HIM – THE MORNING AFTER

A small room was swept in silence, bedsheets strewn off the bed, while the two slept next to each other in peace. Both had rested expressions, their breathing low, almost unheard. As the sun slowly pierced the curtains, light fell directly on Tyson’s face. He groaned lightly as he reflexively pulled his arm up to protect his eyes. As he slowly came to, he glanced sideways and saw Aya still asleep, part of her hair stuck on her lips. He gently pulled it away as he smiled and caressed her cheek for a moment as her eyes suddenly parted slightly.

“… quite the night, huh?” Tyson asked as the two of them sat up on the bed, yawning and stretching in unison.

“What night? This is all just a figment of your imagination Ty. Get a grip.” Aya said in an indifferent tone as she smirked lightly.

“… riiight. And you, sitting here next to me, completely naked… that’s all just my imagination as well?”

“Of course. What else could it be? Why would I ever actually sleep with you?”

“Eh, good question. Why did you sleep with me?” Tyson asked, smiling lightly.

“I didn’t.”

“So we’re going with denial?”

“Better than remembering.”

“… that’s just mean.” he mumbled.

“Aah, why is your upper body such a downer when your dick is such a riser,” she said, flicking his crotch lightly and laughing as she got off the bed. “Doesn’t make any sense, does it?”

“That hurt. Where are you going?” Tyson asked.

“Well, we gotta eat. And it’s not like either one of us can actually cook, right?”

“We can just order a burger or something. I’m too exhausted to move.”

“You moved fine last night.”

“Hah!” Tyson exclaimed. “So we did have sex!”

“… wait, you… weren’t just playing along?” Aya asked, arching her brow. “You actually thought for a moment that we stripped naked and then just passed out?”

“…”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Shut up. You don’t understand the rabbit hole that is my self-doubt.”

“From the sound of it, I don’t wanna. Come on, get dressed. Let’s go and eat something.” with a low groan of protest, Tyson quickly got dressed while Aya washed up in the bathroom.

“You know,” he said as the two left the apartment. “I never pegged you for a cuddler.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“… I don’t know. You just don’t look the type.”

“Everyone likes cuddling,” Aya said. “It makes you feel safe.” And horny. Really, really horny. When the hell did I even fall asleep and how?!

“Yeah, I suppose it does.” he said. “You lied to me, by the way.”

“Lied to you?” Aya said, glancing at him as the two stepped on the sidewalk and began walking amidst thin crowd.

“I remember you specifically telling me there was a triangle down there,” Tyson said. “And, I don’t recall seeing any triangles down there.”

“Oh. That wasn’t a lie.” Aya said. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

“… you could have just stripped naked. Boom. Surprised.”

“I did.”

“Well yeah, but I mean—you know what I mean, shut up.”

“Wasn’t I supposed to be the grumpy one in the morning?” Yeah, you were.

“I need my coffee.” he said.

“Alright, we’ve evaded the awkwardness long enough.” … ugh, I knew she would come out and say it. Of course she would. It’s Aya.

“Please no.”

“What? I think it’s fine to talk about it,” she said, smirking lightly. “So the next time we’ll actually be relaxed.”

“Oh, there’s gonna be next time? Thank god.”

“… wow, your self-doubt really runs deep, huh?”

“Well, yeah,” Tyson said. “I mean, you were moaning and you looked like you were having a, you know, decent time, but who knows? Maybe you just felt bad for me and didn’t want to disappoint me any further, so you pretended not to be disap—you know what, let’s just leave it there, huh? See? All awkwardness… puff, just gone.”

“Aaaand he’s blushing,” Aya said, chuckling for a moment. “Took you long enough”

“…”

“… it was great,” she said as she suddenly grabbed his hand into hers. “Little bit short, but all things considered…”

“Short?! Are you kidding me?! The thing I was the most confident in was the length!!”

“… I meant time, Ty. Not your dick.” Crap.

“Oh. Stop laughing. Stop. It’s not funny!”

“It’s hilarious, ha ha ha!” Aya said.

“No it’s not! I nearly had a heart-attack there!”

