《Necrotourists》The Republic of Gravia - 23: Shady Dealings
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Head Commissioner was depressed, but that didn’t stop him from doing his job. As soon as we stepped out of the lake, he said, “I still have some documents to finish. Make sure you fulfil your end of the bargain.”
“Don’t worry. The demons will be wiped out in no time,” I assured him.
He glared at me before extending his rotting wings out. Head Commissioner looked like he wanted to say something or do a witty retort, but he held back. He flew up then soared into the sky before disappearing into the city blocks.
After throwing her basket of fishes into the auto-wagon, Kendra stretched and yawned loudly, “Well, that’s done. Let’s go home.”
“We’re not done yet.”
“Not done yet?! It’s late!” She pointed at the departing sun.
“It’s precisely because it’s late that we need to do this. It’s just a quick errand.” I took out my shaded spectacles and placed it carefully onto my mask. I fished out some clothes from my robes then spun around, magically wearing the clothes in one short breath. It was the same set of clothes I bought from the thrift shop.
“W-What was that?”
“Near-divine spell for changing clothes.”
“Why would you even need a near-divine spell- No, no. Teach me! Teach me!”
“Later.” I waved my hand dismissively then handed her own shaded spectacles. “This’ll help you disguise.”
“What? Just a pair of glasses? You’re insane.”
She took it anyway.
We drove to the commercial district in the city and stopped by an unassuming restaurant. I stepped out of the wagon and told Kendra, “It’ll only take a few minutes, so watch for any suspicious people.”
“Whatever.”
As soon as I entered the door, I scanned the surrounding-
“May I help you, sir?” a waiter asked.
“No.” I went back to scanning the restaurant. I managed to find a suspicious looking man, simply because he was wearing an oversized jacket with a large hat. If that didn’t scream suspicious, I don’t what would.
I sat across the table, and he immediately opened up with, “So you got the goods?”
This might be the right guy. My intuition had never failed me. I leaned forward and assumed a slick and confident voice. After all, appearance and tone could mean the difference between leaving with a good deal or leaving with a knife in your eye socket, especially when the other person was a fairy.
I nodded and replied, “Indeed. I have… the tools of the job, plans, and other… trickeries.”
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The person smiled and chuckled. “Ah, yes. The people always love trickeries. The flashier, the better.”
He seemed to like the bombs.
“Oh, they will be flashy and loud. I can assure you that much at least.”
“That’s excellent. And the tools of the job? You have them prepared, right?”
“Yes, my good man. Several crates ready to be moved at any moment’s notice.”
“S-Several crates?! You take this job too seriously!” he gasped.
“If I don’t bring this much, less people will have fun, right?”
“I see. I truly hired a professional. You’re right. What matters the most is that people have fun. So, you’ve also prepared plans?”
“The city planning, the plans for the main event, and so on…” I pulled out a map and pointed at several locations.
“I see, these spots are indeed very big. I thought I would have to worry about the main event as well. It’s good that you take your job seriously.”
“It’s nothing much for someone of my level.”
The man exhaled a sigh of relief and said, “This birthday party will be a success!”
“Wait. Birthday party?” I turned around and saw an equally confused zombie clown sitting in another table staring at me. On his table was also another shady individual. Without saying a word, the zombie and I switched seats.
My new table partner coughed and whispered, “I assume you are selling weapons, explosives, spells, talismans, and plans for a terrorist attack for the demon cells, right?”
“Y-Yes.”
He clasped his hands and said with an awkward voice, “R-Right. Several crates of deadly weapons are ready, I assume?”
“Yes. For killing purposes. Not for party purposes.”
“Yes.”
…
This was kind of awkward.
I decided to go in full details about the deals just to be sure. The person was supposed to get several crates of weapons, bombs, and have several locations pointed to him for potential targets and hideout locations. I also assured him that I had a mole inside the city enforcers which would give him accurate information.
“It seems that all appears to be in order, however…” the man paused. “Before I could finalize the deal, I’m curious. Why are you helping us?”
I pulled out the signature “It’s just business” line and crossed my arms confidently.
“No. That doesn’t work. We know you work for Boss. We know how you sabotaged Particia’s campaign at every corner. Now, tell me the true reason. Could this actually be bait?”
