“Your apprentice is quite capable, isn’t she?” Satel commented as she hitched a ride inside my robes as I walked towards my room in the academy dormitories. After the field trip, there wasn’t much need for me to stay any longer so I decided to take a nap after dealing with lunatic Abyss worshippers and body snatching fairies.

As for the saboteur Flexia, I had my companions preserve her body so that I could resurrect her later for interrogation. Necromancy was very convenient like that.

“Of course. If she wasn’t capable, I would strangle her myself,” I replied as I finally reached the door to my room.

Before I could even reach the knob, the door opened and revealed Lucia, my vampire maid, on the other side. Apparently she had been waiting for me.

“Greetings, your lordship! Your mistress had been waiting for you!” Lucia reported.

Mistress?

As Lucia moved aside, I stepped inside my room. It was dark, but I could barely see Ellysa sitting on my chair cross legged while drinking from a teacup.

“You’re late,” Ellysa said with a sharp tone. She had her eyes closed, and she set her teacup down. “Care to explain as to why you have arrived this late?”

“Huh? What do you mean? I was just…”

“Were you, perhaps, fooling around with some other women? Recently you’ve been coming home late,” Ellysa pointed out as she began to take another sip from her cup.

“What! No! No way! Me? With other women? Impossible! I was just doing work!” I argued.

“Work, work, work. Always that excuse. Hmpf,” Ellysa harrumphed then turned her head away. “If you wish, we could divorce and you could marry work. Then, everyone would be happier.”

“You’re wrong!” I leapt onto the floor on my knees as I clasped my hands together. “What can I do to prove myself?”

Ellysa partially opened her eyes, then rolled her eyes. “Oh, I wonder. Perhaps a kiss would do?”

“Of course, of course!” I began leaning closer towards Ellysa then…

Wait…

Hold on…

“NOT!” I somersaulted across the room away from the vampire. “I was nearly tricked!”

“Tsk!” Ellysa clicked her tongue then finished her cup before placing it down onto the table. “It almost worked.”

“You damned vampire! Don’t do that!” I exclaimed while shaking my fist at her.

“Someday…” Ellysa muttered as she crossed her arms.

“There won’t be a someday, vampire!” I retorted back.

I kneaded the sides of my skull, trying to calm myself down. After trying to take a few deep breaths which never came to fruition, I took out a pouch from my robes.

Ellysa’s nose perked up, and her eyes widened as I held the pouch in front of her. “May I ask, what is that?”

“It’s a dead fairy. I figured that their blood would be… helpful in your evolution to the Vampire Matriarch,” I answered.

Ellysa got excited but immediately composed herself. She turned her head away, and hid her grin with her slender fingers. “If this is your form of declaration of love, I do not mind accepting such succulent gift!”

“Oh, hey, Lucia! Want to try fairy?” I quickly 360 degrees around and waved the pouch in front of Lucia’s face.

“W-Wait!” Ellysa interjected.

“But, doesn’t your lordship wish to see Lady Ellysa become the Vampire Matriarch? Why does your lordship want to gift this one with such a gift?” Lucia asked.

“It doesn't really matter who becomes the Vampire Matriarch, as long as they obey me, you know?” I answered as I began to hand the pouch to Lucia.

“Waaaait!” Ellysa shouted.

I was simply teasing her, but I did not expect a massive overreaction from her. Specifically, she leapt from her chair, then clung onto my back.

“What in The Abyss?! Get off me!” I screamed as I began spinning around to get her off me.

“Please Lord Archlich! Forgive my transgression! I have overstepped my bounds!” Ellysa screamed back as she bawled her eyes out.

“I get it! I get it! Get! Off! NOW!” I threw my arm around Ellysa’s head, then slammed her entire body down onto the floor. I was sure that vampires couldn’t break their bones… or something. Maybe I was simply denying that I heard a massive crack when I threw the dwarf down with a side slam.

Just to be sure, I held the pouch above her head. “Heeeeey. If you’re not dead-dead, I’ll give you this fairy corpse.”

Ellysa raised her head from the floor, then eagerly held her hands out. The moment the pouch landed on her pale palms, she unwrapped the bundle and began devouring the corpse.

“I would never would have guessed that I would witness an archlich slam a vampire lady, then proceed to give her a corpse of my own kind to eat,” Satel mumbled as she revealed her head from my robes.

“What?! This body wasn’t yours?! How disappointing! Delicious, but disappointing!” Ellysa said as she continued to gnaw on the fairy corpse like some kind of beef jerky.

“First of all, don’t talk while you eat. Secondly, you’re getting blood all over my floor!” I shouted.

Just as I was about to strangle the little dwarven turd, someone knocked against my door.

“Great. There’s probably complaints from the noise,” I grumbled as I went to answer the door instead of Lucia.

Unexpectedly, what greeted me was Yomi, who was nervously fidgeting as she looked around suspiciously. Her hands were clasped, and her hair was a mess. It almost looked like she hadn’t slept in a few days.

“What happened to you?” I asked.

“B-Boss? What do you mean?” she asked back.

“You look like a mess. Did you get attacked by a horde of muscle thugs or something?”

