“You’re joking.”

Tanya frowned at Zuken’s skepticism. She herself had issues believing such a thing was possible, and that was despite having interacted with said Outsider for the past few days. But this was her telling them about it. Her. Snow-vampire. Kinslayer. The one person who wouldn’t use this opportunity to crack a joke.

One would think it was grounds for them having more faith in her words.

“Right,” she deadpanned. “After all, I’m known across Llaisy Kingdom for my comedic timing.”

Elena snickered.

I’ll kill this girl.

“That fool is an Outsider?” came Olfric’s snobbish voice. “Pull the other one!”

…Him too.

“You have to admit, it does sound a bit… fantastical,” Zuken replied, ever the diplomatic bastard. “He looks more like an amateur Fire-spiritist to me.”

Idly, she wondered whether he would have still called Lukas an amateur if he’d borne witness to his… other persona. Or worse, the original form when he had first faced her. When he had demolished the Ice, shattered her whip, and quite literally forced her to be his little bitch.

Don’t say more than you need to.

Originally, she’d played with the idea of throwing a false ruse about him. For better or worse, Zuken and co. seemed content to believe her Everfrost was from a second kami. If she had played it smart, she could have portrayed Lukas as just another spiritist, keeping him away from a lot of unwarranted attention. But it would also raise questions about his nationality. His race. His everything. And as much as she wanted to aid him, for reasons still unclear to herself, she had no assurance Lukas could play it smart as well.

Not to mention, if he woke up and attacked her again, everything would just fall apart.

No, the truth was the least treacherous path in front of her.

“I know,” she slowly nodded, gathering her words. “I was skeptical of it too. But he’s different. He could speak all the languages I could with an unnatural fluency. Only, he did not even know the name of the language in which he spoke.”

She shrugged at their disbelieving glances. “Originally, I thought he was just messing with me. But I know better now. He can understand and speak all the languages I know, maybe even all of them period. It’s… magical.”

“A translation spell, then?” Zuken mused, cupping his chin. “But even the best translation spells require an initial conversion into a singular language first. Plus, if he didn’t even know the name of the language, then the translation…” he trailed off, scowling. “None of that makes any sense!”

Tanya snorted. Story of her life. “Tell me about it. I’ve seen him push out lifeforce like it’s going out of fashion. It’s enough to make a jotunn jealous.”

“A jotunn, really?” Olfric snarked again. “Don’t you think you’re laying it on a bit thick?”

This time, she couldn’t blame him. Leftovers of an older civilization, the jotunn— jotnar in their native tongue —were accomplished physical warriors who used lifeforce to destroy anything in their path. Worshippers of the old Norse Gods before their doom, they now lived in the driest, most arctic fringes of the world.

“I hardly think a jotunn would have been able to use fire like he did,” Zuken commented.

“Good thing I’m not a jotunn then.”

And the floor next to them exploded.

Being an anomaly wasn’t easy.

Lukas knew it all too well— after all, he had more than his share of first-hand experience being one. To be the host of something greater, larger, more immensely complicated than oneself… It was a humbling thing. But his humility was replaced by fear ever since he’d first lost control. The khorkhoi had been Power incarnate, but it was an insane beast that lived only to kill and destroy. The kasha was comparatively tamer, but his body hadn’t quite adapted to using Fire-mana yet, resulting in an entirely immolated right arm.

Still, being an anomaly had its own share of advantages. For starters, he’d have definitely perished from the fight had the Omphalos not begun to instantly nurse him back to health. It also allowed him to remain conscious and aware despite his body shutting down from external stimuli. Trapped and concussed by the brown-haired man— Zuken was his name —his body conveniently ceased movement, and was able to dedicate all available lifeforce to rejuvenation.

All the while, his sensory receptors were intact and aware.

Listening to their conversation had been enlightening, to say the least.

Tanya was crafty, there were no two ways about it. Lukas observed how she seamlessly drew the others into erroneous inferences and hid her own ancestry— a yokai, from what the Screen had informed him. In the small span of time they’d travelled together, she had been silent about her ancestry and exclusively focused their conversations towards spiritists, bremetans, and the world at large.

In hindsight, she was very, very good at talking about things that, while they sometimes mattered, were safely insulated from anything incriminating about herself.

And yet, the same Tanya wanted to keep him alive and unhurt. For whatever reason. Lukas assumed Inanna’s thrall was still active, but even that wasn’t enough to consider her an ally.

