The bandits lead the trail through the forest as we followed behind. The stone hands that held the bandits down was reformed into shackles connected to each other, forming a chain between the bandits. We had stripped them off armors, weapons and any other valuables we could get off them.

“I still don’t understand why we’re robbing them,” Sarjay asked me.

“We’re robbing them because we’re too rich,” I told Sarjay. He looked at the bandits for a moment and tried to think, but was unable to due to the groaning sounds of the bandits.

All of the bandits miraculously survived including that man that ate Maven’s cooking. Being able to live after eating that thing that came from hell should make him into a saint. Truly a miracle that should be worth mentioning in every single holy scripture of every religion.

I wanted to take note of this historical event but Maven attempted to strangle me. It took all of my lieutenants to restrain her. Do not make a woman mad. It’s especially scary when she held that heavenium kitchen knife and it was just directly above my eye hole.

“Remember when Asha mentioned that we look very out of place? I’m thinking we should find something to cover us up. Also, we only have gold coins. Some of these coins are even from nations that no longer exists. It’s troublesome. We should only use these coins for emergency,” I explained to Sarjay.

“I’m surprised you noticed that.” Sarjay shrugged, “However, why does it look like we’re a bunch of slavers?”

“What are you talking about? We don’t look like slavers. We look like people who bring justice!” I said. A bandit tripped and slowed the entire chain of bandits.

“Hey, you! Get a move on!” I raised my bladed whip menacingly to discipline him. Sarjay grabbed my arm and exclaimed, “Wait! If we go any deeper into the forest, wouldn’t we get lost? How would we get back to the road?”

I loosened my arm and thought for a moment, “As far I’m concerned, I can remember every step we took from the road to here. A bit of sidetracking wouldn’t be that bad. Besides, I told you, we need disguises and real money.”

“You could remember every step we took but not remember the ABCs?” Asha laughed at me.

“You...you! I’m simply having a little trouble! Can we get this over with already? It’s getting old, you know!” I stomped my feet and sighed. I felt like these guys’ only agenda was to bully me, an Archlich!

I moved to the front of the chain and walked next to the bandit leader. I asked her, “What are you Bloomy Towels doing here anyway? Aon isn’t that far off.”

“It’s Bloodied Rags. Also, we don’t share that kind of confidential information,” She remarked. Dissatisfied with that answer, I turned my head towards my spymaster. He nodded and slightly opened the jar he was holding.

One of the bandit had shellshock and fainted so the entire group had to drag him. “Wait! Anything but that! We..we were going to steal an item from Aon! It was said that one of the Lords came down from the heaven and bestowed the cardinals of Aon an item. So we figured it’ll give a lot of money if we stole it!” Another bandit confessed.

“Ullan, you dirty snitch! You were, and had always been, a dirty snitch!” The bandit leader hissed at the bandit that confessed.

So, we were just a side meal, huh? In fact, for a group of bandits to be confident enough to steal from the Holy City of Aon, it would mean that Bloodied Rags was more than just a group of bandits. It’s a criminal syndicate spanning the entire western continent. A group of thugs simply didn’t have the resources to just be able to magically operate everywhere while taking on risky missions.

Unless, of course, these group of bandits were just idiots who thought they really could take on the holiest city in the western continent. One way or another these group of bandits just had really bad luck to encounter us.

After walking for a while, we were near the hideout. I sent Maven and some scout ahead. Once Maven and the others confirmed that the hideout was there, we left the spymaster and Asha to watch the prisoners. We didn’t want to bring some burden to our raid and we certainly don’t want these guys screaming for help to blow our cover up.

We prowled among the bushes. Being skeletons, we were more flexible, thus we were able to do more ridiculous moves.

I looked through the bushes I was hiding in. None of the watchmen in the hideout noticed us. The hideout was well-hidden among the foliage. It looked like a military camp, with yurts and tents sprawled all over the place. There was a cave on the side of the camp, but it had a gate made out of magic. There was a few men laughing among each other and some were moving boxes around. I looked for the strongest looking person in the group and noticed someone came out of the largest tent in the hideout.

