Dear Spellbook,

Oh does writing that fill me with contentment. Dear Spellbook, Dear Spellbook, Dear Spellbook.

I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but... while we were apart, on the hard days when I was near the end of my rope, I'd write in that fake spellbook and pretend, for just a little while, that everything was how it once was.

But that’s over now. Today I woke up without a hangover, I have a nasty crick in my neck from the tiny bed, but no hangover. I want to tell you about everything that’s happening now, but it wouldn’t make any sense to you without me telling you about the interim.

Riloth 19th the 29th - 31st

Filled will purpose and hope once more, I rushed through my routine and set out through the woods to retrace my steps. Without you for reference, it was difficult to retrace my steps from that day. Distressed from the encounter with Tilavo, I had been aimlessly wandering through the woods that first day. Taking a more methodical approach, I brought a compass out with me today. Starting from the clearing, I kept a bearing due north until I had traveled for two hours, and then went east for five minutes before heading south once more. I knew I had traveled northeast that first day but was not sure of the exact angle. I repeated this for two more days before finally catching a break.

On the third day of my search grid, while walking through the woods with eyes glued to my compass. I heard a noise that gave me chills. Behind me, there was the loud crack of a stick breaking. I froze, and once still, could hear the heavy breathing of a large animal. Activating Arcane Armor, I slowly turned around to see a massive dark figure towering above me. Panicking, I Blinked as far back as I could manage, and was readying a Firebolt when I heard the most unexpected sound. In a deep voice, that did not seem fully capable of forming the sounds, I heard, “Oh wait, come bawk! I wath just pwayin wiff you!”

Now far enough away to see the figure for what it really was—a nine-foot tall bear on its hind legs— I stood dumbfounded, my Fireball dissolving into nothing before it even fully manifested. Spellbook, you might not know anything about bears, but outside of children’s tales, they don’t generally talk. Unsure of how to proceed, I lifted a hand and gave an uncertain wave, and shouted back, “Umm, hi there. Please stay over there and explain yourself.”

The bear waved back. Struggling to speak through its bear mouth it said “Awright, thath fair. One thecond.” The bear started to shrink, its hair disappearing and its limbs shrinking until they revealed a halfling—a very naked and dirty halfling—about two feet tall.

“That’s better, it’s always so difficult to talk like that! Sorry to scare you, I was just having a bit of fun. It gets lonely out here at times and animals aren’t always the best conversationalist. Do you mind if I come closer now? I smelled the salmon in your bag there, and I couldn’t resist.” Without waiting for permission, the still very naked halfling began to walk towards me. He continued, “I’m Perfon, what’s your name?”

Nothing in my life had prepared me for this. A bear in the forest or a naked halfling, I could handle; combine the two into a very short period and my brain seemed to give up. “Uhh, hi. I’m Tal.” I replied, giving my real name without much thought.

“Nice to meet you, Tal! How about we share that salmon in your bag, and I share some of my,”—he paused and started miming patting his pockets—“hmm, I seemed to have left my pockets somewhere, oh I know.” At this point, he was very close to me, and he walked up to a bush that was nearby. Sticking his head among its branches, he whispered something I couldn’t make out to the leaves. The bush grew two massive purple berries—each the size of an apple—Into his outstretched hands.

Handing one to me, he said happily, “I have no idea what these will taste like, It’s always a surprise, but they are usually pleasant ones. I’ll trade this for some of your salmon. Being a bear gives you certain cravings you see.”

My nerves—and my befuddled mind—starting to settle, I took the proffered berry and took a bite. It was delicious; it tasted like no berry I’d ever had. The closest thing I can compare it to is a sour banana, but with enough sweetness to be enjoyable. Pulling my lunch and a blanket out of my bag, I offered both to him and said, “You look a little… cold.”

At my observation, he looked down at his exposed gentles and broke into hysterical laughter, “Oh, haha, that’s not ‘cause of the cold.” He grabbed the blanket, wrapped it all around himself in a practiced manner, forming a sort of wrap-around robe.