Yomi chuckled tiredly, then answered, “Ah, no. You told me to meet you in your room, so I went to finish all my work as soon as I could. Now that I’m free, I believe I could dedicate myself to studying necromancy from a true master!”

I ran my hand against my chin, then snapped my finger. “You’re free right now? I need to discuss something important with you. In particular, it’s about the students.”

“Eh? What’s this about? Do you not like teaching the class?” Yomi looked alarm as her eyes started to wander around, as if she was trying to think of a way to make me stay.

“Well other than that-...”

“W-What about the contract? We had a contract, right?” Yomi asked.

I waved my hand then replied, “In the first place, the contract said that you would teach me necromancy, but then there’s nothing for you to teach me. I was only curious on how much you know about necromancy.”

“You’re right…” Yomi sighed.

“But a deal’s a deal. In fact, I want to increase the difficulty of the class,” I continued.

“I see… I suppose it can’t be helped that you want to leave-... Wait. What?!” Yomi looked at me with shock.

“If the students are to win against the muscle states, they will have to be drilled using the Old Sorcery Method,” I explained.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“I just held an evaluation, and I must say, people nowadays are quite lax, aren’t they? They couldn’t even kill a troll! When I was young, babies used to slaughter trolls by the hundreds for fun!”

“EEEEHHH?”

“It seems that sorcerers have forgotten what it meant to wage bloody wars. Cahalot is in conflict with the other sorcerer states? You call this a ‘survival’ and a ‘struggle’? You can’t be serious. In my younger days, genocide, total annihilation, and salting the lands was just past time.”

“W-Wait, by ‘younger days’, how long ago was this?”

“A thousand years ago.”

“EEEEEEEEH???”

“While the Sorcerer Academia Games wouldn’t be on the same scale as a war, my own people would’ve seen it as a declaration of war nevertheless. Competitions are, after all, just another form of war.”

“What kind of tumultuous time the past was?!”

“Quiet down. This entire floor isn’t owned by me, you know?” I chided.

“Ah, sorry. Anyway, about the Old Sorcery Method…”

“Did you know? If you train the body, you train the mind. The mind is the source of magic. Therefore, if you train the body, you train magic. That was the old way,” I explained proudly and confidently.

“T-This is starting to sound like musclemancy…”

“Nonsense. The olden times was all about survival of the fittest, strongest, smartest, and most cunning. It is time to wake the wolves, and bring despair to the sheep once more.”

“W-Wait! Aren’t you just training the students for an inter-state competition and not for a war?!”

“Don’t be silly. If I promised to do something, I will not half-ass it. Like I said before, competition is just another form of war.”

*

*

*

Lately, my evaluation of Master was getting better. At first, I thought he was an insane lunatic which should be avoided at all cost, but now…

Wait… I still see him as an insane lunatic which should be avoided at all cost! Then that means that nothing had changed at all!

A few days after the incident with the demon and Iova’s resurrection, another day of class started, and I took my seat and Iova caught me by surprise by hugging me from behind. I showed her the usual angry face, but in the inside, I was really glad that she hadn’t change at all.

After the incident, Master disappeared, so all of the Advanced Magic Class had turned into self-study.

However, this time, Master walked into the classroom followed by his pet priestess Inez. He had a huge stack of paper so I was wondering what shenanigan we were being plunged into this time. I had heard from the ‘Sword Princess’ Aera that he had her group fight against a troll, which were renowned to be ridiculously resilient.

Right now, my instinct was telling me that I shouldn't be in class right now. Should I perhaps run away with Iova?

“Listen up, you maggots. For the past few years Cahalot had been left in the shadow because of how… lax you so-called sorcerers have been living. Haven’t you heard? There’s demons coming, so not only do you need to prepare yourself against your rival neighbors, you also have to prepare to fight to the bitter end,” he announced.

Ha?

“Yesterday, I sent you all to a magical forest to train. That was a lie.”

Oh wow! I am so surpriiised! Gee weez, I wish my sarcasm wasn’t so advanced!

“I was evaluating you all. You all have FAILED miserably.”

The moment he said that, the entire class was in uproar.

“What about my grades?!”

“But we spent so long catching that invisible fox!”

“We defeated a troll!”

“Unsatisfactory!” he shouted which made me twitch out of trauma.

“Then what should we do to reach your oh-so high standard?” Aera stood up in protest.

“I’m glad you asked. I’ve been preparing a obstacle course in order to train your magical skills. All you have to do is get through the obstacle course, and get out, alive preferably.”

“Is that it? Then we can-” Aera looked confident but her face suddenly crumbled. “Wait-... Alive?”

“By the way, you have a deadline of two months. Good luck.”

My feet began glowing and I had realized that there was a runic circle drawn on the classroom floor. I grabbed Iova’s hand and began bolting towards the door to get out, but it seemed that I was too late.

My vision blacked out, and the next thing I realized was that I woke up in a dark room.

*

*

*

I don’t know how to feel about this.

Since I am a priestess of the Path, my duty was to spread the word of harmony, peace, and cooperation amongst all enemies of the dark. Yet, here I was, operating a device which only forces of evil could create.

