Chapter 18: Welcome to Konohagakure

First thing the next day I woke, dressed, ate a breakfast prepared by Sachiko, and left for my meeting with the Hokage with her in tow (there was no way I was leaving her alone anywhere until I was more comfortable there).

The meeting with the Hokage was fairly pro-forma, but important nonetheless; this was, after all, when I was going to try and buy myself four years before facing any missions. I saw no reason to become a combat asset, not when I had had barely any legitimate ninja training in things like survival, stealth, illusions, poisons; hell, I couldn't even throw kunai.

I had no reason to graduate early from the academy either. No, I wanted to grow into my body, and be as powerful and awesome as possible when I finally had to actually fight someone. The longer Sachiko and I had to train, the happier I'd be. I never understood wanting to graduate early and enter a front-line position. It didn’t matter if someone was the best five year old, or ten year old ever; all they needed to do was meet a single stronger enemy, whatever the age, and they’d be a corpse.

In fact, enemies often prioritized the youngest. They were the most promising after all, but oh-so easy to snuff out while they were still young and weak rather than full-grown threats. No, I was of the mind to spend as long as possible making sure that by the time I saw combat my odds of survival (and those of Sachiko’s survival) were maximized.

I vaguely remembered that Hiruzen had a soft spot for kids. Hopefully that would extend to me despite last night. Or maybe he'd like to keep me in a known place watched by his soldiers during the day. Either way, I wanted four uninterrupted years at the Academy, the premier ninja-educating school of the Village.

After being let into the Hokage's office (having left Sachiko at the door), I reported with a snap.

“Hokage-sama! In accordance with the wishes of my Lord, I, Recruit Sergeant Uzumaki Daichi of the Whirlpool Militia have been indefinitely seconded to Konohagakure's Ninja Corps!” Then I bowed and held position. It may have been in a bit of a high-pitched voice, but I liked my greeting. I was dressed in a fairly snazzy work-dress uniform from the Uzushio Sealing Department, including my swords and High Expert Sealer patch. Today I looked like a brat playing at being a soldier instead of playing at being a lord. I was fairly sure the Hokage was amused.

“At ease!” he replied. I relaxed my bow. “So, you've been sent here to become the next Jinchuriki?”

“Yes sir! With your approval, we will prepare and perform the Sealing in the secure room at the Consulate three days hence.” It was actually quite amusing to play the dutiful subordinate when we both know I was anything but.

“Very good. Other than your potential as a Jinchuriki, please list your skills and attributes.”

“Yes sir! I am eight years old. I have been trained by my father, who is from a samurai family, and by my mother and her father, who are both sealers. I am qualified as an Advanced Instructor of the Whirlpool-Fist style, and a Basic Instructor of the Whirlpool-Sword style. I am effective with Wind and Water chakra techniques. I am an Expert Sealer. I can use the Adamantine Sealing Chains, and use chakra flow techniques through them. I am a fair sensor. I am familiar with court protocol, and have some diplomatic training. I possess a retainer, who has been trained to be my assistant and Chief of Household by her family who are themselves retainers to my Grandfather.”

“An impressive list, especially for one so young. What would you like to do?”

“Sir! I would like to go to the Academy.”

“Really? Why? I would think you would want to be a ninja immediately, or maybe work in the Sealing Corps.”

“Not so. I am only on secondment, I may not grant Uzushiogakure's or my Clan's sealing secrets. As for the Academy, I will receive valuable training in stealth, field medicine, survival, tracking, espionage, infiltration, interrogation and counter-intelligence. I may also learn about poisons and illusions. Further, I am somewhat unused to people my age, as I have been tutored. I, I believe socialization may be useful.”

I made sure to make the last bit sound a bit hesitant. I was sure Sarutobi saw through it, but was hoping that he thought I was trying to play him to be able to make friends because I actually wanted friends, rather than wanting another four years before combat. Then again, it's possible he was thinking I was operating on an even deeper level after last night. Or a total fool for challenging Danzo. I couldn't tell.

