《The Silver Mana - Book 1: Initiate》Just a quick comment on the previous chapter
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So instead of responding to the individual comments I decided to just publish a new chapter that I will delete later...
1. Daniel has an emotional intelligence below average.
2. This was pointed out in the beginning of the story... that he is awkward around people sometimes and all that. Yes, he used to be moderately handsome, succesful, had a gf and all that... but never was a "jock".
3. The criticism is/was fair... I think I overdid it a bit, especially with the some of the sexual tone.
4. I rewrote some portions of the chapter, take a look if you want
5. There is still awkwardness, somewhat weird reactions, but that is partially because Sue is like that, and because Daniel, see point 1/2 is awkward at times. And he has been in isolation for a week, in a dungeon, that is bound to screw with your mind a bit... I just took out a few things, changed some others, and toned it down. So hopefully that is something that works better with the flow of the story.
6. I appreciate the constructive criticism helping to make the story better
7. I don't appreciate the uncontructive criticism. If you don't like it and want to express it... take a moment to write a few words on how I can improve. I am not a native speaker, not a natural writer it seems, so I put a ton of work into this, more than I should really; so I consider it a matter of respect to put in a minute to write something constructive.
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