A few days ago, Boss had somehow requisitioned and created an ‘obstacle course’ in an underground complex. How he did this, I will not bother to question.

What I wanted to question was the fact that the obstacle course was like a massive labyrinth filled with traps and monsters. He had designed them by hand, and a mysterious small girl had helped him improve upon the labyrinth.

If he only wanted to show off that he created that, I would simply go like ‘ah, that’s very impressive!’.

Instead, he offered if I wanted to be the overseer of the obstacle course. Which meant that my job was to manually activate all the traps, summon monsters, and even create dead-ends in front of their faces as I wished. Someone would take over if I wanted to take a break, and I could even take a few days off for vacation.

I thought ‘Was this a test? A trap?’

I spent all my life trying to live up to the standards of a Path priestess.

Yes. I am a model Path priestess. I am Inez, the Sorcerer City States’ best and most devout priestess of the Path!

So why?

Why did I grin like a mad dog?

Why did I felt my insides warm up?

Why did I uncontrollably nod my head at his request?

“Why me?”

“Because you are my assistant. I am the teacher, therefore, it is my duty to dump all my work to my assistants and students.”

“Why not the… rather large boy you have as an assistant?”

“Lard can’t use magic.”

Thus, I stared at the screen projected by a large purple crystal as the group of helpless students get through the ‘obstacle course’.

I couldn’t help my hands. Whenever the students got past a room, I would immediately press my hand against a mana plate, activating trap after trap, summoning monster after monster, and creating disaster after disaster.

Even as a student reached the verge of death, special mechanisms inside the labyrinth would kidnap the student, bring them to me to heal, and kick them back to where they nearly died at. In the most serious cases, Boss would intervene. He was extremely adept at reattaching limbs, it seemed.

A small group of students entered an empty room. They carefully checked the entire room with every tool and magic they had, then rejoiced as they finally found a spot to rest.

Bad move.

Really bad move.

My fingers danced across the stone plate in front of me as if I was orchestrating a choir of angels.

Oh Angels…

Forgive your servant…

For this one has fallen!

*

*

*

When I first met him, he was proclaimed to be the heroes’ party’s mentor and guide. He was supposed to the epitome of goodness. He was supposed to shield us from all manner of darkness. He was supposed to be the teacher we future heroes would look up to.

But then, he wouldn’t teach us a damned thing.

He would hand me tomes, tell me to drink milk, then run off.

Self-study was nice, I supposed.

If it was just that, it would’ve been fine.

Yet, he sent us to a forest full of wolves, which also happened to contain a demon.

Then, he sent us to a tomb full of undead creatures.

After that, he sent us to a ‘diplomatic mission’ to the elves which turned into a chaotic war.

Now that I thought about it. I haven’t been with him for a long time. Maybe a year or so?

Woe! Goddess, do you hate me?

No. There is no God.

When he helped me resurrect Iova, I thought ‘Perhaps he’s a God?’

I was mistaken.

He is a demon. The Demon Lord. The Demon God!

The Demon Lord that waged a genocidal war five hundred years ago? Don’t joke with me! That guy is a small fry!

Only this guy would send a few happy-go-lucky students who haven’t even seen sixteen summers into a dungeon with no food, no water, no preparation, and no warnings.

At least I had already seen my fair share of struggle since I was in the heroes’ party, but the other students?

At first sight of danger, many would faint on the spot. Some would even piss their pants. Catching harmless forest animals and building mud huts in a forest? Don’t even compare it to fighting hordes of rock toads, slimes, and blood monsters without rest!

As we continued struggling in this ‘obstacle course’, we learned to improvise, adapt and overcome.

The first time a student was eaten by a wall, we learned to watch our every step.

The first time we butchered a rat monster and ate it raw because something was dispelling all our fire and heat related spells, we learned to be grateful for all the meals we had.

The first time we all used magic to desperately conjure air elementals to breathe in a room without breathable air, we learned to use every resource we had.

And… the first time we sacrificed someone to plug a fire hose which didn’t stop spewing fire into the room we were in, we learned what it meant to sacrifice others for ourselves.

“Is… Is this even legal?!” a girl cried as she hugged her legs in the corner of a room.

“Even if it’s not, he will make it so,” I despaired.

“To think that you were his apprentice… my condolences!”

Thank you. I will remember you when I die.

No...

Every time we would try to pass on to the afterlife, we would be visited by a girl with the brightest smile to exist.

“Let me ease your pain.”

No. Please!

“There you go. You are blessed by the Goddess.”

I wish I could see the Goddess!

“Good bye. I hope we meet again!”

Don’t let them take me! Nooooooooo!

Thus, we struggled for two whole months. What would happen if we didn’t get out within two months?

Nobody wanted to know.

At last, we saw the light. We went through a house inside a cave, then found the exit.

We were greeted by singing birds, actual breathing air, and sunlight after two months being stuck inside a dungeon.

We thought this was all a trick. It wouldn’t be the first time. The last time someone thought he had gotten out, the walls ate him. Again.

But we saw him standing with his arms wide.

“Congratulations, my students! You have completed the first phase of training!”

I wonder if I could use my clowns to delete my existence...