“When will she wake up, Boss?” Lard, controlling the shade-like, asked me.

We both stared at an unconscious ghoul strapped to a steel chair.

“How would I know? I’m not an expert at bonkology,” I replied as I pointed at the huge hill forming on the top of the ghoul’s head. “Anyway, this is the place you were locked up, huh?”

Compared to my dingy old basement, Tenebris’ dungeon was pimped out with prison cells, stretching tables, and a walk-in closet full of torture devices. My spymaster would drool at this kind of set-up.

“Indeed.” Lard nodded. “It can’t exactly be a match to the basement where you keep both prisoners and frozen food at. No, it is like heaven and earth! On another level! Beyond the well!”

“I don’t really have much of a choice, alright? It’s either we have space for cooking supplies for the headquarters, which is disguised as a cafe, or we have a prison dungeon.”

“It’s a disguise?” Lard asked.

“It’s a bit weird but the bottom part of our headquarters is reserved for my underground network, the Skeleton Crew, while the top part is used as my public headquarters,” I explained while making a rectangle with my hands. “It’ll be hard to believe that a colorful cafe called ‘Friendship Cafe’ would be a criminal hideout.”

“May I, Vakasa of the Darkness, point out that that is quite dangerous? Would it not be more wise to have two separate headquarters? Someone as wise as me, Vakasa of the Darkness, would think so.”

“Listen, tubby. Rent in this city is expensive, and I’m trying to save up as much as possible!” I argued.

“This world is too cruel if an Archlich has to even consider rent expenses,” Lard sighed while shaking his head. “It’s a bit surprising that the cafe is doing so well.”

“Yeah, I heard Kendra found a talent and poached him from some kind of bakery.”

“Oh! Oh! I know her! It’s actually a very pretty girl! Not as pretty as my girlfriend, of course, but pretty nonetheless!” Lard said while attempting to scratch his chin. “By the way, is Particia still not waking up? I, Vakasa of the Darkness, got places to be!”

Turning back to our kidnapped ghoul, Particia was sleeping quite peacefully. I grumbled, “Maybe we should try kicking her…”

Just as I was about to kick her, Particia twitched and slowly opened her eyes.

“Get to position, quick! I don’t want to mess this up!” I ordered hastily. Lard stood next to me with a hand over his face, and I crossed my arms. We stood there for five minutes, anticipating our victim’s shock.

“Boss, I think she went back to sleep,” Lard pointed out.

“What? Really?” I reached out to shake her, but she suddenly opened her eyes. I panicked, pulled my hand back, and accidentally fell behind. Within a split of a second, I stood up and recovered, posing menacingly in front of our victim.

“Now?” Lard asked.

“Yes, now! Don’t ask me!” I angrily hissed.

“Hoh hoh! It seems that you are finally awake!” Lard laughed villainously.

“Where… Where am I?” the ghoul asked.

“Hah hah! Who I am does not matter to-”

I quickly interrupted Lard and pointed out, “She asked where she is, not who we are!”

“What? Don’t they usually ask who we are first?” Lard asked with genuine confusion.

“Shut up and answer her, idiot.”

“Wait, I didn’t prepare for this question, Shadow-Dark.”

“Shadow-Dark?” the ghoul repeated after Lard. “Wait...You’re Terebnis’ new Head of Security!”

Lard made a clicking noise and snapped his fingers. “Damn! It seems that our cover is blown! How could I, Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, have been careless?! Ah, if only I, Senator Terebnis Gloomus Darkius, have been more careful!”

“Terebnis?! How could you do this?! I wouldn’t think that you would stoop so low to kidnapping your rival in the election! The Republic will not stand for this crime!” Particia hissed.

“Foolish Particia! As if you could ever escape the trap you’re in! You are in my, Terebnis Gloomus Darkius’, dungeon located right underneath my headquarters! No one has escaped from this prison! Certainly not through the hidden wall behind you which would lead to an empty sewer pipe leading to the city’s main park which is conveniently close next to a major constabulary!” Lard boldly declared. “Also, we know you could transform into a large ghoul-thing so it would be a shame if the flimsy chair breaks easily!”

“What?” Particia asked.

“Wait, Lard. I told you to be subtle about it,” I whispered to Lard.

“What if we get too subtle, and she never finds the way out? It would be awkward if we spent all that effort to ensure her escape to be in vain.”

“Hmm. You’re right. We should make it a bit more obvious to her then!” I declared.

“Do I draw a map for her? Maybe we should’ve prepared some etchings in the sewer tunnel…” Lard whispered back.