No, at best, she was a necessary evil. One who was a better choice than the others.

For now.

“What is being conjured in that conniving mind of yours, mortal?”

A plan. Or, the makings of one.

“Very well. I expect to be entertained.”

Lukas snorted. If nothing else, at least someone would get something out of this.

Tanya was his Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card at the moment, and if he wanted her to keep helping him, he’d also need to support her claims. And to do that, a demonstration was in order. It was just as Inanna implied— an escape plan and entertainment weren’t mutually exclusive.

Lukas slowly saturated his entire body with mana. From the tips of his nose and ears, to the ends of his toes. He only had one chance to make a good first impression, so he needed to get it right.

“I hardly think a jotunn would have been able to use fire like he did,” he heard the brown-haired spiritist say.

Lukas smirked. “Good thing I’m not a jotunn then.”

[ [ [ BURST!! ] ] ]

There were two things Lukas learned from making a dramatic first impression.

First, fighting a spiritist and fighting a monster were two completely different things. Monsters were driven purely by instinct, often resorting to tried and tested ways. Spiritists, on the other hand, were human— or bremetan, he supposed. They thought, they planned, they developed contingencies, they improvised. And most importantly, he had very little experience fighting them.

Second, Lukas learned that Zuken Banksi, the Earth spiritist, was one crafty bastard.

The stone trap around him crumbled as raw kinetic force tore through them, allowing Lukas to quickly escape. What he hadn’t expected, however, were more chains forged from stone to stay wrapped around his waist like an anchor, pulling him back down. A burst of lifeforce shattered through them too, but the brief respite was enough for more chains to rise from the ground and grab onto his legs. Before he knew it, he was down on the ground, spread-eagled and bound by stone chains. And given the way the floor beneath him seemed to be above his abdomen, it was also sinking.

“Tanya calls you an Outsider,” the brown-haired man casually replied, hopping to his feet. The others quickly followed at his heels. “I think you’re just a nuisance.”

Heh. Confident, was he?

“Impressive,” Lukas praised. “But no one can chain the Hulk.”

Now!

Like a serpent forged out of metal, his familiar zipped to his defense, paws extending outward and shattering through the chains with a single swipe. Lukas twisted his body in mid-air and stomped one foot onto the ground.

Hard.

A tremor rumbled throughout the entire chamber. The black-haired spiritist— Burger or something —lost his balance and fell, along with the brunette. But the brown-haired nuisance and Tanya held their ground.

The two spider-like monsters standing guard screeched and lashed out, but a single sweep from Tabby sliced them in two. Its mission accomplished, the aqāru-cat-slime thing gracefully walked up to him and sat on its hind legs.

And began to lick itself.

“Hey!” the brunette snapped, her visage colored with outrage. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“They attacked me,” Lukas pointed out.

“Because you attacked Tanya!”

“She attacked me first.”

“Well, I didn’t see that happen. So there!”

Lukas peered closely at the brunette, who looked oddly pleased with herself for some reason. This one definitely had a screw loose. Or ten. “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

“Hmph,” she crossed her arms. “It doesn’t have to. You’re an Outsider.”

Tanya cleared her throat. Loudly.

“Everyone, as I was saying, this is Lukas Aguilar.”

“Your friendly neighborhood Outsider, available for your service if the price is right,” Lukas smirked, offering a flamboyant bow in their direction. “That is how this freelancing thing works, right?”

Tanya ignored him. “Introductions then. The one who trapped you is Zuken Banksi. That one,” she pointed towards the Burger guy, “is Olfric Bergott—”

Burger, he mentally repeated to himself.

“—and the airhead you were arguing with is Elena.”

“Just Elena?”

“Elena,” the brunette clarified, staring at him like he was an idiot. “Not ‘just Elena’.”

Lukas helplessly looked towards Tanya for clarification.

“She does that sometimes,” came the useless response, as if it explained everything.

Sighing, he turned back towards the brunette. She was a changeling, from what he could recall from his earlier Analysis. In Celtic mythology, a changeling was the offspring of a mortal and a fae— or elf, if one went the proto-germanic route. Not for the first time, Lukas mentally thanked his ex-girlfriend for forcing him to study mythological texts to help with her stupid website.

Still, there was something off-putting about this one, almost like there was a strange presence writhing around her. For some reason, Lukas felt like its attention was solely upon him, and him alone.

