Over the course of the next week I advanced my repair skills a little, made 8 more potions of healing, did not place any runes, and got lucky with Mary. Turns out digital sex is just like the real thing, only without the risk of children if you didn't want one right now. Mary was also very imaginative and demonstrated a willingness to try new things. Overall a very nice time. None of the locals said anything, and we started a semi-regular thing in the evenings, but it all had to be put on hold when Maria showed back up. She rode her horse into town and found me sitting at my table in the Inn eating dinner.

"Hey Loser!" was the first thing she yelled, breaking into giggles when I scowled at her in reply. She plopped into a chair and waved at Mary for an ale before saying "Sup? You busy? Got a player two days north of here who's taken over a village about the size of yours" she gave me the hard eyes as she added "and he's not as nice as you are" Mary looked a little jealous, but smiled when I winked at her and paid for Maria's ale. I could see Maria made the connection, but she didn't comment, just taking a drink before saying "So?"

I chuckled as I leaned back to say "Nice to see you again Maria. So how about a little more information before I agree to go killing people"

She shrugged and said "Warrior type. Names Bigbob" she rolled her eyes before adding "don't ask me, it probably made sense to him at some point. Guys a level 18 asshole. Supposedly this town is his spawn point, and he has his own guards now. Found a serious two-handed sword that does mucho damage, and has some really good armor. Health is way high, though he doesn't seem to be suffering in other stats" she gave me a look and said "I think Tennant was able to give some of us bonus stats or something" she shrugged "anyway, he's tough, but no one likes him, so no one will miss him when he's gone"

"How many guards and how do you know he's abusing them?"

"Two swordsmen and two archers" Maria answered "and I know because I rode through and he made sure to abuse a girl in front of me. Laughed after I shot him a couple of times, then sicced his guards on me. I had to make a run for it or get killed"

I contemplated the whichness of whatness for a while before shaking my head in aggravation and saying "Ok. Let's say we do this, what kind of plan do you have?"

She leaned forward with a grin and said "Great. Bigboobs has 260 health, so he's arrogant as hell, but he doesn't have anything other than the standard healing potions. Taking over a town is stupid, and only the real morons do it because if you die, the guards revert to town loyalty, not you. Different for personal employment like mine, so if bigboobs dies, we don't have to worry about the guards"

I had to laugh as I said "So your plan is to kill him. Good plan"

"Hey" she said with a grin "I haven't told you the whole thing yet. The guards are keyed to him, so they won't bother us until we attack, and he's arrogant enough to let us get close. Guy really thinks that health level will keep him safe" she shrugged then "of course, barring a dragon" she grinned at me "he's probably right about people not hurting him enough to worry" she leaned back and sighed before adding "of course killing him is one thing, dealing with his respawn is another"

We sipped ale quietly for a time, then I asked "Can we swim?" The non-sequiter threw her off for a time, but she finally said "Same as in reality, why?"

"So we sink in armor?" the question got a shrug and a "of course", so I added "so if you got dropped into the middle of a lake wearing armor you would drown?" she rolled her eyes before saying "Yes, you would drown if you were dumb enough to let someone drop you in the middle of a lake. You are not going to trick him into drowning"

"Not what I was thinking" I said slowly "just brainstorming here. The respawn point is always the same right? You step out at the same exact spot every time?" her nod got me to say "Now, I'm just running ideas by, but what if you dug a hole there, a deep one filled with water?"

She blinked in surprise as she thought about it, then she squinted as she obviously tried to picture the idea, finally giving a slow nod and saying "Weird idea, but it might be possible. You have one day before respawn, so you would need to dig fast, and I don't know about getting it full of water"

"Well lets start with a hole first" I said with a shrug "dig it deep enough and you at least have him contained for a while"

"Possible" she said after a moment "locals will all dig if we pay them" She emptied her mug and set it on the table before adding "So kill him. Hire a couple dozen locals to dig a pit at his spawn point, then decide from there"

"Now all we have to do is kill him" I said with a pointed look

"That flame thing you do kicks some ass" she said "you can do that for a start"

I shook my head no and said "No, it kicks ass on the undead. On him it will do around 100 damage, which isn't enough without another couple of heavy hits" When she started to say something else I held up my hand and said "I might be able to do something that would let you do 135 points of damage with one shot. Now you said he let you shoot him and laughed right?" at her nod I went on "so we go in, let him taunt you, you shoot him, which takes him to half health. I do Telina's Flame for another 90, which should hopefully leave him stunned enough for you to hit him a couple more times" I sighed then and said "Now if I can get close enough to hit him, and then actually manage to hit him, I can finish him off"

"What can you do to let me do that kind of damage?"