We both turned back to Particia for a quick glance. “No, I think she can find her way out. Probably,” I hoped.

I shifted behind Lard’s shade-like and he said with a low, menacing voice, “Particia, you have hindered our master’s plan for too long.”

“Your master?”

“Behold! The future overlords of the Republic!” Lard introduced.

I quickly took out a corpse of a fairy and held it up. This was the fairy Kendra captured from Gravia’s education bureau. Unfortunately, she suicided before we could get anything good from her. Despite my apex necromancy skill, any attempts to make an intelligent zombie out of the fairy corpse would end in failure. It would be a waste not to use her corpse, though.

“A-A-A demon! But it looks dead…” Particia observed.

“What? No! No. It’s not dead. Look!” Lard shouted.

I poured essence of undeath into the fairy, raised it, and said with an exaggerated high pitched voice, “Behold foolish mortal! I am a demon! I will kill you and eat your face!”

“Impossible! The barrier around the city keeps vampires and demons out! How did you get through?!” Particia questioned with a distressed face. Her eyes were clouded with fear, and her disheveled hair wasn’t helping with her appearance.

“That’s a good question,” I blurted out. “No! I mean...That is not for you to know, Senator! Once the demons control the city, we can destroy the barrier and flood the city with… whatever we demons have prepared!”

“Muwahaahahha!” Lard laughed maniacally but abruptly stopped soon after. He beckoned me to get closer and whispered, “Wait, Boss. I have a feeling that we’ve monologued for too long.”

“What? What do you mean? Is it bad?”

“I forgot that villains monologuing for too long usually get their plans foiled.”

“That sounds like utter nonsense-”

Our door suddenly flew across the room violently. Last I checked, doors did not migrate during the season.

“Halt, villains!” a familiarly generic black-haired person pointed his blindingly shiny longsword at us. A blonde appeared from his side and lunged towards me with a rapier.

“Lightning Straight Stab!” she shouted as she charged.

“Idiot! Who would shout their moves like th-” I cut myself off and rolled to the side as I dodged her sudden kick. “Damn. It seems that I’ve taught them well…”

“Blackhair and Co.!” Lard yelled.

“My name isn’t- No, never mind. What’s more important is you let go of Senator Particia right now!” Blackhair demanded. “You will surrender yourself to the city enforcers, Senator Terebnis!”

Lard looked at me silently, and I gave him a signal. I swiped my index forward into a cross then gave a thumbs down. He nodded and turned to Blackhair. “You meddling kids may have ruined my plans for today, but you will not get me alive or undead!”

I used force magic to push the two heroes aside, and we dashed out of the room. Once we got out of the basement, groups of shades arrived, armed and ready. “What’s going on, Senator Terebnis?!” one of the shades asked.

“Ah! My cannon fodders-.... I mean my loyal supporters! I am being attacked by mortals! Stop them at all cost!” Lard ordered before we continued our escape. We exited the headquarters through a backdoor and stopped inside an alley.

“We should be safe here. I’ll remove my disguise and you recall the shade-like. I’ll meet you at my office,” I instructed as I removed my disguise.

Lard sighed and groaned, “So this is how villains feel when their plans get ruined. I, Vakasa of the Darkness, have attained a new perspective in life.”

“It’s not all that bad. At least Particia escaped with the help of the heroes. It’ll be harder to believe Terebnis would kidnap her without strong evidence, so getting the heroes to be our witnesses is a big plus,” I replied.

“Wait. You’re right! And like in most stories, everyone would fully believe the heroes without any doubt!”

“What are you talking about now?” I hissed.

“Nothing! My, Vakasa of the Darkness’, knowledge goes beyond mere dimensions, lich!”

“Once I come back, I’ll make you run around the block, you damnable lunatic.”

“No, wait! I take my words back!”

“That’s what I thought. Now recall the shade-like. We got work to do,” I said.

The next day, the entire city was informed that Terebnis had attempted to kidnap Particia and was on the loose. As soon as the word got around, I immediately made an announcement that I would make a public statement at the main city park.

Reporters, journalists, and citizens flocked to the venue, all eager to get my opinion. By afternoon, the park was so crowded that people were spilling out of the park and started blocking the roads. Reporters were already jotting down notes, and newspaper crews brought printing tools. Other than the park, hags and witches were doing live tapestry recreation all around the city.

“Ithiz-Kal here, live at the Gravia Park, just next to the city’s largest constabulary!” an undead sorcerer spoke to an eyeball tentacle monster. “Presidential Candidate Boss is about to make a statement regarding the recent shocking news that Senator Terebnis was actually working for the demons all along! Just a few days ago, he and Presidential Candidate Boss vowed to work together to fight against the demon, but who knew that he was an agent of evil?! Here comes Presidential Candidate Boss now!”