“Where is she? She’s never been this late. Do you think those people from Aon found us out?” He grumbled at a few men. He was wearing a plated chest armor with nothing underneath it, a large bearded axe was behind his back while his pants was made from scales. His face was bearded and his hair was a mess, indicating that he had not groomed or bathed.

I looked over my companions and they were all prepared. I stood up from the bushes and walked to the front.

The bandit archers noticed and warned me to stop. I had my hand over my pouch of coins. The bandits started to gather closer to me.

“What’s this? Are you lost? We can guide you out if you pay us with everything you have, buddy,” The large man threatened me with a smile. He had his axe on his hands, and he looked like he was ready to chop me.

“I’m not your buddy, friend. Also, you’re mistaken here. You’re the one being robbed here. Stand or deliver,” I threatened back, scooping up some coins.

The group of thugs laughed and the large man continued, “It seems that your head has a loose screw. Want me to help you by removing your head from your body? It might help.”

“I told you, you’re the one being robbed. Drop your weapons and give me your valuables.” I clenched the pile of coins. Some coins dropped onto the floor. The bandits noticed the gleaming gold coins dropping onto the grass and they smiled wickedly. The bandit archers pulled their strings.

“You’re insane. Everyone, disembowel that man!” The large man commanded. Negotiation was simply impossible if it was with people like these. Not that I would blame them. I, too, would think it was insane for someone that looked like me to threaten a group of bloodthirsty men. However, before the archers could loosen their strings, I tossed the coins with great power towards multiple bandits.

A buckshot of coins peppered some bandits and they were instantly killed or knocked out. The large man noticed and he charged at me. Contrary to his look, he was extremely fast. He raised his axe and dropped the axe's head onto where I was standing on.

I rolled to his left and poked his side with my finger. “ARGH! That tickled!” The man angrily howled as he redirected the axe to where I was.

I continued to dodge his attacks and kept poking him where his plate armor wasn’t covering him. Each poke made him angrier and it was funny so I continued to do so. Each poke just scared him more as the next poke could be a stab from a blade. Watching him struggle more against me was rather amusing.

One of the bandits tried to sneak behind me but I scooped up some coins and slapped him with it. I could’ve just used rocks but I’m too lazy to collect them off the floor.

I bent my body forward as an arrow flew by, hitting another bandit. Another bandit tried to skewer me with a spear but I redirected the spear to another bandit that was coming to me.

“You idiots! Kill him and not each other! We are the Bloodied Rags, for Geraldine’s sakes!” The large man angrily shouted.

Behind the group of bandits that were attacking me, I could see my companions were sneaking up on them. Maven tapped one of the bandit’s shoulder.

“What? What do you wa-” When he turned his head, Maven slammed her fist at his face. His body dropped and the other bandits noticed they were being encircled.

These fellows seemed to have a habit of being encircled. They should rename themselves to the Clueless Encircled. My band and I started to clash with the bandits again until they were crowding each other like what happened to the bandits that attacked my camp.

“That’s it! We won’t go down like this!” The large man took out a piece of rectangular paper. He rubbed it hard and the paper started catching fire. The runes on the paper lit up and I heard a snap behind me.

I looked towards the source of the sound and saw that the gate on the cave disappeared. There was heavy stomping.

“Boss, I don’t like this…” Daggerless commented.

My companions fell silent as they all looked at the cave. A foot stuck out of the cave entrance. It was gray and scaly. With very sharp claws, the huge foot was almost as big as a small boulder. Its head glanced out of the cave. It had a head of a snapping tortoise but its two horns made it look menacing.

“Alph! Get these intruders!” The large man pointed at us. The tortoise monster came out of the cave entrance and we could see it was as tall as three men. On its back was a tough shell that could probably survive a hit from a heavenium weapon. It long legs slowly made its way out of the cave and it moved like a stalking tiger towards us.

The tortoise monster raised its head and roared loudly, scaring the birds away from the forest. I stared at the monster as it stared back at me. I recognize that thing. It was a large tortoise used for sieging castles. While many called it a demon tortoise, it had nothing to do with real demons.

