. She deserves to be loved one hundred percent.' It was with these thoughts that Brandon steeled himself.

Rose didn't miss the subtle change in his gaze. The gentle, loving eyes from moments before were lit with a fire of determination. She knew exactly where this was going, and it scared her. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, but she reined them in. She would fight this.

"If I was concerned about what could be, I would have left you the moment you fell down the stairs." She said.

Brandon could feel the underlying rage in her every word. She only brought up his incident when she was seriously agitated.

It had been a dark day for the NFL, and the entire sports world had been shaken. Brandon 'General' Welding, the unstoppable rookie that led his team to consecutive Super Bowl championships, had fallen down a flight of stairs. The resulting injury ended his promising career.

'I’ll accept your anger with open arms if the alternative is a life shackled to me.' Brandon thought. He knew he could only waste away in this hospital. He refused to have her share the same fate.

"Well, the fact is, I don't want you here," he replied coldly with practiced ease. It was a white lie that was hard to see through.

"You can't stop me from coming to see you." Rose forced the words out of her mouth with difficulty. She was cornered and desperately struggling now. Her throat clenched with a sob she forced down.

"I can actually. I have the right to refuse visitors." Brandon countered with a matter-of-fact tone, leaving no room for negotiation.

The words were said lightly, but each one seemed to cut through her. The tears she had held back were streaming down her face. Rose knew without a doubt that he was planning on following through. He was serious. This was it.

"Isn't it enough that I love you?" she cried desperately. Her plea may as well have been cast into the void.

"You can love someone else..." The reply was flat, toneless.

Oh, how she wanted to hit him! To beat him senseless until he realized the error of his ways. Yet, she could only muster the strength for a few pathetic taps on his shoulder. The shoulder that once carried the weight of the world had become smaller, and couldn't even feel her fists. She knew that he'd never be the same, now she was forced to accept it.

Rose lay her head on his as she cried. She cried so he could see it. So that he could witness the pain he was causing her, she cried.

Brandon never turned his gaze from hers, even as her warm tears dropped into his eyes. He accepted them stoically with a blink.

She cried for a few more minutes before she quietly got up and walked out the door.

Only a few seconds passed before Curtis walked in. "Brandon, what happened!? I just saw Rose-"

"Is she gone?" Brandon asked quietly.

"She was running down the hall in tears man." Curtis lied. Rose was, in fact, huddled down just outside the door. After catching the end of their exchange, he figured she deserved to hear some more details.

"Good. No need for her to be stuck with me..." Brandon sighed slowly as if he wanted to breathe his last breath right there.

"But why? She's stuck with you all this time." Curtis truly did understand, but he asked for Rose.

"Do you know that she's the reason I fell?" Brandon whispered. Silence fell on the room. "After winning my second Super Bowl, I went straight back to the hotel. That night, I had three rings in my possession. Two for me...and one for her."

Just outside the door, Rose caught her breath. Brandon had never told anyone what happened. But this was beyond her expectations.

"That day I would've asked her to marry me. I was so excited that I took the stairs to the twenty-third floor like an idiot. I took the stairs two at a time, desperately running to ask for her hand... but I was careless." Brandon sighed as he recollected, then he closed his eyes. He could still feel the warmth from Rose's tears.

"I could go after her, bring her back..." Curtis offered.

"No. I can no longer love Rose the way she deserves. I gotta let it burn." Brandon smiled, but there was no joy in it.

'So heavy' he sighed once more before he let the weight he'd been carrying for so long, crush him. His strangled sobs turned into cries of despair as he was utterly broken. In-between every few sobs he would scream in rage, cursing himself for his circumstances and what his love had forced him to do.

After the first few minutes, Curtis had walked out the room and closed the door. He waited with Rose and explained the situation to any of his co-workers that came running because of screams. He knew the pain of a man who just tore himself apart wasn't something that should be witnessed, let alone disturbed.

All the while, Rose cried quietly. She was just as torn. The revelations that had come to light made her want to run back into the room. However, she knew it wouldn't change how he felt. Hearing his agonized cries had somewhat relieved her. It not only confirmed his love for her, but it also showed that his decision wasn't made lightly. Yet, she cried. She cried because she hadn't been strong enough to look toward the future. Just moments before they talked, she had been reminiscing about what was. Instead of planning on what to do for the future.

She cried for the life they could have had. She could already picture Brandon running up the steps with his heart fitting to burst from joy. She could imagine his devilish grin as he dropped down to one knee, holding a ring in his hand.