“Why? Because I may have thought your wee-wee isn’t up to standards?”

“… you’re gonna have a field day with this one, aren’t you?” Tyson asked, sighing.

“… nah, you showed me a pretty cute face so I’ll remember that instead.”

“… why am I attracted to you?” he mumbled.

“Because I’m hot?”

“Nah.”

“I’m not hot?”

“No—I mean yes—I mean, you know,” he said with a forced smile on his face. “You’re, you know, more of a cute type.”

“So I can’t pull off hot is what you’re saying?”

“… why am I even saying anything? You’re cute, hot, sexy, a bombshell of a woman. I’d conquer China just to see your nip-slip video.” Tyson said.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re dumb.” Aya said, smiling.

“Cute dumb?”

“On occasion.”

“Like this one?” he said, leaning closer in.

“Maybe.”

“We don’t do well with the short-worded banters, do we?”

“Nope, not even a bit.” she said as the two laughed for a moment as they took the corner and entered a small fast-food place, ordering two burgers and sitting down.

“So, how do you wanna spend the day?” Tyson asked.

“Eh, I don’t know. You?”

“… with you?”

“Nice try.” she said, smiling. “Do you have any co-op games?”

“…”

“What’s with the stunned face?”

“I’m just trying really hard to battle back the erection.”

“Eww.”

“Shut up, it’s a compliment.”

“Here we go again.” Aya said. “You seem more excited about the two of us playing together than seeing me naked. Kind of kills my confidence.”

“… look who’s rolling down the rabbit-hole of self-doubt now.”

“You?”

“Yup, pretty much.” he said. “Uuuh, how about this? We’ll eat, then we’ll go back to my place for another round--”

“--of sex?” Aya interrupted.

“--yeah, what did you think? Russian roulette?”

“Go on.”

“Then, we can just sit back and watch a movie or something, you know, enjoy each other--”

“--sex?”

“… no? What do you think I am? Sperm pump?”

“Right. My bad.”

“Aaanyway, after a movie, maybe we can study some? I didn’t touch a book in the past two weeks.”

“Ah, I’m the same. We probably should. I do need to take that 2nd place from you after all.” Aya said, smiling.

“Keep dreaming, not happening.” Tyson smiled back. “After that, we can play something--”

“--so you need to buy time to torrent a co-op game?” Aya interrupted again.

“… yup, pretty much.”

“Uh, I’m such a bad girl, dating a pirate and all.”

“Ahoy matey!!” Tyson exclaimed.

“… oh for the love of…”

“Sorry, never doing that again.”

“You should have done it last night while your body was having a spasm.” Aya said, rising her eyebrows slightly.

“… so, while I was cumming?”

“Yeah.”

“You would have punched me in the face and dumped me on the spot.”

“Yeah, sure, but it would have been one hell of a being-dumped story, right?” she said, smiling. … I’ll have to punch some walls when I get back home, she’ll turn me into a puffy sheep…

“Yeah, sure, but I already have some pretty good ones anyway, so…”

“Oh? I’m listening.” Crap.

“Crap.”

“Go on.”

“… ugh, fine,” the waiter brought the two burgers and the two immediately began eating while talking. “One time, just after Emma and Jared started dating, I hooked up with this girl called Jane. She was really into hiking and stuff so, one day, she invites me out to a picknick. I figure, sure, what the hell? I may as well cleanse my lungs, right?”

“Right.”

“So, we’re hiking up this huge fucking mountain just outside the city, and like twenty minutes in, I’m just done. My legs are hurting, feet are sore, lungs are crying, you know, indoor-type troubles.”

“Sure.”

“So, I just sit down and I say to her ‘either the mountain or the me, babe’.”

“What the fuck?” Aya asked, holding back laughter.

“Shut up, I talked to her like that normally.” Tyson sneered. “Anyway, she looks at me for a moment, confused like shit till it sinks in. Then she literally picks me up and carries me for like ten minutes up.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah, right?!” Tyson exclaimed. “I mean, that’s insane! I was so terrified I nearly passed out! I mean, she could have beaten the crap out of me! How do you break that one up?!”