I held up a finger to be sure she was focusing and said "Absolute word you won't tell anyone else?"

She actually paused to think about it, which made me feel better about her honesty when she said "Well, I hate not passing on juicy news, but yeah, I promise"

"I can write a rune on an arrow that should work" I said "but it's untested, so you'll be the first one to use it"

"Runes" she said slowly "I'm starting to think Lennant outsmarted himself" she shrugged before saying "Hey, what's the worst that can happen?"

"You blow up and die" I said with a grin, drawing one in return.

----

I did the rune on the arrow the same way I did my mace, setting it as "Arm when the person holding it says 'Special Delivery', then explode on impact, doing damage only to the creature hit" I got the Done! message, so hoped it would do the job. I told Maria to be damn sure she didn't hit me or drop it on herself after arming it, and I was smart enough to tell her the arming phrase first, then made sure she didn't repeat it after I was done.

This is where the 3 day thing really hurt, since I wouldn't be able to prepare anything else until after he was dead. Maria didn't want to delay just for that, so we headed out the next morning. We rode slowly enough that we wouldn't arrive until the night of the second day, which would give me enough time to do another rune before he respawned.

The town was called Crossing, which described it and the location quite well. Two roads crossed here, and the town had built up to surround the crossing point. It had wood and stone houses as opposed to my towns mud and thatch, but it had a less upbeat feel to it, with most locals either ignoring us, or scowling our way when we started toward the center. Maria had us leave the horses at a stable at the edge of town, before we started walking up the middle of the street. She was pretty sure BigBob would just laugh at me after seeing my name and poor gear. She was good for the ego, was Maria.

One of the swordsman stepped into the street and confronted us by saying "Eternals are not welcome here by order of BigBob" I couldn't help it, I laughed, though the guard only watched Maria, basically ignoring me. He was a level 10, with a surprising 130 health, so not a push over. I looked around, seeing a few locals watching the confrontation, so I yelled "The goddess Telina curses eternals who kill and abuse others. I have come as her representative to aid you in freeing yourself from the evil of the one called BigBob" I almost broke into giggles at the name again, but managed to get out "when he is dead Telina calls on you to aid us in preventing his return"

"What the hell are you doing?" Maria whispered harshly "no one is going to listen to you, they're locals"

"Hey Looooser!"

BigBob was standing in a doorway two buildings down, and he was laughing fit to kill himself as he walked our way. He was a big, blonde, mustached human, wearing chest plate armor, steel greaves and bracers, with a two handed sword on his back. "Oh my god, you do look like a loser" he broke into another gale of laughter as he stopped in front of us.

Huh, Maria said he was arrogant, but this was pretty extreme. I gave Maria a covert wink and a mouthed "Follow my lead" before turning to Biggie and saying "See this mace" pulling it out so he could read the whole 12-20 points damage before saying "You leave these people alone or I'll be whopping you upside the head with this. I've been here two weeks, so I know you guys don't have the health to stand up to this"

I could almost feel Maria wanting to cringe in embarrassment at how stupid I sounded, but Biggie just burst into more laughter as he said "Oh No! An oldtimer. Two weeks?" Still chuckling he straightened up and said "Ok douche bag, take your best shot" he gave Maria a leer and added "because me and sweet cheeks have a date later"

Drawing myself up importantly I said "In Telina's name....It's Clobberin Time!" BigBob was in the middle of a hard laugh when my mace hit. Have to say, I was impressed. I did a chopping swing, so it hit him on the top of the head as he bent over to laugh, and the explosion drove him straight down into the dirt, flames burning bright blue against his skin. Every bit of the energy seemed to hit him as we were blinded by a flash of light, and no one moved for a moment. The guard was kind of blinking in shock as I said "Um Maria, any time now"