But fate preyed on the careless. Her thoughts lost color as she pictured the man miss a step, succumbing to a tragedy at the happiest point in his life.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

---

A year passed in a blur, and Brandon did the only thing he could do, watch TV. Although he maintained his sunny disposition and unshakable will, anyone that knew him could tell that something was missing.

It was on one such day that Curtis walked in with a box and a huge grin on his face.

"Brandon, man. Do I have a surprise for you!"

"Bubbles and candles for my sponge bath?" Brandon chuckled.

"Even better," Curtis said as he tapped the box in his hands confidently. "I got you a new body."

Brandon turned his attention to the box for the first time, craning his neck to get a better look.

It was a Sonsoft Dark Chariot. He had heard about two competing game companies merging, but he hadn't paid much attention to it. Though he had seen the commercials for their Full Consciousness Submersion System, or FCSS.

"Virtual reality, huh. Will it work?" Brandon couldn’t help the hopeful tone in his voice.

"Only one way to find out," Curtis replied as he set to work opening the box, eventually bringing out a jet black helmet. After securing the device on Brandon's head, he began hooking up some extra cords to the television.

"What's all that for?" Brandon asked, watching the scene through the somewhat transparent lens.

"It's so I can watch. The doctors paid for everything under the guise of a scientific experiment."

"And what will I be playing?"

"That's the next surprise. It's a game that came out with the device." A knowing smile spread of Curtis’ face.

"This better not be a damn goat simulator..."

"It's called Chaos Online."

Brandon raised a brow at the name. "That actually sounds pretty vicious."

"Right!?"

Chaos Online, having been released along with the Dark Chariot a month ago, has been critically acclaimed as the next level of virtual reality. Players experience seventy-five percent of the pain, and the gore was made to look as real as possible. It became known as the world's first ‘Hardcore’ VRMMORPG.

"Shit...seventy five percent?" Brandon winced when he heard the details about the game.

"Yeah. When you get stabbed, it pretty much feels like you're getting stabbed for real." Curtis could only nod.

"And people voluntarily play this?"

"You'd be surprised. The level of realism gives the whole game a lot more tension. Can you imagine facing a dragon knowing you'll feel almost everything? It'd be intense." Curtis said as grabbed the remote and switched the TV channel to the appropriate input.

"So you've played it."

"I try to when I find the time." Curtis shrugged, not bothering to reveal how often he actually played.

"Have you died yet?" asked Brandon curiously. A shadow fell on Curtis' face as he recollected.

"I was ravaged by wolves on my first day. It hurt like hell, but the system knocks you out after a certain point. Sonsoft doesn't want people dying in real life. Still, they were chewing on me for about three minutes before I was knocked out."

"Whoa." Brandon sucked in a cold breath. He couldn’t even begin to fathom how it would feel to be eaten alive.

"I know. I don't even feel comfortable calling it a game anymore. Everything feels so real. I even got laid in-game..." the sly nurse tried to be nonchalant as he said it, but a smirk slowly appeared on his face.

'You had my interest, but now you have my attention.' Brandon thought secretly. Certain needs had been unfulfilled for far too long.

Watching Curtis refusing to speak more, he could only endure for a short time before he asked, "So how was it?"

"You won't even know the difference." Curtis laughed.

"Yeah, set me up." Brandon nodded with a stern face.

Curtis pretended to hesitate for a moment. "You sure? I understand if you don't want to pla-"

"Turn this damn thing on!"

Curtis laughed hysterically as he struggled to find the switch. When he finally found it, the Dark Chariot hummed to life.

Scanning... A new user has been registered. Would you like to launch Chaos Online?

Although impressed by the silky voice in his ear, Brandon commanded, "Launch."

Welcome to Chaos Online.

There was a bright flash of light, causing him to shut his eyes from the glare. When he opened his eyes again, he was in a white room.

You will now create your avatar to represent yourself in-game. What race do you wish to be? Chaos Onlin-

"Human!" Brandon said hurriedly. Just the thought of returning to the body of his glory days had him genuinely anxious to start.

Name?

"Thadius." It was a name he had often used that name in the games of his childhood.

Soon, there was another flash of light, then an image of himself appeared.

This is your avatar. Would you like to make any changes?

Brandon examined his avatar 'Thadius' carefully before he spoke, "Add fifty pounds(22kg) of muscle, please. Evenly distribute it."

The system complied, and the image of Brandon instantly changed. What appeared was a mirror image of himself before his incident.

"That's perfect."

Choose your starting destination.

A map appeared in front of him, highlighting the available starting locations. After taking a moment to read the topography, he made his decision. "Yune, Todos Kingdom."

The light faded, replaced by the grey sunlight of a cloudy sky.