As if reading my mind he said, “When you wind up naked in the forest as often as I do, you learn how to make do.” He took the offered food as well, and together we sat down and had a very strange lunch.

He spent the majority of the meal asking me about my favorite types of bushes. Not having strong opinions on bushes, I let him carry the conversation. I won't recount it all here, but as nonsensical as the encounter was, I think it was something I really needed. By this point, I’d not had a real conversation with anyone that hadn’t been a transaction in weeks, let alone someone as interesting as Perfon. Eventually, the conversation came around to talking about why we were each there.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you out here?” I asked, gesturing all-around at the surrounding forest.

“Well, where else would you expect to encounter a talking bear?” he answered jokingly, but then continued more seriously, “I was part of a trade caravan for my family, that got ambushed by bandits. Left for dead, I was found by Assuine’s worshipers. After I had recovered, they never asked me to leave, and I found the life of a servant of Assuine much more agreeable to that of a merchant. More naps, fewer ulcers. Eventually, Assuine saw fit to grant me her Great Blessing, and once I received it, I felt it was time to go explore more of her wonders.” There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but before I could, he asked me the same question, gesture and all, but with an added grin, “So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you out here?”

I answered simply, and honestly, “I’m looking for a door.”

“Oh, that thing, I can show you where it is. Follow me!” And like that he was off.

Could it be that easy? After days of searching, I’m going to be directed to this door by this strange halfling in a blanket?

Scrambling to catch up, I followed his small frame through the forest. The branches seemed to part before him as he ran; his passage did not produce the faintest noise unless he carelessly stepped on a stick. I on the other hand, had to activate Arcane Armor to keep the branches from harming me as I struggled to keep up with his unnatural—or supernatural—pace.

Eventually, we found a comfortable pace, and we were able to talk once more. “Would you mind telling me exactly how Assuine’s Greater Blessing works? I’ve read about it, but it was all very inconsistent.” I asked him between ducking under larger branches to preserve my Will.

What followed was a very roundabout discussion I will not recount here, but he did answer all my questions and I left it with a fair understanding of how the Greater Blessing of Assuine functioned.

When Assuine deemed one of her devoted worthy, she would grant them her Greater Blessing. Those with the Greater Blessing of Assuine are often referred to as druids. Her lesser Blessings, like the ones I suspect Roland has, allows her Blessed to use her power passively, and connect more easily with her creations. Talking to plants and animals, moving silently through the forest, and gaining energy from nature are all lesser Blessings. When someone is granted the Greater Blessing, Assuine gives them direct access to channel her power. Unlike the other gods, whose power resides with them in the Outer Realm they now inhabit, Assuine used so much of her power in creating life on Kaltis, that her power largely resides here in nature. When she grants her followers access to this power, they are able to draw it from the surrounding regions and use it as they see fit.

When they use the power, they draw it from the surrounding life. The limit on what a druid can do is based on the plants and animals they find nearby. Losing this power doesn’t seem to harm the flora or fauna in any way, but Perfon hinted that channeling the power back into its source had... interesting long-term effects, but refused to elaborate.

The uses are limited only by their “understanding” of nature, but this “understanding” is nebulous at best. Perfon tried to explain it, but it didn’t really make sense to me. He spent months following a bear family and living amongst them to try to learn to take their form, but he never got it. One day, when he was about to give up, he got in a wrestling match with one of the cubs, and suddenly he knew how to do it. This led me to believe it was an intuitive thing, but he described an aspiring physician who joined the order and could heal people the day she gained her Greater Blessing.

This is very different from how Daulf explained his magic to me. The way he described it, he gained the knowledge to use his abilities along with the power, and he is not able to change them or learn new ones unless his goddess bestows them. Assuine’s method struck me as a parent handing their child a catapult and saying, “Go see what you can fit in it.”

Shortly after the discussion on magic ended, he announced that we were at the destination. By then, the sun was starting to set, and Perfon got to work finding more food for dinner. He came back with a rabbit, two squirrels, and a strange root that looked rather phallic.