This was why I hated dealing with ninja and diplomacy; seals at least you could test, no matter how complicated they got or how weird the results. With ninja, I always felt like the Dread Pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride in the scene with the poison. Like him, I also felt that desire to attack everything to make sure I got my target. After a pause, the Hokage finally nodded and answered.

“Very good. It is good to know your limitations, and attempt to account for them. I'll grant your request to join the Academy. A new class is entering in three weeks, you will join them. I assume you want your retainer to accompany you?”

“Yes sir!”

“I assume she can keep up. Very well, I'll place her with your group. Now, I've arranged for Jiraiya, one of my students, to give you a tour. He's waiting outside. Dismissed.” I blinked, a bit taken aback that he hadn't asked any questions about what I'd insinuated last night, then bowed again.

“Thank you sir!” I replied, and marched out the door. I saw Sachiko very studiously not looking at a man who was, at a guess, in his early twenties and inspecting her rather blatantly. His massive mane of white hair made it difficult to tell his age. 'So,' I thought, 'this is Jiraiya'. The fact he was ogling my retainer instantly got my dander up. I walked up to him, and looked him up and down before sneering slightly.

“I had already heard you were a pervert, but I didn't think you were so depraved as to ogle children, ero-Jiraiya-san.” He just spluttered while a nearby secretary had to hide her laugh as a cough. We began walking towards the exit.

“I wasn't ogling her, dammit! And what do you mean you already heard I was a pervert! I'm a super-pervert!” Wow. I did not expect that; the world had been so much more serious than in canon. I really didn't think that he would actually be that insane. Maybe it was just to get us to drop our guard.

“Even in Uzushiogakure, we've heard of you, Jiraiya,” (this was a total lie) I said, and waited a moment for him to puff himself up in pride. “Yes, the great failure of Sarutobi Hokage-sama, his student Jiraiya who unlike his team-mates excels only in perversion.” I could tell that hit home a bit but Jiraiya just laughed it off.

“Wow. You go right for the kill, don't you kid? Now I know why Sensei said to watch out for your tongue. But I really wasn't ogling her, just trying to spot all her hidden weapons; I kept noticing more.” That bastard. Giving good compliments to my retainer was totally not on; I trusted this giant prick about as far as I could throw him without using chakra.

“See, Sachiko-san, when a no-good man like him gives you a compliment like that, do you know what to do?”

“No, Daichi-sama, what should I do?” she asked softly and as if deeply interested in the subject.

“You ignore him. The compliments of a no good man are less than the barking of a dog.”

“Ah. I see. I will bear this in mind, Daichi-sama.” I loved Sachiko; she played the perfect straight-man.

“Alright, kid, alright. I get the point. Eyes off, hands off. In fact, we'll start the tour now. Happy?”

“Hmm. You're much better than Danzo-san, you know. Much more subtle, and I'm mostly left without an over-riding desire to explode you.” I told Jiraiya that I understood he was trying to take my measure. It would be dangerous to be underestimated too much, just as it would to be overestimated too much. Even an accurate accounting could prove dangerous, but I had to do and Jiraiya was a decent sort in canon (mostly). An idiot, and idealistic, but at something least trying to do good.

“You're really sharp, huh. I never would have believed there was an eight year old like you without meeting you, Daichi-kun.” I nodded at the compliment. “Alright, let's get going on that tour.”

Jiraiya was a surprisingly competent tour guide, and we ended the day with a much better understanding of not just the best places to eat and shop, but of Konohagakure's identity, culture and idiosyncrasies.

Konoha was a completely different place to Uzushiogakure. It was significantly larger, less prosperous, and had a high combat tempo that resulted in a high attrition rate. Because of this, Konohagakure had some fairly unique solutions to their particular situation.

If you have any ideas from the anime or manga, forget them; the manga/anime massively misrepresented the numbers of ninja that there were. First off, there wasn't one academy, there were several, and even more outposts throughout the Land of Fire that could train genin. Overall, including reserves, logistic corps, etc., Konoha could call on a little more than twenty thousand ninja, and graduated over two thousand a year out of a static village population somewhere north of two hundred thousand. The Land of Fire itself could call on another fifteen to twenty thousand more ninja, as independent ninja Clans or retainers that could be activated by the Daimyo.