What a pain! I didn’t exactly think that using the same disguise over and over again would backfire on me. I should’ve prepared a second signature line against the paranoid fairies! I would need time to formulate a brilliant excuse!
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“Who says I’m working for Boss? Maybe I work for no one? There is nothing- Ah! Excuse me, waiter. I’d like to order, please.”
“Alright, sir. By the way, we have a special discount on skychops just for today!”
“They always say there’s a discount only for today- wait. Skychops?”
“Indeed, sir! Top quality skychops straight from Angolia!” the waiter added.
“Skychops… from skylords?”
“Yes, sir!”
My majestic sky flap flaps are being turned into steak?! How horrifying! I must know how they taste!
“I’ll take an order of skychops then! With mango juice!”
“Very good, sir! Your order will come shortly!” the waiter left.
I turned back to the shady person and continued, “As I was saying, there is nothing more I would like to see than to see the world burn. But why should I do it when there are professionals who can do it better, am I right, fairy?”
The shady person twitched for a moment. A grin formed on his mouth, and his dead eyes shone. “Ha. You are correct. But do you think that is enough? I need to know the name of the demon you work under-”
A waiter placed a plate of skychops onto the table and I pulled it towards my side. With a fork in one hand and a fork on another, I began cutting through my sky flap flap steak. “I work for no demon, fairy. I serve my whims and my desires.”
The fairy glanced at the sides, suspicious that someone else might be eavesdropping. “I’m still not convinced. This must be a trap.”
I calmly cut the skychop and placed a piece through my mask’s mouthhole. “You-”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Kendra suddenly interrupted. “I’ve been waiting for minutes! You said this will be quick! What?! You’re eating?! Move aside! I want to eat—no, I need to eat! Unlike you, I’m still a mortal!”
The fairy looked agitated as he stared at the little girl. “Who is this? Why does she look familiar?”
“What? Me?” Kendra asked. “I’m none of your concern, buddy!”
“R-Right. You don’t look familiar at all…” the fairy coughed.
Kendra pushed the maps and details on the table aside and hissed, “Move this junk out of the way! Where’s the menu? This restaurant better have good health and safety practices!”
“They have a special offer for skychops,” I said.
“Right.”
After ordering, Kendra placed the menu aside and stared at the shady man. “And who are you supposed to be?”
“I assume this is an associate of yours?” the shady man asked me.
“She’s my lookout,” I explained.
“Child labor is prohibited by the Gravian Labor Department.”
“She’s part-time.”
The shady man squinted his eyes at Kendra and asked her directly, “Your boss wants to help us demons, why?”
Kendra knitted her brows and slapped the table. “Because we’re evil!”
“O-Oh…”
“We want to do evil things! Like burning orphanages down for no reason!” Kendra boasted.
“That’s amazing!”
“Right! I also want to kick a dog or something!”
“How malicious!”
“Like, I would go out of my way to kick a dog!”
“I am convinced!”
THAT’S IT?!
“Ma’am, here’s your… uh… meal…” a waiter nervously placed Kendra’s food in front of her before respectfully bowing.
“Here’s the money and some more! I… We look forward to working with you!” Without hesitation, the shady man placed a briefcase, opened it, and pushed it towards us. The fairy happily skipped out of the restaurant, leaving me and Kendra at the table.
After moving to the other side of the table, Kendra asked, “So, what was that about? What did he mean about helping the demons?”
“You said all those things and didn’t even know what we were talking about?” I asked, slightly impressed.
“He looked like a shady person, so I treated him like a generic shady person. Simple as that!”
I nodded approvingly. “As expected of my apprentice. To answer your question, I was selling weapons to the fairies.”
“Huh? I thought we wanted them dead.”
“Well, yes, but killing fairies is free support from the city. The more demons we take down, the less support Particia gets.”
Kendra tapped her chin then said, “Ah, so that’s why you were trying to sell him some maps, we can just attack them because we know where they are!”
“They’re not that dumb enough to actually use the spots I gave them. I only gave them those spots to narrow the possible locations they’ll hide in.”
“Looks like it’s going to be a long day ahead of us. But first…” Kendra gobbled a piece of skylord steak. “I want to enjoy this.”
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