I stepped onto the podium and slowly made my way behind the podium stand. I turned my head and scanned the crowd before saying, “Ladies and gentlemen...”

The crowd went silent. Not even the undead birds flying around dared to make a sound.

“I vow to make the demons pay for making me and the republic look like utter fools!” I shouted while raising my fist. “The demons are inside Gravia, and we shall root them all out!”

The crowd went wild at my statement!

“Will you suplex them all, Presidential Candidate Boss?!” someone shouted.

“Of course, I will! In fact I-”

The sewer hole right behind the podium exploded, and a little girl appeared from the hole. Explosions rang out from all over the places causing the crowd to panic. A wall of fire was formed around the park, and the cause of this chaos had glowing red eyes. Wherever her gaze fell upon, the undead only felt fear.

“Good people! The demons are here! They are here to assassinate me!” I exaggerated loudly. I confidently stood in front of the fairy, and sprawled my hands out. “Fear not! I shall take care of this accursed enemy of the Republic!”

I leapt into the air and spun majestically before grabbing the fairy. I supplexed the little girl into the ground like a meteor, and a huge shockwave knocked everyone off the ground. By the time the dust had settled, city enforcers were already deployed. Even Head Commissioner was present.

“Look! It’s Boss!” someone from the crowd shouted.

I stood up from the crater my killing move had made and patted my shoulders. “Hmpf! Foolish demon! You think a mere monster like you is enough to take me down? Think again!”

“He did it! He killed the demon single-handedly!”

“Such strength!”

“The Republic will be safer with Boss at its helm!”

“Instant death!”

After everyone had wowed and marveled at my piece of work, the city enforcers dispersed the crowd and secured the area. Head Commissioner approached me with a dejected look (somehow a rotting pig face could still show emotions). “President Candidate.”

“Head Commissioner.” I nodded.

“This is the second time this month you’ve been attacked. Lately, things have been heating up. I don’t think it’ll be wise to continue the elections,” Head Commissioner explained.

“No! The election day draws near. With only two candidates left, this is the decisive moment.”

Head Commissioner pointed at the corpse of the fairy in the crater and said, “There was someone controlling the demon. Someone stronger than the demon. And they want you dead. Possible Particia as well. Given the fact that we don’t know the mastermind behind the demon, you'll be risking your very undeath if you continue.”

Well, I know the mastermind. He’s me! I was controlling the fairy!

It was quite a surprise that Head Commissioner could sense that the fairy was actually zombified, but then again, he was the former God of Death. I dismissed him with a huff. “Head Commissioner, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“Not just you. We still don’t know how Terebnis kidnapped Particia or where he is.”

I know how she was kidnapped. I kidnapped her! And Terebis is in my dungeon right now!

I shook my head and said with a low tone, “High Commissioner, what do you suggest?”

“We postpone the election. My death commissioners will need time to stabilize the security in the city,” Head Commissioner replied.

“Postpone?! This is outrageous! For how long?!”

“A month. Maximum.”

An extra month of procrastination sounds good to me! That’s basically a one month vacation!

“I’ll begrudgingly accept your proposal. However, no more delays. This election is important to me,” I said with a hint of anger in my tone.

“Important? Why so? I didn’t ask you when you said you were going to run as president. What could a God of Death get from becoming the president of the Republic of Gravia?” Head Commissioner asked with his tree-like arms crossed.

Because I have no idea where you keep the blood of the Vampire Matriarch!

“The Republic is a beacon towards the future,” I declared.

Head Commissioner sighed and waved his hand dismissively. “I shan’t ask anymore. Ah, before I go, remember the mysterious new criminal gang that appeared in the city?”

“The criminal gang you talked to me when I first arrived in the city?”

“Yes, that one.”

“What about them?” I asked.

“I have heard that they go by the name of ‘The Skeleton Crew’. My detectives are investigating these hooligans. We heard that their main hideout could be a cafe.”

“Excuse me?”

“Listen. The information sounds sketchy to me as well, but we’ll keep investigating. Rumors can’t surface from nowhere.”

My headquarters also happened to be a cafe...

“Anyway, Boss, in the meantime, please lay low until we get things fixed. I can see your strong passion to lead the undead and defeat the Tea Party, so I’ll try to solve this matter as fast as possible.”

Oh, please. Take your time.

“Very well. Faster is better!” I said and left triumphantly.