She was laughing like a loon as she yelled "Hey bigboob, special delivery!" and shot him right in the ass. I really was impressed. BigBob got blown upwards, but sort of crumbled to ash before he hit the ground. There wasn't a closed mouth on anyone in town as they all gawped at what had happened. Maria was nearly killing herself as she laughed and said "Oh my god, you did not say 'It's Clobberin Time" she kept repeating that as she laughed until tears were rolling down her cheeks. It was so infectious I had to laugh myself, watching as she bent over, hands on her knees, wiping laugh tears away, giggling like a nut. She really was a hoot, but we eventually calmed down and I got the guards and some townsfolk to rally around.

Waving a hand for them to draw close I asked "Who knows where BigBob arrives after death?" The question had every single person there pointing at the middle of the intersecting streets. I shrugged and said "We cannot keep BigBob from returning, but I think if we were to dig a deep pit right there we would be able to keep him from going anywhere"

"Dig a hole in the street?" a guard wearing a Captain's band asked

I nodded before saying "Or accept that BigBob will be back to take over your town" There was a conversational buzz for a while, then the Captain held up a hand for quiet and said "Everyone bring a shovel"

They made it round, about ten feet in diameter, something Maria suggested to keep him from inching his way up against the sides. The physics here in Tarinath was definitely different from reality, because within eight hours they had a fifty foot deep hole and were still managing to throw the dirt out of the hole from the bottom. I was going to tell them to stop, but Maria held me back and said "Hey, what will it hurt as long as they want to keep digging" She had a point.

In response to my question, Maria said "Dying? You end up sitting in that sandy courtyard by yourself for 24 hours. After that the archway works and you step out at your spawn point. Doesn't matter if you walk, run, or fall down, because when you arrive, it's just like you took a step forward. If you don't leave the courtyard within an hour or so, you just get kicked out and find yourself stepping out at your respawn point" I had asked because I was worried he could find a way to avoid the hole.

The locals weren't exactly friendly, but they also weren't hostile to us anymore. The guard captain, who turned out to have been one of BigBob's men, was a little more accepting, so I explained how they would need to make it work. "He'll appear, then fall into the pit. It might or might not kill him, so he'll be at the bottom trying to get out. It's possible he could climb by digging into the wall, so I would plan to maybe help him along toward death if you could. He'll die, and one day later he'll appear and fall in the hole again. Some water in the bottom might speed the process up, and maybe even get him to drop his weapon and armor" I shrugged at the idea, but figured if this worked and Bob respawned a dozen times, he might get frustrated enough to try dropping it and climbing out. Either way he'd be seeing a steady drop in levels as he did the death rinse cycle thing. I figured after 10 or 12 deaths he would be down below level 5 and the guards could control him easily at that level.

They dug for sixteen hours, ending up with a hole over one hundred feet deep. I would have worried about the street collapsing, but they probably understood the physics here better than I did. He might survive the fall, but it would probably hurt a lot. It was strange watching dirt being thrown upwards and out of the hole from one hundred feet down. Freaky stuff.

Bob, when he appeared that evening, sort of took a step out of thin air, an angry look on his face, then he screamed all the way to the bottom of the pit. Maria laughed herself breathless as she kept imitating the look on his face when he realized he wasn't standing on anything. The two archer guards started plinking arrows down into the pit, but after a few each, sort of nodded and walked away. So that appeared like it would work. I spoke to the captain as Maria and I were about to leave.

"It is Telina's will that none face the abuse of the eternals" I said seriously "but the eternals are vengeful and others like him will fear the same fate, so it would aid Telina's cause if you do not say who came to your aid" Maria was watching me carefully, but didn't say anything as the captain considered my words. He did the same thing Andulin had done, sort of shivering for a moment before finally smiling and saying "You speak truly about the vengefulness of the eternals Priest. It will be as you say, and we will speak only of the three mages who arrived in Telina's name to destroy this vile eternal"