“Heh. I was supposed to use that to distract those fools at Aon, but now I’m forced to use it against you.” The large man snickered. He looked like he won. The tortoise slowly made its way in front of me. The way it looked at me was like it was trying to decide how to eat me. It stopped and breathed heavily at me.

“Kill him!” The large man commanded the demon tortoise. The tortoise roared at me while large globs of spits were flying at me. He ruined my robes!

I pointed at the tortoise and stared into his eyes directly. “Bad tortoise! Who told you that you could ruin my robes?!” The tortoise backed a bit with a surprised face. I started reprimanding the tortoise.

“Look at me while I talk to you! Who told you that you could spit all over my robes?! And what is with your breath? It stinks! Do you wash your mouth often?” I scolded him. The tortoise looked over the side while sitting like a dog.

“I said look at me!” The demon tortoise slowly turned to me with upturned eyes. He whimpered at me. Is this thing a demon tortoise or demon dog?

“No! Bad demonic tortoise used for sieging large cities! Bad!” I stomped my feet as the tortoise’s head lowered further.

“Alph! I told you to kill him! What are you doing? Eat him! Just chomp him up in one go!” The large man shouted at the tortoise.

The tortoise didn’t budge and I sighed hard. I turned towards the large man and once again tried to negotiate with him, “Now that there’s done with. Stand and deliver.”

The bandits started to drop their weapons one by one as they began to give up. My companions began to tie them up and we mixed the bandits that we had captured previously together.

“So, you’re going to kill us, now?” The large man asked me. I shook my head and then moved to help my companions gather the plunder.

“Boss, you’re going to let them go? Like I said, this would cause a problem in the future,” Sarjay told me. I dropped a box with the other loot and rubbed my hands together.

“It would be a waste to kill them. They’ve already surrendered,” I explained to Sarjay. I signalled the demon tortoise to come closer. It obediently followed my orders and my companions started loading the plunder on the tortoise’s back. The tortoise was bred to be a siege weapon, so the top of its shell was somewhat flat to allow soldiers to put a bunker on top of it.

“Besides, these guys will be stuck here for some time.” I turned slightly to Sarjay. The bandits are tied together with nothing but the clothes on their back in the middle of a thick forest. It should take some time before they could get out.

Asha came up to the tortoise and inspected him. He sniffed her a bit before losing interest. “I’m surprised you managed to tame a demon tortoise. It would take years to train one. Especially since these guys are uncommon.” She slid her hand across the tortoise’s legs.

“Uncommon? These guys are everywhere, right?” I asked Asha.

“What? No, these guys were nearly driven into extinction a few centuries ago. They managed to get their numbers up in the past few decades.” She tapped the scales on the leg.

This would be a bit problematic, then. If a nation saw a demonic tortoise, how would they respond? But it would be unnatural to think that a group of less than 20 would try to siege a city.

“There are some merchant guilds that use demon tortoises as pack animals. They’re better than horse carriages since the demon tortoises can be taught to attack anyone hostile. Besides, they’re stronger and faster.” Asha patted her hands.

Well, that’s good. We could also keep the demon tortoise outside of cities since we don’t necessarily need the tortoise inside the cities. I was thinking of a place to store our loot and souvenirs but I got lucky that I got this mobile storage.

“Not to mention that demon tortoise scales sell pretty high, because of how strong they are. They could be used to forge armor or weapons…” Asha muttered as she inspected the scales. She probably pondered how she can get those scales without getting eaten by the tortoise. Luckily for her, demon tortoises would shed some old scales and grow new ones from time to time. She could use those fallen scales instead of risk angering the tortoise.

We left the bandit camp behind as we started to make our way back to the road. With the tortoise, we could travel faster and lighter, since we don’t have to carry all of our belongings with us at all times.

We started to disguise ourselves better with the equipment we got from the bandits. Our gear now included ragtag gear with our strong armor and weapons hidden between them. That way, nobody could point out that we all have extremely rare weapons and armor like how Asha did. We also got some plunder which we could use to sell to get some more money.

I still opted to stick with my plain robes. I changed the dirty slob-ridden robe with a new clean robe.

I will have to wash these things later…

We got slightly side-tracked, but it doesn’t really affect us since we had an eternity to explore the world!