Of those that were “active” Konoha ninja, about eight thousand were combat-fit but crippled in some way that made them have to leave the active forces, or just too old; ninja with long-distance mobility issues, for example, could not be active-combat forces. Many of them still taught, worked in the hospital or in logistics, or any of a dozen different departments that don't actually result in doing frequent missions; all did regular training as part of the reserve.

Of the twelve thousand remaining potential combat troops, fully half were employed as ordered by the Daimyo; they could be attached as special forces units in the national military, acted as couriers or internal spies, and policed the border and roads. This was where most of the “genin corps,” those genin too unpromising to be “elite genin” on the fast-track to Jonin path, and the “chunin corps”, most of whom were once part of the genin corps, ended up.

Those who tried out for elite genin (like the Rookie Nine or Twelve or whatever highlighted by the show) got two chances. The first was when they had the Jonin test. Just being allowed to take the Jonin test required graduating in one of the top classes, and even still only about a third passed.

If they failed, the new ninja went to the genin academy, rather than the student academy, with the rest of the leftovers from the academy program who never even got a chance. They were then given general forces, specialization, and electives training. They then got to try the Jonin test one more time, along with the most promising of the genin who never got to try in the first place.

If they failed that test, then they faced another one to two years of training at the genin academy, leaving when they either tested (and passed) as a genin, or tested into a specialist training program (medic, sealing, genjutsu, ninjutsu, strategy, stealth etc.). Out of a class of two thousand graduates, only two to four hundred would end up in the elite-track, or one of the specialization programs that gave similar benefits and reputation.

All of its reserves, logistical requirements, and the Daimyo's requirements left Konoha with only six thousand active duty combat-forces. About two thousand of these were kept as a guard in and around Konoha, though about half of the guards were “paper-guards” who trained with guard units, but spent most of the actual “guarding” time in the hospital or Torture and Interrogation or whatever.

There were also about four hundred ANBU. Another eight hundred were hunter-nin, or on long-term infiltration or recruitment assignments across the countries. Tsunade, when Naruto retrieved her to become Hokage was probably (at least nominally) one of these. Within the village, there was the hospital staff, who also operated the combat-medic training center, Torture and Interrogation, Sealing Corps, Academy Staff, Specialist Training Staff, Cryptography, Strategy Office, etc., all taking up about another eight hundred active duty ninja. This left Konoha with only two thousand active duty ninja to deploy at will on mercenary missions.

While two thousand were not that many to be the principle bread-winners of the village, it was still one sixth of the total active combat forces, and they kept up a very high combat tempo. Casualties above twenty percent in dead ninja alone (and thus much higher if including crippled ninja) per year would be considered good when dealing with the active mercenary ninja, and these losses were especially concentrated in the fresh genin ranks. Some years casualties might rise above eighty percent, especially as a shadow-war with a foreign village was shaping up. When combined with the losses suffered in the forces working for the Daimyo, reinforcements were crucial to continued operation.

About two hundred of these two thousand active workers were jonin, not all of whom would or could mentor genin-teams, and about a hundred and twenty genin would join the elite-track every year coming from a total of four different academies.

The competition was fierce, and this was where the Clans truly shined. They may have only supplied a tenth to a fifth of the Konoha forces (clans tended to keep some of their ninja self-employed, so they functioned similar to reserves), but they were consistently better trained, with specialist skills, better gear, and there was something to be said for serious selective breeding. The acknowledged members of major and minor clans, whether main or branch houses, between them made up sixty percent of jonin or special jonin, forty percent of Elite Chunin, and twenty five percent of the total chunin.

Another little factoid; Konoha, and the other villages, were obsessed with breeding (not that Uzushio was all that different). Most clans in the anime were Great Clans. A combination of numbers (typically above two hundred mission-capable ninja each, only a fraction of which actively worked for the village), talent, bloodline ability and accumulated wealth made them indispensable to the village. Their leaders had automatic seats on the Hokage's Security Council. The Hyuga, Uchiha, Nara, and similar clans were among these. Then, there were the minor clans. Typically between twenty and fifty ninja, they tended to have lesser bloodlines or secret techniques, often with some sort of instability or weakness, but the number of these lesser clans made them an important part of Konoha's might.