“So, what’d you do?”

“Well, we decided to camp out the night.”

“No.”

“Yeah. So, I pretend to fall asleep first and wait for a while and then just bolt down the mountain like I never bolted before in my life.” while Tyson maintained somewhat serious expression, Aya nearly spat out a mouthful of breakfast over the table. “I block her, literally beg Jared to never leave my side for awhile, and generally turn into a paranoid maniac for a few weeks.”

“… you’re horrible. What if the poor girl thought you were kidnapped or killed or something?”

“…”

“SHUT UP! HA HA HA!!” unable to hold it back any longer, she burst out into laughter, startling the rest of the people inside. “You’re kidding me, right? Ha ha ha…”

“… a few days after, you know, the ‘break-up’, I find a picture of me on a pole near where we first met. ‘Missing person – please call bla bla bla if seen’. She even went to the cops! They showed up at my apartment one day, and when I explained the whole thing, I swear to god I’ve never heard a louder sighs in my life.”

“… forget terrible, you’re a fucking psycho!! Poor girl… ha ha ha…”

“So, yeah, I don’t think ‘ahoy matey’ can top that one.”

“… aah, I’m so grateful to have never benched like crazy in the gym.” Aya said, still trying to calm down. … forget why I’m attracted to her, what the hell does she see in me?!!

“Eh, I wouldn’t mind if it were you.”

“Aww. That’s… complete bullshit, but sweet bullshit nonetheless.”

“Oh well,” Tyson said. “I tried.”

“… they really should make a movie about what you did to that poor girl,” Aya said. “It would definitely rise scumbag-boyfriend awareness.”

“… I have better plan for today.” Tyson said suddenly.

“Oh? You do?”

“Yeah. Just last week, I down---bought Metallica discography. We can get wasted listening to it.”

“… they have like four decent songs.”

“You did not just say that.” Tyson said, arching his brows.

“Yeah, I did. So what? It’s true. The only reason people nowadays even know about Metallica is because it has ‘metal’ in the name and one or two songs.”

“… how do you feel about taking a hike up a long mountain?”

“… pft… shut up… ha ha…” Well, I shan’t question her sanity. She likes me. That’s enough.

“No, I’m serious. We can bring a printer and some paper if we happen to need it. Maybe even a dog or something. Let’s just bring an ax so I can build you—I mean us, of course, a nice house somewhere up there.”

“… I’ll buy a nice house up your ass if you don’t shut up. They’ll kick us out idiot!” Aya exclaimed lowly.

“Eh, I’d rather eat you than this burger anyway.”

“… really? Really? You follow up a funny story with a sleazy pussy-pun? Come on man. I even started thinking you were funny for a moment there.” … ah, just let her maintain her lady-grace or whatever.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m a terrible human being.” Tyson said.

“Let’s just go with the original plan.” Aya said as she wiped her mouth with a napkin. “I’ll tell mom to pick me up at that bus station later tonight.”

“Don’t tell her we did it.”

“Oh, right. I slept over at my boyfriend’s. What did we do? Oh, you know, standard stuff, played games, watched some movies, danced some tunes, explicitly PG-13 stuff with backside censored nudity.”

“Eh, sounds plausible.”

“We’re not fourteen and we’re not married.” Aya said. “Not even a kid would buy that.”

“… kids buy a freaking Santa. They’ll buy anything.”

“Aww, you don’t believe in Santa? Where did your childish spirit go?”

“Washed away by heavy booze, just like my hopes and dreams.” Tyson said with a flamboyant sigh.

“…” She really does look like a small, cute, fluffy hamster—oh my god, it’s fine if I say those words, but I’m even starting to think them!!

“You don’t have to hold back the laughter, you know?”

“Let’s just get out of here before someone pulls a shotgun at us.”

“Yep, good idea. Lead the way, the restorer of my dreams and hopes.”

“Oh fuck you.”

“Soon enough babe, soon enough.” Tyson said.

“… why do I like you?”

“Because I’m hot?”

“Nah.” Aya said, smiling.

“Fuck you.”

“Soon enough babe, soon enough.”