Clearly something within this group was openly considering him a grave threat.

But that was for later.

“Where are you from,” Zuken Banksi suddenly asked. His arms were crossed and his eyes were narrowed. Clearly, he didn’t like to waste time when he could help it.

“Not around here,” he answered, keeping a straight face.

“What are you doing in this anomaly then?”

“Loitering.”

“Would it hurt you to give clear, concise answers?”

Lukas smirked. “I could, but I won’t.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I don’t work for you. And I feel like being a bit of an asshole.”

“Clearly this savage hasn’t learned how to speak to his betters,” the Burger-man interjected.

“Hush now!” Lukas waved a nonchalant hand in his direction, the exemplar of diplomacy he was. “The adults are talking now. Wait your turn.”

Elena giggled slightly. The strange presence around her wriggled in unison.

Zuken, however, didn’t look charmed. “You expect me to believe that someone just fell into this subterranean Class-3 anomaly at random and managed to defeat the genius loci?” His hands went to his hips. “I’m not buying it.”

“Good.” Lukas mirrored his actions. The man had the air of a particularly nasty traffic cop— it was irritating how he just demanded answers like he deserved them. “I ain’t selling either.” He tilted his head in Tanya’s direction. “The two of us had a bargain, and I kept my end. It’s time you keep yours.”

Tanya looked affronted. “What about you nearly punching me to death?”

“You tried to freeze my bits in return.”

“Not that it stopped you.”

“You froze my hand.”

“It healed!”

“No thanks to you,” Lukas yawned. “Look, we can keep going back and forth about this, but I’d rather not waste my time.” He suppressed a chuckle at Zuken’s twitching eyebrow. “Just so you know, the genius loci isn’t as dead as you believe it to be. I merely weakened it. It’s still out there, healing and growing stronger.”

“And how do we know you aren’t bluffing?” Burger questioned.

Lukas shot him a bright grin. “Why do you think you’re still alive? I certainly didn’t manage to kill it, and seeing as how we aren’t all dead, it’s still recovering. Probably waiting to strike you down when your pants are down.”

Burger looked oddly constipated

“The deal was,” Lukas addressed the group, “I would help Tanya with the genius loci and destroy the anomaly’s core. In return, she, and all of you, help me gain some social legitimacy.”

“Be that as it may,” the Earth spiritist diplomatically replied, “such a bargain was struck without our consent.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re all here, isn’t it?”

“My, how the tides have turned!” he heard Inanna chuckle. “Where is the lawyer who steadfastly refused to deal in bad faith?”

Lukas mentally growled.

“I must say, mortal, you are unexpectedly impressive at strong-arming others. The offer of becoming my vassal and weapon is still on the table.”

“Well?”

“We’re perfectly capable of dealing with this anomaly ourselves.” This time, it was Burger who answered. “Nobody asked you to help out.”

“This one did,” he thumbed towards Tanya again. “And now, you owe me.”

“How about we let you live and call it even?” Burger sneered. “There’s four of us, and only one of you.”

Lukas narrowed his eyes. Two could play at this game.

“Alright, I get your point. The genius loci is weakened, your teammate is safely back with you and he,” he pointed at Zuken, “got the better of me. Once. You’re four people, and I’m just me. That makes you believe I’m weak and vulnerable.”

His dark eyes glinted as he met Burger’s gaze. “But maybe you ought to rethink that.”

Burger sneered.

Lukas drew himself to his fullest height. “Ooh, I know. Why don’t you ask her Ice-type kami how vulnerable I am?” he asked, emphasizing the words so Tanya would understand.

And understand she did.

Tanya became still as the temperature around them dropped several degrees. Her red face and white knuckles made her look like the statue of an angry goddess.

“You see, bargains, work both ways,” Lukas hissed. “You don’t have to keep your end, just like I don’t have to keep mine. We both have things to lose, apparently.”

“What do you mean—” Zuken began.

“Let me deal with this,” Tanya quickly cut him off, before coldly staring at Lukas. “The deal was made between associates on the same side. That ended the moment you tried to kill me. Several times.”

“I’ll buy you flowers later.”

She ignored his wiseassery. “And now, you’re threatening to drag me down with you if I don’t play by your rules? Is that what we’re devolving to?”

“You put your interests above mine,” Lukas shrugged. “I’m just… putting them back next to yours.”

Her tempestuous expression was a delight to watch.