"This one isn't cold, that's for sure!" He shouted, lifting it over his head one-handed. We both burst into laughter.

Making note of his other finds I asked, "You killed those? I thought druids saw all life as sacred."

Having only recovered from his last bought of laughter, he just let out a loud "Ha!" before answering, "We do think most life is sacred, but it would be quite silly of us to tell a tiger to stop eating a gazelle when that’s what it was created to do. The way I see it,"—he opened his mouth to show me his teeth and kept talking it—"ih Ahooien didn't want ush to eat ani-als see ouldn't ha gi-hen ush all yeese teeth."

Closing his mouth, he continued, "That's the way I see it at least. Some of her elven followers have some strange ideas."

The rest of the meal was filled with idle chatter. I told him about my life growing up, and he told me his. I got the sense he was a little more than a humble caravan master in his prior life, but I was holding secrets back myself and didn't press.

In hindsight, I really needed that day with him. Even sitting before the door I was somehow able to forget my troubles and get lost in conversation with a friend. As the sun began to set, Perfon stood to leave. He said, "Well, that was a lovely chat, but I really need to fly, it truly was a pleasure." He then began to transform into a smaller feathered... something.

"Wait!" I shouted, and he did—stopping mid-transformation into some hybrid halflings bird monstrosity. He tilted his head in a slight questioning gesture, and I recognized his intended form as an owl.

Continuing I asked, "How can I find this place again, that is, I mean. How do I get to town from here?"

His voice still normal, he pointed a disturbing feathered arm to the east said, "If you head due east you will hit the road, the town is about a four-hour walk south." Finishing his transformation as he spoke, he took off and flew away into the night—leaving my blanket to fall from his owl body and flutter to the ground on the breeze.

Making use of the dying light I headed east and found the road after a short twenty-minute hike, making extra effort to identify landmarks as I went. I came out of the forest near a large dead tree I knew I'd be able to recognize in the future. That first night lost in thought I must have walked much further than I realized before finding the door.

I retraced my steps back to the clearing. By the time I returned it was full-night, but I still had hours left in the reset. Rested, in high spirits, and with a clarity potion in hand, I wasted no time opening the door.

Inside the room, at the bottom of the stairs, lay my pulverized body. Seeing it there in its unnatural state sent a shiver down my spine and turned my stomach. Standing outside the door, the golems seemed uninterested in me. Looking at my dead body—which is as disturbing as it sounds—I could not see you anywhere. Panic starting to build, I surveyed the room until I finally found it. Atop one of the shelves of equipment lay a shelf of books. This shelf was full of books in various sizes and styles and enclosed in a glass box with an intricate lock.

Looking to avoid another squashing, I tried to open the lock with Minor Telekinesis. That’s a terrible name, my mother was never good at coming up with clever spell names—Riloth rest her. Anyway, whatever effect dispelled my armor the day before preventing the spell from taking effect in the pocket realm, but my Will still took a hit from the attempt. It’s unlikely it would have worked, the spell is only good for crude movements of objects and handles fine motor skills like opening a door very poorly.

That really only left me with one choice—made more difficult by the inclusion of the glass case—I needed to run in and grab it, and hopefully make it out in time. Pickup a large rock, I walked through the portal. The moment my face passed over the threshold the terrible ordor of my rotting-corpse-puddle hit my nose. It was awful, the smell of rotting flesh, eggs, and rust all together. Ugh, I shouldn’t have written that, I smelled it again.

As soon as I entered the room, staggering slightly from the shock of the smell, the golems repeated their count-down. While they did, I summoned a Ghost Light in the center of the room and waited. When the lights went out, the golems advance on me; their blank faces a terrifying contrast to the stone grinding noise they emitted as they moved. When they were halfway across the room, I attempted once more to Blink across the room. Just as before, my path was redirected but—prepared this time—I rolled to the side immediately after appearing and was able to dodge the attack. Running at the glass case, I slammed my rock into it as hard as I could manage. The rock broke in two. My last thought before the golem killed me was “That was not glass.”