Clans all had charters that laid out what it took to be a member, and there were typically at least two, sometimes three or four categories someone might fall into. Main members would be full clan members of the main house. If there was a line of succession, they were probably in it, or could challenge for leadership when it became available. Branch members were recognized as members of the clan, but typically ineligible for leadership, and had lesser stations compared to the main branch.

The third category were clan affiliates or auxiliaries. Often illegitimate children born to a civilian or a non-related ninja such that it was unlikely that they unlocked the bloodline (if there was one), or were untrained in the secret arts of the clan. Affiliates who were successful as ninja frequently became concubines after reaching chunin, and in rare cases were married, most frequently by branch-members. A particularly successful affiliate might be adopted, normally by their birth parent, especially if they unlocked the bloodline through whatever circumstances.

The last category were clan retainers. This normally included any civilians that were part of the clan, as well as non-related ninja that serve it or its members for whatever reasons.

The cause of there being so many Affiliates was the Konoha policy on relationships; Konoha wanted the most successful shinobi to breed, and breed prodigiously. The village had only a few hundred jonin at any point in time, and it took the deaths of thousands of genin and chunin to get them. If there was anything in their genes that could be passed on to have more successful ninja in the future, then Konoha wanted it. This led to a number of seemingly odd but very logical practices.

Jonin were eligible to go to brothels with loyalty-screened employees for free, and could take them as concubines if desired. Jonin were allowed any number of wives and concubines, and got a tax-reduction or allowance (if retired) for every child. Chunin were encouraged to have at least one wife and one to three concubines, had access to the brothels at a relatively low rate, and were given slightly less generous allotments for any children. Even genin got marriage assistance and child-support.

Female ninja were encouraged to attempt to seduce superior-ranking male ninja (so long as they were out of their rank-structure or not on active deployment), and those that made chunin, especially if they might make jonin in the future, were encouraged to retire, or at least take a non-active posting, and have children. There were sperm and egg banks as well, of varying security levels, and citizens were encouraged to make use of them to the limit of their security clearance.

So, I hope that explains Konoha, the number of their ninja, and how they could survive their high levels of attrition. Note that none of this was cheap; in fact, ninja saw the vast majority of their funds going to the village, especially on missions higher than D-Rank.

That said, ninja lived well, and having all the chicks and children you wanted was typically a good reason not to go missing nin to avoid high taxes. In fact, chunin with little sex drive made up the majority of attempted defections; Konoha even tested for it as part of the routine psychological profiling.

In comparison, Uzushiogakure had very much lower combat casualties, partially due to a lower combat tempo, and partially due to having the luxury of greater resources for all ranks of soldier including things like a medical stasis seal for any soldier in the field in case of serious injury. Uzushio troops trained for longer, and had more access to specialist training than any other nation.

The main Uzushiogakure combat mission involved anti-piracy escorts and patrolling Whirlpool's territory. Whirlpool's ships were better built, better armed, better crewed and equipped with the latest in weapons development and seals. The only real threat was Kirigakure naval combat groups, and even still they would need to outnumber the Uzushio forces to have an advantage.

The ninja and samurai worked hand in hand with the National Guard and Militia, resulting in greater combat efficiency and fewer occasions of Samurai officers giving damaging orders to their ninja subordinates. Most years, Uzushio tended to suffer more losses due to injuries from training accidents or sailing itself than to actual combat.

So when an enthusiastic Jiraiya explained the concept of what were basically factories to breed ninja, it seemed very strange to me, and I suspected to Sachiko. Especially given my age. I resolved to apply a birth-control seal to both myself and Sachiko as soon as we returned to the Consulate, and place the strongest security seal possible over it. Soon enough, the tour ended. Jiraiya left, and when we returned, I applied the seals before retiring to bed.

Soon enough, I would be meeting the Kyubi. I would need my rest.