Chapter 30: Interlude 4: Problems

Sachiko realized when she was fourteen that she had problems. She had always been protective of her master, as was proper. And she had been highly impressed by her master too; he was so strong and driven, and she had been taught to value strength and drive. But that was before her master had revealed himself to her while practicing with Presence.

She realized then that whatever he was, her master was greater than any human she'd ever met. She didn't think he realized how much he had revealed, but even so, it was impossible for someone so young to have so much depth to their self. She didn't think it was possible for anything less than a god to be like that.

It wasn’t just a matter of power, though her master had that to spare. No, it was a matter of depth, of conceptual weight, of intrinsic identity. Even as a child – if such a word even had meaning to an entity such as her master – her master’s sheer Presence was enough to give pause to even the greatest of ninja. But despite her suspicions her master was not a god; he had said so, and her master had never lied to her.

If not a god though, he was still certainly something far greater than merely human.

After that, she began feeling more than just respect for her master. Adoration. Worship. She wasn't sure what the right word was. As a proper kunoichi, her master was already her lord and master. But after she grew to understand that facet of him (not all of it, no, she was not capable, but even just that sliver that her paltry abilities allowed) he was so much more.

She knew she was unworthy, but that he valued her anyways, and the sheer honor of that, of having someone like her master valuing her, and not just as a tool... That was a heady thing. She understood what her family had done to her, as a child. What they had had done to them decades ago in turn. What she may yet do to any future children of her own.

She had been shaped to serve. And not just to serve someone worthy, no, she had been shaped to serve whoever she must. A degree of fanaticism in one such as her was expected, especially if the one she served was in fact worthy of her loyalty. But combining that conditioning with a being like her master... it was no surprise how devoted she had become.

She didn't really realize how bad it had gotten until she started planning how to kill the useless scum (unworthy) masquerading as kunoichi that would approach him, bother him. Then, forced to acknowledge her feelings, she realized that it went beyond simple adoration, or worship.

She loved him. She loved him the way a priest might love their god. She loved him the way a retainer might love their lord. She loved him the way one might love their best friend. And in time, if he allowed it, she might grow to love him further.

But, at the time, he was too young. So, her fantasies remained just that. Fantasies. And she had so many. Of his requesting her to help train “practical seduction” skills. Or his using her as she had been long-ago warned may happen, or perhaps allowing her liberties as a reward for some great service.

It may not have been proper for a retainer, let alone the servant of one so high (even just accounting his political rank). But it was what it was, and as a ninja she had been trained to accept reality.

She was not jealous. She knew that he would have others, which was only right. If nothing else he was an Uzumaki noble, and there were high hopes his ability with the Adamantine Chains, sealing, or even just chakra manipulation might breed true. Uzushio would doubtless press as many concubines on him as he was willing to accept, and whoever he eventually took to wife would be of the loftiest station.

So be it. She just wanted whatever he might be willing to give, and fantasized about getting what she wanted. So she grew, and he grew, and she maintained herself on the insubstantial dreams of fantasy. And she made her decision.

She knew her master better than anyone else living, and she knew that in time he would be able to accept her. And so, she waited for that day, and planned what she would say, how she would shift reality to become the fantasy and turn dream into practicality. For all her lord’s wisdom and power, he had always been somewhat vulnerable to lighter forms of soft manipulation. And those techniques which she had used long ago to become his retainer would serve her well in her newer endeavor.

After that day (awaited so long), when he had had to pretend to be taking advantage of her, she realized that he was finally old enough to notice her. Honestly, she’d had a good bit of fun with it. Her master had always had a bit of a “white samurai,” a somewhat impractical level of chivalry and kindness towards the subtler sex.

It taught her a valuable lesson too; though she thought that sort of role-play might be a good bit of fun, she realized she’d need to wait until any relationship was better established. She just hoped her lord would entertain her ideas in time. She had, after all, been saving herself in the once-distant hope that he’d eventually notice her, want her; it was inconceivable to her that he might want someone else’s leavings, after all.

But equally she was a woman in full flower of youth, and it was well known that chakra training increased all forms of vitality. It was little surprise that she had turned to literature and titillating stories from the hot-springs. After all, suppose her master did want to get some hands-on training? She could hardly provide anything other than the best training possible; anything less than her best would just be dishonorable. Or at least so she reassured herself.

She was so filled with hope, and happiness, that one such as he would pay attention to her, the attention she so dearly desired. She almost couldn't go and actually talk to him.

Instead, she had had to lay down, and bite her lip so she might not be heard (but gently, so as to not leave a mark), and then after some minutes bathe herself before she left for his room.

It was the time to take the first step, of what she knew would be (hoped to be, had to be) many.

She just hoped she had judged the situation correctly.

She knocked on his door.